At 4/22/09 10:59 PM, NadakaiKurai wrote: I like it but boy I can really see how this would offend some people I have to thank you man before I saw how popular you seem to be for these I thought I could never find my place,but now I found it I can make crappy drawings(no offense) with funny sayings too except well not stick just not good drawingslike mabey sticks with cloths and hair thats probably the best I could do without a tablet but Im getting off subject.Point is thanks to you I found my spot on NG till i get $700 I really like your comedy

haha... it probably would offend some people... but, it's the internet!

hey, no offense on the "crappy drawings" call... they're deliberately simplistic and simply provide a means of getting the message across. As long as you've got something funny/cool/weird to say, the message will carry the image (i hope!).

glad you feel like you belong here... it's a frikkin' crazy place, though... don't get too offended if someone decides to flame you. It will happen!

have a heavy metal birthday motherfucker!

good onya BMI... you're part of the glue keeping the metal section of the audio portal together.

\m/

We've known about it since time began... even before the hair started falling off of them about two million years ago. Men like boobs. Boys like tits. Fags like buttsex. More on that later.

Now scientists have discovered genetic data to back up the man-boob theory. It's called the Y-chromosome and the implications are that whoever has one really badly wants to grope, stroke, squeeze and fondle those sweet succulent boobies until the sticky white stuff squirts into my underpants and makes me want to start doing my own laundry for no reason in particular, thanks mum.

The scientists' "thorns in the (back)side" of this theory are the afore-mentioned butt-jabbing boys who have Y-chromosomes but seem to deny their inherent boob-cravings.

Scientists have postulated that this conundrum is due to external environmental factors such as:
1. Being dropped on their heads as babies
2. Being forced to play with Barbie dolls (tm)
3. Not watching Rambo (tm) as a kid, and instead watching faggy crap like The Care Bears (tm)
4. Being fed lies like "Hey, girls have rights too, you know..."

Needless to say, we scientists here at Blasphemedia will continue our arduous and time consuming research(*) into this matter.

On a final note, if you approve of all this low-brow boob-talk... listen to my latest audio submission, The Titty Ditty.
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(*) - Research may or may not involve staring at copious amounts of porn.

well... i'm over the deadline by 20 days... and over the 1-minute cut-off by 46 seconds... but i'm gonna post it anyway!

looks like this comp never got off the ground, which is sad, because the only kinds of songs I write are funny ones (as long as retarded is a version of funny).

seriously, though, I actually did write this song for this comp! Oh well...

The Titty Ditty

ok, look, I'm not proud of this... but I made a song called:

The Titty Ditty

It's got nothing on any one of the many well produced songs in the AP... but it's as funny as fuck.

Shout-out to all the metal heads on NG!

I've added some vox to Deathkllr84's track, Fists of Stone. This guy has really got his shit together and seems to get better with every track he posts!

Here's the track.

\m/ bard \m/

Well, I'm still pinching myself that "Lost my pants" made it on the frontpage the other week... and I didn't even realise till someone PM'd me!

How exactly are the front page items selected? Is there a panel of audiophiles or something?

I've written lyrics and added vocals to a super-heavy track written by PenguinBomb.

It is a real head fuck. If you like metal... especially if you like odd time signature music like Meshuggah or Fear Factory... then you might think this is alright.

Arctic Combustion.

\m/ stay metal \m/

At 9/30/08 04:43 PM, TheComet wrote:

At 9/30/08 11:35 AM, TheBardOfBlasphemy wrote: well, here's mine...

"lost my pants"

vox, guitar, bass... plus drums of course. And there's a cheesy vocal/guitar solo thing in there. It's in the rock genre and, as someone else pointed out, it's not really that hard to make a rock song with only 3 instruments. So big respect to all you electro-heads.... this challenge would have stretched you a bit more than me, i would say!

I hate to say it but I'm looking more for content created within the timeframe of the challenge, this one is from before the challenge was issued

ah, ok... sorry i didn't even think of that! i'm new to the challenge thing, though. Sorry! don't count that one then, it's no big deal.

well, here's mine...

"lost my pants"

vox, guitar, bass... plus drums of course. And there's a cheesy vocal/guitar solo thing in there. It's in the rock genre and, as someone else pointed out, it's not really that hard to make a rock song with only 3 instruments. So big respect to all you electro-heads.... this challenge would have stretched you a bit more than me, i would say!

You need to post 10 bands...
the ones you posted are pretty standard, but will get you in

Standard!!!! frikkin' hell... maybe it's coz i'm an old fart... those bands defined the standard in the 90s when i was cutting my teeth on metal.

