Silicone vs. Water-based lubricants - Sean, Age 31
Lube is the key to good anal sex. But you don't necessarily need to use a vat of it every time.
I highly recommend getting a silicone-based lubricant for anal sex. Water based lubricants can dry out and make things stickier and messier than they need to be. A good silicone-based lubricant like Eros or Wet Platinum will work wonders.
It only takes a small amount and you will be lubricated for hours. I was sold the day I went to buy some lube and the guy at the store put a small drop on my fingers. He told me to rub them together and to come back when it wore off. Thirty minutes later, I was at the cash register.
If you are going to use water-based lubricant, more isn't necessarily better. Water-based lubes dry out as they evaporate. Keep a small bottle of water next to the bed. Sometimes instead of more lubricant you just need to reactivate the lube you have with a couple of drops of water.
I like to use a misting bottle as the sensation of a cool mist of water both helps to keep the lubricant active, but also feels good on your partner and helps them relax. A nice mist can be quite sexual and adds to the overall effect of taking your partner into consideration.
Tongue first - DJ, London, Age 40
My wife never liked to play with anus. But I slowly started to caress her anus during foreplay. She started to like it. Now whenever I start sex, I first eat her vagina and then slowly down to the anus. When she starts moaning, I turn her to face her anus up and starts tongue fucking her anus. this might take about ten to fifteen minutes. She loves this so much. Now is the time to alternate with the finger, but very slowly.
After couple of minutes, I rub lots of jelly (water-based) on my penis and on her anus as well. This time slowly the head goes and keep it there for a while. Now slowly I push forward and leave it there. Now is the time to fuck her slowly, sometimes stimulating her clitoris and rubbing it. A great sensation, she loves it and moans for it. I finally empties my sperm in her rectum. She says she now loves it more than the vaginal sex. You need lots of patience.
Thank about her - Los Angeles, Age 38
I disagree with some of the things the guys say and agree with everything the women say. Anal sex can be very special, but only with a woman who really enjoys it. If she is lying there not responding (a total turnoff), then she is tolerating it, meaning she is either not being stimulated or is in pain and not telling you. Watching porn videos is not the way to go, and spit is not enough.
The woman should be in charge, telling you when to go, how far to go, and most importantly, when you should stop! When she says stop, stop right then. She will feel in control and know she can trust you. Stop doesn't mean stop forever, it means stop for the moment until she relaxes, or for the time being. If you don't, don't be surprised if it is your last time with her. Stimulating her is very important while doing it; she will get to the point where she will stimulate herself while you are doing it, but you need to be aware of her at all times while you are in never-never land. Believe me, she will know when you are only focusing on your own pleasure at her expense.
Lastly, the guy who said anal sex is a good alternative for birth control is dead wrong. It's easy to get pregnant from semen leaving the rectum and entering the vagina. Birth control should be used anyway.
Remember, she is in charge, and if you forget this, let her put on a strap-on and ream you sometime, stud. You'll get the picture real fast!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----
Inch by inch - Vince, UK, Age 39
Always make sure that you apply plenty of lubrication. I find that using baby oil is excellent (and plenty of it), only attempt anal sex after lots of foreplay and vaginal penetration. I find that the best position for the woman's comfort is the missionary. Very slowly push the tip of your penis in about an inch and then STOP, wait for about a minute, ease out slightly and then slowly push forward again this time inserting about 2 inches and then wait again.
