Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

Some ideas....

Make an official "I'm new here" thread, and sticky it to the top of the page

Make a "newbie board" forum where we can corral the newbs, while encouraging them to cum out of the shadows as well and post

Why would anybody choose to be attracted to animals in the first place? It's a nature over nurture thing, I think.

Uh he's been around, dude. Just gotta pay attention.

He may circle around in the skies overhead, but with NG chat still down he has little reason to land.

At 12/8/14 04:54 PM, Sword-of-Kings wrote: Goddamn it Baer, you ruined my life! Thousands of hours and dollars have been wasted on these fucking video games.

Lmao that's one way to look at all our aggregate hours spent staring at a glass screen.

At 12/8/14 07:20 PM, Powerage wrote:

At 12/8/14 04:30 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: Most of newgrounds is male, so this advice is pertinent to you guys.

If a BIG war is ever brewing on the horizon, and drafts are being seriously considered, join up voluntarily before you get drafted. You get two things if you join voluntarily: a choice of which branch you want to enlist, and respect among the brass and the grunts. And that respect will get you treated well.

that's pretty much exactly what my dad did after he graduated from high school back in the late 60s. he figured that he was going to get drafted sooner or later (and under the draft lottery that was instituted, his draft number was low enough that he would have been drafted in 1969) so he enlisted in the Air Force. lucky for him (and perhaps me) he never set foot in Vietnam, he was stationed near Tokyo, Japan for 4 years doing technical-related work. so you're pretty spot on there.

Thanks for serving, Powerage's dad!

What I also wanted to say, but ran out of time to edit, was that the reason you'll get respect if you join up rather than wait for your number is because people will see your act as a voluntary service to your country rather than an obligated act.

And even if people know that you're getting in early to find a good spot, they can't deny that what you're doing is pretty smart.

Nothing major, but I got food poisoning. Couldn't keep fluids down for 12 hours as I was exploding from my ass and mouth all through the night. So I went to the Cleveland clinic, got 3 IVs of fluids, some other junk too.

I went from not having any sphincter control to being constipated for 50 hours. Doctors are angels in white coats.

Also, literally all but two of the medical personnel I saw in the hospital and doctors office were female, which is a pleasant new development for the glass ceiling.

Another thing, why do the posts seem to drop off dramatically during the day and afternoon? There's like tumbleweeds tumblin' 'round here.

Most of newgrounds is male, so this advice is pertinent to you guys.

If a BIG war is ever brewing on the horizon, and drafts are being seriously considered, join up voluntarily before you get drafted. You get two things if you join voluntarily: a choice of which branch you want to enlist, and respect among the brass and the grunts. And that respect will get you treated well.

If worse cones to worse, that is.

Predicting wars is a lot like stomach cramps. You say, "Ohhh this is it! This is really it this time!" Then the cramp goes away as quickly as it appeared, and you're left saying, "well, that was nothing at all!"

War, like a bullet, you don't hear coming.

Okay, so you're basically Bizarro Santa.

Does this mean you steal shit instead of leaving shit, or do you just leave crappy gifts?

Aw Lord, every moment was pain in high school.

You want me to pick one moment??

How about this? My most painful experience of school was thinking back on all the painful experiences, trying to find one in particular.

At 12/7/14 07:36 PM, VJF wrote: This thread will not end well.

You're a freaking prophet

At 12/7/14 09:27 PM, leanlifter1 wrote:

At 12/7/14 07:03 PM, aviewaskewed wrote:

At 12/6/14 11:39 PM, leanlifter1 wrote: Obama seems to think it's a good order. Lets see what the people think ... Oh ya thats right they have no say in the matter ... "Executive decision".

Which has been well within the parameters of pretty much every President ever. Also it's unfair to act like Obama can and will just ram this through (which you seem to be implying) your own article makes it clear that this will still require Congressional approval. Something Obama has a very hard time getting.

The point of an executive order is that it supersedes the powers of congress. "The White House announced Monday that President Barack Obama will sign an executive order" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/01/obama-police-body-cameras_n_6250146.html

I don't think you understand the powers of an Executive Order.

Bean, the narrative the media/white house has been weaving since day 1 of this is that it's legal.

"But what abou-?" Legal.
"You forgo-" Legal.
"But where's our sa-" Legal.

Yes, executive actions are legal as of December 12th Year Of Our Lord 2014.....but if something is legal, that hardly makes it right. And I get the feeling too many here get their moral compass from a rather arbitrary judicial system.

fun fact, arbitrary literally means "judge" in Latin. The Romans or English progenitors probably had the same issues with laws that reflect whims rather than anything solid.

At 12/7/14 05:04 PM, Sectus wrote: The fact that the general response to this event is 'Yeah, I would've done it too!' is indicative of the average IQ rating round these parts.

I'd say most of the replies have been "That's terrible....but hilarious" or "Glad no one was killed, but, lol" which is why I made this thread. It's highly unusual and also funny. Plus there's the added bonus of nobody dying so we can laugh at the situation without feeling dickish.

But yeah, we have some "cool customers" who can cut diamonds with their edginess. And some people who don't see the ridiculousness at all in this story. Lighten up fellas

Also, Sectus, I thought I had seen every mod up until now. Where do you usually hide?

You know how they have that "Fat Camp"? Well how about a Cool Camp to help kids fit in or be popular?

I'm 21, and I wish dearly there had been such a thing when I was younger.

I'm gonna spoil your fun here with the truth.

Their house, their rules.

