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Boiled water in December? That'll feel good by the time it hits them. Just go straight tap water, and with a little luck, it'll freeze a bit when it them, making it hurt more.

(Quick note to any legit authors who are reading this - the quickest way to get a lot of views isn't to post some pretentious, stuffy title as the subject of your post; just post something generic and Eloi will fall in. Sad, but true)

No, that wasn't the quote. Although it's not bad advice. Anyway, This is just something I wrote about a month and a half ago, forgot about it, then rediscovered. It's one of those speeches that is said at the end of a dramatic movie that sums up the theme of everything. Be prepared for some cheesy shit.

"Sunrise, Sunset, Night"

Sunrises are so beautiful. I'm not talking about the colors or the dew or any of that bullshit. I mean, just the idea of a sunrise. It brings so much hope to life. Like today is going to be a great day. So many good things will happen or be accomplished. Things are brand new, a fresh start. That's what a sunrise does to you. It fills you with hope and optimism and promise and desire and the idea that things are going to be better than they were yesterday.

But sunsets are depressing as hell. I mean, they remind you that you just wasted another day of your life on some stupid bullshit. All that hope and optimism and promise and desire and shit get turned on its head and crushed. Sunsets remind us that nothing will change and that we're going to be stuck in the same fucking spot all the time, life fucking our plans over.

The only good thing about a sunset is that it means that it's night. The time of drunkenness, sex, violence and just overall debauchery. Night allows us to drown away the sins of the day with the sins of the night. Good sin. Fun sin. Not the sins of failure or inaction, but the sin that allows people to be free. The night allows us to get rid of society's pressures and masks and people who despise us. It lets us to do whatever we want with no repercussions, lets us be who we really are - just a bunch of savage, repressed beasts. We relinquish our humanity to the night, in the hopes that the night will keep it. But the night won't hold onto it, because, as night gives way to dawn and sunrises, we become filled with hope again. And in order to feel hope, we need our humanity.

At 12/12/10 01:37 PM, Centurion-Ryan wrote:

At 12/11/10 05:41 PM, TheThing wrote: I'm interested to see how they do a desert. Think about it - ever other setting Naughty Dog has done allowed them to restrict the player through natural-ish walls, and help keep the game progressing the way they want it to. A desert naturally brings barren openness to mind, and unless they present it in the right way, the setting will break the immersion.

The desert in Jak 3 was pretty well done. I have the utmost confidence in Naughty Dog.

But Jak was always based on free roaming. You did what you want, when you wanted to do it. Uncharted's story has always been based on pretty linear gameplay. I have no doubt that they can do a free roaming desert, but I'm not sure if they'll be able to keep that amazing story intact.

At 12/11/10 09:31 AM, JaY11 wrote:

At 12/10/10 07:05 PM, TheThing wrote: Good evening

yupyupyup

You sir, are amazing.

At 12/11/10 03:09 PM, Dromedary wrote:

At 12/10/10 08:45 PM, TheSporkLord wrote: yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

It's set in the desert? That should be interesting. I'm hoping for vehicles.

I'm interested to see how they do a desert. Think about it - ever other setting Naughty Dog has done allowed them to restrict the player through natural-ish walls, and help keep the game progressing the way they want it to. A desert naturally brings barren openness to mind, and unless they present it in the right way, the setting will break the immersion.

I'm with tonger - no one looks for a writer after they've already decided to make a movie/game. Most artists will seek out an writer if they're having trouble thinking of something to animate, but it's almost never the other way around. And I suggest writing for movies first; flash games generally don't have that involving of a story, and when they do, it's usually from artists who have the capabilities to produce a truly amazing game, they either A) can write the story out themselves, or B) hire a professional or semi-professional writer with a fair bit of experience.

And if you do ever respond to an ad for a writer, always respond with samples of your work. Animators want to see if you're talented and/or write in the style they are looking for. But no animator is going to go through the trouble of looking to see if you have some stories or scripts posted somewhere on NG unless they really, really want you. Also, be humble - don't say "I think I'm a great writer, so let me do it", just say "I'd like to write a script for you. Here's some of my work".

So get a body of work out there. And it doesn't have to be just scripts - short stories and poems are great ways to show off your creative talent to animators.

Good evening, fine Makers of Signatures. I would like to request a new Signature from your fine establishment.

