Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

So, this is what my friend found while looking up how to print out a marriage license...

Yayyyy Georgia!

But fucking seriously, you can marry your cousin here, but a guy can't marry another guy?

What?

At 3/15/11 10:23 PM, IncendiaryProduction wrote:

At 3/15/11 10:22 PM, AgroNurse wrote: I like my job, I just want to further my education so I can do more with it.

What hospital do you work at?

Lulz, so you guys can email my bosses or some shit? Nowai.

I can tell you that I WANT to work at Brooke Army Medical Center's burn unit, because it's state of the art, and I love San Antionio.

I like my job, I just want to further my education so I can do more with it.

At 3/15/11 08:58 PM, ChrisLovejoy wrote: draw me a t-rex high fiving a dog.

Please draw this

At 3/15/11 12:56 PM, BanglaBoy96 wrote:

At 3/15/11 08:14 AM, Alchemist94 wrote: I'm living with my grandparents after getting kicked out of my old home,

L what happened?

Probably smoking after they told him not to, but OP is such an entitled little cunt that he believes he has the right to foul up homes he does not pay for.

Oh my god! Holy shit!

You found some symptoms on the interwebs, THIS MUST APPLY TO YOU!!

You prolly also have asberger's, ADHD, and testicular cancer as well!!

Ever since the invention of the interwebs, traditional doctors are obsolete! Now, any tool with an internet connection can easily and confidently diagnose themselves with any number of fun and exciting disorders, all in the comfort of their own home. Year upon years of schooling, no longer needed! Hurayyyyyy internet!

At 3/15/11 11:09 AM, kazumazkan wrote: ok how is nuclear radiation considered safe and why is it that where not helping there should of been fema or the red cross down there already.

Why would you think fema would be there? Lulz, Red Cross has BEEN there.

At 3/15/11 04:16 AM, CatCatCatCatLION wrote: I like how people are talking about this like the fat kid is some purveyor of justice or something. I wonder how people would react if he killed that kid.

Fat kid was much heavier and taller than the bully, I'm sure he could've fucked him up without having to almost crack his skull open.

Apparently he has some sort of disorder, and has been bothered for years about it. That little skinny shit should have known his place, it was his choice to pick on someone much taller and heavier than him.... I don't know how he didn't see it coming.

She might have a form of epilepsy, or she might just be legitimately crazy.

We had a student have a mild seizure in class yesterday- it lasted for about 15 seconds, and then she recovered quietly- most epileptics are a little out of it for a few minutes afterwards.

Ok, HERE'S what I heard from either registered medical people, OR nursing students. Keep in mind that this student has told us before that she has epilepsy.

-"OH GOD! CALL THE AMBULANCE!"
-"CPR! DO CPR! I KNOW CPR!"
-"SHE'S HAVING A STROKE, MY FRIEND HAD A STROKE ONCE!"
-"IS THAT AN EPIPEN??! GIVE HER AN EPIPEN".... An epipen is for severe allergic reactions, but it didn't matter, as this 'epipen' was in fact, a bottle of hand sanitizer I fished out of her purse while looking for her phone.

Solution? I called her parents on her phone to come pick her up.

So yeah. Don't panic like a cow when things happen.

It's their house, you don't have the right to smoke there- so, I'd say man up, and either go smoke while you move into your new apartment, or quit, and live rent free for a year or so.

Yes, I'm well aware that this isn't the advice you want, but you're being a tremendous pussy about taking advantage of your grandparents.

I see your lasercat, and raise you two zombie swampdogs.

A confused elderly lady tried to piss in a pillowcase at work today. After my LOLWTF? reaction, she said:

"HAHA! I got jokes, I only piss in the trashcans though."

She's like 90, but she's funny as shit.

Americans can shut the fuck up about Pearl Harbor. Yes, it sucked, but the victims of this flood had absolutely nothing to do with it.

You should punch these history-challenged bigots in the knee, and then send their paycheck to the organizations who are sending help.

I blocked my friends toilet by flushing a condom my boyfriend and I had just used up....

She was unimpressed, I lol'd.

At 3/12/11 09:46 PM, Andre wrote:

At 3/12/11 09:42 PM, MegamanZero360 wrote: Make dicks.
Lots and lots of dicks.

