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The worst part is not you being a slut. If this has been the impression remaining in your thoughts, I'm terribly sorry in each and every single way. Because, at least as far as I see it, being into something different is more of a fulfillment than any of my mid-20 anecdotes could offer; so who am I to judge? In fact, I dearly encourage to improve your slut skills to an yet unknown level, hopefully toping in being a truly remarkable and admirable member of our society. I do totally mean it; no sarcasm involved, no strings attached, no harm intended.

Mind if I have a smoke here? ...Thank you. Where was I? I guess there just has to be something shady about being a slut, just because male sexuality kinda works that way. It always has to be something out of the ordinary, out of legal boundaries, but of course nothing to risky. Family issues, la-di-dah. Reasonably, there's nothing actually shady about sluts, at least nothing - like, originating, you know what I'm getting at, don't you? It's what you make it.

Coming to think of it, slut isn't even a harsh word anyway. Like, say it three times in a row. Slut, slut, slut. Now repeat, but do it a tad bit faster. Slutslutslut. See? Actually, it's quite a fun word to use. It has a certain ring to it, which makes you want to repeat it all over again. It's not something boring like a CEO or an admiral, just a straight basic as said on the tin slut. I'd feel comfortable with that, even rather enjoy myself thinking that all the kids on a school bus passing by would know my profession, just because I'm so indisputably good at it. At any rate, best of luck on your upcoming path.

And if you kept yourself asking: Worst part is you're a mutt.

This is important, like big time important:
Big time like taking my time on the doorstep,
Checking my words for further endorsement -
We're talking Shakespearian drama proportions.

It's more than my girlfriend becoming my wife
More than to like, but dunno if you might;
It's plain logic, in its most fuzzy style -
Zoom, buzzing out, take a nap for a while.

Well, it's always been logical beforehand:
The birds, the bees, their special performance -
Nothing short of any part of a romance.
Catching back wits for another to-forward.

In ten years from now when I'm growing a beard
It might still seem weird how I acted up here
But it will have been true and in no way severed
My wife and myself in our loving career.

Sadly, I won't have the time to give you a detailed review on your pilot script there. But I'd like to let you know that you're on to a very, very good idea, at least for a short novel it may work out perfectly. As far as I can tell by these lines, dialogue seems to be your definite strength. I like the characters straight and kind of unsophisticated way of speech in such a bizarre atmosphere. You should totally keep this up.

At 1/15/14 09:09 PM, fearthepiff wrote: Dude, that was pretty cool. I'm not that great at reviewing poetry, so sorry if you wanted an expert's standpoint, but this was really cool.

I'm not really looking for expert's opinion on these, because I'm well aware it doesn't meet the higher standards.
Thanks for letting me know you've enjoyed it, that's pretty much all I really cared about.

An upcoming voice actor even did a night-time reading of these lines; everyone is very much invited to check that out aswell, as he did a really neat job on that: Reading of "Draw Me In" by OldManCricky on NewGrounds

Draw me in your sketching books beside the Masterdome
For it is very likely I won't be returning home.
So if and only if you feel a common sense of agony
Draw me in your sketching books and squeeze me in your diary.

Draw me in a checkers match in London or Moscow,
For it is quite unlikely we shall meet again somehow.
So if and only if you wish to keep my spirits up til then
Draw me in a checkers match on Red Square or in Wimbledon.

Draw me in your fantasies like no one else before,
For they are very hazy and the clearing got me bored.
So if and only if you love to spend another day with me
Draw me in your fantasy and don't draw out the poetry...

:would you be interested by writing a romance mod with another teacher ?
:the goal for the player would be to successfully "first kiss" a colleague.
:there should be many steps such as romantic datings before.

Sure thing. I guess there should be four colleagues planned to be involved in the standard version, because of the four lessons given. I'd like to have a (slightly) different plot line for each of them. This will take some effort, but I guess it will turn about very neat. I'll keep you posted on that.

"After several hard years of studying you've applied for a job as a trainee teacher at Hent High School, one of the most famous and best high schools all across the country. You seem to have made a great impression during your job interview, as the headmaster gladly offers you a chance to prove yourself.

For the next 69 days of your traineeship, you have to make sure that the trust put in you was worth it. But as it turns out, the theories you've learned from your books have nothing in common with the weird events of the daily life at Hent High..."

This would be a take on how a given frame of days would actually make sense.
Also, this would make the character someone in the mid 20s, leaving room for younger and older... targets.

I want the next version to be limited in time (maybe 60 days or less) then you get a good/bad ending.
That way there will be a real challenge.

I guess "Good or Bad" Ending doesn't really apply here, since there are - as i can see - three factors you want to include:
* Scoring with pupils [Quality as a teacher]
* Scoring with other teachers [Quality as a colleague]
* Scoring with the headmaster [Test results]

Only if one of those three scorings gets too bad, it should result in a specific bad ending. Otherwise, the mixture of these stats could result in something unique [Maybe good scorings in two factors result in threesomes or something like that?]. This would require way more balancing than in your first two games, maybe also the decision that you just can't get everything in a single try and forcing a player to his/her decisions. These decisions, on the next level, may definitely include your planed casino and whatever mods - and maybe also just plain scenarios with three possible options, having different impacts on different stats.

Do you happen to know about a game called "Babysitting Cream", based on Sonic characters? It sets the way of gameplay you are looking for and I'm very assured that it's at least inspiring in terms of placing events, etc. ;)

Alright, this might be split up in several parts, so forgive me if I'm not getting on all the points worth mentioning directly.

Title Screen / Intro:
You probably know what people say about the importance of first impressions. With this game, to be frank, I didn't expect all that much judging by the title screen. I'm not a developer, but a short intro to the game should be the least to expect. To be fair, there kind of is a description on the title screen, but it just seems so misplaced and 'bulky' that people most likely don#t even bother reading. Especially in terms of erotic games, you sometimes have to force the story onto someone. However, once a story is well-developed it makes a game like your stand out of the whole bunch of mediocre and kinda brain dead animated loops.

If you can#t find an artist providing a set of fitting pictures [A manga thing seems to be most appropriate for that], it does not necessarily have to be something special. Just make people click more often before they start of. There is no need to throw someone into a game by a single click, nobody is that impatient. ;)

Story block:
Concerning grammar, the only issue seems to be conjugation, for example "Your desire forces you...". Otherwise it seems fine. You may of course make a story like this way more "vivid" and exciting by having a different choice of words, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

Your story is quite simple which is fine, but has lots of room to be extended. Think about it: Randomly turning into a futa. How does that even work? Isn't that a bizarre, but also quite funny thing to happen? The character herself could at least make something like a statement on that, or even better: Show emotions and reasoning. Did she already know about this thing happening to her? Then why would she try to become a teacher especially at this school? Could that be something like a cowgirl-thing, "shooting down" as many girls and guys as possible? Doesn't that make her somebody evil? Or is she more of a victim, not really knowing what's happening to her and somehow feeling sorry for the things she plainly HAS TO do. These could be ways to give the story the content it's currently lacking.

Those would be the first bits, I'm going to write something more about that in the upcoming days.

Regards to everyone involved yet,
Beakaboo

I'm giving a more detailed review on the game's writing in the next couple of days may stick around on developing a basic storyline, once your ideas on the game's general mood gets more elaborate.

Haven't written anything used in games before, but usually the only thing which never lacks while developing a game is a set of ideas. So I'll gladly throw mine in, if you'd like to.