Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

what type of vocals are you looking for? i might be able to help out if it's in my vocal range.

as a lyricist it's not clever, but it's not gay. just kind of meh. i read the lyrics and it immediately rings country music style lyrics.

At 9/14/13 08:36 AM, efraser wrote: Dear all,

I've been thinking of quite a few ideas for TV shows and movies lately (wanting to start a career into the screenwriting business). And although I've thought of quite a few different ideas for potentially great movies or television series, it just hasn't felt like I've hit the one I want to write about. So I thought you guys might be able to think of ideas... Any ideas for that matter. If you've got any idea at all. don't hesitate to write them down! I also definitely want to test my screenwriting skills. But, I will tell you what sort of TV series/movie I'm looking to write. I am looking to write a Drama, movie or television series. My main inspirations are Breaking Bad, Lie To Me, Lost & Person of Interest. So, please if you can think of any good idea, write it down. The more I have the better, so, if you have multiple ideas, feel free to write them all down! Even get your friends together to brainstorm some ideas if you'd like! Well, I'd like to say thank you in advance!

Sincerely,

EFraser

as a guy who's been able to sell a script, i'll help out if you want. other then that the only advice i can give you is make an original premise and then follow the usual story fomula or they wont back it. at least if you're new to the business that's how it goes.

what type of british accent do you need? like cockney or what?

Just pm for the script and I'll send it to you asap. For those who want the quick basis without having to read for 30 minutes here we go. I'm trying to make a little show based on recovery and rehab. I've written up 3 full length episodes so far and I've been told the comedy in them fits that of south park or adult swim. I'd really like to just make the web series and see where it goes and have fun with others while making it.
So the brief intro is that two addicts (bj and seth) have reached the end of their rope with drugs and alcohol and are being forced to clean up. They face a lot of problems as they now try to face reality and living in the real world, especially because the manager who runs the rehab house is an ex-convict and their house mates are all insane.
Let me know if you're interested and thanks for reading.

Recovery Now-Episode One: The Program (12 Steps to God)

pitch black. starts to fade in to focus where a skinny young man with frizzy brown hair is lying in a hospital bed. he's pale and sickly looking. the shot changes to show a methadone drip. shot changes again showing the frizzy brown haired man coming to. he moans in gibberish. the shot changes to show his arms where the needle for the drip is stabbed in. his arms are riddled with scars, scabs, and infections. it's obvious to see that the scars have come from years of shoving needles into his veins. a nurse comes in takes out the needle and starts to move the bed out of the shot. as the man is pushed out of the the shot and it fades to black again.
the shot fades into focus showing a dark haired man in a feild. he is laying unconcious on his side. he is covered in puke and blood. the shot cuts to the bottle in his hand. it's a bottle of vodka called blackened goose. the shot cuts to an overview shot of the man. it's obvious that his clothes are worn out and he looks like he smell particularly foul. he starts to come to moaning. he looks about at where he is showing no signs of confusion but instead signs of self loathing and disgust.

Bj: ...(sigh)... god dammit not again.

the man sits up, brushes the puke off his mouth. he wipes the tip of the bottle off and chugs whats left. the camera pans out as he gets up and starts to stumble off. before he walks out of the shot he tosses the bottle behind him. the camera cuts to follow the bottle as it breaks and shows broken glass with puke. the glass sinks beneath the puke and the words "recovery now" are spelt out in the puke.

