Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

Chevy Chase, cuz while Rodney was doing every to be funny, Chevy only had to be himself to achieve that :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyophYBP_
w4

This topic is becoming retarded, and I'm becoming retarded by reading it!
Oh My GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

I'd like a proper sequel to the original Paper Mario; none of that Rogueport magic hearts BS. The first PM was distinctly Mario and had way more charm than Thousand Year Door or SPM in my opinion, plus way better characters.
Oh and definitely more God Hand goodness, and AN ACTUAL GITAROO-MAN SEQUEL NOT A PORT!!!!

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
White-Trash Black Belt
Stopped your mother's one-night stand in order to get some much-needed sleep.

At 7/29/10 10:46 PM, Gustavos wrote: I, Diddy Kong, will take my good-for-nothing bitch with me to go save him! And we're off!

And I'm gonna be using various retarded animals to beat all kinds of anthropomorphic a**es from vultures to f***ing skeleton swords and all to a b***hin' calypso soundtrack!!

At 7/29/10 07:26 PM, KeroKeroMario wrote: Tired of squealing 10 year olds on Xbox Live? Try the Mute Button -- God's Gift to Online Gaming!

Seriously, people forget that they have that option. And that applies to people who tell others to shut up. It's called Mute, people!

I agree with the last guy(s). Seriously you gotta eat man. Eat some candy bars and cheese, start out small if your body in all honesty can't digest calories. How the h**l does that happen anyway?
And don't give us s**t about not having the time to work with it. People snack at work all the time and you should do the same. If it's still too much for you I say get I.V. treatment until this thing gets resolved. Change begins with you dude. Realize that.

At 7/29/10 11:53 PM, letiger wrote: I think the internet is for it.

Oh yes.

I second that.

I'm gonna wait a while after Reach comes out before I get it or not; after ODST I'm more wary of being jipped $60 for only 3 hours of campaign, though the multiplayer this time around doesn't look as disappointing. Maybe after I get Dead Rising 2 :P

I dunno, but lucky for you I have the common sense not to show off something I'm not particularly good at. D***it I'm a story-teller not a poet!

My turn:
-1990?: First exposure to video games in the form of Metroid and Super Mario Brothers, me sucking at the former.
-1995?: Age of SNES and Genesis. Favorites were Donkey Kong and Mega Man X. Began making friends who had better games to play.
-1998?: My life of gaming is further cemented through N64 and games of Mario Party, Super Mario 64, Star Fox and Paper Mario, as well as Playstation's Spyro, Tomba, Crash, and Ape Escape. Consequently Shadows of the Empire got me into Star Wars :3
-2002: Gamecube and PS2 further my gaming prowess, though being a noob I still used strategy guides :'(
-2004: Advent of the Xbox and Halo. Would later turn one of my friends into a Halo fan-fic writer.
-2006-07: 360 and Wii enter the scene. I finally stop using strategy guides :3
-2008: Exposed to PC games as viable form of gaming, leading to emulators and freeware games like Cave Story and I Wanna Be The Guy.
-2009: Summer of Touhou... and when I began to lose my mind as a result XP
-2010: Recovered from impact of Touhou, but PC shooters still remain among my current favorites. Waiting for Dead Rising 2; Halo Reach ain't got s**t on paddle board chainsaws.

Azel from God Hand. He's your rival; he has the same b***hin' powers you do, which are actually more powerful than yours cuz he wipes out three boss characters with one hand lunge. Super fast, super slick, and his battle theme has to one of the sickest themes in all video-gamedom. Shame you only fight him twice, but twice is probably all you can handle from this guy. He's not the Devil Hand just by being a wuss.

At 7/21/10 10:25 PM, PeterBarton wrote:

At 7/20/10 08:37 PM, Squishy69 wrote: Glad to help either way Deathcon. I just hope none of my stories wind up in that majority :'(

Then keep writing and aim to make your writings better and better.

K I'll do that. Though I was kinda joking with the worry.

The world must know that Newgrounds is a force not to be f**ked with. First the documentary and now this. Pull together my brothers and sisters; the day of Newgrounds becoming a globally-recognized entity is nigh! NIGH I TELL YOU!!
(So yeah I voted, and I'm gonna do the same everyday ^_^)

I have no frickin' idea what this Stickam is. Is it Twitter with video?

