Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

You activate an atomic bomb and blow up Cambodia. Nice job.

Get a life.

At 3/26/08 02:26 PM, MegamanZero360 wrote

Hey caslte crashing the beird has FAB as the TOP LEVEL.P.S They didnt even have dark as a level

Castle. Beard. >:O

Tee hee.

At 3/26/08 02:23 PM, RedCoin wrote: Get in the car.

Where's my candy?

At 3/26/08 02:21 PM, MegamanZero360 wrote: Lol your fucking werid...AND WTF IM THE ONLY ONE WHO SUPPOSED TO HAVE A FAB SIG!

Only fabbots would make a fuss like that.

I can't wait to spam those dumbass evangelists

Earn the money and send it back in.

Here you are good sir.

I wrote a new "story". Read it on my userpage. Also, I don't know what it is, or how it happened. Would appreciate some comments on it.

School is for keeping children in a selective place with adult supervision so the children break anything or develop thought.

I'm scary enough as it is.

I gave someone the finger in first grade and they put me with the girls. Not kidding.

At 3/13/08 04:56 PM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 3/13/08 04:38 PM, Spootnik wrote: Which group of people had it the worst in the past? I think it comes down to the Africans, the Jews, or the Indians.

Don't forget the Jumpers, before they were completely vaporized by the paladins, millions of them.
It's not a wellknown part of history :P

I would think not, considering its fictional.

Russia. Don't ask.

And new members, if you want to be in the Collab, then click on collab. Or don't if you don't want to. I really am indifferent.

Here's a few emoticons.
>:O Angry Face
:b Dunce
+;) Nurse
W:O Packer Fan
S:) Nice hair
l:( Unhappy and confused
Q:) Comb in Fro
F:(...Zombie w/ Hatchet in Head
-_- Sleeping
X0~~~~ Vomiting
LOL:) lol hat
(:*( Crying

That is all.

New members, please don't be offended by my style of writing, or confused by it. Its not mine. And heres a new story entitled... Untitled Short Story.

Winter comes too quickly. I was just enjoying the warm days of summer. But I really don't like staying out in the cold weather, especially with the zombies even hungrier because of lack of prey. They are pretty damn dumb, but they're still hungrier. Circumstances have forced me to spend winter in a Home Depot. First, I had to get some of the zombies out of there; driving a bleeding deer around the parking lot and out works pretty well. I crouched on top of this portapotty, which I had cut a small window in. It's pretty funny when they try to kill each other. This one will start biting this one that doesn't have a left side of his torso, and eventually they're just on the ground rolling in blood. Real damn stupid. A large crowd of them huddled around my car. An old, crusty truck, it was a pain in the ass to drive. One time a bunch of zombies were chasing me, don't ask me how they figured out how to run, and the car started to smoke. I drove all the way to a 7 Eleven, and I jumped out the window, after I smashed it open, the button ceased to function. The car kept flying on the straight path until it hit the wall of Portillos.
The driver's side was totaled. I just drive without it now. I ran into the 7 Eleven, and having left my tools in the car, and took out the bottles of wine they had in storage. First dummy in, smash. He's on the floor, glass making plenty of red fluid spray out from his distorted face. The rest were felled by a succession of wine and beer bottles exploding into their body parts. I laughed when I heard them slurping up the beer from the ground.
Anyway, I'm relived that the car is gonna be gone. Maybe in spring I can go to that Ford dealer near the Home Depot. Get myself a nicer truck.
In the portapotty, I am much safer. I fortified the outside so the zombies can't just eat their way to me. I cleaned out the toilet part and stored a few good guns in there. My favorite is the shotgun. The zombies always make a satisfying splatter when I shoot them with it. I save it for when situations get real hairy. I can fit about seven guns in that toilet. I put in mostly powerful ones so when I'm backed up by a big mob of the dummies, I can fire at them through the little window and keep them at a safe distance. Occasionally I throw a grenade at them. I keep grenades in the little side pocket of the toilet, for when you don't have to take a shit, just pee. Got about twenty max storage. But they get real stupid when I throw them grenades. They either sit there and look at the thing all stupid, or they try to eat it. Then it explodes in their mouth. I laughed so hard I almost forgot about the guy who was right at the window, sticking his arm through it. I gave him a nice headshot, shut him up.
I snuck around them big crowd of zombies, and stood up on this tall Chevy, and shot at them a few times. Zombies try to eat each other occasionally. So a real frenzy came up once a shot them four times. They was punching and biting each other, and I got into the Home Depot really easy because all the zombies I hadn't lured out came over to see what the commotion was about. Shooting them is so easy; all they do is stand around or move slow. I decided they'd had enough.

