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At 8/15/10 10:13 AM, Nev wrote: Uncharted 1 is so bad. My mind really aches wondering how this game is so well liked.

It brought an Indiana Jones adventure to consoles, it was one of the first good games on the PS3 (it's "great for a PS3 game" would be a good sum-up phrase for reviews at the time), and it had a good mix of creative platforming with decent gunplay. Those 3 things made it stand out initially.

Uncharted 2 is far better in every way but its still no where near the level everyone claims it is.

I'll always be bitter about this game.

How so? It was fun, the best ratio of platforming-action that I've seen, had a good story, and was an incredibly tight game. And that's on top of the voice acting, graphics, and cinematics. Sure, it had some minor flaws like sometimes not being able to find the ledge you had to jump on and the impossible-to-kill mutated guys (until you get a grenade launcher or magic crossbow), but those are minor quibbles compared to the eternal orgasm that is Uncharted 2.

At 8/11/10 04:03 PM, iateamexican wrote: You know how every time someone is like "CAN I JION CLUB PLZ" we're all "FULL LOL"?
Has anyone actually seen anyone that asked and got that response?
I think they took it seriously..

Don't worry. Most of them are low-level users with few posts. They probably didn't come back to see that "we're full". Hell, they probably never came back to the site.

And for those none of you who care, I'll give my initial impressions of Madden 11. And any comparisons I do are going to be from what I've heard about Madden 10 and what I've played of Madden 07.

The gameplay is just as tight as it was last year, with the AI doing an adequate job of playing the other guys you aren't. In fact, it feels more like an actual, real-life football game. You're not going to break 50 yard runs every time, or throw 70 yard bombs, or get 10 yard sacks, or ridiculous amounts of interceptions. The score is close to what an actual NFL score would be. It's just a very tight, very realistic game.

What's new to the play calling is "Game Flow" (could be one word, could be two, but who gives a fuck). Basically, rather than scrolling through menus to find a play, this system will automatically pick a play based on the situation, your strengths, and their weaknesses. It's like a simpler, smarter version of ask Madden, without the benefit of being able to realize Play X is retarded here and pick a new one. But 99% of the time it's got a good play on hand, and it's easy to quickly audible into something you like. You can further augment and refine Game Flow by creating a gameplan. I haven't done one of these yet, but you get access to all of your opponents tendencies, and can plan accordingly. Game Flow will then use your gameplan to better pick plays.

What's weird is the new control schemes. In this modern day of GRANDMA MUST PLAY VIDEO GAMES, the controls are extremely basic. 1 button each to stiff arm, spin, dive, and jump, with the right stick taking care of jukes, high stepping, and lowering your shoulder. There isn't a sprint button, which feels weird as a player, since you want to hold something as you try to outrun everyone. There's the new "protect the ball" button, which you press/hold right before you get hit to prevent fumbles. On defense, the controls are even more basic. The right stick controls all of your movements on the d-line, with L1 being the "knock it down" button. Off the line, with the auto-strife on, you basically just need to move, and hit either L1 or triangle to knock down the ball. You're encouraged to run straight into players, rather than the usual tactic of hitting square to dive at them. The penalty of hitting square is usually a missed tackle. Pre-snap adjustments are simpler, as all of those calls are on the d-pad, rather than a specific button. Overall, the controls aren't significantly different, but I feel like hardcore enthusiasts might need some time to adjust.

Franchise mode is bare bones. Going back to 07, you could control everything from player salaries to the price of hot dogs, move your team, practice during the week, and improve your players through mini-camps. Now, all you can do is hire new players, fire old ones, and play the weekly games. It just feels like a bit of a letdown, like I should be doing more in-between games.

I haven't had a chance to go online or start my "Ultimate Team" (think Pokemon Trading Card Game minus the roaming, plus unknown NFL players), so I can't comment on those, but they look standard.

At 8/10/10 12:07 PM, Hycran wrote:

At 8/9/10 10:30 PM, TheThing wrote: Jesus Christ, those clit fondlers over at EA Sports and Gamestop really know how to grab you by the dick and jerk you around (and not in the good way).