Dick W. walks around house mumbling "Respect, these kids got no goddamn respect." He is short with the shape of an ape, fat and obviously works out his arms only leaving the rest of his body a flabby mound.
There is a knock at the door and Seth enters. Tall and lanky.
Seth-"Hi I'm Seth, I'm supposed to be checking in..." He starts nodding out at this point.
Dick-"I'm Dick, Dick W...I own this place. After I got out of prison I decided I needed to stop others from going down the same path."
Seth-"Ok..."
Dick-"All right before I can give you your key and you can start unpacking you need to go through an initial interview. Let's start with the basics, what was your drug of choice and give a brief history."
Seth-"Alright, I'm addicted to heroin and like it because...it feels good?"
Dick-"Alright brief, I like it, I'm down, respectful y'know. Cause I'm all about respect."
Seth-"That's good..."
Dick-"Alright do you have any emotional issues I should be aware of? Respect"
Seth-"Uh...yeah. I've been diagnosed with depression-"
Dick-"Respect."
Seth="And I've been told by friends and ex girlfriends that I have attachment issues."
Dick-"Alright Respect, let me show you your room. Then you can start detoxing."
End Scene
Dick is cleaning living room, BJ just walks in.
Dick-"What the fuck, you got no respect barging in here without even knocking. What are you doing here?"
BJ-"My parents told me this is the address to the german freak fetish hostel."
Dick-"Ah, you must be BJ. This is sober living, your parents called ahead."
BJ-"Oh what the fuck?!"
Dick-"Lets see if their info was right, respect, so you're an alcoholic, you're extremely anti-social yet severly lonely, respect-"
BJ is wasted and cuts him off-"No no you got it wrong, first off I don't have a problem, I've never done whippets so technically I'm sober, I'm an alcoholic and I don't need no one!...oh god, I'm so alone (sobbing)"
Dick-"Alright respect, follow me, alright this will be your room mate Seth."
BJ-"Alright that's cool I guess."
Seth-"Hey I'm Seth, nice to-"
BJ-"Get the fuck away from me!(while crying)"
End Scene
Outside a cop car pulls up, the cop takes a handcuffed Tim from the backseat dragging him towards Dick.
Dick-"This Tim?"
Cop-"Yeah, my only advice is to keep him away from any underage girls."
At this moment Zoey (15 year old in the girl house) walks out, from Tim's perspective "Heaven by DJ Sammy" starts playing, as time slows and he stares at her flat chest, he envisions skipping through a field with her, then picnic, as she turns to pick a flower he puts a rufie in her drink, she passes out and he mounts her screaming "Take it!" the whole time this fantasy is playing out Dick is doing his initial interview.
Dick-"I'll repeat myself, what was your drug of choice?"
Tim-Still hazy from fantasy "Love..."
Dick-"Well it says here ruphynol, respect, that's a hard drug to do. Follow me."
End Scene

BJ, Seth, and Tim are all in the living rooom, Tim is staring at Seth and BJ withdrawing, BJ has a bucket on his lap which he continuously pukes into. Seth sweating severely to the point where his hair and clothes are soaking wet, shaking uncontrollably and muttering over and over "I want to die, kill me, etc" Tim has a shocked expression on his face staring at them.
Tim-"Man, you guys are fucking losers, I don't even have a drug problem. I told the judge I was using the roofies myself so they wouldn't realize I was using them on little girls." BJ stops puking. BJ and Seth look at Tim disgusted with the sight of him.
Seth-"Dude..."
BJ-"What the fuck?"
Tim-"That's right, this is a pedophile telling you two that you're fucked up."
Seth-"So..."
BJ-"You seriously fuck little girls?!"
Tim-"No. I rape them."
BJ starts puking again.
At this point Dick walks in holding three sheets of papers.
Dick-"Alright, since you guys are new to this recovery thing I feel it's my duty to inform you how it works, respect, you gotta get a sponsor. And the only way to get a sponsor, respect, is by going to meetings. So these sheets are my way of knowing that you're going, all three of you will be going to at least one a day, you get these signed at each meeting and I'll be checking them to make sure, respect. So I better see you at the 8 o'clock meeting tonight."
BJ-"I don't think me and Seth are really in the best shape right now to be going out..."
Dick-"See, this is the lack of respect I keep seeing in you kids goddammit! Back in prison we learned respect real fast. You know how?!"
Tim-"By raping each other?"
Seth and BJ-"What the fuck?"
Dick walks over and punches Tim. "That's how motherfucker!" Tim blacks out, then Dick walks out.
End Scene

Well there's not enough room for the full script so if you're an animator or voice actor and you're interested in the project and wanna help out send me a pm. Thanks for reading!

