Burnzoid

At 9/12/09 04:43 PM, Lady-Stardust wrote: Jeez. I didn't know that being on cam was such a act of war.

Reporting you post.

Bitching in the thread is a bannable offence.

I haven't forgotten about it.

I woke up this morning and lol'd.

Half of NG weren't even born yet.

manda - do you remember, on that night i couldn't find the words to say i'm sorry? says:
So really. Why haven't we fucked yet?
GoryBlizzard says:
Distance.
manda - do you remember, on that night i couldn't find the words to say i'm sorry? says:
;-; I know right?

Distance, it stops people from fucking.

Lady-Stardust is fat and David can't draw for shit.

Guys, knowing a persons whereabouts, be it official or hoax, is illegal.

If that site knows exactly where I live, plus my IP address, then a couple of alarm bells are ringing. I may have to report this site to the police. I'm 100% positive it's a hoax, but it's still illegal and could potentially scare people absolutely rigid to a point of not being funny.

I'll sleep on it, and decide tomorrow.

Guys, that Russian site listed my IP and Home Address when I tried to enter. Looks like I'm pretty fucked yo!

Cunts.

At 8/17/09 07:55 PM, Shikamarana wrote:

At 8/17/09 07:51 PM, Burnzoid wrote: Average night for me bro.

Excite me next time.

You're just a jealous twat. You will never even compare to the SHADOW of the awesome that is DD.

........

What's the matter sir, Asspained? Maybe even a little, butthurt?

Perhaps both?!

Average night for me bro.

Excite me next time.

Good times had by all.

You're all animals.

Age, 13.

Didn't even bother reading.

This one always gets me.

That fucking bear man, no one went to his/her birthday. It looks so depressed. He even went though the trouble to create a banner and blow up some balloons to get people in the mood. That poor bear.

Oh shit, here I go again......

:'[

Fucking nerds.

At 8/3/09 02:46 PM, GoryBlizzard wrote:

At 8/3/09 02:33 PM, Burnzoid wrote: What's the matter Gory? A little.......

BUTTHURT?

Since you're bitching about your well-deserved kick in this thread, who's the butthurt one now?

I don't see any bitching, I was aiming for you to kick me.

Because you were butthurt.

And because you cross dress.

What's the matter Gory? A little.......

BUTTHURT?

At 7/6/09 03:00 PM, Straight-Edge wrote: Most sexually gratifying experience? Probably reading this thread.

thank you.

Did you cum?

So I had the most amazing experience on the night of July the 4th having anal sex. Best experience (sexual and overall) in my life. I was fucking this girl I had met doggystyle, and when we got slow she says, " I know you wanna put it in my butt right now" and she started making her asshole throb deeply in and out. After staring at it I almost couldn't take it and anymore. At this point i was about to cum but then she told me that she wanted to give my dick kisses with her puckering butthole. So I shoved it in slowly and started pumping and could feel her gripping my cock with her butthole.

After about a 20-30 seconds I got faster and she let started letting out the most dick hardening moans and exhales I've ever heard. Next thing I know I was feeling warmness on my balls from her squirting. After that I was at the point of no return and she says to me: "you ready to pop inside me?" "I'm gonna make you pop like a firecracker mhmm mhmm" I tried to hold back as long as I could and then it literally felt like my dick exploded. I was cumming so much that some of my cum started leaking out of her ass while I was still cumming.

Typing this moment up in word form alone has gave me a raging boner and I haven't been able to think about anything else since.

At 7/1/09 07:49 PM, Gagsy wrote:

At 7/1/09 07:48 PM, Burnzoid wrote: Don't bring this back up.

Bad memories guys, seriously.

Were you anally penetrated in this fantasy of yours?

Lets just say it wasn't what I expected.

Being a rather horny, fresh faced eighteen year old at the time, I thought it would be a fun thing to do. What I got on the other hand was horrific head/handjob surrounded by people. Apart from the girl not knowing what the fuck she was doing, and me losing my erection about ten times, I'd say it was pretty pleasurable.

Don't bring this back up.

Bad memories guys, seriously.

10:23AM - Woke up, stretched my limbs and proceeded to the three basic morning S's: Shit, shave, and shower.

11:00AM - Considered having a morning wank; clunge was on the mind. However, energy levels were piss poor so decided to allow it. Instead watched bears do the funniest things, in HD.

11:32AM - Fucked off out the house. Fucking heatwave, so dressed in the lightest possible attire. Used this as an excuse to show off my package. Getting the totty wet was a mission, looking forward to pulling a right dirty skank.

