LOL! Like the Matrix! I get it!

EXCEPT THERE WASN'T A TABLE. It was just Morpheus and Neo, across from each other in two posh chairs.

I have no idea what to say...

On one hand, that was almost the funniest thing I've ever seen.

On the other, I'm slightly worried that people actually would do such a thing.

Replace your Radius and Ulna with Titanium rods, and place buttons in your hand, leave slits in your skin (this will require likely lifetime antibiotics, anti-coagulants, and lots of scar tissue)...implant blades or spikes (or both, as you choose), deployed by the button in your hand.

Press the buttons, and fuck the other guy up.

It might work...on Star Trek.

Yeah...

I'm not so sure that works, really. See, I never had the feeling of my dick burning while single (if I had, I would probably go get an STD test)...and when not single, I've never had a girl yelling as her hands are constantly scalded by hot water.

To be honest, I don't think that my girl would ever do that for me...hell, anyone can find a good supply of cock elsewhere, and unless you've got a flagpole for a dick, it's really not special enough to be that attached.

Maybe I'm being too literal...if I try to be less literal, well, let's see...in general, I'm more miserable when not single, because women like to spend money. All of it. Your debit and credit cards dis-afuckin-pear, and when your car note comes up, wellnow, you're fucked. And then they want to talk, and cuddle, which is more like nails being slowly driven through your ears, wrists, and ankles--ask Jesus, that's not a real pleasant feeling, he would know (except the ears part)...single, you pass out wherever the hell you want, when you want, and god help anyone who wakes you. You can't jack a girl in the face when she wakes you up for something like work, or a date, or court date. Well, you can, but most states call that domestic assault, and it's a felony.

At 6/30/08 04:15 AM, dearion wrote: OH MY DARK LORD IT'S TRUE!!!!!!!!! STAMPER CAME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND GAVE ME A SERIOUSLY HARD BUTT POUNDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH DARK LORD MY ASS IS BLEEDING AND THERE IS CUMMING DRIPPING FROM ALL OVER MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah.

You lie like a mug. If you read above, it says 'eye'.

Not ASS. Or BUTT.

Damn attention whore, learn where the caps lock key is, and HIT IT, to turn it off. If you're confused, there's a light on your keyboard, if it's on, Caps Lock is on. Holy shit, how about them apples?

I would think she would have floated to the ground...like Flat Stanley, or a feather.

Maybe that's all she was trying to do?

At 5/23/08 02:30 AM, Michaelas10 wrote:
Link for reference. It's his real voice, by the way.

Holy jesus. Listening to that made me dizzy, though it was amusing.

Glad I don't talk to people like that all day, and if I did, I'd just interrupt them to piss them off.

At 5/23/08 02:28 AM, Mr-Contradiction wrote:

At 5/23/08 02:23 AM, aeternitas wrote: It's actually pretty lame.

Your post certainly was.

Nice comeback. Really. It might be witty enough to make a kindergartener cry.

NEXT!

At 5/23/08 01:36 AM, DJ-Keen wrote: And if you DO decide to drink.. stay away from Bacardi 151...

But it's flammable, slightly. How is THAT not fun when you're three sheets to the wind?

You looked for shared folders, I looked for the high end of the domain so I could poke around the unsecured folders and find a way to wangle myself admin access. Which I did. To the tune of three test accounts the district forgot to disable.

I subsequently went down in history for jacking up the Freshman class' profiles and substituting the desktop image for the default folders/icons on the desktop for a blank background with an error message showing, and adding a little script to the login routine that caused said error message to display on login, which they 'couldn't get to go away' (owing to it being imposed on the desktop background image).

If I wanted to find embarrassing papers, I would stand around the printers. There were plenty. They aren't special, and finding them (especially on a public share) isn't particularly devious. It's actually pretty lame.

What grinds my gears...is when people STEAL CATCHPHRASES FROM GODDAM TV SHOWS.

I mean, are you so stupid that you can't think of something even slightly different, like 'What creaks your cogs?' or something? Eh?

And that's what grinds my gears.

At 5/23/08 01:23 AM, Grub-Xer0 wrote: Why would we want cell phones when we have the internet?

How about a cellphone that can DO the internet?

Like mine. It's-a niiice.