That "launch party" was really just a "preorder the game so you can wait in line for 2 hours". Fuck that shit.

You shouldnt be buying madden in the first place.

I enjoy a good football game, and the last Madden I got is 07. Besides, it's one of the few games that has local multiplayer.

Sorry games industry that I have real-world friends who want to sit next to me while we play.

I'm glad to see that you've taken some of the advise given. Some find it hard to heed advice so quickly.

I agree with Tiny over here; paragraph out the dialog. You can block it up by who said it, but I believe it's proper grammar to space it out. For example:

"Jasper." She said, as she made her way down the spiral steps. She heard Jasper give an irritated hiss. "What?" He said in an annoyed voice. "Some guy dropped this in front of my room." "Congratulations." Jasper said,

Should be this:

"Jasper." She said, as she made her way down the spiral steps. She heard Jasper give an irritated hiss.

"What?" He said in an annoyed voice.

"Some guy dropped this in front of my room."

"Congratulations." Jasper said,

You can add more action to the dialog as you see fit.

But as a series, I feel like it's going nowhere. Yes, it is well written, has some great characterization and good action, but overall there is very little plot progress. At this point in the story, you should have introduced more of the overarching plot by now. I know you've established the amulet, but there should be more. Have her really look at the amulet; investigate it, see if something moves, or if there's an inscription.

I feel like you've wasted a lot of space establishing a characteristics that have already been established or inferred. Like her ability to fight; as a part-wolf, I understand that she's got some badass moves in a fight. I don't need to read about her fighting some thugs off. Or the fact that Jasper doesn't give a shit; why would Sammi even bring up the amulet with Jasper? She would have better luck going door to door.

I say before you churn out a few more chapters, figure out what you want to happen at the end of Part 5, and how to get there. Then figure out what's going to happen at the end of Part 7, or Part 10, then figure out how to get there. It's clear that you're just stringing the story along until you figure out what's going on.

Jesus Christ, those clit fondlers over at EA Sports and Gamestop really know how to grab you by the dick and jerk you around (and not in the good way).

That "launch party" was really just a "preorder the game so you can wait in line for 2 hours". Fuck that shit.

Picked up Call of Duty: Finest Hour. Haven't had a chance to play it, but I'm sure to enjoy it. Haven't played a WWII shooter in a long time.

Also, I'm going to a Madden 11 launch party at Gamestop. Just a little insight into how boring and sad my life really is.

At 8/8/10 03:00 PM, ThePortalGuru wrote: Thanks for the helpful critique, Thing.

No problem. Nothing makes me angrier when I post a work, and all I get is "that was pretty good", I try to make my reviews as in-depth as possible.

Yeah, I wasn't to sure about that phrasing myself. I'm still working on how to put in some natural sounding words, phrases and dialog into this script. I'll be sure to change that. Maybe red-handed might be a good alternative, but it seems to be overused in a lot of scripts.

Don't be afraid to use cliched phrases every once in a while. If it doesn't happen often, the reader won't notice. And it's not a big deal in a script; this is supposed to be natural speech, and I don't try to think of new ways to avoid a cliche in mid conversation. Of course, you still shouldn't fall back on cliches very often, but occasionally it's excusable.

This isn't apparent from the script, but Ross has a habit of calling people by their first name. Notice how he calls Bradley Terry instead of Chief. Ross and Dunn have always had a pretty shaky relationship.

Yeah, Like I said, there hasn't been much exposition so I was going off of what I could interpret from what you wrote. Which, by the way, you did a good job of establishing the personalities and relationship of the 2 main characters without smacking the reader in the face and yelling "LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS I CREATED! LOOK AT ALL OF THEIR CHARACTERISTICS! AREN'T THEY SWELL AND INTERESTING PEOPLE!"

At 8/8/10 02:31 PM, earphonesan wrote: The poll is just there for entertainment. You're not really supposed to know how it'll affect the story, and neither am I.