12:32PM - Stopped off for a bite to eat in some local café. Waitress was proper fit, saw right down her top as she placed my food on the table. Shooting in my pants was an option. Saw her name 'Lucy', decided to add it to my list of 'girls I will fuck.'

12:45PM - Saw a dog shit in the street, thought of Germany invading Poland.

1:01PM - Stopped to meet Sophie. By this point my bellend needed some well earned stimulation. Tried to talk her into giving me a cheeky handjob behind a skip. A tramp was there so decided to pass. Picked up a coin on the floor, took advantage of the situation and took a snapshot of her snatch from underneath her skirt, fucking get in.

2:49PM - Took a shit in a lock Maccy D's toilet. Thought of Stalin fucking Mussolini. Air con needed.

3:00PM - Desperate for a release at this point. Any bird would do. On the verge of considering rape. Then realised rape was for people who couldn't get any fanny by trying. Knobeyes.

3:35PM - Gave up, tossed myself off to a picture of Barbara Windsor in a car park bog. Only mental stimulation I could find. Apart from a poster of that woman from desperate housewives.

3:37PM - Thinking straight, decided to fill up again and go after the real deal.

4:00PM - Fucking Asian tourists. There is an extreme lack of minge out. Isn't doing well for my libido. Lowering my standards by one point. Just for today.

4:48PM - Went for a drink, started chatting up the barmaid. Lured her into getting her number. Need to work on lines, getting old. Still quality for grabbing slags. My cock, in her ass. Oh yeah.

8:38PM - Walked Amy home after her shift had finished, invited my self in for a well deserved banging session.

12:13AM - Jizzed on her face and kissed her goodbye. Didn't use a johnny that time, took a chance. If she calls me up in a few days I'm moving to Spain.

1:01AM - Blogger crashed. Browsed porn, laughed at the interracial scenes.

1:46AM - Fell asleep thing of your mums tits, in my face. For a packet of biscuits.

He has died.

Sky News is reporting it now.

By fucking a pig.

What are some things that despite all your years of life you feel like you should know but don't. Things that you missed out on because of your lack of motivation and/or a teacher that even cared to show you.

For example here is mine:

I studied English Literature at a higher degree, and was classed as a brilliant poet and story writer. Yet I have no knowledge of linguistics and what a noun/adjective/verb is and what they are used for.

I don't know my multiplication tables and I sometimes forget what I am writing about and go completely off track. I also studied French for seven years but cannot speak a word of the language, or write it.

In my eyes, sex is okay as long as two people are in love. Does this mean that they should be in a relationship? Ideally yes, but if they are already in love, aren't they already emotionally exclusive to each other? A relationship would naturally follow suit if two people in love but not mutually exclusive decided to have sex.

From personal experience, I can say that having sex while being in love is a much more satisfying and rewarding experience than just casual sex. After feeling and experiencing the difference, I have permanently upped my standards to being in love before having sex.

Now, I'm curious. How does everybody else see sex?

Oh gee, I'm going to create the best thread ever. I have a slight idea on what to write about, I find it interesting and debatable. Many will flock to read it, and many will praise me on my inspiring efforts. I just need an example for the character I will relate to in the thread.

Jimmy.

Ok Jimmy, yeah, Jimmy fits in well. Jimmy is a somewhat strong, determined idealist who wants to better the world and everyone around him. His hobbies include skateboarding badly, listing to Punk, Emo and Death Metal, and submitting his drawings and flash to deviantART and Newgrounds. Though Jimmy is considered odd and socially retarded by his peers, he doesn't show any disapproval or emotion over the matter, and continues to ignore the haters and continue his painful self inflicting life humbly.

Sometimes, when no one else is at home, and Jimmy is all alone, he will injure himself with a razor. It helps him overcome the stress of daily life, and focus's his creative aspects. He does not cry, or flinch in pain, but just sits their emotionless. He hides the cuts and the scars, Jimmy doesn't want anybody else to see them.

As a hormonal young man growing up in a world surrounded by sexual ambience, Jimmy sometimes gets aroused. Jimmy wishes for a female companion, but lacks the confidence to secure one. This saddens Jimmy, for a he realizes that a fine gentleman such as himself, deserves a well respect lady of virgin blood. Jimmy writes about his advances to become a courter on LiveJournal, much to everyone's dismissal.

Jimmy is sad, lonely, and deprived. Jimmy hates his life.

Jimmy needs love.

Jimmy needs attention.

Jimmy is you.

At 6/13/09 07:00 PM, Dew wrote: Who the fuck is grub xero?

Some fine upstanding coloured gentleman by the looks of it.

I play your mom.

She's an instrument in my eyes.