Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

According to the population of my old school, there were a lot of hot male teachers....
But there was one female History Teacher who was fresh out of training, and she was quite popular with all the lads. She was the only reason that a bunch of guys signed up for the kickboxing club.... Because she was the instructor.

Too bad I'm at university now... I don't have any teachers who are on the cheery side of 60.

I'll keep the reasons behind this fight to myself, but suffice to say that it was justified, and my teachers were all on my side at the time.

So, a guy in my class tried to push me down a stair once, so I took a deep breath, steadied myself and went back to walking down the stairs, so, he pushes again, this time, harder. He was laughing and turning to his buddies, obviously wondering how far he could push me before I snapped.
On the third time he pushed me, I basically screamed like a madman gone berzerk and turned around, and the guy had already legged it. So I ran after him.
I was about 33% bigger than this guy, so he had good reason to keep running, but I eventually caught up with him and landed a punch right in the back of his head that sent him down like a ton of bricks, face-first onto the tarmac. I was about to lay into him when a passing teacher came up and pulled me away. If I remember right, he never really bothered me after that....
That's about the only real "fight story" that I really want you guys to know about.

Peace out!
Ynek

I remember my training.
Breathe. That helps.

To make a bad username, just reference the following:

Naturo.
Any 13375p34k
Professing to be a ruler of all things
Professing to be Satan, or a derivitive thereof
Pointlessly long usernames.
Uneccesary swearing.

So.... 1337NaturoFanBoyRulerOfAllFromHellCozIze SatanMotherFucker1337

Here's some for a waiter:

1) If you ask for hundreds of drinks, be prepared to wait for a while.
2) If you ask for a drinks order, and you can see that there is a queue for the bar, bear in mind that your order will take a while.
3) If you don't see an item you want on the menu, don't get pissed off if I have to go into the kitchen to check that we have it.
4) If you order a really fancy-pants bottle of wine or champaigne, then don't get pissed off that I have to go down to the wine cellar to get it. We can't fit all of them behind the bar.
5) If you want to speak to the manager, signal for him to come over, don't ask me to stop what I'm doing, come over to you and then shout the manager over for you. (You can't miss a manager... they wear suits.)
6) For the last time.... We only have the wines that are on the list. We don't stock different years of different wines.... We don't normally cater for snobby bastards.

And now for Hotel Porters:
1) If I carry your bag all the way up the street from the car park, all the way up all seven flights of stairs, and set it down in your room, the least you could do is say "thank you."
2) If you don't give me your room number when you place a room service order, how the hell am I supposed to know where you are?
3) Room service DOES cost more than the restaurant... There are reasons for that. Such as the fact that I need to get paid.
4) If it's 3am, and you phone about any technical difficulties in your room, don't get pissed off when a porter arrives. ALL THE JANITORS, CLEANERS AND LAUNDRY STAFF HAVE GONE HOME!
5) Never expect me to perform a miracle. I may look like him, but I am not Jesus.
6) If you call a porter up to your room, and you're over 40, then please, for the love of god, put some clothes on.

And finally, a few from being a barman:
1) If you don't tell me where you're sitting, I can't take your drinks to you.
2) If the bar is busy, I can't take your drinks to you.
3) If you are not sitting in the bar, I most definitely won't take your drinks to you.
4) Coming into the bar and placing a drinks order, and then asking me to take it to your room is not a way to get around Room Service charges.
5) No, you may not have a free drink.
6) When you're drunk, you're out the door. I don't make the rules.
7) If you so much as look at me funny, I can have security take you out. So don't think I'm scared of you.
8) If you speak quietly in the middle of a noisy bar, I will not be able to hear you.
9) If you try to come behind the bar, may god have mercy upon your soul.

My point of view always was that Sega spent too much money on new games, and not nearly enough money on R&D for new consoles. *cough* saturn *cough* dreamcast *cough*
Slowly, they fell behind and were eventually crushed by the superior technology of Nintendo and Playstation.

It's not that their games were bad, or their characters were bad.... Just the company executives.