10 bands... crap, sorry, obviously didn't read the rules properly... start again:

At the Gates
Opeth
Pantera
Metallica (pre-black)
Sepultura
Cradle of Filth
Dimmu Borgir
Fear Factory
Ministry
Strapping Young Lad

hmmmm.... looking over that list... crap, i AM old now, aren't? better grab the walking stick and turn up the hearing aid :P

Hey people... i've been meaning to join this club ever since I joined NG... metal rules!

Bands (just a few... otherwise this list would go on and on and on) :

At The Gates
Opeth
Pantera
Metallica (dare i say... pre-Black era?)
Sepultura

That's something like my top 5 but there's a couple of bands screaming to get up there.

About me: I play drums in a cover band (not metal though... shame) and record my own music too. If you wanna hear my death growls check out my latest song, Skullfucked.

well... i've thought about making an acoustic death metal song for ages... would that count?

need to get off my arse pretty quick though... that's a short deadline!

ooops! double post... that's a bit greedy of me.

I laid some vox down on FarCryDX's superbad heavy frikkin' metal song Skullfucked. It is frikkin evil... don't listen to it, seriously.

it doesn't occur often enough to warrant the extra code, but... i think there needs to be a censorship/rating like in the FP (eg, suitable for all ages, 13+ etc) for the level of swearing etc used in a song. The only reason I bring this up is: the last heavy metal song I posted has some very explicit, violent lyrics and I'm a bit concerned that little kiddies will have nightmares. Seriously.

I'd like to nominate myself, which is shit and self-serving but I wouldn't imagine being put forward otherwise.

I'm an old fart compared to the average age, being 28. I got into performing music though drumming years ago... I've been in a few bands in my time and I'm currently drumming in a supergreat cover band with lots of talent around me.

I picked up a guitar about a year ago and taught myself a few chords... without planning it I began to write songs that I would classify in the genre of "crap rock"... they are songs that I attempt to make people laugh with... humorous lyrics with simple rock riffs behind them. I got the itch to record some of them and i've posted a few here. All the instruments in my songs are played by me "live" except for the drums on a couple of the older ones, before I got enough mics to record a whole kit.

Not all my audio posts are funny songs. I've posted a couple of cover songs I recorded of my band plus I've done some death-growls for a FarCryDX track. I'm self nominating for my amusing music, not those others... so ignore "Welcome to Hell" "Tush" and "Joker and the Thief" in the context of my Underdog submission.

Ergh... self-promotion is icky. Thanks for reading.

if you like a laff... check it out... my latest track in the unrealised genre of crap-rock (with humorous lyrics)

johnny's little secret

holy crap i just about pissed myself laughing at some of these... you rock!

more!

i think you need to give us some more information... after 12 hours no one has replied because your post was not very clear.

i'm pretty sure english isn't your first language though, so it's not all your fault.

are you having the problem once you put the sound into flash, or is the problem happening in the sound program?

it's only a guess... but the "static" sound could be digital clipping. It happens when your sound tracks, when combined, make the total volume too loud and cause a nasty distorted sound.

that's just a guess though. To test... make reduce the volume on every track (on every separate sound) and see if that helps.

does this make sense?

i think it really is too short and doesn't really cover how to tune drums... it just discusses the idea that all the lugs need to be at the same tension along with a couple of other pointers.

I mean, you're making a "how to tune toms guide" and then introduce the topic by saying "it doesn't really matter what tone you tune them to". There are particular tones when tuning toms... they can go from muddy to crisp to mega-resonating... finding the right tone can be a real bitch, especially considering the relationship in tension between the top and bottom skins also factors into this (as Zenon mentioned).

what really cheeses me is that this post is really just a repost of the same thing, from about a week ago or something, when you asked the same thing...

At 8/4/08 10:46 AM, Chronamut wrote:

At 8/4/08 09:01 AM, DJBrixX wrote: suggestion that is suggested at least once a week.

Need I say more?

LURK MOAR!

lol, yeah, but at least it was a suggestion that was suggested at least once a week in this thread rather than being a new topic posted with the title "hey I've got a great idea to fix the AP!"

Seriously though... the AP fix thread and this one are so huge now... who on earth could be arsed reading through the repetition? The Audio Forum almost needs a new "sticky" thread at the top saying "New users... also read this first" with a concise summary of all the main ideas that have been suggested to avoid even more repetition.

Having said that, some people just like to say their piece. I mean, the suggestion I just suggested is also most probably suggested at least once a week!

aaaah! too many suggestions!

i'm not sure if my vox fit into the "black metal" genre or something else... if you want to have a listen and decide for yourself you could listen to a FarCryDX track I did some growling on, Welcome to Hell.

Let me know what you think.