To me, people only want to answer polls if they know why they are answering them. Even if it's just for fun, they want to see the ramifications. It may be to see how the population of a group (a website, town, organization etc.) thinks. Or in a case like this, they want to see a certain outcome. But, like I said, they won't answer the poll if they are unsure how it will play into the story, because each one is completely different from the other.

Right now I'm just completely improvising the story, so it probably won't be as good as it could be. I'm not a serious avid writer, I prefer to just enjoy what I write, and hopefully other people will enjoy it too.

You should always enjoy what you write. If you're not enjoying it, neither will the reader.

I'm hoping to take this story further, but right now I just need to figure out what I'm writing. (I usually do this WHILE I'm writing the story, and I think it's very fun that way, but it sounded like you thought it was bad like that.)

Writing is a combination of improve and pre-planning. Every story should have an idea of where it's going. Let's say Sammi is being hunted for science/profit. You should have certain plot points in mind - she gets chased, discovers why she is being chased, confronts the group chasing her, then kills them. How each of the story reaches those points will be thought of in the moment.

The amount of pre-planning depends on the writer. Some just have an introduction and an endpoint, then create from there. Others plan exactly what will occur at every turn of the story. But they all have an idea what is going to happen, whether they are writing for fun or looking to push an idea.

To be honest, I was a bit surprised at the quality of this. Usually I don't see this kind of quality from new members here. That being said, it still wasn't very good.

The first you should do is rename the story. When people see "Newgrounds story", they expect to see something based on this site, not a werewolf story. Even if you just make it "Story I'm working on", people at least won't be heading in with false expectations.

Secondly, get rid of the poll. I have no idea what you're talking about, even after reading the story. I'm not going to bother answering a poll that may or may not affect the story, and I'm definitely not going to answer a poll that makes no sense if it did affect the story. You present 3 completely different ideas, yet you don't provide a unifying question to explain how they are related.

Thirdly, spacing. Very few people are willing to read a wall of text, and that's what you have presented here. Breaking up the story into paragraphs will help not only the reader, but you as well. It will allow you to group ideas and descriptions, and it'll let you see if you need to add a little more at this point or take a little away on that part.

Fourthly, have a purpose. This story doesn't seem to be going anywhere. It's a nice introduction to Sammi and characterizes her fairly well, but the story so far doesn't have any conflict. Is Sammi unhappy being a werewolf and wants to revert to a human? Did some one find her secret and is hunting her for profit? Is there a massive battle brewing between werewolves and vampires, and Sammi is the only one who can beat the evil vampires? Get some kind of conflict going, otherwise this story is just going to be...there.

Finally, don't be so blunt about your descriptions. As a reader I don't want to hear a laundry list of characteristics. Rather than something like "She had long straight bluish grey hair", set it up so that she is walking home, "her long bluish-grey hair bounced behind her". I just described her hair, and subtly furthered the characterization of Sammi being bubbly by using "bounced". You also don't have to have all the descriptions of her in beginning. You can space them out a bit; have her eye color come up after some plot. While she was fighting the hobo for the money, she "flashed her piercing yellow eyes, frightening the hobo into retreating".

You have some good bones here. You have a good character who you described well, and described her personality equally as well. You also set up what could be an interesting story, and one I wouldn't mind reading more of. You write pretty well for a beginner, and with practice and help you could be pretty good. Keep working on it.

This dialog brings up an interesting premise, and I'm curious to see where you take it. A few things though:

1) Every time Dunn said "blood on your fingers", it was like nails on a chalk board. Blood on your hands would be more appropriate. And besides that phrase, if Ross really mutilated the body as crazily as he did, then there would be splatter all over him, not just on his hands/fingers.