:Before I begin on this epic rant, the laws of the State of Bullshitania obligates me to state the following, in accordance with chapter 4,239,593 of the "people are too dumb to think" law.
I am not a racist. I am not anti-feminine. I am not a gay-hater. I am not anti-semitic. I am not any form of supremicist or Dominist. I simply believe that the system of political correctness is completely one-sided, and that nowadays, people in my position are obligated to completely abandon our history in order to be socially accepted.

A big part of why people aren't allowed to have "white pride" is because whenever someone organises a "white pride" event, the Klu Klux Klan, the Neo-Nazi-Republic or another racist organisation, hops on the bandwagon and sullies it, turning it into a racist rally.
Much in the same way as how the Suffragists, who secured the right to vote for women, were infiltrated by anti-masculine groups, who eventually united, and 'splintered off' to form the "terrorist" organisation known as the 'suffragettes'.
Now I'm more than happy to argue about the Suffragists/suffragettes divide with any PC-loving twats out there. I studied the damn event for three and a half years at school because my History teacher was a feminist...

Anyway, I digress..... Back to the case in point.... "White pride" is also the same as "man-pride" or "heterosexual pride"....

Just because the white, male, non-disabled, heterosexuals were assholes 100 years ago, they assume that the same goes for now.
What they often overlook is that white people were the ones who decided, eventually, to give black people the vote. Men were the ones who, eventually, decided to give women the vote. Heterosexuals eventually made it legal for other people to be homosexual....
They don't see that the modern day white heterosexual male is not the evil-daemon of the past.

These groups (black people, homosexuals and women) often assume that THEY are the only ones in the whole world who have ever been through hardships.... Hell, look at the Jews. THEY have been through harships, and you don't hear them complaining 24/7 about it. You don't see them taking to the streets and marching....
Jewish people started by getting mistreated by the Egyptians, then the romans, then the Christians, then the Germans.... I don't think that even the "oh-so-mistreated" groups of Blacks, women and Homosexuals can even hold a candle to the harships of the Jews.
Another one - The Scots. First they were oppressed by the the Picts, then the Celts, then the Gaels, then the vikings, then we (mercifully) held off the Romans, only to be attaked by the English....
EVERY group of people has gone through hardships...
These people just assume that they've got it bad because, like all human beings, they automatically assume that their problems are greatest.

So, basically, if I want equal rights, I have to have a sex change, or become gay.....

And don't even get me started ranting about Political Correctness. I could rant non-stop until I die about that bullshit.

At 12/14/07 04:23 AM, akoRn wrote: I was detailed done. But something about it that bugs me.. I think the body/pose look a bit .. I dunno.. Something just not right.

But, it was a 4Star work

It does look a bit 'static', but that doesn't stop it being a very nice piece of artwork!
I see that you're another 'traditional' artist, who uses pencil and paper, and little else.
I especially like that you've used coloured pencils.... They really are such an underrated medium, in my opinion.

My first one was an old classic which I'm sure many of you will remember...

Commander Keen... The whole series.
I completed it down to the last detail, even getting into the pyramid of Forbidden... Which in turn turned out to be a near-impossible level to rescue a janitor.

At 12/12/07 07:51 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote: it is a male succubus , Mani the male succubus

behold!

Isn't a male succubus called an 'incubus'?

I studied daemonology for a year at "high school." Fun times....

Eh, can't really say that I've been in this position.... But I think that dispite the hilarity involved, suicide would be overreacting.
Maybe you would be better moving to the Antarctic with a bunch of convict-slaves to build yourself a 'fortress of doom'. Then sit in it and mutter "I'm king in here."

Either that, or you could do the sensible thing and realise that it's not the end of the world. It's only as big a deal as you let it be.

At 12/12/07 11:50 PM, Matt-Bob-343Spark wrote: Here

Nice!
Very realistic.... I can't see any real flaws in that. Well done!

Yeah, the idea is that you're not supposed to come in with the sole purpose of making other people do art for you... Even if you're offering payment.
The idea is that this forum is not supposed to be a commercial "hire artists here" type place, but more of an educational environment where artists can learn from those with more experience and skill, and teach those who are less skilled than themselves.
The rules stipulate that in order to preserve this environment, you are not allowed to start a topic asking for requests, and you are not allowed to post a topic without posting a relevant picture that you have drawn.

I believe that if you want someone to draw something for you, you have to do it via IMs.