At 2/18/13 07:57 PM, Jasonpick wrote: I'm a writer seeking a team of writers to help me with my animated series, Snowflake.
I'm really looking for comedy writers.

got a basic outline so i know what i'd be getting into?

At 6/27/12 08:09 PM, Deathcon7 wrote: Some of them can be pretty hilarious. Like any creative endeavor, however, you win some you lose some. Newgrounds actually hosts some of their animated stuff. A lot of that is pretty funny.

;) :P

they have flash cartoons too? huh all i found were the comics. i might have to check them out again as i just found out some of the guys from tomorrows nobodies helped make that site.

At 6/23/12 01:47 PM, Deathcon7 wrote:

At 6/23/12 05:08 AM, brettismann wrote: i don't know about inhuman though they are based in sociopathic assholes type of characters and yes very campy since i made these scripts when i was 6 or 7.

No offense, but when I was 6 or 7 I wasn't writing about sociopaths, weed, and bestiality. I have to call bullshit on this.

i'll probably post a real script on here later though i only post scripts i don't care about and will never do anything with...

Then why post if you don't care? Honestly, you're just wasting space at that point as any critique you receive is going to be rebuffed with "idk bro i was 6 or 7 lul".

...because the scripts i'm working on right now i actually am in the process of pitching them to comedy central, hbo, and adult swim, and i don't want anyone on here stealing them.

First, your credibility is shot, so again I call B.S. Second, if this were actually true, I would imagine you'd comport yourself a bit more professionally. Third, if you really were pitching this idea, you wouldn't be advertising as much, because you'd actually be working on the pitch. You don't just walk into an office and say, "here's an idea..." You have to have a pilot, you have to have a plan, and you have to have a pitch. If spending your time on NG is more important than working on those things, then you're probably not going to get picked up.

also what is cyanide and happiness?

Again I call B.S. If you don't know what C&H is, you've never been on the internet.

If you're serious about this stuff, insofar as you would like to do it professionally or as a hobby, you really need to be honest with yourself. If someone says something you've written is terrible, instead of making excuses, diagnose the issue. Don't take it as dashing your hopes, because anyone can learn to do this stuff, and do it well.

Good luck.

damn you got really upset. alright well yes i was writing about this when i was in first or second grade. my mom was a crack addict so i knew more than most kids did at the time. it seems you you didn't have as weird of a childhood as i had or you probably would have written more about this kind of strange. again i won't discuss anything about the show i'm in the process of pitching just cause i've had scripts stolen from me before and i won't let anything i care about be taken from me again. you also don't seem to know a whole lot about the pitching process, first you come with the script, then you whore yourself out until they agree to give you money for a pilot, then you make them the pilot within the time they give you, then you show them the pilot and continue to whore yourself out until you get that contract or get kicked out and try it all over again with a different company. i just checked out cyanide and happiness today, and i get that people are saying these scripts are as mediocre as that site. that's a pretty odd reference for people to make though, can't really see that as being a big thing, but then again i'm not online a whole lot now a days.

At 6/23/12 05:55 PM, mhzinski wrote:

At 6/23/12 05:08 AM, brettismann wrote: i don't know about inhuman though they are based in sociopathic assholes type of characters and yes very campy since i made these scripts when i was 6 or 7. i'll probably post a real script on here later though i only post scripts i don't care about and will never do anything with because the scripts i'm working on right now i actually am in the process of pitching them to comedy central, hbo, and adult swim, and i don't want anyone on here stealing them. also what is cyanide and happiness?:

Good I hope this is all true and you've been saving a story either:

a.) written on a windows 98 machine and saved for the future
b.) written on a physical medium and saved through middle and high school into college before you decided to share it
c.) kept as a memory and you finally think it's amusing now

While simultaneously creating works that are setting the standard for modern comedy, we just aren't worthy to receive it, or receive it yet. It doesn't make what you posted not suck, and if everything you say is accurate it's even more hilarious that you have such poor judgement.

notepad actually and i've saved every story i've written. i have ocd when it comes to writing so i've always had a keyboard in my hand as soon as i went to school. also this site is for fun. there is nothing professional on this site and if you do think there is professional stuff on here other than pictures of art i'd really like to see it. i will not put anything that i am currently working on and actually trying to get paid for (more then 15 bucks from online ad revenue) on this site ever.
after browsing this site's content i thought one of these two scripts would be perfect for the type of people who go on here. but hey everyone makes the mistake of saying what the hell every now and then.

