Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I don't have a girlfriend. So I have to conform to other metheds of fullfulling me sexual desires. Fortunatly, there are dozens of household objects that are just as good, if not better than a real vagina.

Toilet paper rolls: Just the right size!

My hands: Can ajust to just the perfect size!

Soda bottle: Great for if you haven't reached puberty yet.

Car exhaust pipe: If you want to get dirty.

Mailbox: So the neighbors can watch!

Cheerios: You supply the "milk".

Thats just a fraction of things that I use. Feel free to suggest other stuff too!

Luckily some humor has come out of this. See this example

You need to stop with the video games.

How does it fel to rub your tongue against your smooth teeth?

Spend the day with jesus

Most of those bodies are leftovers from chinise executions.

At 7/17/09 12:10 AM, CapnCrunchDaPimp wrote: Well I'm glad you're ok, and I hope there are no fatalities and few injuries around your area.

Thanks for caring, it seems that the earthquake isn't showing up on the site. I doubt there were any injuries.

Well, an earthquake just happened. A big one. It shook up the whole house for a few seconds. Even though I live in California, and that California is earthquake land, it is still a big event. I will post the detailed data when the California seismology website updates.

Yes, and this one looks like a hooker.

At 7/10/09 11:12 PM, Najjo-Rulez wrote:

It isn't as weird as this one..... when our power ran out, the corded phone was still working. IT WAS FUCKING STILL WORKING!

I have the answer. The phone lines are independent of the electric lines. The phone lines have a minor current flowing through them. Some phones are able to take all their power from just the phone line.

Ok, I downloaded, whos up for a game?

At 7/10/09 10:24 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

It's called a "Water Tower" stupid. It's powered by GRAVITY. Didn't you ever wonder how they had fountains before they invented electricity? Roman aquaducts anyone?

where I live there are no water towers, instead we have wells. Since wells are underground sources of water, there have to be pumps to bring the water to the toilets.

At 7/10/09 10:23 PM, MaraquanWocky wrote:

Do the freaking math. If a toilet needed electricity to run, then...you sit on the toilet, do your buisiness(sorry, don't know how to spell that...never have, never will), and right before you get up, ZZZAAAAPPP! You're fried.

Just because the toilet used electricity, doesn't mean that there is an electric current in the toilet. There would be a pump under the floor that sucks the water, like a fan.

At 7/10/09 10:21 PM, Akkryls wrote: I'm not sure whether this guy is kidding or not...

May be feeding a troll here...

You realise toilets DO NOT run on electricity?...
The plumbing and electricity are two different things...

I'm not an expert in plumbing or electricity, but I'm pretty sure that it takes electricity to pump the water in the toilet.

This morning the power went out in my whole neighborhood for about half an hour. During that time, everything that need electricity would not work tv, computer, lights, etc.

My brother had to go to the bathroom, so I told him to use the toilet but to not flush it. Being the young brother he is, forgets what I told him and flushed anyway. To my amazement, the toilet flushed and refilled normally. I thought perhaps the power had been restored but when I flicked a switch the light still wouldn't work. It was pretty weird.

My theory is that the toilets get backup power for power outs since having to go to bathroom would be the most important thing to save power for. Pretty smart of the power companies if that is why.

Watch this video, Obama is actually helping someone down the stairs. HE IS DOING A GOOD THING.

meh

first

Oooooooooh ooooooh ooooh, I got a good one!

Knocking over all the bowling pins.

Shuffling a deck of cards really fast.

At 7/6/09 10:43 PM, snowy556 wrote: Personally, my favorite noise is the crack that you hear while splitting wood with an axe, and the wood splits.

You want one of these?

The first fresh cut into a new sheet of construction paper.

At 7/5/09 10:47 PM, zach8109 wrote: There is a breed of cat called manx that are the only breed to have longer back legs then the front causing them to run like a rabbit and they dont have a tail. I have a pure breed manx. Although some manx will have a nub for a tail.

Yes, the manx does have the longer legs. There is also a breed of at called the Munchkin cat, with very short legs. But these breeds are nowhere close to being as radically different as it gets in dog breeds.

When it comes to breeds of animals, most people will think of cats and dogs first. When you examine the variety within these breeds, one major difference comes up between the two species.

When it comes to dog breeds, there is a wide variety of shapes and sizes. There are tiny chihuahuas, and huge St. Bernard. There are the sleek, fast greyhounds; and fat plump bulldogs. The variety is almost endless.

But when it comes to cat breeds though, all breeds maintain the same shape size. There is not a single breed that is radically different from the rest. The only differences is the hair color and length.

This question has been plaguing me for some time, and I haven't found a concrete answer. Personally, I believe that cats are evolutionarily perfect. Thee is no direction for cats to improve themselves, so they all are the same. Of course, I may be completely wrong, which is why I am asking for your possible answers.

I hat my mother too.

Michael Jackson all over, and the kkk.

Well since that World of Warcraft freakout video is popular, I made a few dubs for that.

Benny Hill
Slayer
Barney song

The slayer one matches up good and the Barney one is friggin hilarious. I couldn't find a song that syncs up with the part when he shoves the remote up his ass.

I'm so going to hell.

Offensive to republicans.

Offensive to democrats.

Here's one i found, but I was banned at the time and couldn't post it.