At 12/12/07 04:54 AM, fli wrote: (I couldn't keep it down)

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

At 12/12/07 04:40 AM, GhostEye wrote: And I need help!!! Everybody keeps asking "can you DK"?!
What does that mean! I seriosly will stop playing if i dont find out soon!

Ps: I'm a shaman.

Are...
Are you William Shatner?

Insomnia is a medical condition. It is not a ficticious, made-up disease.

Technically, the illness I was diagnosed with was a form of Hatzfeldt Syndrome, but since I seriously doubted that anyone would actually understand what that was, I just typed 'insomnia'.

There's always some nutcase who castrates himself for his beliefs or occupation. Just look up "Eunich" online... It used to be quite common, especially in Rome.

If I remember correctly, in Ancient China, the only member of the royal court who was legally allowed to have a penis was the Emperor. Anyone else had to be castrated to ensure that all children born from the women of the court were the Emperor's kids.
Now that I think about it, it was the same in several societies... The 'Royal Eunich' was a common theme in many societies. They were used as escorts and servants to the women of the court, who in turn could never impregnate her.

I had a severe bout of insomnia last year, which meant I was up for two to three days at a time, and couldn't actually get to sleep until long after the hallucinations started...
And when I did manage to get to sleep, there was no force on heaven or earth that could wake me.

As you might be able to imagine, my memory of that period in my life is sketchy at best, but I'm sure that I must have slept for somewhere in the region of 20 hours or at one time.

I might doodle something down in my lunch break and post it up....
That is, if people aren't looking over my shoulder saying "why's he drawing a naked chick?"
It would surprise you how many people feel the need to watch you when you're drawing....

It's like trying to take a dump in a toilet that has a security camera in it...

You may not have realised this, but the internet is not the place to be trying to ban computer games.

And now for the rant-

* America only makes a point of 'bashing' the GTA games because the GTA games are not American. There are plenty of American games out there which are just as violent - if not more violent, than GTA. (Look at the Hitman series. I think that sneaking up and sticking a clawhammer into an innocent theatre-goer's face constitutes considerable violence.)

Second point, these games are not intended to be played by children. It is the fault of the suppliers for selling these games to minors, as well as the fault of the parents for allowing their children to play these games.
Hell, parents don't take enough interest in the medium, that's the problem. They just think of a video game as a 'toy', and happily hand it over to their child.
Let me ask you this - Do you give hardcore coprophilic pornography to your children? This is an example not fit for children's eyes, similar to violent computer games. Make the distinction and read the fucking age-rating-certificate.

Third point, The ratings DO reflect the content. Whether you like that idea or not.

Fourth point, if you actually ban these, you're being unAmerican (you commie). (I'm assuming you're American, because the biggest anti-computer game rants seem to be with middle-aged americans who predate the computer game.)

fifth point, You are saying exactly what they said when the motion picture was invented.

Sixth point, My country has a big stake in the modern computer games industry, so by posting your anti-computer-game rant, I could choose to be a dick and take that as being a racist attack. (In much the same way as you might take offence if I started trying to rally people to ban whatever the hell your primary exports are.)
And by the same Politically-correct (bollocks) logic that brought you to your initial conclusion, you must abandon it.

I'd just be bored during my lunch break. (That's when I usually log on)

At 12/11/07 09:27 AM, JackPhantasm wrote: I get to use cameras when I go to school that use real film and you can like set the frame rate super fast.

So I can have that real theater slow motion, none of that imovie shit.

What do you think I should film in slow motion.

Masturbation comes to mind.

Yes, because looking at a pair of testicles doing their lava-lamp impression is what we all want to see.

Happy music?
Isn't there a musician who uses the sounds of farts to make up tunes?

Failing that, Weird Al is pretty happy stuff.

I knew a girl whose boyfriend said "Your mum's dead." as he orgasmed... It later transpired that he had recieved a phone call earlier on about her mum being in a car crash... But he thought that he was less likely to get laid if he told her at the time.
Needless to say, he got dumped pretty quick.

The best one has to be a burp in the face, followed closely by a fart that could wake the dead, then rolling over and going to sleep.
Can't say I've ever done that one, but I think it would be funny.

At 12/6/07 05:48 AM, RyanTime2 wrote: here are some questions left unanswered:
1.did evolution really happen?