At 12/7/14 02:11 PM, RedCoin wrote:

At 12/7/14 01:57 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote:

At 12/7/14 01:48 PM, RedCoin wrote:

You seem to know a lot about chemistry...say, didn't I see you walking out of the hotel?

yeah i thought i recognized you

wait, i mean no

Who were you with? You were like holding some fur suit dudes hand

At 12/7/14 01:48 PM, RedCoin wrote: FYI, it wasn't gas, it was either powder or liquid. Chlorine gas straight up melts your fucking lungs

You seem to know a lot about chemistry...say, didn't I see you walking out of the hotel?

Link

So, somebody has both too much time and too much hate. Nobody died, but that hotel had almost 1000 people in it!

By the by, the comments made me laugh

At 12/7/14 11:55 AM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote:

At 12/7/14 11:49 AM, SithCorduroy wrote: I was watching a Christmas Carol and Charles Dickens is such a fucking social justice warrior.

Actually, he wrote other books where he made fun of 19th century liberals of his day. I'll find the source in a minute

edit: darn ran out of time. I'll make another post in a sec

Ah! I found it!

"Charles Dickens made wicked fun of liberals who put social reform, educational innovation, and ostentatious compassion ahead of their responsibilities to their own families. -Elizabeth Kantor, Ph.D.

In a lesser known book by Dickens, Bleak House, the antagonist, Mrs. Jellyby, is so infatuated with Africans and championing their plight that she "not only neglects her family, but positively persecutes her own children" to go after her own SJW ideals. Her oldest daughter was an unpaid drudge working day and night for the African relief effort,. And her younger children are deprived of her affections and forced to spend their own money on their mother's cause, a cause she loves more than she loves them.

Actually, if Charles Dickens were alive today, he would recieve thousands of letters from SJWs with the only words being "kill yourself"

I think Dickens was a proponent of individualism. There's the old saying, "charity begins at home". Raise good kids (with proper attention) and they'll turn out to be....drum roll....good kids.

At 12/7/14 11:49 AM, SithCorduroy wrote: I was watching a Christmas Carol and Charles Dickens is such a fucking social justice warrior.

Muppets Christmas Carol or gtfo

All that crap about how we need to help poor people. Fuck that.

I call that just being a good neighbor, no public policy or poverty programs can replace a nice turkey dinner with your friends for free. Scrooge was greedy for the sake of being greedy, he hoarded money for no reason.

Was he the first social justice warrior in history?

Actually, he wrote other books where he made fun of 19th century liberals of his day. I'll find the source in a minute

edit: darn ran out of time. I'll make another post in a sec

At 12/7/14 07:41 AM, Teddiikun wrote:

At 12/7/14 04:19 AM, K1LL80Y wrote:

At 12/7/14 12:49 AM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote:

And 45% of their employees are female gamers who really know their stuff too.

Lolno.

There seems to be a statistical inaccuracy

Ok, 40%?

At 12/6/14 05:00 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Hornworms and spiders are prolly the only weird ones I've had.

I got feathery dinosaurs.

Would you have screamed? I bet not

Mah furry friend, weighing in at over 20 pounds of spoiled rottenness, useful skills at about zero and redeeming qualities less than that, give it up for FLASH!

useless. animal.

At 12/6/14 10:05 PM, Valjylmyr wrote:

Why is everyone so critical of Gamestop here? Every time I got to my gamestop everyone is super nice and helpful.

Really. And 45% of their employees are female gamers who really know their stuff too. AND are not bad to look at either. Hell, I'll go to gamestop just to chat up the salesman/woman just if I'm in the area.

The comparison to Skyrim is loose. Yes, Bethesda games aren't strict at all about freedom, and it sounds like the next Zelda game is going to be like this. But actually, it is going to be more like classic Zelda.

By the classic I mean the original Legend of Zelda for the NES so many years ago, in it, you could complete any dungeon in any order, even killing Ganon without the use of a sword if you so wanted to. Grab the boomerang at level 7? Why not 1? Or 3? Yup, you could do that.

It sounds like Zelda Wii U is going back to the basics, which sounds cool to me.

At 12/6/14 10:40 PM, HeyImBenteke wrote:

At 12/6/14 04:56 PM, Teddiikun wrote:

At 12/6/14 04:07 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: ...Newgrounds Rumble?

That's what I'm thinking but I'm gonna need a bit more information on that. A lot of fighting games could fit that description

yEP GUYS THANKS ITS NEWGROUNDS RUMBLE

YER WECLUM NEWB

I had noticed something a little bit ago, every solid gaming company has at least one fighting game under it's belt. Banco has Soul Calibur, Nintendo has SSB, Konami Mortal Kombat and Capcom Street Fighter.

My personal favorite has always been Soul Calibur, though I feel it's the least loved of all the fighting game series. But if you want to hear from somebody who can talk about street fighter forever, let me page him: @tomfulp

EDIT: How could I forget Tekken by Namco?

...Newgrounds Rumble?

At 12/6/14 02:28 PM, aviewaskewed wrote:

At 12/6/14 07:40 AM, SadisticMonkey wrote:

It's also the exact rhetoric of those who want to deny racism exists at all that result to that. That's why there is never a productive discussion about these issues really,

White privilege is unfalsifiable garbage used to rationalize the failure of civil rights in achieving racial equality.

Lol, ok. Once again "racism doesn't exist! Whites and Blacks have the exact same opportunities!"

Arguing for the existence/nonexistence of something is inevitably going to be a black and white issue.

At 12/6/14 03:17 PM, Splats wrote: I can't believe how many of you spend your nights drinking, thinking it's okay.

It dulls the pain of life

Any bathroom shared with GoryBlizzard

shudders