I'd do it gleefully, but be professional for the most part. Occasionally I'll take one or a group of random souls and do a little game or have a little talk to either put them at ease or make them squirm. And of course I'll take advantage of the unlimited travel ability and see the world, in different seasons, different weather, and all that jazz. Depending on my mood I may make myself known to the world in the form of a great "evil" and challenge brave warriors to face me thus making me into a JRPG final boss. In all I'd just have fun with the role while still doing the tasks involved.

Glad to help either way Deathcon. I just hope none of my stories wind up in that majority :'(

Don't have this game; I never shop for crap.

At 7/19/10 02:49 PM, SuperGeno wrote: Super Mario RPG. How many of you actually own the real cartredge?

I do ;)

Also I seriously dig Gitaroo-Man, and Space Channel 5. Basically any good rhythm game.

I prefer vicar cuz they're thicker.

At 7/20/10 01:03 AM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote: Doggy style. Seriously. Missionary position is only effective if you don't enjoy it.

Have to agree with Alchemist, though only because research has shown that there's a higher chance of getting pregnant that way.

Fluffy and adorable kitty DAAAWWWWWWWWW.

Anyway, I say call her Peaches.

At 7/19/10 10:04 PM, Deathcon7 wrote: Bored

So I'm finding it harder and harder to offer real critic are here. With the large influx of gag inducing poetry, and poorly written exposition, offering critique seems counter productive. I'm feeling like: perhaps if I just ignore it all and stifle the impulse to judge and criticize, maybe it'll go away.

Part of me wishes I didn't feel this way because I feel like I'm useful here; my insight helps people improve their craft. At the same time, it becomes extremely repetitive when everyone is constantly making the same mistakes, and writing the same way, and all of it crappy. I can only tell people so many times to fix their grammar, or write like they want to express something, and not just transcribe their favorite movie scenes.

In so many words I'm asking for a reason to continue trudging through the drudgery. Anyone got any words of encouragement? I'm all tuckered out.

For goodness sake keep judging! Keep critiquing!! Even if bunches of people you help repeat mistakes your critique is bound to stick to a few. You're one of the several who help prevent crap from being posted on FanFiction.net, and anyone who spares me brain-melting slash pairings is an invaluable asset to the internet. If people are not listening then focus on those who make some progress each time you point out their mistakes.
In this day and age critics are needed to prevent people from making and seeing/reading garbage. You and the other experts here on the site have helped me maintain my writing spirit, and because of that I wound up with an honorable mention after two flops. That's the kind of progress that makes being a critic all the more rewarding.
If criticizing has become tiring take a break. Write your own poetry and stories, that way you can show others precisely how it's done rather than tell them. Your work is greatly appreciated ;)

Kachua from Sin & Punishment; all she does is hover around and toss flunkies and other assorted wreckage your way, then gets easily dispatched with one slash of your blade. Her second form is not as easy, but I still took time to enjoy blasting away her literal meatshields :D

At 7/19/10 11:53 PM, Valjylmyr wrote: Because age is totally a direct interpretation of a player's skill.

True dat. And it saddens me that there are so many of them playing M-rated games like these, only because most of these 12 and 13 year olds cuss like they were out of high school. That there is the real sad factor about the whole thing.

To clear something up Brian I meant that you could write up a completely fresh story that has no times with any other story you've written. Aside from that, you could condense the whole thing and show a part of it like the other guy said. Speaking of condense you should consider removing those spaces between the lines of dialogue; it may add a bit more strain to your eyes but it reduces post size, and so long as there are quotation marks readers will know when someone's talking.

