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Response to: If you woke up tomorrow... Posted September 4th, 2008 in General

What if I already am black?

School shower problem Posted September 4th, 2008 in General

I have a big and serious problem that could ruin my social life and I'm clueless on what to do.

Tomorrow is the first day that we have to use the showers at my school. That means I have to be in a room full of other naked guys that need to get cleaned. Now the problem I have is that I sometimes spontaneously get a hard on without any control over it. I'm afraid that one day at the showers I will get a hard on and all the other kids will think I'm gay. What should I do?

Response to: If you found a golden ticket... Posted August 29th, 2008 in General

At 8/29/08 03:03 PM, Effsix wrote: Whatever you do, don't gamble it away.

lol, gambling is bad.

you cant say gambling without saying bling bling
Response to: If you found a golden ticket... Posted August 29th, 2008 in General

At 8/29/08 02:58 AM, Elios wrote: I'd cut it in half.

So i can visit the factory twice!

If the ticket gets cut in half it becomes void, you can neither sell it or use it for admittance

So you get, NOTHING!!! You lose! Good day Sir!
If you found a golden ticket... Posted August 29th, 2008 in General

Lets say you have the munchies and you crave a Wonka bar. You open it and to your surprise find Wonka's last Golden Ticket?

What would you do? Would you go to the factory and see what's inside? Or would you sell the ticket off E-Bay for a truckload of cash?

It may be just a candy factory but put int consideration that the human being to ever go inside was Willy Wonka so going yourself you would be somewhere that has had less people than the moon.

But someone out there ma be willing to pay upwards of 500 million dollars for what you have. You would never have to work again.

So there's my question. What would you do?

Response to: Hey wait a minute... Posted August 24th, 2008 in General

lol

Because lol is short for laugh out loud.

Response to: thou shalt photoshop it! Posted August 13th, 2008 in General

At 8/13/08 01:59 PM, O0-0O-O0-0O wrote: How about jump on the bandwagon?

how about no

Response to: I Think I Just Broke My Jaw Posted July 30th, 2008 in General

I think I just broke my JEW

Response to: I'm in love with pixar Posted July 30th, 2008 in General

At 7/30/08 01:42 AM, b-rod wrote: Has Pixar ever made a movie that sucked?

As a matter of fact, there was. A Bug's Life. That movie really really SUCKED. It SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED.

It sucked so bad it made go outside and set ants on fire.

Response to: Ask a crane operator. Posted July 20th, 2008 in General

Have you ever gotten high, while you were high?

Ha Ha Tom, very funny Posted July 20th, 2008 in General

I went to the webcam link on the front page to see the comic con webcam and all I he got has a picture of him holding a beer. Not very joke in my opinion, but nevertheless, a joke. I don't get, but I'm guessing other people rolled on the floor laughing.

Response to: Unhooded Jawas?? Posted July 15th, 2008 in General

Ugly_Jawa.jpg

Response to: Things not to say in court Posted July 11th, 2008 in General

Don't say this.

Response to: I did Holland! (a few months back) Posted July 4th, 2008 in General

More pics

I did Holland! (a few months back)

Response to: Simulated Vaginas Posted July 4th, 2008 in General

At 7/4/08 02:23 AM, Reapertonn wrote:
At 7/4/08 02:19 AM, Butt-Blast wrote: The purpose of a simulated vagina is to stimulate your cock, such as sucking it. Perhaps if we used a ton of bad grammer that could be a simulated vagina in itself!

God I'm such a genius!
So Mr.Genius,can I have your sister?PLEEEEEEEEASE?

I'm sorry to tell you, but I don't have a sister.

Response to: HandCock Sex in City deceived me! Posted July 4th, 2008 in General

At 7/4/08 12:06 AM, JoS wrote: Hancock was fucking amazing.

What are you talking about?

Response to: Simulated Vaginas Posted July 4th, 2008 in General

At 7/4/08 02:13 AM, thatoneguyfromDD wrote:
At 7/4/08 01:49 AM, NickDaPwner wrote:
At 7/4/08 01:22 AM, thatoneguyfromDD wrote:
At 7/3/08 09:07 PM, thatoneguyfromDD wrote: XD,Im 12 and I cant even fucking fit it in a bottle.
Meant to say 13.
you also said you were 12 in another thread

a doubble typo? or is it?
Yeah it is.

Might I start pointing out all of your typos?