I was wondering you could possibly fashion one from this picture or a similar one. Place him in the center of a white background, with the words "I'm not just gonna bang it, I'ma smash it too" on the left side, and the words "so let's just say I'm gonna smang it".

Here's the video inspiring this sig. If you could match the text in my sig to the text in the video, that would be awesome.

I would help organize and sort through all of this, but I feel like after a few days, I would fall into the same trap as Gum; just not enough time.

I say in order to have all of the submissions in one place, just have each author resubmit their entries in a specific way - in an MS word document attached to an email. You can create a new anthology email at any email service, and have all of the authors resend their works there. The authors who care will resend their works to the new email, the ones who don't really care won't, and the future submissions will be there. There's no worry about strange file types or looking at 3 different places for new submissions.

The only problem, of course, is contacting all of the authors and asking them to resend their stories. But that shouldn't be too hard, hopefully.

I would like to see this continued; it would be a great way to help kick off the Lit Portal - the Top 5 submissions or whatever at the end of the first week/month would receive a free NG Anthology and 5 random people who rate and review the stories will also win (the more "helpful" reviews, the more chances to win). That will help get people into the Lit Portal and submit, but also get people to read the stuff.

But even without that part, this would be a good way to show that this site is more than just flash movies and games; that creativity on this site isn't limited to music or drawing. That this is dedicated to all forms of art, including literature. This site may be popular with 13 year olds, but our 13 year olds are cultured and intelligent.

In order to get any help, you would need to post the script you're using, or a much more detailed overview of the plot. We can't help you if all post are the basics of your story.

That's an interesting little factoid, but.... how does it fit into the writing forum again?

It's a poem. About a girl. Just read it and tell me what you think.

While I was playing cards,
I met the Jacq of Hearts.
And from that moment on,
I knew we could never be apart.

We talked and we laughed
Day after day, night after night.
I fell in love with that Card
Because this Joker was my Knight.

We were both destroyed,
Rebuilding in this New Place
The Jacq of Hearts knew my pain
And could take it away with one embrace

But when I told her of my love,
This damned Joker laughed at me,
Saying that Cards couldn't love me,
Just think that I was friendly.

My Jacq of Hearts was supposed to be
My Full House, or at least my Pair.
But she was only my Kicker,
And to win this hand, I would need a prayer.

But I stayed in the game
And I kept my Card
Knowing she wouldn't be a Pair
But to let her go would be too hard.

And now I'm All In with no hope
And all I have now is my Kicker to hold.
If my Jacq of Hearts would just be my Pair,
I would have a reason not to fold.

----

I've been toying around with the idea for a little while now. It's far from perfect, but I figured I'd let Newgrounds have first crack at it

Before I jump in on the "stream of consciousness" debate, I would like to say that this is a fairly decent poem. Very emotional, very well written with some good literary devices, and while the rhymes are fairly generic and get lost at the end of the 2nd stanza, they're nice. overall, not a bad poem.

Now, as for the debate, I feel that a well-written and clear SoC is amazing, like in this poem Private (good old plug). The feelings are clear and the emotion is apparent. And this helped greatly in dealing with my own problems. On top of that, sometimes you just want to get your emotions out of your system, and trying to put it in rhyming lines can be difficult, and the emotion is lost. But that's just me; I find rhyming hard to do, so I would have to take my time and try to shoehorn rhymes in and I'd lose the feelings.

If you actually read the synopsis of the bill posted (which itself is biased), it says that a court must say that a website's centered around copyright infringement, ie the Pirate Bay.

Sites like Newgrounds, Youtube and others can safely say that a majority of their content is original (in the sense that whoever uploaded it mostly likely created it or edited it under fair-use)

At 10/28/10 02:12 AM, Shikamarana wrote: Once upon a time, there was a baker named Fred. Fred was a baker. He had a bakery. Fred the baker's bakery was called Fred the baker's bakery. One day, a girl walked into Fred the baker's bakery, Fred the baker's bakery,

Typo.

and she was getting married so she asked Fred the baker to make her a wedding cake.

It's bake her a wedding cake.