Extremist Christian ideolology at it's best, with a hint of Neo-Nazi, possibly...a small one.

I've no problems with Christians (I, the Agnostic fiance, allowed my daughter be baptized Catholic without complaint), but my god, this is the kind of bullshit that makes the whole lot of 'em look like freaks.

This sort of thing is what gets other religious groups into a frenzy against everyone else; not pointing a finger, nor am I attempting to offend; but too many of these type people out there, in that sort of context, and we're going to be heading back to the Inquisition.

Agnosticism is easy, I just shrug, say 'I dunno', and don't piss anyone off except the Mormons who want to convert me (from what, I have no idea, but...) on the bus.

What the fuck redneck bullshit is this? That, around here, passes as a lame-ass Saturday night (hell, a lame Monday night, even)...try some liquor, or hell, marijuana. Nicotine Happy Time? Fucking amateurs...nicotine headbuzz is nothing more of an experience than cutting off the flow in your Aorta for a few seconds while laying down, then standing up, it's not exciting, it's not even enough to cause these so-called 'rude gestures' that I'm perfectly capable of pulling off while completely sober and calm. Get a damn life.

At 5/14/08 12:14 AM, edgewalker424 wrote:

At 5/13/08 11:51 PM, Guest8792 wrote: $1.27 over here. Saskatoon doesn't seem like a bad place to live now, does it?

I could google Saskatoon, but I'd rather just ask you where the hell that is...

It's in Saskatchewan, which is a province in Canada. See here.

Where I am, it's $3.899/gal for low-grade unleaded, on average (Downstate IL)

At 5/1/08 02:42 AM, Elios wrote: Only 3 portal entries survived yesterday?

I wish someone could explain how this thing works.

Until I read there was an explanation, I was thinking a Sequoia voting machine might have been used here.

Jankety...least that's how I think it's spelled. It also gets shortened to Janky, which just doesn't sound right. It pains me to hear it.

"I'm fairly sure, if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called Bring Back the Porn".

At 4/24/08 03:08 AM, Wuggawoot wrote: Soo, any ideas on how we could make it happen?

Fill out Form WR-CDIH-9642, signed by yourself and two witnesses in quintuplicate, notarized, placed in a sealed envelope, and mail to:

1 Winter Way
Ottawa, ON, Canada, H0H 0H0

At 4/24/08 03:29 AM, aeternitas wrote: Thanks for your name and address, chief.

Oh hell, I'm an idiot, aren't I?

Thanks for your name and address, chief.

At 4/22/08 03:09 AM, JimmyDallas wrote: if fat chicks will let you get in their pants for a cheeseburger and fries, skinny bitches should do the same.

Nah. Sushi. Far fewer calories.

At 4/22/08 03:05 AM, g0t wrote: 1 (586) 489-9188 call only i dont take text messages, it costs too much

Michigan, eh?

At 4/22/08 03:02 AM, unowned wrote:
also, printing sux

Then I guess you're pretty much boned, then, eh?

At 4/22/08 03:01 AM, JimmyDallas wrote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBJQ5085k So

it's a virus for the Mac (mainly the MacBooks) but it's more of a funny virus...

Can't say I have, nawp. Relevance, counselor?

At 4/22/08 01:30 AM, SeizureDog wrote: If you live in the USA at least... I'm bored. 1 (479) 841-8280

Lol.

At 4/22/08 02:56 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote:

At 4/22/08 02:49 AM, aeternitas wrote: Although, the taxpayers would probably prefer you get some fiber in your diet.

What difference does it make? I don't get a constipation allowance.

The longer you shit, the less work you do.

For some reason, this pisses people off...but, if you got business to take care of, well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I never got it, myself.

A doctor couldn't read that. Honestly. If you failed Manuscript Writing in 5th Grade, the answer is clear:

Don't Fucking Use It.

At 4/22/08 01:39 AM, JNeuray wrote:

At 4/22/08 01:35 AM, Dante555 wrote: But really, who is Emily Gregg?

Ask Google.

To which I would respond, 'Or Wikipedia'.

But, alas, no article exists.

Perhaps you should stop wasting OUR time, and waste THEIRS, after the Google search and writing the article, hm?

Zelda and Your Mother.

-Fin.