Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

My best guess is we are all monsters, deep inside our mind. Supposedly we are decended from primates, and those suckers can do really mean stuff. They'll murder, steal, and eat their own children, whatever it takes to make it another day and to see their genes passed on. Survival of the fittest, as they say.

Now, just because we are more evolved doesn't make us any better. At best, we are weaker because we show restraint. And hell, people steal, murder and such. There are sick people out there. And even more stable people out their are decended from the same source. So what does that have to do with tourture flicks?

Simple. We are all a little bit crazy. Also, it is a good excuse to show titties :).

I can't belive no one has thought of this comedian before. He isn't really all that funny, but his humor is more subtle so I can listen to him at night and relax. Though he is really messed up, I respect him all the same.

At 10/27/09 12:38 PM, Siblau wrote: I'm gonna go to that tunnel carrying a large bat, he's gonna get his ass handed to him.

Watch out for his sleeves, he has some tricks up them.

Actually, we are alone for the most part. This is why we fap in the first place.

Well, personally I love paydays. For those who don't know it's like semi-hard peanut butter coated with peanut halves.

What else can I actually say about them but I love peanuts!

Someone is naked in their own home? This is heresy in the highest degree! The inquisition must be notified! The neighborhood must be cleansed! Goverment officials must be exicuted!

Ah, to hell with it, this calls for EXTERMINATUS!

:But seriously guys, something must be done to prevent this from happening. Perhaps breeding programs to eliminate opptunistic scum? Maybe teach children better in schools? I don't know but if nothing is done nothing will improve.

Orsen Wells does not aprove of your animal loving ways.

I got the 19th dig right here for ya.

dig dug dig dug dig and all that.

At 10/15/09 10:39 AM, Gateau wrote: Why is it that the government can now dictate what you can and cannot put into your own body?

Because of religion. They say that the want the curch and state to be seperate, but they still let morals learned from religion influence their thinking.

You know, to garner more votes.

I like to play with small plastic men.

I have been doing this for a few years, and it's only gotten worse.

At 10/13/09 06:21 AM, Falonefal wrote: Fish...
Who wants to have sex with fish?

I think I have an idea of who wants to have sex with a fish.

Well, I want to be freddy kruger dressed as a gangster.

I would have the mask, and the glove, but I would be wearing a pinstripe suit, along with a gangster hat and a fake tommy gun. It would look something like this:

(This is just a lame approimation: the real costume will kick ass)

You know what? I'll just say it.

I think that there should be single player campaigns for each character.

They would take place before the events in TF2, and reveal more about the characters.

They would be seperate from the multiplayer game and cost $50 each, because that is the only way in hell that we would get valve to make them.

At 10/10/09 09:42 AM, Otto wrote: Oh hey, Marge

Here's my reaction to this post.

Why do I keep thinking that the goat represents the American Constitution?

The worst kind of torture that I can think of would having an ant colony living in your skull.

Just a few at first, along with the queen and her egg chamber, but as the colony grows they need more tunnels and space. If you are unlucky, they choose to dig into your skull and dig around in your bone marrow before eating your brain (which will be the case if the queen is inside your brain with the eggs). If you have ever had a bone marrow sample taken from you, you know why this will hurt.

Eventually they'd expand outwards and downwards, eating your muscles, tendons, etc.

...you know, ants really like to explore. So expect them to probe your internal organs. It doesn't matter what; stomachs, kidneys, livers, ovaries and testicals are all possible sources of meat. And if they are moving then they just might be a threat to the colony!

It may seem like overkill and that you'd die from shock, but if the torturers know what they are doing they'd knock you out and then put the queen into your body.

They'd ask for the information when you came to, and when you started asking about the odd pains coming from your skull they'd reply "Oh, we haven't done anything to you yet, it must be all in your head."

At 10/6/09 07:27 AM, DeIirium wrote: Girls like dickheads.

No, girls like guys they find attractive. Most of them happen to be dickheads and stupid; it's apart of what makes them attractive to women.

They want 1. protection and 2. a weak mind. They want a man with a weak mind so it is easier for them to 'change' the man or 'manipulate' the growth of his mind depending on the women.

Women like to change thing, it is apart of their nature. Similar to how men like sex.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I get the feeling that a demon is crawling up my ass and trying to rip my soul out of my chest and out my ass.

This isn't a joke I am serious please help someone...

I can eat a whole box of hamberger helper by my self.

And that's only breakfast!!!

Also, one time I ate a huge slab of ribs ( a full rack), two side dishes and was still hungry.

I had a dream where a queen ant laid eggs in my shoulder, and they hatched and slowly ate away the bone marrow in my skull, then slowly ate my brain. It took a long time and I could actually feel extreme pain which vanished as soon as I opened my eyes.

Creepy.

One time a man dressed in a tutu asked me if I liked gay sex.

When I said no, he got offended and walked away.

It was a few days later that the guy had just came from a gay pride parade

At 8/8/09 08:25 AM, RocketBean wrote:

At 8/8/09 07:41 AM, MrPercie wrote: I think 4chan is getting a new mascot. Pedo cat.

Proper name: Scat Cat.

Proper name: Shota cat.

Derp.

"Bat out of hell", by meatloaf.

Or perhaps "Who wants to live forver" by queen.

Meatlof would make people happy, but Queen would be a more proper and formal send off.

At 9/30/09 08:22 AM, theshadowwolf wrote: Everyone. Protest, now.

You and I both know that won't do shit. Also, boycotting won't help either.

For the last few years, Disney has been like a cancer, growing slowly. Now it has grown so wide and so powerfull that they can do whatever they want. Also, this cancer is inoperatible, because if you tried to shut it down, the economy would take a big hit.

So, everyone prepare your anuses for some shitty movies. By prepare, I mean watch alot of MST3K and get your riffing abilities up to par.

Shit on a shingle.

It is very delicious!

Evidently, it is not a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake...

Uh guys I thought this was newgrounds.

Since when has this become an extension of 4 chan?

Please, just stop this madness.

At 9/29/09 10:37 AM, XxRobJohnsonxX wrote: If you work in an environment where food is produced, cooked, stored and/or transported, a worker vomiting is a HUGE liability. Contaminated food (or even unsanitary conditions near food) can be punishible by law for some big $$$$$ (not to mention anyone else who may get sick from your biohazard will sue for $$$$$$).

This is true, but the company hired this person knowing about his condition. It's their fault they put this person near food in the first place. So, they could be sued for that, or they could re-employ him at a different position, away from food, at a higher wage.

At least, this is what I would do.

It is all situational.

I need details before I will say yes or no and I can be a really picky bastard.

My prefered form of immortality:

1. I cannot die by any means (except what I deem acceptable).
2. There is no such thing as pain; only mild irritation and odd pressure sort of feelings.
3. Nothing causes wounds nor can I be blown/torn apart or in anyway, shape or form lose any part
of my body
4. I can will my self dead and cross over at anytime; I remain my self and am able to wander freely.
5. If for some reason I want to live again, I can will myself back into reality as myself with no problems.
6. I have a huge penis and giantic balls that never get in the way.

I will spare you the other 100 pages, but you get the idea.

How do I yank people's cocks?