Fred talked to this lady, and they hit it off well. Her name was Ashley. Ashley became Fred's best friend and Fred developed a crush on her. One day, Ashley had a black eye and Fred asked her what happened and she said she didn't need the wedding cake anymore and then Fred said are you sure because I want you to marry me and then they got married and everyone lived happily ever after

You know, I thought this story was going to be different. It started off well with the constant repetition of "bake" and "bakery" and "Fred". But when you get to this part, it's a huge let down. Have Ashley be a similar character; she's got a job that repeats like Fred's job. And Ashley is marrying a guy who's job is also the type of career he's in. Then find a new ending that's less cheesy and more funny.

If you do that, it'll be good

At 10/26/10 11:33 PM, EZBAKE8 wrote: I can relate to this more than you know. If you would let me i would like to use this poem for my own needs.

Go ahead. Hell, if you want, you can say you wrote it.

And for who ever your writing this for then I would give it to them.

I'm still friends with this girl; I still want to be around her, and this isn't exactly a poem that's going to say that. I was actually thinking of adding something or making a new poem about how it sucks to be near her, but how I can't be away from her.

Because its freaking beautiful.

I honestly just put down what I was thinking and how I felt. Like I said, it's pure stream of consciousness with a few line breaks where commas would go.

Needless to say, I'm going through some emotional shit right now. More of a stream of consciousness than anything, I'm sure that some one out there will find this relevant.

----------------

You're the only person I've been around that's made me feel like I'm not alone.
You have no idea how much I love you
And I'm sure that I have no idea how much you love me.
But this is never going to work out
Because we want different things out a relationship
And the timing isn't right
And a million other reasons why I could never approach you to tell you
That I love you.
So go on
And be happy doing whatever you want
With whoever you want.
This isn't the first time I've sacrificed my happiness for someone else's
And you're too special to not be happy.
But I'll always be there
With my broken heart
And my tears
To make sure that you are always as happy as you can be.
Why else would I be near you?
So I could always think of how you're the only person I ever want to be with?
So I could always think of how I'm never going to be with you?
That would be masochistic of me
And you know that I've had too much pain in my life to want more.
So I'll just keep flirting
And being nice
And watching you from afar
In the hopes that one day you'll see me
Like I see you.
I just hope that when that day comes
The situation wouldn't have switched.

At 10/21/10 09:15 PM, Nev wrote: Killzone 3 wouldn't be a very goodd FPS if it was set in a time of peace.

It's as though the writers knew that, and they wanted Garza to kill Visari.

At 10/20/10 03:46 PM, iateamexican wrote: He basically wiped out the entire point of both games in about 3 seconds.

Maybe I'm not remembering the exact plot, as I haven't played either game in a while, but wasn't the point to kill/capture Visari? I mean, they were only trying to prevent the nuke from going off, which blew up anyway.

At 10/16/10 01:34 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: who cares he got webcammed as a prank and he offs himself? who cares. hell it was a sophmoric prank and they are trying to charge him with manslaughter. what a joke.

The charges would never stick. They would have to show that he had some kind of knowledge that doing that would cause the kids death.

Look, if gays were truly equal in modern society, as they should be, then people would get off of the gay thing and focus on the fact that these kids are killing themselves. Why not see if there's a been a history of mental illness or suicidal tendencies? What about a bad home life? Why doesn't the media or police look into that kind of stuff like they usually do with suicides? It's stupid.

A guy pulled a college prank on a kid, and the kid overreacted. So few people actually see that.

At 10/12/10 02:05 PM, Quinny wrote: Plus Subscribers are gettting the Killzone 3 BETA tomorrow. It's limited to 10,000 people so get in there quick.

That's a pro-tip worth wanking to. Of course, I won't get it, because when the store updates, I won't be around.

At 10/12/10 10:21 AM, Quinny wrote: Preordered Black Ops at my local game shop this morning, traded Uncharted 2 to pay a bit off it.

That's like selling your mother in order to buy more heroin.

His name is Master Beat

His powers? He has an incredibly strong right (or left, if that's how he rolls) arm. He can summon tissues in order to transport to other areas near-by (the tissue comes up, then drops, he's gone), to use as a shield, and capture criminals. He can lock any near-by door without touching it. Depending how dirty you want to be, he can use his dick as a baton, and shoot a web-like substance with a couple of pumps.

His weaknesses? People knocking on a bedroom door (more knocking in X square miles, less powerful). Gay porn (or straight porn, if that's how he rolls). He needs to be within X miles of lube in order to keep his superpowers (more lube, more powers, less lube, less powers). He can only fight for so long before he begins to chafe and has to stop before he begins to hurt himself.

