At 4/24/08 10:22 PM, Cabbster wrote: AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESNT GET IT!??!?

Mikka Kiprusoff: Goalie for the Calgary Flames

The joke begins with a shocking statement that the successful goaltender for the Flames has attempted suicide. This draws in the reader as he wants more information. The joke further states that the method he chose to commit suicide was by jumping in from of the bus. Then, suddenly, all tension is relieved in the final sentence, as it suddenly impossible for the news to be true since a bus could not possibly fit between Kiprusoff's thighs (his five hole).

The ending nonsense statement implies that Kiprusoff is a poor goalie, as an object as large as a bus could get past him.

At 4/24/08 10:22 PM, Cabbster wrote: AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESNT GET IT!??!?

Should I explain?

LOL of the day right there. That was ace.

Only cool users are fab.

At 4/23/08 08:35 PM, TOEZ wrote: We need to make a Intelligence Forum.

But even that idea is stupid...

It's called the politics forum.

Once I finish my degree in Mechatronics, I guarantee you that there will be more deathbots patrolling the Earth, fulfilling my evil wishes.

I'll give you a race car right now if I can have that juicy soul of yours when you die.

It's a beautiful city. Just watch out whenever the Habs win a playoff round, because shit REALLY goes nuts.

I'm really sorry that you feel that way, but I hope that you realize that learning how to socialize in real life is gonna become pretty damn important once you enter the real world, ie job, college. People are not out to get you, insult you or harass you like you might think.

Well done, the only responsible thing that you could have done. Poor girl should not have been left alone though, I tend to keep an eye on my friends when they are in that state. 14 year old should not be drinking in public anyways.

When they kick at your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head,
Or on the trigger of your gun?

When the law breaks in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement,
Or waiting in death row?

Been done a million times.

Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit in my pants
Beatles - Fixing a hole in my pants
Prince - Let's go crazy in my pants

I'd sign up, no question. I'd be proud to sacrifice all the comfort in my life for a few years to go and serve. I'd probably return a better person because of it. Or with post traumatic stress disorder...

At 4/10/08 09:12 PM, Gianfri wrote: Shes my sister! Get away! :O Shes only 12! Shes only starting to like boys =( No, I dont want newgrounders for her! NOOOOO

Oh shit, upon closer inspection, she does look 12. Well, I'm going to jail.

At 4/10/08 08:43 PM, Gianfri wrote:

Want some whisky?

So whose the chick in the background?

At 4/10/08 03:47 PM, Aliensandwich wrote: Well today I talked to her..

I asked her specifics about homework.

She seemed pretty enthusiastic, when she replied.

I've honestly never heard her talk like that to anyone.

Good job, you're trying which is more than can be said about most folk who ask newgrounds for advice. Sounds like you might have your foot in the door. When you do go about asking her out, I suggest not explicitly asking her on a "date" or anything like that. Just ask if she wants to hang out, and this should be done on a Thursday at the earliest. Good luck.

Well I'm obviously way out of the loop on this club. NEW THREAD!? lol, also seeing Tails as commissioner again is news.

At 4/6/08 05:42 PM, TailsPrower wrote: Well now that's out of the way, how was your day? I've been having some orgasmic weather over here!

lol, Spartan is in the dog house. My day been pretty good, though I'm pretty tired/headache-y, I guess I'll have to catch up on sleep during the week. This random stroll though the new ngpd has been awesome, but I feel guilty about being so inactive for the past year. Props to Tails, for all the work put into the thread.

*salutes*
*does happy dance*

I dunno what the official system is, but I've gone by:

First = Make-out
Second = Anything involving direct tit contact
Third = Anything involving direct dick/pussy contact
Home = Sex

Oh boy, let the onslaught of terrible annoying Tim Horton's commercials begin.

Seriously, is there a franchise in the world the puts out so many bad advertisements?

It becomes obvious how much better a mac is to a pc once you get used to using a mac, then try a pc for a few minutes.

Lars and the Real Girl

At 1/10/08 12:17 PM, Scarab-Stalk33r wrote: I've never consciously chatted someone up, but a classic I've used in the past is, "I have Madonna songs on my iPod."

Define classic.

Wow, that is a good one.

Used to be -Sekhmet-, since Sekhmet was taken, but thanks to the admins I didn't have to chance my name. I presume Sekhmet was just deleted.

I agree with all those points, but I still give them a chance. But most of the time they end up being totally blamable anyways.

Wow, talk about bringing an old thread back from the dead...

For the sake of participating, I agree with everyone who said All Along the Watchtower. It's so good that Dylan now plays it the Hendrix way.

I must say I'm impressed.

Jabberwacky: Say something intelligent.

User: I don't believe in Beatles.

Jabberwacky: Are you quoting john lennon?

At 1/2/08 11:34 PM, thedo12 wrote:

At 1/2/08 11:21 PM, Shikamarana wrote:

At 1/2/08 11:19 PM, Dash-Underscore-Dash wrote: STFU and get me some syrup, moose jockey.

And a hockey stick!

first of all this is what im talking about by ignorant

1st of all I dont keep maple syrup on me at all times, second what the fuck is moose jockey?
third ive never have and never will own a hockey stick.

You should really leave this place and never come back. Canada rocks, don't let this guy give everybody a bad opinion about us.

Keep in mind that I'm not American

At 1/2/08 11:17 PM, thedo12 wrote:

ok here we go

1. America dose not have a universal healthcare system

They're working on it. On the flip side, Canada does have it, but it's slowly being taken over by private healthcare companies.

2. America is trillions of dollars in debt http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_stat es_debt

Every country in the world is in debt (few exceptions), I wonder where the money went. :S

3. your newscast is dominated by murder/killings (yes I have watched american news)

Agreed

4. you had slavery

OMG WHAT THE FUCK COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM THAT DIDN'T HAVE SLAVERY.
Yes, Canada had it.

5.you have Gorge bush as president

He's a little on the slow side, but he got elected and I'm willing to bet that you know nothing about his policies.

6. you think you invented democracy, (the greeks did thousands of years before you)

Americans don't think that.

7. you think your the leading world power but your not (news flash, china has 4 times the amount of people in the U.S.)

They are. Population is not a good indication of a countries status, although China is building economically, and does pose a threat to the US's supremacy.

8. your country isnt that big, and dosent have very many resources

A helluva lot more resources than a lot of countries, besides, primary resources aren't worth anything near as much as manufactured products.

9. some of the peole in you country are extrmely ignorant with pride

So are you.

10. you let religion into politics

It happens everywhere, and it's unfortunate.

11. you have a high infant mortallity rate

180th in the world :O

12. your average lifespan is lower then some 3rd world countrys

44th the world, not that great, but what 3rd world countries are ahead of it? None.

13. you have the above guy righting idiotic staments that have no basis in truth

You too.

there you go 13 good reasons why your country sucks,

I don't get beer shits, but I do get whisky farts. Deadly.

Open closets or drawers = evil