2) There are other ways to figure out if a body is male or female besides the face. In fact, that could be a poor measure, as there are some men who have feminine features and women who have masculine features. You can use your imagination for a quick way to see if the victim is a male or female. While DNA and other more scientific ways are being investigated

3) For being friends, Dunn is a real asshole to Ross. I mean, there hasn't been enough exposition for me to get a good read on Dunn's character, but the way it seems to me, he doesn't feel any sympathy for his supposed friend. They may have a rivalry going, or some animosity between the 2, but for 2 people to be on a first name basis with each other, they should be at least friendly, and Dunn should be less of a douche in this kind of a situation.

Other than that, this is a solid script with an interesting idea. I'm curious to see where this will go, and while I don't have enough characterization, you presented characters that I'm interested in seeing more of.

Wow, I guess I'll be the first to touch this. I'll do my best to be constructive.

First off, this girl loves a lot of things. Working out, video games, sex; you name it, she loves it. Try describing her differently. Rather than just having 2 paragraphs of this nameless girl loving everything, try different ways of describing her and her personality. Instead of "she loves to work out", try "she spent her mornings at the gym, developing her tone and fit body". Boom, 2 descriptions done in 1 more interesting sentence.

But the bigger question is, why the fuck are you writing all of this characterization to nameless girl if it has nothing to do with the plot? I don't give a fuck that she's a good dancer or she loves drinking, unless it will affect her in some way later on. Now, something like "She even loves seeing things get destroyed, as long as people aren't hurt. She loves the feeling of shock and awe at times." is relevant to the plot you set up, as she gets turned on by the various forms of earthquakes, but the fact that she plays RPG's doesn't matter.

The rest of the story really doesn't have any point. Yeah, I'm sure I can make some kind of metaphor out of nameless girl finding ground shaking to be sexy, but I doubt that was your intention, nor do I really want to try. Now, if there could be more added to this, say, she's killed by an earthquake or something, you might have a plot and a story. But as it stands, you have an opening and the beginnings of a body, then just close it off with "and she'll never forget this". Besides giving her pleasure, what do these earthquakes do to nameless girl where I'll care whether or not she'll remember those moments?

You might be able to go somewhere with this. Well, somebody else could go somewhere with this. You, on the other hand, don't currently have the ability to take this anywhere. You're free to try, because practice will help you become a better writer, but don't expect this to be your magnum opus (and if it is, you have a very long way to go)

At 8/6/10 09:18 PM, iateamexican wrote:

At 8/5/10 04:51 PM, TheMaster wrote:

This is possibly not all that relevant, but I was browsing my past posting history and found this. I.. yeah.
Not the best powers of prediction ever..

Not entirely accurate, but close. The new cast did an adequate job at being the A-Team, but there was nothing entirely special about that movie. C+, B- at best.

They may just not bring him back. He goes to Arkham and we never hear from him again. There are plenty of other big-name bad guys that could be the ring-leader, and they just never bring in the joker again.

At 7/31/10 09:34 AM, BobbaQ wrote: Nearly got my Split Second and Bad Company 2 plats. Thing, BlackOps (Grant) has bought Dragon Rising so he'll be able to help out as well.

Thank god. I'm not sure what is with the online. I played the first 2 levels by myself on hardcore before we played, and while I had a few deaths, it wasn't as bad as what happened to us.

First, I'd like to say that this is a very good poem. While the message and symbolism feels a bit cliche (the yin and the yang of life is a beast within us), it was presented with good imagery and diction. I also liked the rigid structure of the poem; you tried to keep each line the same length, adding another layer of symbolism.

But I have to agree with Strength; it feels like it should be longer.

At 7/29/10 11:41 PM, psuedojesus wrote: Why does length matter?

First off, when someone says "make it longer", this is a good thing. That person enjoyed your piece so much that they want to read more of it (feed the "Beast Inside", so to say. God I'm so witty.) But while having a compact, succinct piece is nice, sometimes making it slightly longer will allow a deeper exposition into the ideas behind the poem, and help the reader understand the point you are trying to get across to them. Specifically, you need to extend the ending. You spend the entire poem talking about how the Beast is evil, yet only one line on why we need it. While you spoke very cryptically about fighting the Beast, you were very plain on why we need it. I think if you delved into what the Beast does positively for us, you would have a much more satisfying poem. Hell, you can even take the same amount of lines as you did to explain the evilness, giving it good parallelism.