Just so you know, no one is going to pay you if they don't have any samples of your work. Hell, they probably won't even ask you make a script if you don't post any work. No one wants to waste their time waiting on a script when they have no idea if the writer is any good.

Besides, most people wouldn't pay you to write unless you produce a lot of top-quality work, like HappyHarry and Chluaid.

Post some examples of what you've done, and do a lot of free work to get a good body of work behind you before you start getting paid.

Something I just wrote and spent about 5 minutes editing. For those offering editing help, the first letter of each line spells the girl's name, so that can't be changed. Otherwise, enjoy, and don't be afraid to tell me what I should change or fix.

-------------------

Just like a rain storm, she's
Advancing across the sky,
Circling above my head,
Quietly waiting for my reaction.

Underneath the cover,
Everything is safe and depressing, much
Like being a fish in muddy water.

I need the water, but I do
Not want to risk
Electrocution in order to drink.

So............. How's it going? Just stopping by to see what's going on...........

At 9/29/10 02:58 PM, Gagsy wrote:

At 9/29/10 12:43 PM, TheThing wrote:

I think it does, if you have the money. You get a free game each week (sometimes 2 free games), and plenty of discounts in the store. And you get early access to a few demos and add-ons, if you care about that sort of thing.

Thanks. I guess my real concern is whether I use my PS3 to warrent Plus. I get into game moods for a while where I'll be on it everyday then I just stop for up to months before I get in the mood again 3:

Everything is back cataloged, so games that were free or cheaper a month ago can still be gotten for the same price. There are only a few limited time incentives

At 9/29/10 02:13 AM, Gagsy wrote: Is Playstation Plus actually worth it?

I think it does, if you have the money. You get a free game each week (sometimes 2 free games), and plenty of discounts in the store. And you get early access to a few demos and add-ons, if you care about that sort of thing.

At 9/29/10 11:16 AM, iateamexican wrote: Until then, manly tears over childhood memories.

Sucks to be you. I still got all the original disks, cases and instruction booklets for all of those games (except Rayman and R&C; never really got into them). But yeah, those are great games that filled my childhood with glee.

At 9/27/10 04:02 PM, Bahamut wrote:

At 9/27/10 03:24 PM, TheThing wrote: I'm thinking about getting FIFA 11. But before you guys eviscerate me, it would be the first soccer game I've ever owned, so it's not like I'm buying the same shit year after year.

As much as I hate what EA Sports do with FIFA and Madden, that's good with me. I honestly don't mind those who get the odd FIFA game but those who get the games every year and actually queueing up for them on the day of release...

I agree, it's ridiculous to buy the new one each year. I'm in the camp that upgrades the game every few years. I just got the new Madden after 4 years since my previous one, and obviously haven't gotten a FIFA (or Pro Evo, for that matter) ever.

EA Sports originally had the right idea. As players switched teams in real life, a new game would be needed to account for this, which means every year a new one had to be released. Obviously, people wouldn't buy the new version if it was exactly the same with a few roster changes, so they tweaked it here and there. But that model is outdated with the invention of Broadband internet.

Now, they should just release a roster update (for a minimal fee) and offer the new upgraded features from the newest game (for another fee). I'm waiting to see that model, but probably won't until people stop buying the game EVERY FUCKING YEAR.

I'm thinking about getting FIFA 11. But before you guys eviscerate me, it would be the first soccer game I've ever owned, so it's not like I'm buying the same shit year after year.

At 9/26/10 08:14 PM, Makeshift wrote: Anyone getting Medal of Honor? I'll have it about a week after release.

I'm tempted. It seems like it'll have a great single player campaign (something Black Ops won't have) and a pretty good online mode (apparently it's based on Bad Company 2's). But at the same time, I've been let down by MoH so many times, I don't want to commit to it.

And Black Ops will never grace my video game collection. Call of Duty can suck my cock you overhyped piece of shit.

At 9/19/10 12:06 PM, TheMaster wrote: I've no interest in any of those hurr durr it's hard so it must be good games.

I agree. I imagine that there's some masochistic glee that occurs during the game, but if I wanted to get kicked in the nuts for 30 hours, I'll get a Dominatrix