Reengaging the thrusters Dex flies to the city harbor near a colossal metal statue. Pushing a switch the bottom of his ship opens and a magnetic grapple beam shoots out at the statue, hooking onto the base of its neck. Pulling back the ship rips the statue clean from its knees, and immediately Dex makes his ship with statue attached spin in horizontal circles.
"Yo Lance! Try dodging this!" Dex shouted as he disengages the grapple beam, sending the airborne statue soaring toward Lance.
"Holy-!!" was Lance's immediate reaction to the massive metal idol flying right at him, but immediately after he flips a switch and sends a missile off. The missile explodes upon colliding with the statue, blasting it into dozens of large pieces that fall all around the city's harbor.
"Is that all you got Dex? Pretty desperate I'd say," taunted Lance, to which Dex brings his ship up several dozen feet.
"Oh yeah? You're out of missiles hot shot, I got something real special for you," Dex said as he types in a command into the console. Below the bow of his ship two plates slide aside and a large cannon emerges and locks into place, and from its cylinder a massive stream of fire erupts to form a huge stationary fireball.
"Napalm flamethrower more to your liking Lance? Temps so hot your shielding will go out in seconds, along with your wimpy ship!"
"Hold on; you installed a flamethrower on a space fighter??" said Lance disbelievingly.
"What can I say: I'm savage." Dex fires off a few more bursts of flame. "Ready or not here it comes!"
Dex charges his ship at Lance with the flamethrower set to constant. Lance spins his ship around and takes off to escape the approaching heat as Dex laughs. Now the pursued for a change Lance heads back out to sea with Dex's ridiculous flamethrower following behind, and coming in sight of land the blue warp aura surrounds the ships and away they go.

Sodom and Gomorrah
Genesis 19:24

Lance drops the Tristar down over an arid region and towards two primitive towns. As Lance flies over the towns Dex gives chase, his flamethrower incinerating everything below as he passes over. Lance makes for a distant mountain range as the warp activates again, but not before a stray bit of flame catches a fleeing woman outside the towns.

Gesher Benot Ya'akov, Israel
788,000 BC

The fighters zip over some mountains and down toward a river. The flamethrower on Dex's ship sputters and the endless fire stream starts diminishing.
"Shit, out of fuel already? Dammit," Dex said angrily as the fire goes out, a lone glob of flaming jelly fuel falling from the device and onto a tree next to the riverbank, setting it aflame before a group of frightened and crudely-dressed people. Dex switches back to his laser battery and fires at Lance as warp occurs.

Yucatan Peninsula
65,500,000 BC
Flying up into cloudy skies Lance brings the Tristar into a steep ascent and races into the stratosphere to escape the laser barrage. Going higher and higher up Lance dodges the pursuing Dex's lasers, but one at last scores a hit to the rightmost engine forcing the small fighter to drastically lose speed. Smoke trailing from the Tristar Lance manages to push his damaged ship out of the planet's atmosphere and some ways into the vacuum of space before Dex passes him to block his escape. Turning to face his quarry Dex revels in the moment.
"End of the line old buddy. Before you're reduced to space dust I just want you to know that even back in the academy you've always been a sore on my ass." The laser cannons along the wings power up for a finishing barrage. "So long, Lance!"
The firing sequence gets delayed when a warning goes off in the cockpit.
"Warning: Large Object Fast Approaching From Above Rear," spoke the female-voiced warning system.
"Another damn interruption?" Dex was back to being annoyed. "I got no time for this! It's probably some freakin' reinforcements to help Lance, but you're too late assholes!"
The console shoots up a holo-screen displaying a massive hunk of rock careening from above. Dex's eyes pop wide open seeing this, and stretching forward he looks up out of the viewscreen to see the asteroid falling right down on him.
"What the F-!?" was all that he could shout before the asteroid smashes into him, cutting off the techno-rock that had been playing through the Tristar's speakers. The asteroid passes Lance and plummets toward the planet, gaining speed and erupting into flame as it entered the atmosphere. Several seconds later the asteroid impacts and creates a massive hell-storm of fire and dirt with a shockwave tearing over surrounding land and ocean.
Lance sits back in his chair and takes a moment to catch his breath after the close call, relieved that the battle was finally over. The damaged ship drifts in silence, and when the planet comes into full view Lance saw that the dust cloud of the impact had spread over much of the surface.
"There goes the planet..." Lance quietly said to himself. "It's probably for the best with that war going on. Still, strange backwater place that's for sure; all those different building types. You have to wonder what kind of-"
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa there chief! No time to relax just yet."
Lance is stirred from his outer monologue when he spots an average-looking man wearing black glide in front of his ship and just hover there. Stranger still, the man's voice came over the cockpit speakers as clear as if he were right there with him.
"Quite a sight, huh? The impact I mean. You should be feeling lucky seeing history in the making."
"Who, what are you??"
"What do you think? I'm a Time Lord. Okay not really; I'm nowhere near British enough for that title."
"Huh???"
"Can't hear me so well friend? You can just read what I said on your console."
Baffled Lance looks down at his console to see that everything the mystery man had said was in fact on screen, along with a portrait of the person plus title and name:
--Shooter-Minded Time Enigma--
Acero
"I'm also a Techno-mancer*," said the man as he resumed talking (*see Shadowrun). "Actually I'm not; I can just hack any dang thing I want."
Lance couldn't think up a single reply.
"You and that friend of yours really made a mess time-traveling all over the place. The sort of mess that'd cause a Sound of Thunder incident but luckily you two preserved history, as hard to imagine as that is."
"W-wait, time-traveling?? What are you talking about???"
"Admittedly certain 'powers' such as myself did arrange to set this event in motion so any chronological damages done cannot be blamed on you. But since you're here why not show me those fancy piloting skills that got you this far? A test of mettle so to say, and maybe one that will grant you some answers. But not without a proper mood-setter."
Despite the vacuum of space the man snaps his fingers and the sound carries into the cockpit along with a rock-symphony. A song name is brought up on the console:
-\o Japanese Treasure~Ideal Glosbeak -\o
Utterly confused and frightened Lance looks back at the man to see that a great white aura has formed around him.
"You put up a decent fight earlier. Now Try to Extra Stage!"
"What the Hell's Going ON????!!!!"
---------------
Neither Lance nor Dex were ever heard from again...