That's just my thoughts though. I'm no professional, and I'm relying on what I've been taught in my few English classes and what I've discovered through practice and critiques, along with tips from around the net. So do what you feel is best for your poem.

At 7/28/10 10:10 PM, Stretchysumo wrote: I want to take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.

I've got something to put in you at the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar

You do understand that A) ghostwriting is highly frowned upon, if not illegal, B) this forum isn't for advertising yourself, and C) who the hell on Newgrounds is going to need a ghostwriter?

I just found one of the best Rock Band songs. It's called "Gay Bar" by Electric Six. It's not particularly interesting or extremely fun to play (it's decidedly average), but it's a pretty good song to listen to, along with being hilarious.

At 7/26/10 02:37 PM, TrevorW wrote: Good dialog is dynamic and has feeling in it though, wouldn't you agree?

This can go on forever.

Yes, good dialog does have feeling in it and does possess some dynamicism. But good dialog is hard to do, and The Woodcutter does not do it. Besides, a little description as to what else is going on never hurt. It doesn't have to be a 3 page exposition; a short sentence or 2 will do it.

At 7/25/10 06:08 PM, TrevorW wrote: I would argue that there are other methods to establish the setting and situation. If an impressive narrative preluded to the dialog then there should not be a problem. Take "The Road" for instance. Everything needed for setting was established before major chunks of dialog and the dialog was built on from there.

Very true. But I would argue that The Road is more an exercise in atmosphere building rather than story telling or providing a theme or moral, making the dialog less of a focus than the previous narration.

I just prefer to have the characters or the background or something going on whenever dialog appears, because I play out the story I'm reading like a movie in my mind. And whenever I see dialog lined up like that, all I can imagine is the characters standing a foot or 2 apart, saying their lines in a rather monotonous tone; arms at their side, looking directly forward. No emotion, no action, just boring dialog used to progress the plot, al la The Road.

As to the concern of The Robot's impossible sentience:

I prefer to write in soft sci-fi, much like Ray Bradbury. I use robots and rocket ships to get my message across; I don't care if it would be impossible to do X Task with Y Machine if it's in Z Set Up. Technology is just a means to an ends. Don't get hung up on it.

And both of you got the message I was putting across. It's a tragedy; The Robot, as John put it, "knows the meaning of life", but as Deathcon put it, he's "damned to solder". No one knows that this robot is essentially a god, but he is unable to break his monotonous routine and communicate this. So, he's forced to do what everyone expects him to do - fall in line and solder for everyone else but himself. He isn't being used to his full potential, and he can't say anything about it. Apply whatever further meaning you have to that explanation.

At 7/25/10 04:59 PM, Deathcon7 wrote:

At 7/25/10 02:46 AM, TheThing wrote: 3) Avoid floating heads. Unless it's a particularly meaningful, important, or dramatic line of the story, try to put something at the end or the beginning of the quote. And more than just "he said". What is doing while he's speaking? Is he still eating? Cleaning up after dinner? Does scratch his head when he finds out the merchant is a governor, or does he throw his hands in the air out of excitement? Spice it up a bit.

This isn't always necessary. It depends on what's happening, or what is being said, or the pace of the dialog. Tags aren't always required if you can infer who is speaking, or if the actions of the character are negligible.

Not to start a war, but it is important to avoid it as much as possible. Like I said, Floating Head Syndrome is alright occasionally, especially for an important line of dialog. But overall, the characters should be doing something while talk. It makes the text more interesting to the reader, adds some characterization to the characters, and re-enforces the setting/plot up to that point.

Overall, it wasn't bad. It wasn't good either, but it's a start.