I collected a few Gatorades in my backpack, and a cutting knife, hacksaws; best of all, a chainsaw. I wanted to test this thing out on one of those dummies. But I had to make myself a fort on the top shelves. I proceeded to climb up them. Took me about twelve minutes, what with being bogged down all that stuff in my backpack. Grunts sounded from below me. Looks like the dummies are just walking right by without the shadow of a doubt that they might get smashed by a falling box. After I took a sight at the zombies, I sighed, as I gently leaned my body on a kitchen sink, and the poor guy's not there any more. Just a puddle of red fluid. Too bad. The other zombies run pretty quick after they saw the dude's eyeballs pop out. I jumped down onto the box to check him out. Believe it or not, this zombie was still breathing. The neck was still attached to the body, and his head was sticking out from under the box. I got out my hacksaw and cut it off nice and slow. He coughed up a bunch of blood, but after I was through with cutting him, he didn't cough at all.

I've changed. I only kill now. This world full of zombies, I need to find someone. Someone alive. The only thing I do each day is kill zombies. There is no point for me to live anymore. I should just shoot myself, or strap some dynamite to me and blow up. I can't keep going. Eventually I'm going to get old and they will catch up. Need to beat them to it. Beat them to the punch.

The next day I got on one of the lawnmowers and drove through a couple of dummies. Then I saw a big crowd in the distance. This was the chance. I slammed on the pedal and went flying into them, and then I hit the...

Scalpel. Where am I? More pills. Uhhh...

I was wheeled in to a big office. A speaker was barking at me for incompetence or something like that. I wasn't supposed to be committing to these sorts of thoughts; I was supposed to be training, not thinking. I felt like I was a ghost. I couldn't feel anything. I was training for war, I wasn't...I wasn't supposed to be emotional. I shouldn't have been laughing at those zombies; I was supposed to kill all of them, every single one. All of them. Kill them all. But I didn't. I was going to be rebuilt, so I could be what they wanted me to become. A...

Also posting on user page. Read.

At 3/10/08 10:00 PM, All-American-Badass wrote:

At 3/10/08 09:57 PM, NeillS wrote: Damn cats these days. I wonder if its from the toilet water he was drinking.

cat's don't drink toilet water silly

I thought that was dogs. What the hell is wrong with this world?

He looks fine to me.

At 3/10/08 09:54 PM, subpar wrote: McDonald's commercials have always disgusted me.

Yeah, I couldn't stand Mcdonalds after Supersize Me.

Cheers!

Doubtful.

I think I might have figured out what kind of writer I am. Minus the aliens telling me what to write.
Eh?

At 3/5/08 12:36 PM, citricsquid wrote: I collect receipts, penny's and plants.
Am i a nerd?

Only if they are diffrent colors.

At 3/5/08 12:26 PM, Paradox wrote:

At 3/5/08 12:25 PM, blamninja1 wrote:

At 3/5/08 12:24 PM, Paradox wrote: Attention Whores: Oh hi, I'm Mechabloby, how are you?

Minus "how are you" and add "but you already knew that."

But gay people ask how other people are, so I added it for effect.

I see. Also, I'd add a "I'm taking over Newgrounds" and a " >:O<----8" Sorry for the bad penis.

At 3/5/08 12:24 PM, Paradox wrote: Attention Whores: Oh hi, I'm Mechabloby, how are you?

Minus "how are you" and add "but you already knew that."

Hello again favorite club. I've been in seclusion for awhile writing and hiding away from the authorities, due to some of my more heretical works. So anybody who is devoutly Christian, do not read anything below this sentence.

Punishment

Thundering hooves, wild, deafening screeches. The druids came at full speed. No fear. Just noise. Thought abandoned. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Slice. Rip. Gut. Punch. Axe. Sword. Spear. And then, thought came back. Ohh, blood, bloody limbs, get out, out, survive, horror, fear, druid coming quick, kill, he got you, roll over, get away. Kill this one. No, pain, pain, pain, pain, can't take, death, death, please, I wanna die. Kill. Too much, blood all over, help him. Help him, too late. Kill. Aagggh, pain, pain, wanna die, wanna die. The druids all dead, blood, blood, the battle is wo....

Wake up. Confirm location. Bed. Get up. Get up. Good. Clothes. Food. Consume. Go to basement. Take out weapons. AA12.6.5 Grendel. Grenades. Into briefcase. Go to main floor. Outside. To taxi. Pay. What a peaceful little city. The buildings serene. The people gliding destination to destination. Eventually, they too would die. Why did they live? They would all be killed by the Administration. Get out. Into hotel. Room. Room 145. Elevator. I hate the Body. I'm trapped, but there is no way out. The Administration, hated them too, no use. Need to get out of the Body. Go to room. Open. Window. Target sighted.

Quietly. Get out quietly. Shit. Hide here. They passed. Move. Taxi. Get out. Drive. Dodge. Dodge. Grenade. Everything moves in slow motion. But I'm much faster. If I want to be. Shoot him. Kill. The flames are approaching behind. Drive faster. Jump out.

You were told specifically to get in and out without civilian casualties. Keep quiet. Twenty nine. Keep quiet. This cannot continue, the police will catch you and we'll all be exposed because of your recklessness. Keep quiet. Don't try to hide from us, Smith. Don't try to hide when we know everything you do, say, think. Keep quiet. Would you rather still be dead, Smith? On that battleground again, Smith? Fighting Britons till you're dead, only to become dead once again? Keep quiet. Or the Cell. No, no, no, you can be persuaded, no, to become part, no, of the Administration, no, no, or we can. NO! You are dismissed.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. In. Out.