Seconds later the melancholy ends when Lance spots activity on the ship. Through the trailing smoke Lance saw that much of the upper portion of the ship was rattling and rising, then in an instant one third of the ship bursts out and shoots straight up into the atmosphere. It passes Lance's level and soars up as a yell comes over the comms:
"LAAAAAANCE!!!!"
The ship portion stabilizes well above the Tristar, and despite the size Lance could tell it was a very large bulky fighter in the shape of the most jagged bloated V he ever saw.
"Dex?" Lance asked despite knowing the answer.
"Ah, so it really is you." Dex sounded pleased as well as extra gruff through the speakers. "It has been a long time my brother... in arms."
"Former brother in arms," Lance sternly corrected. "Our friendship ended the minute you left the federation!"
"Don't give me that. I left because my talents were underutilized and I wanted to show them what they could've had."
"No; you left because you're an impatient SOB who expects prestige to be handed to him regardless of talent!"
"Oww, Lance that truly hurts, especially coming from an old friend."
"We aren't friends Dex, not after what you've done. And it's time I ended your pirate days once and for all!"
"Heh. Always the goody-goody. Very well bitch, I'll murder that space dingy with my SDM Dex Custom-03."
"You named your ships after yourself? Talk about an ego."
"Oh yeah? Like your crap ship has something better to go by! Anyway, get ready to die asswipe!" Dex cried as he put on some techno-rock to intensify the mood.
"Likewise, dick!!" was Lance's equally offensive response.
The skies nearly clear of smoke from the falling ship the fighters thrust forward to do battle. Dex unleashes a barrage of red lasers at Lance, who deftly barrel rolls to dodge them all while shooting forward under Dex. Lance pulls off a half loop and lines up to face Dex's rear with guns ready.
"Ya little sissy! If ya wanna play keep-away then I'm game!" Dex challenged as he activates his bulky fighter's thrusters and speeds off toward the horizon. Lance does the same and a chase is on, yet shortly after some sparks flicker on the top of Dex's ship and the familiar blue light appears in front of him.
"What the?? The WID was installed on my escape fighter? Those idiots!!" Was all Dex could shout before warp initiated and both he and Lance disappear once more.

Hiroshima, Japan
1945 AD

The two fighters burst from warp and jet at a downward angle, breaking through some clouds and flying straight toward a city. After passing the city limits Lance prepares to fire his lasers when a great flash erupts from the city center, followed by a violent fiery mushroom cloud. Lance gets disoriented by the blast but manages to see Dex plow straight into the newly formed cloud. Lance focuses and follows him into the smoke, the radiation and heat sensors going crazy. Searching through the hot smoke and radioactive ash Lance couldn't spot Dex, but then some lasers go past his cockpit window grazing the hull.
"Peekaboo, Lance!" Said Dex over the comms as his fighter broke from a smoke bank and charged at the Tristar. Lance pulls back hard to stop his ship in time to let Dex's ship pass by feet from him, and once clear he reengages the boosters and goes after him. Following close behind the Tristar leaves the mushroom cloud and back into open sky with Dex in plain sight. Before Lance can fire Dex's ship initiates warp and soon the two ships blink out as they pass beneath a silver four engine plane.