First of all,you spelled "double" wrong, and you suck absolute cock at grammar.

The purpose of a simulated vagina is to stimulate your cock, such as sucking it. Perhaps if we used a ton of bad grammer that could be a simulated vagina in itself!

God I'm such a genius!

Response to: Celebrating 232 Years of Excellence Posted July 4th, 2008 in General

The land of the free, home of the brave.

God bless America!

Celebrating 232 Years of Excellence

Response to: Simulated Vaginas Posted July 4th, 2008 in General

At 7/4/08 01:21 AM, life wrote: Peel a banana very carefully so it stays in one shape. Take out the fruit and microwave the peel for five - ten seconds. Put the warm peel inside of a toilet paper roll and tape the back of it. Put this device between two pillows and mount it from behind. You now have your very own doggy style!

Why go through all that when I have a real dog to do it with!

HandCock Sex in City deceived me! Posted July 4th, 2008 in General

SPOILER WARNING! DON'T READ IF DON'T WANT A SPOILERS!

So earlier today I saw those new movies, Handcock and Sex in the City. They really sucked, and I'll explain why in a second.

I went to see this HandCock because it starred the guy that used to be the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. So I was excited that he was in this new movie.

So I walk into the theatre with high expectations. From the title I assumed that this movie would have cocks in it. And to compliment those cocks, hands to hold them. I also expected them to be be big cocks since the guy in this movie is black. But I was dissapointed that there was not a single cock in the whole thing! I walked in with my dick wet anticipating on big hands handling big cocks. But no, not a single one.

An even worse disapointment was Sex in the City. I paid $9 expecting some good sexy porn but none of that either. The whole movie was chicks talking. Plus I was the only straight guy in the whole theatre so I looked stupid. Instead of Sex in the City, it should be Sex in the Shitty!

I officially declare this summer to be the worst for movies. What is the best way to blow up a theatre?

P.S. HandCock will probably end Will Smith's career. His only great legacy will be this. I hope I don't have to watch these movies when I dine in hell.

Response to: Simulated Vaginas Posted July 3rd, 2008 in General

At 7/3/08 08:54 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: A sister works nice.

If you don't have your own, use your neighbor's.

Fucking my sister would involve a real vagina. The topic of this thread if about simulated vaginas.

Simulated Vaginas Posted July 3rd, 2008 in General

I don't have a girlfriend. So I have to conform to other metheds of fullfulling me sexual desires. Fortunatly, there are dozens of household objects that are just as good, if not better than a real vagina.

Toilet paper rolls: Just the right size!

My hands: Can ajust to just the perfect size!

Soda bottle: Great for if you haven't reached puberty yet.

Car exhaust pipe: If you want to get dirty.

Mailbox: So the neighbors can watch!

Cheerios: You supply the "milk".

Thats just a fraction of things that I use. Feel free to suggest other stuff too!

Response to: Wall-E, Best Pixar movie? Posted June 30th, 2008 in General

At 6/29/08 10:23 PM, VespeneGas wrote: I'm protesting CGI movies, because Disney hasn't released a traditionally animated film since 2002, and today's youth are being raised on generic cartoons made by machines.

Where's the hand-crafted love? :'(

It's up your ass.

Response to: Make a highwaysign Posted June 28th, 2008 in General

mine

Make a highwaysign

Response to: I saw crazy stuff last night! Posted June 27th, 2008 in General

At 12/27/07 06:11 PM, black-mamba7 wrote: Nice story lol

Why thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Response to: Disney porn Posted June 26th, 2008 in General

At 6/26/08 09:25 PM, string227 wrote: ....self explanatory. My childhood is already crushed by lovable cartoon characters having sex, and now i find tinkerbell masturbating with shrek. What next, will there be "planters peanuts" porn?

Link plz

Disney porn

Response to: My cousin oral sex's his hotdog Posted June 26th, 2008 in General

At 6/26/08 08:47 PM, EgoistXIV wrote: Show him an episode of Oprah.

I said punish him, not melt his face off like in Raiders of the Lost Ark!

Response to: Why the 72 virgins? Posted June 26th, 2008 in General

Should be more like 69 virgins.

Response to: My cousin oral sex's his hotdog Posted June 26th, 2008 in General

At 6/26/08 12:46 PM, ParadoxSaint wrote: His dad probably taught him that.

His dad grew up in California, and as we know, is the gayest state in the US, so maybe.