2 Forum Posts by "Bienenstock"
Megaman Legends or Suikoden.
So, it's a scare you want? Why don't you just hire a Scare? A Scare is the ultimate form of entertainment, unfortunately lost to modern thrills like roller coasters, iced creams, cunnilingus, and those weird handheld toys with the magnetic wheel that loops around two metal rods.
It used to be that when a man wanted to impress his date he'd hire a Scare. He'd walk a lady home after a sock hop and as she opened her door and began saying goodnight the Scare would pop out of the hedges with a frightful "Boo!" After this, the Scare would see them inside and lead them to the bed.They'd get in and he'd tickle their feet with a long ostrich feather while they cackled away. Then he'd push nails into the soft spots of his face and spin around with a can of gasoline. The couple would cheer as the Scare threw a lit match at the bed and slowly returned to his grounds.
It used to be when a kid just wanted to be a kid you'd hire a Scare. Say your boy got all As on his lil' report card. A scare would ask him if he believed in heaven. When the boy said yes, the Scare would send him there. Heaven being the greatest reward.
Forgot your anniversary? Hire a Scare. Cat not using the litter box? Hire a scare. Hired a Scare by mistake? Hire a Scare.
Just go to any graveyard and open a jar of fireflies. They will light the way. Good scaring.

