Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

The desire for pussy (or dick, if you swing like that) overcomes everything else.

Natick, Boomstick, Amaranthus, Tom Fulp, Asandir, TurkeyonaStick, SCTE3, Piggler (Is he even still around?), IdiotFinder, Suprememessage, EyeLovePoozy, poinl.

Here is my take on how to date for all you studs out there in the NGverse looking to hook up with the partner of your dreams. Suprememessage is the dream machine, raking in the love of millions of naked followers, and if you wish to imitate my success, please feel inclined to keep reading, my hunkalicious cohorts.

So here's the step-by-step

1.) Acquire Vaseline, coat yourself in it

2.) Pick a public place, somewhere lots of people go.

3.) Get naked, cover yourself in Vaseline and move yourself to this public location.

4.) Rub your junk on as many passerby as possible.

5.) Whoever doesn't fight back is the one. Throw them in a burlap sack and bring them somewhere isolated, preferably a desert. Take them out of the sack, stand them up, and propose. If they say no, shoot them, bury them, and go back to step one.

This is a tried and true method, recommended by three out of five experts on agreeing with me.

What I want to know is how this worked for you. I am very passionate about the satisfaction of every user who reads my threads, and as such, your feedback is a key oil that lubes up the inner workings and allows the gears to grind one another until the universe runs out of energy and existence stops.

Please post pictures of your hot steamy lovers. I love to hear success stories. <3

At 10/22/14 05:14 PM, ZE13 wrote:

At 10/21/14 02:14 PM, Suprememessage wrote: I have had several. For example, a while ago I snapped for no reason and stabbed myself in the arm with a flip knife. <3

Can you any of you people relate?

yes

"Yes" - ZE13 (The Messiah)

This expresses a deeply troubled soul that has many qualms with the universe as we know it.. No text has better captured the passion and emotion of a soul burning from the inside and simply screaming to get out, wherein they can only hear themselves. You are an inspiration. <3

I have had several. For example, a while ago I snapped for no reason and stabbed myself in the arm with a flip knife. <3

Can you any of you people relate?

Fox is much worse than every other station, including saying things like that we should have a world militia that are paid to kill Arabs.

Fox is just a line of douchebags and honestly they can all die in a fire. <3

I'm not going to lie, I want that game, seriously.

It reminds me of a mod for L4D2 I love called Anti-Riot mod where instead of survivors killing zombies you play as a bunch of riot police beating down civilians. <3

OP is a Xx1337_NoScope1337Mastor_Hax0r314Xx

At 10/19/14 03:28 PM, Lionelion wrote:

At 10/19/14 02:45 PM, Pixelwiz wrote:

Why do some people who joined in 2014 already have 1500+ posts? It just seems ridiculous.

Because they have no life

What would you honestly do with a drunken sailor?

...Dont answer that, a rhetorical question

Okay instead I'll answer another question. To get a sailor drunk I'd replace all their spare love juice with vodka.

Would you prefer to be on top or bottom in a pile of dead bodies where you're the only one alive?

I got prescribed anti-depressants, and have been taking them for a few months now. All I can really say is that from my perspective they make me drowsy, although my friends and such say they make me a bit more happy, or at least less anxious looking, when they're around me. <3

Fascinating. I could have been on this list if I kept up the rate of posting I did when I first signed up, I was making about twelve posts per day.

I get really stressed from around noon to five O'Clock, then I can settle down and release all that tension with some lovely caffeine. <3

Why would I want to do that?! There's nothing in it for me if I simply end the world. Instead, I'd rather simply acquire the means to end it and then through use of force become the world's dictator so I can have everything I want. <3

Somebody should draw me as a brutal dictator.

Or a dick-tator, hue

I did it.

Every post in the Politics Forum.

It would be great if OP had Ebola.

Hysteria hype

When I sit down and eat another human being, dread locks make me upset.

At 10/17/14 07:46 PM, MMHM wrote: Monster 64

He eats cactus and doesn't afraid of anything.

I'm a cactus you racist bastard!

At 10/15/14 05:38 PM, poinl wrote:

At 10/13/14 08:16 AM, poinl wrote: too lazy to look, did anyone ever draw me?

i looked

I drew you.

I always thought of pink as a masculine color because it's the color of your viscera. <3

My birth name, Colt Austin, means "Venerable One from the dark town"

Basically I'm Charasmatic Satan.

What about you, Newgrounds?

At 10/16/14 08:25 PM, MMHM wrote: Are we talking modern day prosthetics, or like Deus Ex level prosthetics?

Modern.

Or if you prefer to swing that way you could get a pirate peg leg, just to make 'wood' puns and do NG proud.

If you were offered the following deal, would you accept?

The Deal

You will lose all of your limbs. However, they will be replaced by prosthetics for free, and you will gain five million dollars (Or your currency equivalent).

Would you do it?

Personally I think I would. There's more gain than loss.

Very nice. I wish we could add a feature where you would press a button to eject a shiv from the computers of the users you don't like so it'll stab em'.

You're not currently bleeding out of every orifice so I'm sure you'll be just fine, champ.

At 10/16/14 09:08 AM, tommo5652 wrote: Why not simply get a human of the opposite sex, (or same sex if you are that way inclined), and get them to bite your tongue or lip, pleasure and pain without the emo-ness

I'm not at all emo, and it has nothing to do with the pleasure or pain. It almost developed into a thought like that spontaneously.

I'm not depressed or anything.

It's weird, I know, but this is not a joke. What's weird is that the very specific idea of cutting my tongue open by sticking it in a can and slicing it on the aluminum edge is compelling to me, it's stuck in my head. Of course the idea of being hurt like that isn't very pleasant but somehow I still can't get the thought out of my head. I can almost feel it on my tongue.

Have you ever had an experience like this?

Pepsi.

Infuriated masturbation by all the otakus where they form into a giant ball and share their hentai with one-another.