At 6/17/12 10:59 PM, mhzinski wrote: These are great in the ironic "this is so unfunny people might laugh at it way". Aside from camp value though it really is terrible. It sounds like a 12 year old has been watching Cyanide and Happiness shorts and South Park for seven hours straight and decided to write these.

The scenarios you present aren't particularly new or interesting and the characters you create are cliche and particularly inhumane. It's not even good lowbrow humor because nothing is especially offensive or taboo.

i don't know about inhuman though they are based in sociopathic assholes type of characters and yes very campy since i made these scripts when i was 6 or 7. i'll probably post a real script on here later though i only post scripts i don't care about and will never do anything with because the scripts i'm working on right now i actually am in the process of pitching them to comedy central, hbo, and adult swim, and i don't want anyone on here stealing them. also what is cyanide and happiness?

Title: Knowledge is... wtf?

Characters:
Brett
Felix
White Dick
Brown Dick

Story:
Scene starts with bong smoke clouding the camera then as smoke clears it shows two friends smoking out of a bong.

B:woh dude this is probably the chronicest shit your dealer has ever given us man
F:yeah this is really sticky shit.
B:bro im am ridiculously blown right now.
F:me too. wait what were we talking about?
B:uhhh I uhm I dont know. Hey dude my pants feel kind of funny. What the hell.
Guy reaches in his pants to scratch his crotch and starts to get a panicked face.
B:DUDE WHERES MY DICK!
F:what? Wait what are you fucken retarded dude look in your pants you dipshit.
Guy pulls down pants to reveal nothing is there.
F:HOLY SHIT WHERES YOUR DICK
B:DAMMIT HELP ME FIND WHITEY. ITS GOTTA BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
F:dude im never smoking with you again
Both guys start lookin around for mans dick and they find there way to the kitchen where they find a blender with a dick in it.
B:HOLY SHIT ITS MY DICK AND ITS IN A BLENDER.
F:WHAT THE?
B:PLEASE DICK DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE YET TO DO.
W:tell the hand that this is all his fault.
Dick somehow starts the blender without even turning on the machine.
B:FUCK NOOOOOOOOOO
F:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA
All of a sudden other man realizes he has lost his dick
F:OH SHIT WHERE IS IT.
Man looks up at microwave where he spots his dick
F:SERGEANT STIFFY NOOOOOOO
Microwave starts and his dick explodes
Scene ends with both guys still on their couch high out of there minds.

Title: Soggy Cereal

Characters
Brett
Felix
God
Goat
Drunk Driver

Story:
B:[rings doorbell]
F:[opens door] hello? What are you doing here?
B:felix I've got some bad news.(in serious voice)
F:what?
B:I went to the doctor the other day and he told me something that might make you want to kill yourself.
F:okay so what is it?
B:I warn you that this might be hard to take.
F:what the fuck is it? (all pissed off)
B:I have aids...(in pussy voice)
F:what? (pauses and looks disgusted)
B:you might want to get yourself checked.
F:haha how did you get aids you stupid... wait what
B:you might want to get checked for aids.
F:why I don't have aids all the chicks I fucked were std free. (in cocky voice)
B:yeaaaahhh well one morning when you slept over I decided to jerk off in your cereal and I watched you eat it.
F:WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY! (super pissed)
B:yeah I thought you'd be pissed. You should just kill yourself.
F:MY LIFE IS OVER. (scream while running into oncoming traffic)
B:stupid asshole I have cancer not aids.
God:yey child
B:who the fuck
God:im the creator of all that is
B:your sean connery?
God:no im the one you call god
B:okaaaay uh yeah I don't know what your smoking but I swear I don't have money on me man
God:I don't want your money I want your soul
B:I don't have one of those
God:I created all my children with essence
B:your not my dad now FUCK OFF
God:oi now you done it
B:what are you doing
God:I have something to show you (unzips skin and evil goat pops out)
B:noooooooooooo
Goat:now come here bitch
B:I hate goats (yells)

