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At 2/15/11 09:15 PM, sweet21 wrote: Link doesn't even talk. How will this shit work?

Bringing back the Charlie Chaplin style?

Miyamoto isn't that stupid; he wouldn't sell out a franchise as good as LoZ that easily.

If Newgrounds is a toilet, then the BBS is the toiletpaper, right?

What's interesting, from what I've noticed watching the first round again (I haven't seen the second, but I bet it confirms this) is that again, it really comes down to how fast you can push the button.

I think we need a universal symbol for "bad idea asshole" more than a new letter.

At 2/15/11 07:56 PM, EyeLovePoozy wrote: Charlie Sheen is the man. He will go out in a blaze, like a boss.

.....while killing 4 prostitutes and having more blow in his system than Keith Richards.

And to think his dad was the President.

One touched little boys, and the other is Michael Jackson.

BOOM BOOM TSH

In seriousness though, until Bieber produces a hit 20 years from now and continues to be a star, there's no way he stands up to Jackson.

Occasionally.

But then I'm in my office, naked, with a laser pointer and a magician's hat..............

Thank God.

Perhaps finally they can make a decent Johnny Bravo movie.

With a flick of the wrist and a snap of the fingers, time slows to a halt. What should take Auter less than a second to pick up his phone seems like an eternity. Finally, some goddamn time to think. In the meantime, I pull up a chair to his desk, sit down, and light up another cigarette. It helps me relax, but currently, not as much as I'd like to.

Hm. I should probably snap Auter out of this so we can have our chat. On the other hand, I don't want him to leave. With another snap of my fingers the trap is in place, so I get up and put my hand on his shoulder. He begins to move at a normal pace again, but first speeds up, sort of like a DVD on fast forward.

"The fuck is going on?" Auter asks aloud as he gets accustomed to the new time scheme. The blinds, being closed, create darkness in the room, a perfect setting for a little bit of interrogation. This should be a lot of fun. Sure, I sort of feel bad for the guy, but on the other hand, no one pisses me off. Not now, when I'm on the hunt. Once the Nightfly has its target, it never looses sight. "What the hell is going on?" Auter asks again.

"Oh, just a little something so no one else can disrupt our fun little conversation."

"The hell you are. I'm calling security!"

"You already tried that, and it didn't get you far. Maybe you should try something else."

"Maybe I should try to kill you myself you insolate motherfucker."

"You want to get rid of me Auter? That's fine. Here. I'll help you." I pull out my Glock and fire 7 of the 8 bullets randomly around the office. In such cramped quarters the sound of each gunshot is amplified, causing Auter to flinch and cover his ears. I unload the clip, spin the gun around in my hand until it is pointing at myself, and slam the gun on the table. "Here. Use this. There's one left in the chamber. You can even say we struggled and I fired off most of my shots, until you were able to turn the gun on me and shoot me. Otherwise, stop wasting my time Auter. We both know I hate wasting time."

Auter picks up the gun and aims at my head. That's right you asshole, take the shot. See how much that'll do for you..........

To my surprise, he puts on the gun down. "Fine. You want my help? You'll get it. But this is the last time. I never want to see your face here again, you got it?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"So what do you want?"

"I need you to hack into the FBI database to see if they have a profile on this one guy."

"Jesus Christ. Still, it can be done. Does this one guy have a name?"

"No idea. But he suspected of buying C4, he's in his late 20s, ex-black ops, blonde hair. Probably listed as dead or missing. That should be more than enough."

"Okay. Let me see if I can get in. Damn computer!" Auter whacks his laptop. "Fuck, it's frozen," he tells me. Whoops, forgot to unfreeze his computer too. I walk over and touch it. The machine's faint hum from the fan comes back on. "How did you-" Auter begins to ask, but then shuts his mouth as I shoot him a glance that tells him not to question my means. I'll get to you in a bit.

"How about now Auter?"

"It works fine. Just need to back up a few things." As Auter does his computer wizardry, I light up another cigarette and play with the various pieces of crap Auter has on his desk. Soon enough Auter claps his hands. "Got the son of a bitch. I'd like to see Hollywood do that! Fucking writers have no idea how it's done."

"Print me out a copy of his rap sheet. What's the guy's name?"

"The form here says it's still classified. I don't how what you've gotten into Ryan, but this guy has some heavy shit. Just don't drag me into this again, will ya?"

"Will do Auter. Will do. Just do me a favor, and keep your family safe, eh? I wouldn't want anything to happen to your precious little daughter, or your beautiful wife?" I put the photo of presumably his family back down on his desk. A devilish grin appears on my face. Time for a little payback for earlier. Besides, it's not like he could harm me in this dimension. I just want to see how far I can push the bastard before he snaps. "Shame if a bit of piano wire got around your wife's beautiful neck or if a bit of carbon monoxide got into your daughter's room."

"You wouldn't dare." Auter gets up behind his desk quickly.

"Why not? You've already stated you don't care about me, and in my book, that's betrayal, a crime punishable by death. But you're still of use to me, which means I have to take something of yours that's equal to your life. In this case, your wife and your kid seem fair enough." Of course I'm not going to do something that low; I have standards. But still, let's see if he does what I want him to do. Auter picks up the chambered gun on the table and points it at me. Good man. Let's see if you can pull the trigger. "Hey, there's still a bullet let in the pipe, so if you want to shoot me, shoot me." I spend my arms and try to make myself as big as a target as possible.