Most modern genetic science points to it as the most reasonable explanation. It's pretty safe to say a big "yes" on this one. Evolution of genetics was one of my courses for last semester at university, and I would be more than happy to throw numbers at whoever disagrees...

2.were there dinosaurs?

Well, the bones didn't just appear there (and it's almost completely impossible for them to have been planted. Many dinosaur bones are found under the sea nowadays... Such as Carcarodon Megalodon and such, because the salt water aids in the preservation process... But I won't go on.) We can quite safely assume that dinosaurs existed.

3.were there aliens?

There is good evidence on both sides of this argument, but at the moment, no alien life has been conclusively proven to exist. There is a great deal of confusion over Roswell, but people should all - by now, at least - understand that Roswell was an experimental aircraft testing site, and the 'landings' were in truth just the first ever Stealth aeroplanes coming in to land after a test flight. (think about how similar a pilot suit is to a spacesuit...)
However, it is more than likely that there are other earth-like planets out there which are capable of supporting life... And it is equally possible that planets do not have to be Earth-like in order to support life. (Who's to say that life has to be similar to us? Why should we assume that there can be no sillicon-based life on some god-forsaken rock like venus or something?)
Also, if there are any intelligent aliens within something like 90 light-years of earth, they will probably know about us, since humans have been transmitting radio signals for some time. These signals don't just go across the surface of our planet... They go out and into the darkness of space, too, and might get picked up by sentient alien life.
In summary, as far as aliens are concerned, we might never know. But they probably know about us already.

4.is it true human flesh is the most tasty meat?

For some reason, policemen can never resist the urge to turn to a captured cannibal and ask "what's human flesh taste like?"
Cannibals always give the same answer: Pork.

5.is there a love chocolate? (heard about it)

Not that I know of, but I don't know much about that....
I hate chocolate.

6.can you really preserve life within ice?

Only simple, single-celled lifeforms have so far survived freezing.
I saw a demonstration in Greenland where they brought some permafrost with some prehistoric mould in it from an ice-cave, and then proceeded to thaw it. When it thawed, the mould began to grow again.
So yes, it is possible for lifeforms to survive within ice, but at the moment, it is not possible to do it with multicellular lifeforms. This is due to several factors, but it's mostly to do with the fact that whichever part thaws first will die, as it requires all the other organs to survive. (So you would have to be thawed instantaneously in order to survive, but current human tech. is not advanced enough to do this.)

I don't want any silly answers. This is serious. Though if you want to joke around feel free to do so.

Potatoes.

I thought this was relevant....

The internet is not a place to discuss literature, nor is it a place to use correct spelling, grammar, punctuation or sentance structure.

It is a place for: T3H R0X0RZ ADN BUN5, NUB5, N00B5, N3WB5, ADN T3H 1337. L0L, LUL, LOLOL, 101, R0F1, 1M40....

You get the picture.
Also, your post irritated me like a crying baby.

At 12/11/07 05:06 AM, PieXNinja wrote:

At 12/4/07 10:10 PM, Xtesh wrote: Better question:

What if God appears before you and tells you that He doesn't exist?

Quite a headscratcher.

Well then you'd probably stop smaoking that pot you got from your friend's friend's cousin, wouldn't you?

On topic:

Well if I was an atheist (which I'm not (I'm a Jedi) ) I'd probably stick my fingers i my ear and start saying, "LA LA LA LA LA YOU DON'T EXIST LA LA LA LA."

In a similar vein to how Theists sit with their fingers in their ears and say "I'm not listening to science... LALALALALALA!" whilst obeying the orders of men who have been dead for thousands of years because they foolishly belive that the word of the ancients is the word of god.

(for example, science says that the world is about 4 billion years old, if I remember correctly. The bible says that the world is about ten thousand years old. (you can trace the bloodlines lines back to Adam and Eve through the bible, which then places the 'first day' at around 10,000 years ago. But then how do you explain dinosaurs?)
(And take note, that was simply an example of the sorts of things that many Theists choose to believe in spite of scientific evidence to the contrary. I am not interested in discussing how old the world is.)

Getting closer,
But I would say a little shading would make him fit in a whole lot better.

I think that you could probably do a whole lot better.