Washington D.C., USA
1814 AD

A city in flames greets the arriving fighters, this one with rustic-looking buildings. Lance fires some lasers but Dex dodges them, soaring into the smoke-filled night sky. The ship turns to face the Tristar with Dex's laugh filling the comms.
"Didn't think my baby was so quick, didja?" he gloated.
"Let's see your fat ass dodge a missile big guy," was Lance's comeback.
"Try if you must, loser," taunted Dex before sending his ship into a sharp dive. Lance does the same and gets on Dex's tail, firing a missile as the altitude quickly dropped. Dex immediately pulls out of his sharp dive, making the missile plow straight into the ground behind a burning ornate white building. Lance curses under his breath and levels out of the dive to pursue Dex, and after flying clear of the smoky airspace the warp kicks in and the two are whisked off again.

Sea of Japan
1281 AD

Dex and Lance re-enter over stormy seas as both are pelted by rain and fierce wind. Dex turns his ship 180 degrees to face the Tristar while hovering backwards beneath the charcoal-black clouds.
"Enough with the pussy-footing; it's time to bring the thunder BABY!!"
The tips of Dex's fighter's wings light up and suddenly two huge laser streams erupt from them, accompanied by jagged bolts of lightning from the skies above. The laser streams slowly redirect down and forward at Lance as smaller lasers fire from the front of the ship to Dex's maniacal laughter. Lance bobs and weaves to avoid the smaller lasers as his maneuvering room tightens with the approaching huge lasers. The two large laser manage to obliterate several hapless wooden ships below before a bolt of lightning strikes Dex's ship, shorting out the electronics long enough to cut off the two massive death beams.
"Shit!" Dex cursed just as some return fire from Lance managed to hit one of his wings, at which point he repeats himself before turning around to flee again. Engaging the extra thrusters both Dex and Lance blast off out of the storm and over clear open ocean clocking at 8800 kilometers per hour before another warp kicks in.

Rhodes, Greece
226 BC

The fighters blast in over a stretch of ocean and reach an island with a city. Dex pulls back the thrusters and ducks slightly to let Lance fly over and past him, who upon realizing the ploy rotates his ship to face Dex once again.
"What to do with you now," Dex deliberated to himself, then looking out of cockpit viewscreen his eyes catch something of great interest, to which he says rather menacingly,
"That can work."