Fades to black while goat on man rape takes place. Fades back into focus on Brett and Felix sitting in director chairs.

F:Well I hope this sketch has taught you something today
B:It sure has felix. God is an evil goat who wants to rape you
F:That's right so remember kids.
B&F:Don't go to church unless you want a goat to rape you.

well i just need to get a cord on friday and then i can go back to doing voice acting. i can pretty much morph my voice into a couple of different voices. the last video i was in on here was deleted by the author so the only place you can go to get a feel for my voice is either brettmann or mentallyunstablefilms on youtube.

alright so i'm really tired of having to go around this and other sites just to try to get some cartoons done. so i wanna start a crew of animators, voice actors, artists, and musicians that can help each other out with projects and advertise a little bit for everyone in the crews newest work. i myself am a writer, voice actor, and musician but it's insanely difficult to get anything going on here without an artist and animator. i am certain if you're reading this you have also had problems with getting your creative projects off the ground. so i welcome anyone to join up with whatever we decide to name this crew. all that i ask is you say what it is that you do (if multiple things be sure to name what you feel your strong point is). let's make a crew that dominates this site.
cheers
Brett

i'm interested, unfortunately the video i just did some voices in was taken down by the animator so i guess i don't have a demo at this moment in time. also if it needs to be done quickly i can't do it as i'm waiting on a better mic to be sent to me from a friend. i should have it by the end of the week. the only reason i'm not using the mic i have right now is complete shit.

i'll help out with writing and any va work needed. and i guess if music is needed to i can do some guitar tracks.

first of it's promising not promacing. second why not just have people send in audio clips auditioning for the part instead of having to tell you why they deserve the part.

it doesn't look like this is going to get off the ground but hey i'll do voice acting for whatever parts you need done. unfortunately the video i just va'd for was deleted but i'll just use the review of it be my demo i guess.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/562274just message me what you need done if you don't already have a bunch of voice actors.

sure i'll give it a shot. message me with the details and what part you want me to play. i'm a man by the way so i don't know if i can do the little girl's voice in a convincing way.

i'll do whatever parts you still have open. just message me and let me know what you want me to say and how you want me to say it. i would send you the link to a video i just did but it was just taken off the site a couple hours ago. people didn't like the animation but i guess you can look up the feedback for the voice work.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/562274the quote the guys talking about in the review is of the 2 characters i did (lord everlaign, and a british peasant)
if you don't need me please send me the link of the final product when it comes out as i'm interested to see how this turns out.

i'll help out. i just did some voice work for a series called Lord Everlaign but it was taken off the site a couple hours ago because people hated the animation.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/562274the reviews for the voice work another va and i did were positive though.

i'll give the tough voiced male a shot.

i'll do voice acting. let me know if you need me.

that didn't look like a promising way to get talented voice actors. im just gonna stay away from this thing.

I'll voice act whoever you need me too.

i'll do voice acting for anything you come up with. this has the potential to be a really good parody.

i do voice acting, music, and writing.

i can do the british accent voice work. i just got done doing a british peasant for another flash and if you want i can send you the audio track so you can determine if you need me or not.

despite people saying this is gonna be shit i'll do the voice acting.

At 4/15/04 08:28 PM, Goatchrist wrote: Welcome to the Metal hell :)

If you are into heavy metal, melodic metal or whatever, this is the club for you. Tell us your favourite bands and/ or songs and join the hell :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c56zBA2f7 dk - the music i make

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx7um8vE8 9U&feature=feedlik - the music i imitate.