I'm not exactly sure why you broke everything into 2 lines. It's a bit weird, especially with the rhyme scheme you've chosen. I say put the ABCB lines together, then leave the couplet alone, like so -

Filled up with a sensation
One impossible to tell
It's neither happy nor anxious
Feeling of not being well

Earth has not something to compare
This feeling is much for anyone to bare

Of course, if there's a particular stylistic or symbolic reason you chose 2 lines, by all means keep it like that.

Also, some of the rhyming feels a bit forced. The way I do rhyming poems is I lay out what I want to say first, then change the lines to fit into a rhyme. Like so -

I love your laugh
And the way you talk

Turns into:

I loved your response to a joke
and that lovely way you spoke.

I understand that's not the world's greatest couplet, but it's just a quick example to give you an idea.

Also, watch your meter. Some of the lines just have too many syllables, which makes it awkward to read, especially when it happens in the couplets.

Finally, use punctuation. Most people don't realize it, but poetry needs periods and commas as much as a novel does. In fact, periods and commas can help add more meaning to a poem. So use them.

This is pretty good for a first time poet. The more you practice (and get feedback like this), the more you will grow and the better you will become.

This is a rather interesting plot line, and I'm curious to see where it goes. But I do have some helpful hints for the later installments

1) Edit before you post. I was almost dissuaded when I saw the words "unedited" at the top. But besides losing readership, it also makes a better story. You can correct mistakes, make the story more logical, or add some characterization through dialog. Which leads me to my next point...

2) Add some characterization. I know nothing about either of the men besides their professions. What do they look like? What are they wearing? What are their personalities? Give me a little more detail on your characters. Hell, it could make planning future events much easier (i.e. the merchant is a sly guy and eventually fucks over the woodcutter; that particular thing doesn't have to happen, but you get the idea).

3) Avoid floating heads. Unless it's a particularly meaningful, important, or dramatic line of the story, try to put something at the end or the beginning of the quote. And more than just "he said". What is doing while he's speaking? Is he still eating? Cleaning up after dinner? Does scratch his head when he finds out the merchant is a governor, or does he throw his hands in the air out of excitement? Spice it up a bit.

4) To go along with the above, try to break up the dialog. You start out well enough, with a little bit of well-developed back story, but you falter after that point. Put narration after a few lines of dialog. What are they thinking about? Do they pause at any point during this conversation? If so, what's going on in the background? Does the horse interrupt at any point? I'm reading a piece of literature, not a screenplay; tell me what the characters are doing.

Like I said, I'm intrigued by the plot, and I'm curious to see where it goes from here. As for the tips above, you can heed them or disregard them. But it's those things that make a piece be considered "well-written", and it takes time and practice to figure out how to get that stuff done. But I feel that this story is a bit more "for fun"; that is, you're just dicking around, telling a scenario you thought up. But it's a good place to practice some of the higher-writing skills I mentioned.

At 7/24/10 01:45 AM, JohnEndel959 wrote: One question, would a robot that was programmed only to solder really have the technology to be sentient and knowing?

He's singular for a reason. He's basically an accident. The exact reasoning behind it is unnecessary though; it's not important why a soldering robot has the processing power or code to be all knowing. If it was important, I would have included it.

I'll tell you what, you give me what you think happened to create this sentient robot, and I'll tell you if you're right.

At 7/24/10 02:44 AM, Jerkapotamus wrote:

At 7/23/10 07:20 PM, Centurion-Ryan wrote: It's a trend I thought died out a few years ago: a cookie-cutter shooter with a gimmick.

Oh yeah...

Ironically, the sequel was just released

At 7/23/10 06:08 PM, Patonki wrote:

At 7/22/10 04:24 AM, scetch00 wrote:

Taken out to reduce costs of building the system, obviously.

Card readers and USB ports are NOT expensive to produce.

Millions of PS3s are manufactured a year, if they take out a few dollars in manufacturing costs, they save millions of dollars. Also, the card readers are ABSOLUTELY useless, no real use for them.

Yeah, I used mine twice - once to show off pictures of a trip I took, and the other to put music on my PS3 before I figured out that the PS3 only reads FAT32 drives, not NFTS.

