Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

Anime is for fags. But seriously, if I had the patience to read subtitles I'd read a fucking book. Watching cartoons with subtitles is like reading a comic book except by the time you're done reading the text the picture has already disappeared.

Anime nerds are fucking retards as is, but anyone who prefers subtitles is a fucking pretentious dork.

I should be the boss.

At 9/24/14 05:34 PM, TecNoir wrote: So Newgrounds, I just wanted some opinions today. I can't afford an Ipod, and I just wanted to hear if you guys knew of any affordable music listening devices that aren't completely terrible.

So, what do you listen to music with?

My culture shuns music. Sometimes I just put your girlfriends vagina up to my ear and it sounds like the ocean.

Give her a chance, bang her, knock her up, stop talking to her. After she pushes the little shit out text her and say "I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but someone else came along. We're getting married."

While we're telling cool badass stories to make us look hard, I did 15 days in county prison and 29 days in drug rehab. I was about to get my 30 day chip but I shot up 3 bags of heroin, took 6 klonopin, smoked 3 crack rocks, drank half a bottle of rum and smoked 2 bowls within the first 12 hours I was out.

I went to a party and took 8mg of Xanax because it was byob and I had no b to b. I got there after taking it and they had a tub of jungle juice so I was like wtf this was a byob. The campus police came about 20 minutes later after I was several cups of jungle juice in. Next thing I remember it was 4am and I was standing on my townhouse porch naked begging my roommates to open the door cause it was snowing. I found my pants the next day, they were in our computer lab.

Fantastic

At 6/4/14 01:05 PM, Monster-64 wrote:

At 6/4/14 12:53 PM, Wadezilla wrote:

Sorry to break it to you, you egotistical testosterone-fueled alpha male, but this is not your school, nor have you any authority to ridicule me to tell me how I should and should not handle things. Bullying is bullying, just because you have it worse than someone else, doesn't mean that the person with less problems doesn't have any issues.

Assholes like you make me sick.

You're right, I don't have any authority to tell you how to do things. But I do have the right to call you a fucking idiot and give you some advice that instead of brushing off and calling me an asshole, you should actually listen up. That's what you do when your mommy tells you that you are perfect the way you are, that's what you when your school tells you that instead of facing your problems you should run somewhere that you will always be accepted, and that's what you do when the kids at school tell you that you like to fuck dolphin blowholes. You can't live life constantly trying to find a new location where you will be safe and secure, away from ridicule and pain inflicted by others. You need to stand up for yourself, or brush things off. People get bullied, it's happening to you, it happened to me, it happened to many others I know. Yeah, it fucking sucks and sure you may just want to die some days, but just fucking bear with it and don't try to hide from it.

I'll put it this way, say you and someone with your same knowledge and set of skills both apply for the job of your dreams one day. The person conducting the interview is ferocious and interrogates you to the core. However, the other person is used to it from years of taking shit from people, while you're used to finding a corner to curl up in when things get heated. Who do you think will perform better? Sure, I'm coming across as mean, but it's some good advice, take it as you will. You can live your life being able to perform when things get tough, or just run away crying. The choice is yours.

No, because back when I was in highschool if you got bullied you took it like a man and didn't whine about it until they transferred you. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Your generation is going to be full of sissyboys and ultimately drive society into the ground. Bullying has always existed, it's nothing new. It's pathetic the way that parents and school officials are making such a huge fuss about it now. People need to learn that kids will be kids and kids are some of the cruelest people you'll ever meet. Trying to change that is just like saying it's okay for teenage boys to wear pink glittery One Direction shirts and they should feel no social repercussion for doing so.

You fuckers make me sick.

This goes out to the small minority of you who have a girlfriend. I know about 90% of you don't because of the large number of times you fuckers whine about it. For those of you that do, is she fat?

Mine is a little chubby, but nothing that you'd be like "hey look at that fat girl" or even notice she was chubby around a group of chubby girls.