Open fridge. Bread. Close. TV. My mind can escape when I watch TV. My recreation hours are five to three in the morning. They thought they had persuaded me to abandon my mind and only do my profession. They were wrong. I have made plans to escape from them, and destroy them in the same instant. This will be difficult, due to the lack of materials and of the leverage to do so. I must arm myself with explosives that are smaller than a pack of quarters and that can affect an area of a square mile. News is on. Administration conquers more. Good. Good. Good. Change channel. But the Administration can see all that I do and say, thus I cannot buy any bombs in the open or they will throw me in the Cell. Don't think of it. Oh, aggh, STOP IT, I'LL, AGGH, I'LL BE A GOOD BOY! UGGH, I'LL BE A GOOD BOY, I SWEAR TO GOD! GOD, HELP ME! GET THEM AWAY! GOD HELP! GOD HELP! I WON'T STEAL THE COOKIES, I SWEAR! I WON'T SAY ANY MORE BAD THINGS! UGGH, GET THAT AWAY FROM ME! NOOOOOOOOOO! NO, NO, UGGH, STOP THEM, GOD! I remember the Cell. I don't want to be in it again. My stomach is unable to process anything but bread. Anything else and I regurgitate blood. The Administration trains me to do this. Soon, I won't eat anything at all. I must destroy them. My range of emotions is decreasing at every moment, as is my ability to utilize them. I cannot smile. I cannot laugh. I cannot be a human being. Then I won't be able to think. Or speak normally. It will come to a point where I won't be able to move any of my limbs. I have to kill them all first. So I can live. This must be Hell. I read a book once. It said that Hell is a state of being, not a place. This must be Hell. I am right. I am right. Sleep will be impossible as well once I am trained to do so. I can only sleep for two hours, from three to five. Then I can express emotions in my "dreams", and be free and eat regularly and say what I want. I don't think about killing in my dreams, or the Administration, or the Cell, or Hell. I only think about God. Go to sleep.

The field stretches for miles. The sun is bright here. I am happy. I can smile. There He is, smiling too. Everything is going to be alright. We'll hug and forget about all the bad times. Look at the clouds. They're so beautiful. I can smile as much as I like. He is smiling too. But there is still doubt.

Wake up. Confirm location. Ground. Get up quickly. Who is he? You know who I am. No. I don't. You don't need to know, anyway. Weapon. I made sure you were unarmed, since you're a mad fellow. Besides, you're on my side. I'm on my own side. Bullshit, Smith. I'm always on you're side. In thirteen minutes, we'll be attacking the Administration. What? You've already committed plenty of treason, and I know what you think, so how bout you just get it finished with. Come with me.

Down the pipes we go. Alright, here's that bomb you always wanted. Wait. Hide, shii... Worker Smith, you are under the eyes of the Administration. Do not move, Workers Grant and Craig have targeted your head. We are sending them to collect you.

Smith. You're God. Yes, and you have committed crimes against me. I did not intend to have them be crimes against you, God. Yes you did. In your dream, you had doubt. Doubt is not acceptable. You know that. No I don't. You've been trained to be a good boy. And now you have done something very bad, Smith, which cannot be undone, so I'm going to have to put you in the Cell. You don't have to, God. Yes I do. You must give me the other cheek. Do you think Hell lets crimes go unpunished? I'm in Hell. You were right, Smith. But that doesn't count for anything. Do you know what the punishment is, Smith? What?

I can smile. I can laugh. I can live. This is the punishment. This is life.

Some quotes I made:
Vegetables and school are the wrath of God.
To err is divine, thus is Creation.
The Bible is an intended pun.
There are two places on Earth that I can sit around, do nothing, and be thought a good person for doing so; jury duty and church.
He who has a wandering eye is the first to be slapped, and on rare occasions, the first to lose his virginity.
The polls are in; our current President is less popular than Satan.
Atheists rejoice, the evangelists are misinformed.
Heaven is an incentive for people who do a lousy job at life, and sending people to hell is a perk for God.
Time is the worst invention of Man, next to God and alarm clocks.
School was created to keep children in a place for most of the day, so they don't destroy anything or develop thought processes.
God wants a raise; however, he doesn't have a boss, like our President, and we know how well our President is doing without a boss.
God's been on strike.
School is a diversion, distraction, disruption, of your own life, in which you can choose who you want to be, and school tries to make you a fast food worker.
Laughing is the only joyous expression I know of that is illegal in some parts of this country.

I don't have enough room for the rest so I'll post it on my userpage. Also, does anyone here think that Paper Cut is a good pen name?

a writer

She's a pshychotic. Never would I fuck a psychotic.

At 2/21/08 06:47 PM, MeatMachine wrote: Are you allergic to grammer, by any chance?

I thought you were talking to me.