"You're just fucking with me, aren't you? You're just one big tease after another, you know that? You come waltzing in here, gun hanging out on the side like you're a Goddamn cowboy, and threaten me. And once that's done, you fucking threaten my family? What the fuck is wrong with your pea-sized brain you asshole? Has 3 years made you a loony bin?"

"No, but it's made you a fucking pussy. Perhaps your wife should make you get a medical examination to make sure you actually got some balls on you, or maybe she should run down to the supermarket and get a sausage that's longer than that puny thing you call your dick. Stop being a fucking pussy and pull the goddamn trigger or else I'm going over there and do the fucking thing myself!"

"You asked for it, you fucking piece of shit!" Auter pulls the trigger out of frustration, anger, and just plain annoyance. I've slowed down time yet again (it never gets old, believe me) and the bullet twists slowly towards my direction. I could easily dodge it, but that wouldn't have a profound effect on Auter. No, instead, I'll do something that'll really make him shit in his pants. As the bullet approaches my head, I slow down time enough so I pluck the bullet out of air and hold it in my palm. I let time resume to the conversation Auter and I were having briefly ago. "The fuck?" Auter ponders as he sees me still standing.

I walk over and bring the .45 caliber bullet to his eye level. "Looking for this?" I ask. Auter remains speechless. "See, like you Auter, I've learned a lot in the past three years. I've gotten in with a very interesting crowd, to say the least. And I'm sorry to say, my old buddy, but this won't be the last time you'll see me. Oh, I'll be there at your grandmother's funeral, would should happen in a few months. It'll be a heart attack, quite sudden actually, so you should take some time off and appreciate the moments left with here. I'll be there at your wife's too, she'll get breast cancer. Of course, I'll be at yours too, waiting to take you to join them. Until then my old friend." I begin to walk away, but then stop and turn around. "Oh yeah, if you went and told anybody about this little conversation, I'll know and I will not be happy. You can count on that. And I'll take my gun back." I yank the piece out of Auter's hand and stick in back in my coat. "You won't need to worry about the other bullets; they never existed." I wave my hand and the castings and bullet holes disappear. "Now in a few minutes, life for you is going to go back to normal. Everyone's going to act the same, expect for you. Have a good day and a good life." I walk out of his office. Auter remains standing there as I leave, mouthing impossible thoughts. As I walk towards my car I let time flow back into its normal self. I drive off.

I believe the first time it was portrayed as an egg was in Alice in Wonderland.

Either way, I think he had a great fall to make up for a lousy summer.

At 2/14/11 10:16 PM, SevenSeize wrote: I went to Chuck E Cheese for my Valentines Day. We had pizza.

What lame gifts did you get with your tickets? The feathery eraser? The twisty straw?

Just saw it, as the West Coast time always get a bit off.

Besides what felt like forever them explaining it, there were some interesting bits, like Watson saying the wrong answer after Jennings had said the similar wrong answer, and the wording of other answers, like "Missing a leg" instead of "not having a leg".

Overall, I am impressed, but let's see how it'll do in the next round.

At 2/14/11 09:48 AM, munio wrote: ha thats grea to hear , would love to see the results next saturday
is their any diffrence in judging criterea this time around?

You'll hear when you'll hear, and not until after the contest is over. Otherwise it would be an unfair advantage. Just be patient.

Butt Ugly Martians.

Crappy CGI, awesome plot line.

The song "Love Stinks" by J. Geils gets stuck in my head.

It's not that it's a bad song, it's just extremely annoying.

I'm cracking up at this very bad yolk.

That's right, a two-for-one!

Vappy Dalentine's Hay!

Hope everyone has a good day, and if you're the type to observe single awareness day, here's J. Geil Band's great hit Love Stinks.

Lady Gaga makes good music.

Hentai is no different than porn, so it's not worse (hell, that even includes furries)

Newspaper comics are still the best.

Titanic.

Because Leo dies at the end. He was way too whiny the entire movie.

Finding out that the guy who played Krugen voices Mr. Krabs.

That's seriously mindblowing.

If the tits were even THEN I would be concerned.

Yes because the lesser known song "Dance like a Tusnian" was harder to remix.

At 2/13/11 10:00 PM, gmercerd wrote: PS- I think we should expect the judges (me included) to have read and ranked the stories by next Saturday, so we can get the judging done in a timely manner, with critiques to follow not long after. The stories are shorter than last time, so I think that should be do-able for us.

Possibly.

As is, I'm probably about 3/4 the way through the entries, but the critiques are just brief notes. I'll want to go into more detail, but I should probably be done before the end of February (I'm accounting for real life things to get in the way).

It won't matter, no one really pays attention to the Grammies anyways, they never have indie music.

At 2/13/11 10:12 PM, McGangbang wrote: you guys are fucking annoying, theres no winning against you trolls cause you have so mutch experience.
at least i have a reason to be here, whats your excuse? ill bet most of you are lonely 30 yr olds that only have lives on the net. go play some fucking world of warcraft or go have sex with your plastic blow-up dolls and fuck off. i dont have to prove anything to any of you cause your opinions are irelivent and uninteresting to me.

You do realize the more you talk, the more you prove the example of OP's point? That older people will consider your immaturity as stupidity?

The irony is fucking hilarious.

The general rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't breathe in it normally, it's probably bad for you.

It's amazing what common sense can do.

Heh, makes sense, my username's pretty unique, which would explain why most of the pictures are from the forums anyways....

I once saw this sign near the men's urinal; it said "please do not eat the giant mints."

I laughed very hard.

Ah, the joys of being an adult....

Though, typically, I try to be home around 1, because sleep is important.