Yeah, join the military. Then once you're discharged have fun living off of your new income.

At 3/30/14 01:10 AM, Wegra wrote: What would be the first thing you do?

I come from a tight knit group of friends who will constantly grab each others butts, so I'm used to it.

I tell people how much I love and care about them to their face and then behind their backs I make fun of them for all of their shortcomings (to a select few real friends). Truth is, I don't care about their friendship, I just want them to shower me with praises while I create a nice fort of social protection for when shit hits the fan in one way or another. I love who I love and everyone else can go fuck themselves, or fuck me. I put on a good show to get laid.

Kids love orange juice, orange juice is made from oranges which are orange. Wade wants to lure more kids here so he figures the color may have some impact.

No, but I get dozens of free cups of water. I hold my urine in until it becomes impossible to do so and I go piss all over their bathroom floor. Shows those corporate scumbags to dare charge me for a soda!

At 3/11/14 07:47 AM, Loki wrote: you stupid mortals will take anything for a god so long it can say words you don't understand

Your moms been sucking my dick for the past 30 minutes and in all honesty, everything shes tried to say has all been garbled. Think I'm gonna worship this bitch.

I am your God. :) Enjoy my omnipresence.

Because I'm a caring and generous user who always tries to help my fellow BBSers out of binds through kindhearted one on one counseling.

Only if your pants are down so you can blast fecal particles on her face.

At 3/3/14 11:57 PM, Parlux wrote: Why is the store closing? What staff members left the website? Is Newgrounds dying?

The Clock Crew seceded, so now NG has no personality besides being another website you can upload your crap on.

At 3/3/14 01:59 AM, Scintillating wrote:

At 3/3/14 01:56 AM, Wadezilla wrote: Try me. I bet I've been there, done that to everything you say.

Wow dud I can't believe you fucked your parents

Sometimes I enjoy revisiting places I was when I was young.

I have a friend who had longer hair than you. He cut it and was promoted to a management position at the company he works for within a matter of days.

Try me. I bet I've been there, done that to everything you say.

At 2/27/14 11:15 PM, FattyFatFatGamer wrote: I did, in front of the whole cafeteria at my school. I had spilled milk on my knee, I got up, and I jogged to the bathroom so I could dry it up. I must have tripped over something because my ass hit the floor, I didn't even know I had fallen until someone offered to help me up. I landed on my tribone.

Haha, your failure is the fact that you got up and ran to the bathroom to clean up. You gotta be witty about that shit, otherwise people are gonna remember you as the kid who fell on his ass in the cafeteria instead of "the kid who pulled that funny stunt where he pretended to fall on his ass and accused the lunch ladies nipples of leaking milk onto the floor"

Sell heroin in suburban areas. Works where I'm at. (drive to philly, buy bundle (14 bags) for $75, drive to suburbs and sell each bag for $15)

At 2/27/14 02:18 AM, Sodamachine wrote: I think I just realized what I'm doing wrong! I'm not smoking crack!

Oh my god I can't believe I didn't get it before! It seems so simple!

I can get you some high quality Philly dubs.

Ahhh beards, the manly way to emphasize the fact that you're single.

At 2/25/14 08:25 AM, Madjasper1 wrote: Can anyone recommend a good camera for doing Vlogs and doing Unboxing Videos?
For the past few months I've been using a shitty Hercules Classic Webcam that has made my videos look like 240p.

A gun. Just point it at your face and to start recording the vlog pull the trigger. You'll save yourself a shitty vlog.

At 2/27/14 12:20 AM, Sodamachine wrote: Seriously, I don't know what it is but when I come on here and post something it often times ends up being something
stupid that I regret saying.

This place seriously makes me feel like I'm losing brain cells. Am I the only one that feels this way?

Oh god this is probably going to be another one jesus shit christ.

You're fitting in just fine. 95% of the posters are fucking idiots. Especially the staff.

Fuck and marry Wade, kill Bedn.