At 10/4/08 06:08 PM, Adio wrote:
I'm serious. The only thing that keeps me from drifting off into total nothingness is how much I love my girlfriend. And even that is starting to matter less and less. No one except my grandma would be sad if I disappeared forever, but she has alzheimers, so she wouldn't remember for too long anyway.
At easy at it is to use her failing memory as a scapegoat least you still value her feelings.
I have nothing to live for anymore, and the only friends I have left are on the internet. My existence is null and void. Sure I play guitar, and love to play games on the computer, but none of that makes me happy anymore. Nothing does. I'm in a deep state of depression with no way out. I've been taking medicine for about a year now, and it's starting to stop working.
Medication is only part of what can help you(going by what you wrote, it has to some extent), talk to a case/social worker or doctor about it and about improving your life.
Therapy is just as important as it is what has kept me and a few people I know out of hospital for a while and this may not help for you but it sometimes helps me to make something to live for rather than wait.
Suicide is always lingering on my mind, even though I don't have the balls to do it. And I know deep down it's just a permanent solution for a temporary problem. But escaping from this life sounds so wonderful sometimes.
Be careful as that can lead to obsession, which can overtake your fear, rational and any thing else that is stopping you from doing it.
Newgrounds, what should I do to make an impact on my friends, family, and possibly the world?
Do something, anything. Write a song/poem, do some art, go out to a restaurant club or concert with family/friends, maybe other people might have an impact on you.
Also seek professional help and if you do, don't beat around the bush, pike out, hold back or lie as that's the quickest way to make them useless.
If all your efforts(or lack of) fails you might end up as dead as you are inside.