"Terry, what the fuck are you doing."
Terry King was walking down the car-cluttered streets at a quick pace, head down, ears open, thoughts abound. He didn't know what he was doing, that was what he was trying to figure out. As his mind raced from each idea to the next he once again felt himself whispering those words.
"Terry, what the fuck are you doing."
I don't know, he thought,I just don't know. His sweatshirt felt hot on him, sweat pouring off his neck and causing his clothes to stick to his back like vinyl in an old car. His free hand was switching positions every few minutes, either curled up in one of the front pockets of his sweatshirt, struggling for room against his rounds, or airing out in the cool air. He didn't know where he was going, and was fighting hard to keep alert in the midst of his frantic thinking. Where should I go? Was the question on his mind at the moment. The hand that gripped his axe swung forward and backwards like the cliched empty swing in the wind. The lucidity of his mind teetered.
He had been this way for only a few minutes, his first free few minutes in a long while. First he'd seen the chaos; fires, death, the images we associate with hell outside his apartment window. Then it went silent and the crazies left. The noises in his building didn't leave. Struggling, crying, muffled growls. He'd crept out at nightfall, unsure of what to do or where to go, but sure he wasn't going to be hiding in his eventual coffin for long. He'd found things on the bodies, mutilated corpses with bites in them, torn clothing and dried, crusty blood. From a firemen he had found an axe, from a mangled pile of only God knew what he had found a gun, and from the signs of life around him he'd found his sanity.
They were only small things; an empty can of soup still wet with broth, a dead fire near a tree that was missing a few branches, a car left running in front of an un-navigable lane of wreckage and congestion. These small things had kept him going, kept him thinking, kept him hoping. Like that old Emily Dickinson poem, it was there where he was willing to see it, willing to hear it. And there he walked, Terrance King, eyed down and ears open as the morning's first light touched his sweaty face.
A sound met his ears and his thoughts stopped. His chin rose from the ground and his eyes scanned the street. He examined the are carefully, got a feel for it. It was an old looking street, cracked pavement lining the sidewalks which ran in front of two identical rows of houses, the venerable two story ones you see sometimes in black and white movies, with stairs running up to the door and running down to the basement. No movement, no life, but the sound was still ringing in his ear. A sound of metal falling onto concrete, something everyone hears at least once. His eyes crawled along, careful not to miss a single detail. Green paint, red brick, an old chevy, a-. He stopped as the grip on his axe tightened and his poise got lower. A tipped over trash can.
He moved forward slowly, heedful of where he stepped and just as heedful about where he stood. He was practically crouching now, keeping below the heights of the cars as he neared where he had spotted the can. It was about twenty feet from him in front of an old gray house, the sun casting a shadow from behind it, shrouding each and every invaluable detail in an extra layer of deadly mystery. His foot raised vertically, moved forward a few inches and lowered again softly. He saw more now, through the windows of cars. The can rolled gently back and forth, the steel scraping on the rough stone and the steps in front of it leading into the home guided his eyes into an open door and darker shadows. He raised a bit, realizing whatever it had been had escaped into the confines of the building.
Terry walked up the steps quietly, his grip ever tightening as his ears struggled to hear anything in the silence of the morning. When he reached the creaking door he paused a moment to think. Should I announce myself? Sneaking in could kill me, but so could barging in. Suppose they know I'm coming in prepare an ambush? Suppose they have a-. His thoughts were interrupted. A bang from inside rang clearly in his ear, not far from the door, startling him. He jumped back, nearly tripping and falling backwards down the steps, but he managed to catch himself on the old railing with his free hand. He raised it and wiped the new sweat from his face, only to find too much there to get in one go. He struggled to get all the salty liquid off of his skin, but his hand was saturated with it and would hold no more. He panicked, wiping it on his jeans desperately and then dragging it across his neck, cheeks and lips.
GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! His mind screamed. Christ, Jesus Christ. Fucking quit it. There was another crash, a plate shattering on a hard surface, another familiar noise. This snapped him out of it. With renewed focus, Terry took his first step into the dark, forbidding house. Carpet met his foot, filthy carpet and the stench of rot and pestilence. His eyes fought to adjust to the light, and soon he registered the room around him.
Ugly peach carpet stained with black, the stain emanating form a dark pile of unknown a few feet in front of him, a row of stairs leading into the unknown at his left, two closed doors to his right and an open door to a light filled room ahead. He took a few more steps towards the unknown shape, no more than a foot in diameter, that lay near his feet. He crouched down towards it to try and get a better idea of what it was when he realized with horror and disgust that it was a dead cat. Jumping back his mind raced. Gah, fuck! Why did I even bother coming in here? Then he remembered the crashes he heard, and listened even harder for noise. A muffled wheezing from the room in front of him was all he could make out. Taking the axe in both hands now, he moved forward into the open door ahead of him.
As he approached it he saw linoleum floors and counter tops, shattered dinnerware and overturned pots filled with either marinara sauce or blood, and he realized it was a kitchen. Before he came close enough to see the whole room he heard another crash, though this time it didn't surprise him, he was ready for it. He fought a few moments with himself again. Pros and cons of announcing myself, uh, fuck, what should I do?
On an impulse when whatever was ahead of him let out an ugly cough, he said very loudly and clearly, "Anybody in there?" This was met with a moment of silence where Terrance felt the sweat pour down his face like a waterfall, dripping on the ugly peach carpet and making a little, salty puddle. Then, seconds later, a screech, then a burst of noise as whatever was in the room rushed to leave it, rushed at Terrance. Terry raised his axe high above his head in anticipation as the dark, hideous shadow of some nightmarish thing came onto the trash covered linoleum, and then he caught a glimpse of it. Fat, broken, bloody lips; dirty mangled hair; a torn plaid, collared shirt; gashed and cut skin; the image of it stuck out clearly in Terry's mind before he heaved the axe down with all his strength on top of whatever it had been, splitting the skull and spilling out more dark liquid on the carpet.
It sat there, motionless in a heap t his feet, the thing's insides still sticking to his axe. He was panting, sweat dripping off his chin and meeting the thing's blood. Terry let his axe fall from his hand. I killed it. He wiped his face again, only to find a fresh splotch of scarlet on his skin. He thought about it all a moment more before picking up the axe and leaving the house, walking the street again.
"I killed it. Terry," he whispered quietly as the sun rose even higher, "What the fuck are you doing."
((I will be out of the country for a week so I figured I'd leave an open first post. Use him as you please until I return.))