Earth
2010 AD

A blast of white and blue light hails the return of Dex's capital ship into normal space. The void of space around them was untouched and a far cry from the chaos of the battle they just left. On the bridge there was cautious silence, quickly disrupted by one crewmen's report.
"Warp was successful sir. Radar is not picking up any other large vessels."
"So we're in the clear?" Dex asked gruffly.
"I believe that goes without saying, Captain."
"Alright," Dex acknowledged before letting out a sigh. "Admittedly I was feeling a bit nervous, but now's the time to rebuild. Set a course for the space dock and ring up the bar. We're gonna need some serious gut-rotters to get this taste of disgraceful combat out of our mouths."
Dex rubs the bridge of his nose as his navigator types in coordinates. After some seconds though a look of concern fills his face.
"Umm, Captain, something is not registering."
"What now you crybaby? I'm trying to relax here."
"The computer cannot formulate a flight course. Either it is experiencing internal slowdown, or we are in a completely different quadrant."
"Whaat?" Dex leans forward, looking ready to hit something. "Are you fucking serious? Where the fuck are we then??"
"I am not sure sir. Perhaps I can consult the computer as to the identity of that planet directly before us." Hearing that last part Dex looks up and out the viewscreen, jumping upright and back into his chair after beholding the huge blue and white orb steadily getting closer.
"Jumpin' Space Jesuses where'd that come from!?" Checking himself Dex resumes a respectable sitting position and calms down.
"Very well. Verify that planet so we know where we are. And make it quick, dammit." Dex reclines in his chair and puts one leg on the other, looking badass. But the photo-op look is short-lived as an alarm goes off causing Dex to bolt forward with a miffed look on his face.
"What now!?"
"There appears to be a small object fast approaching the ship from the rear." Now Dex was looking pissed as he stood up.
"I have no time for you pussies to be frettin' over a damn meteor or something! Get back to figuring our location!"
"The ship detectors confirm that it is no meteor."
"Grrrr! Well bring up the rear view so we can see what it is you idiots!"
"Main screen turn on," announced Zanthur as a holo-screen pops up at the front of room, showing a small blue and white three-pronged fighter soaring through space.
"It is a federation fighter sir. It somehow managed to follow us through warp on its own," spoke the officer who had spotted the anomaly earlier. Dex looks over the live-feed image of the fighter.
"It just has to be Lance. He just never knows when to quit." Dex shakes his head and sits back in his chair. "What are you waiting for? Shoot it down already."
"We cannot sir. This ship lacks rear laser cannons."
"Terrific; again your incompetence amazes me. Why doesn't this ship have rear cannons??"
"Because you told us we would not need them for raids, sir." Silence in the bridge, then Dex speaks again.
"Well turn us around so we can use our forward cannons, genius."
"Yes Captain."
Outside in space Lance notices the engines of the enemy ship flare up to indicate a turning maneuver.
"Gotta disable those engines." Lance flicks a switch on his console and from his ship a missile fires, soaring through the vacuum and scoring a direct hit in the center between the engines. After a brief explosion the rear of the capital ship starts smoking, causing klaxons to go off in the bridge.
"We have been hit. Engines are disabled; we cannot make any immediate turns," said a tech officer from a console.
"Fuck!" was Dex's reply. Back in space Lance grips his control levers tighter.
"Like the commander said: Time to end this, Dex." Lance sends his fighter forward and begins firing lasers along the rear of the crippled capital ship. Panic grew even more amongst the crew.
"We are taking damage all across the hull; hull integrity steadily dropping," reported one officer.
"We are on the way to destruction!" cried Zanthur.
Lance makes his way over the fledgling ship still firing lasers. Past the midpoint of the ship one laser hits a plate that explodes into blue sparks, and suddenly the blue warp circle appears at the front of the ship. In the bridge:
"Warp has been initiated!"
"What!?" shouted Dex, who already had enough of a bad day by now.
"The WID must have taken a hit. Perhaps having it installed so close to the hull was not the wisest of decisions, Captain."
"Since when did I decide that!!??"
As the warp circle grew larger the Tristar also began glowing blue to show that it too was about to enter warp.
"Huh? What's happening??"
Both ships go through their initiation phases, and just like before they both blink out in two flashes of blue and white light.

Skies over Roswell, New Mexico
1947 AD

The capital ship re-emerges right over the stratosphere of the blue planet and keeps moving forward. Nearby Lance's fighter stabilizes and begins following the runaway ship. On the bridge Dex is incredibly tense.
"What happened? Where are we now?" After a quick check an officer replies:
"It is still the same planet, sir. We appear to have only jumped a few kilometers forward. And it appears the enemy fighter has done the same."
"Why? What the freak is going on here??"
"The fighter may have its own WID, hence how it followed us to this planet originally. According to these readings the fighter had made the second jump at about the same time we did, leading me to believe that the two WIDs are linked via frequency after ours took damage. And due to the damage our WID will also randomly initiate warp with no means of control." Dex took a moment to take all that in.
"And what is the exact basis of reasoning to explain why our WIDs are linked, or explain any of this for that matter?"
"Quite frankly, sir, I cannot really say. Perhaps plot progression?"
"Huh?" Before this questionable line of dialogue could continue the bridge starts rocking violently and the edges of the viewscreen erupt in flame.
"Captain! We are on a collision course with the planet. With no working engines we will make impact in less than three minutes."
"We have no chance to survive; make our time!" bemoaned Zanthur.
"God will you shut the hell up Zanthur! Learn to speak regular English you dumb bastard!" Dex gives out a breath then stands to address the crew.
"Crew, despite your shows of cowardice in past exchanges, I am unashamed in saying that it was a time and a half having you work for me. It was a good haul while it lasted, and surely you all hold gratitude knowing that you lived more in the three months working under me than you had with any other part of your life. And at such a bleak moment as this, we must remember to observe the tradition that the captain must always go down with his ship... So long suckers!!"
A platform rises beneath Dex and his chair and pushes them up into a hole that just appeared right above them. Following this departure, the bridge descends into complete chaos.
Meanwhile, Lance looks from above as the capital ship plummets into the planet's atmosphere, erupting into flame and smoke with pieces flying off it.
"I'm sorry it had to end like this, Dex," he said with some remorse. "Perhaps we will meet again someday soon."