Quick question...are you a part time homosexual?

No, he's just on NG. Close, but not an exact match.

You had me for a second, suspected stuffings on the first picture, second picture confirmed.

Y u have stuffed fox?

At 3/12/11 05:41 AM, Quicksmasher wrote: Now Maruk is fat.

You'd think with all the box jumping, he'd be thinner....

Update...

Maru is ok! :D

It's the little things...

I At 3/11/11 01:28 PM, IncendiaryProduction wrote:

Sooooo... Do I need to get a concealed firearms permit? Or if it's in plain view can I get around a permit?

Is that a gun in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

BOTH LOLOLOL Oh wow, easily amused over here.

At 3/11/11 01:19 PM, Erty wrote:
Exactly what I'm talking about. We're too much in a hurry to let our own body's immune system to take care of the problem itself so we consume pills and medication instead. It can't be healthy in any way.

I work in the burn unit, therefore, I give out PRN pain meds like no tomorrow, because the hippie bullshit of letting your own body take care of things is in fact, hippie bullshit. I'd expect people undergoing massive surgery to have anxiety issues.

I've always relied on my own immune system and avoiding using medication. I rather have a headache and cough like crazy and let my body take care of it. I'm healthier than most people I know and I think it may have something with how much I trust my body to do it's job.

This is stupid. At least take some cough suppressant so you don't hack your crap all over everyone else, getting them sick as well.

At 3/11/11 01:20 PM, IncendiaryProduction wrote:

A weapon that discharges a missile at high velocity.

So not arms... but cocks count.

HURRAY I LEARNED SOMETHING!

At 3/11/11 12:57 PM, Erty wrote: I blame commercialism. People invent pills for everything and the only way to sell them is if doctors declares everything to be a disease they need to get rid of with these pills.

I'm a pill throwing motherfucker.

"Oh, honey, you're nervous and paranoid about something? Here, have a Xanax."

"Your knees hurt? Well here have 2 Percocet"

Vicodin, Percocets, ANYTHING for anxiety... yeah

No wai... guns are made?

Here I was assuming they grew on bushes in Kansas.

Holy shit.

OP GTFO.

At 3/11/11 12:36 AM, grime-reaper wrote:
I'm 17 and I'm in charge of Coca-Cola's communications/public relations for the Middle East and North Africa. And Yahoo!. And Samsung.

Age matters jack shit.

Somethinnnng tells me we are missing a key piece of this puzzle

At 3/11/11 11:55 AM, gamejunkie wrote:

Right, so what your saying is everyone over 30 is a pedophile. You are an idiot.

So, I lost my puppy... want to come with me in my van to help look for him?

At 3/11/11 10:43 AM, Heyno wrote:
He he, I probably would be a cunt, without diagnosis, but I know I feel the effects of the syndrome within me, in my reactions to other people, I just can't decipher feelings, but feeling blue? For that you deserve drugs, yet high quality hospital centers are being closed. WTF?

Sadly, you are just a cunt, and there's no cure.

Get out.

What the fuck are you talking about.

Do you have a specific diagnosis, or do you just like to hear yourself talk?

Besides, aren't you the one that self diagnosed yourself with autism?

At 3/11/11 10:10 AM, waterlooandcityline wrote:
If you are going to a state school, that's BAD because either way you'll be a peasant in a flat with little to no income, so you're better of having a social life. If you go to a private school, do both. Half school, half fun.

Oh dear.

Sounds like mommy and daddy are paying for this one to go to school.

For the rest of us, who aren't 20+ and still having our parents wipe our asses, a good work ethic is still the way to go.

At 3/11/11 08:01 AM, RubberTrucky wrote:
For example, I tend to want to get a job done more than I want to end it. So if I'm at work and i finish at 6, but I'm busy solving something, I could easily stay till 9, only to realise that it's far later on the day than I had guessed. this fixation on my chores to the point of ignoring everything else is far from what the average person would do.

I don't think that has much to do with Autism, it's just a really good work ethic. I work 7a-7p, but I rarely leave before 830, just because I have loose ends and charting to get finished.

There are reports of it going to Hawaii and the West Coast as well, if it causes major damage, I may be taking a 'vacation' with the Red Cross.