At 8/3/08 06:26 PM, flashmasterturner wrote: This is an attept at a guide to tune tom toms on your drumset please give me feed back on how you think I did.

ha, yeah... ummm... it's pretty short! I could say that you've covered the extreme basics of the whole process but I really wanted more. Don't get me wrong: nothing you said was incorrect... but the things unsaid were fairly large!

Some essentials that I would've included:
* with a new skin, "crack" the head by tightening up fairly high, putting some pressure in the middle of the skin... often the head will make a cracking noise as the glue joint stretche (if there is one)... this helps for getting even tension later
* tune up evenly around the lugs... maybe 1/2 a turn per lug in a star shape is ok... or use two keys on opposite sides and go around.
* tune the head too low and the head will buzz... need to tune up a notch as the head isn't seated properly (and it will sound crap anyhow)

There's probably other things that could go there. Personally I got a lot of ideas as well as headaches from reading Professor Sound's Drum Tuning Bible... the headaches came because it is very very technical... and sometimes you just want a bit of advice, not a whole frikkin' encyclopedia. One essential idea I took out of his site was "tune up high and then drop the lugs down gradually till you hit the sweet spot"... then later on I found advice on the Pearl Drummers Forum quoting advice exactly the opposite. So it really is the case that you should do what works best for you!

Moral of the story: just do it... a lot. (This moral applies to many situations... I'm sure you can think of others!)

I am going to do a snare tunning guide soon so I would like to know how to improve this guide to make the next one better thanks

More detail! But that's just my opinion. Good on ya for having a shot at it.

At 8/4/08 08:08 AM, Satoris wrote: Eh...Kinda yes and kinda no. The point to tuning your toms is so that you don't have to go buy a new head in two weeks. You can have whatever sound you like from a tom drum and it'll still be considered "tuned." Just remember the KEY to tuning drums is asking yourself "How long can I make this head last?"

what!?!? no!!! I can believe I just read that. If that was the case then you might as well glue some extra thick cardboard to your heads "to make them last that bit longer"... who cares what tone it's putting out!

I mean, sure, if you wind your lugs to hell and back till the head is tighter than a nun you will not get a long life from that head, but it would probably sound like shit too.

there are two tricky things about tuning a tom well (imho): getting the right tone to stand out in any particular drum... and, much harder (again, imho) is the job of getting all the toms to sound in tune with each other. Couldn't tell you how many times I thought I had everything dialled in sweet and then did a few drum-fills only to realise that the tones of two or more drums went muddy together.

I'm with ZENON though, reading the "how to" guides can be really frustrating... better off learning through experience. The problem is that, as a drummer, you don't need to tune up before every jam like a guitarist does and so the kit rarely gets tuned (if you're a lazy arse like me). The people who know how to dial in a kit are usually roadies or studio techs who have to tune all kinds of drums every day.

having said/ranted/blah'd all that crap... i'll check your guide out in a bit and let you know.

Piccy of my kit... *sigh*... I'd dry-hump it right now if I wasn't so damn busy.

I'm not getting involved in this debate... too heavy for my light-heart... but if this link hasn't been posted in this topic before it really needs to:

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

This should clear up any questions you have about whether or not Intelligent Design is the right choice of religious doctrine for you.

At 8/2/08 11:33 PM, Corky52 wrote:

He understands now. Before he knew how to recommend the movie, but couldn't find exactly where the right section was that he wanted to recommend something too. I pointed him in the right place with my posts and then he stated that he understood with his last post.

Yes, thanks to both of you... in hindsight what Idiot-Buster said makes sense, it's just that I didn't see that section right right right down the bottom, hence my "blind retard" comment thing... cheers to Corky for being so precise and cheers to both of you for the help!

ahhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiittTTTTTT TTTTT T T

I am so sorry... god, what a weiner I am... a blind weiner turd...

if only there was a way of self-blamming retarded forum-posts...

yeah, but the music videos aren't in the Collection section, they're in the Toon section right here, to be precise and linkylicious.

So how does stuff get into the Toon section?

sorry, it's probably been asked before... but how does a "music video" style of flash end up in the Music Video section of Flash Toons?

I thought it would've been done through "recommend for a collection" however there isn't really an option in there that fits what I'm thinking of... except maybe "songs to wear pants to" (???)

ha, i hate to admit it (and may get all sorts of 0-bombs & hate mail) but I'm a school teacher... not a very good one either... too slack with the kids...

I would love to do this, so much funny shit gets said in my classes (that I tend to pretend not to hear rather than have to make a big deal out of some of it) and the general class noise could make good sounds too...

i think there'd be legal issues with it though... schools are highly regulated environments... if i wanted to do any of it I would have to get every student to sign a disclaimer or something. Too hard :P