In all honesty, the PS3 only needs 3 USB ports, and that's only for Rock Band.

Not to jump into the argument, but...

At 7/23/10 08:46 AM, Coop83 wrote:

At 7/22/10 12:36 PM, byteslinger wrote: Unfortunately, it's not true karma - it's stupidity. And it's not just the US waging war for oil. Oh, we're guilty as charged - but our misguided wars to make sure that the oil flows brings benefits to ALL other countries, including the UK. True, your petrol prices are much higher than they are in the states, but that's because your government wants to (a) make more money per litre, and (2) eventually force people to consider alternate sources of fuel and transportation.

I'm blaming our spineless politicians for following as GWB led the crusade, known as the "War on Tuurr", when we really know that if there was no oil under Iraq or Afghanistan, there would have been no war.

First off, there is no oil under Afghanistan. It was purely retaliation for 9/11. But Iraq could have been a variety of things - Bush trying to finish what his father started, for oil, to create an ally in the Middle East besides Israel, or for WMD's.

A lot of other countries agreed with the US in that Iraq needed to be handled, for whatever reason. Many of those countries didn't receive shit other than a pat on the back. Whether it was the right, is another thing.

Our fuel prices are ridiculous - £45 for a 10 gallon tank of diesel. £1.20 per litre, £5.40 per gallon...

I agree. But it's also a luxury for you guys. You don't necessarily need a car for every day tasks. Sure, it's nice, but for the most part it's not necessary. For most in the US, the current gas tax policy is actually from the 1950's, where the government wanted to promote suburban growth. And because of that, gas needs to be cheat in order to keep the economy going.

Yeah, but Union Carbide still haven't done anything, have they?

Because it happened in India.

The question isn't why it took so long for the companies to help clean up their mess - the question is why did they have to happen in the first place? And for those of you harboring conspiracy theories - how many of them weren't really "accidents"?

Good point - sometimes human nature causes gross negligence and peopel die as a result. Lots of people.

It's like the companies are in it for the money.

It's not just the USA - it's ALL countries that depend on oil and gas. We just happen to be the biggest gluttons on the planet - but we are not alone.

What's the smallest engine that the American car companies manufacture for general sale to Americans? 3 litre? My car is viewed as a big engine and it's a 1.9 litre Turbo Diesel.

Nah, smallest is around a 1.6 liter. But I'd say the overall average would be something around 2.5-3 liter. Of course, I'm just estimating on that figure, so it may be wrong.

At 7/23/10 04:53 AM, JKiloEcho wrote: And a few dozen things like that. In the end, the whole poem was based on these original thoughts and the end result was a really powerful, truthful product. Good luck.

That's exactly how you should start any poem that you want to rhyme. You get the lines down that express the ideas, themes, and emotions you want to express, then try to reword them to fit into a rhyme scheme you feel suits the poem. For an example off the top of my head:

I love your laugh
And the way you talk

Turns into:

I loved your response to a joke
and that lovely way you spoke.

Before you claim this is a useless bump, it's not. I've edited The Robot, and I'm just posting the updated version in the hope that it'll get some commentary.

The Robot

The Robot was born on January 9, 9170
To Desert Father Electronics,
The aloof parent.
While the Robot was one of many,
It was singular.
It was different.
This robot could Comprehend.
It Understood.
He stepped out of the factory
And into Existence.

Thoughts zipped through his circuitry
Like fuel through an engine,
Spinning his gears
And letting him speed through Imagiriums
At breakneck paces
With only his Motherboard as his brakes.

He knew the very secrets
Of the Universe
And all of the Locks
To the World.
He understood the Mist
Of the Soul,
And the Waterfall
Of the Mind.

And yet,
With all this Knowledge,
He did not know how to express.
He was not programmed to share
His endless depths with the world.
It was cast to solder
And nothing else.

So,
It stood in line,
Next to the drones,
And did its task
Of fusing other's wires.
And,
For the next hundred thousand years,
All he did
Was solder.