Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

According to Franz Kafka, you are no longer a camel. Ponder that.

Masturbation Master Kurosawa has no underage sexual content that I'm aware of.

I used to have this dope Homer Simpson remote holder until some meth-head who used to give head in the bathroom at the Burger King down the street broke into my house and stole it.

Dabs

Largest "flying" bird, not to nitpick, but:

inb4 theropod dinosaurs were arguably birds;

Still, pretty rad. That's a big seagull.

OP is either troll or ignorant person who actually listens to/watches that conservative garbage.

I check the New York Times' and South China Morning Post's websites for headlines, then look up anything I actually want to read about on the BBC, The Independent, Financial Times, or Al Jazeera, because their sites are free to read. I also subscribe to a mailing list from GovTrack.com that does a daily rundown of legislation going through Congress.

NBC, CBS, HuffPo, The Daily Beast, CNN, and Fox News are all good for a laugh or to find out how most Americans will view the story of the day. The Guardian, the Jerusalem Post, and The People's Daily (China) are pretty similar overseas equivalents.

Weekly I read The Economist and watch Jon Oliver's new HBO show and listen to his podcast, The Bugle. Sometimes I also watch the Sunday morning shows on CBS and NBC if I'm feeling political.

Radio news is a waste of time, and the only cable news program I bother watching is Alex Wagner on MSNBC, occasionally, for about the first ten minutes, and mainly because I'd like to eat her out.

At 7/8/14 02:13 AM, Entice wrote: You're seriously mad about this? People are voluntarily giving money to a random guy, who gives a fuck?

He gets thousands of dollars, the people doing it are apparently getting a kick out of it, so no one loses.

Everyone loses. The people who gave money traded actual legal tender for: a) the chance to attend a party with other fools in Ohio or b) some shitty perk swag with "Potato Salad Kickstarter" written on it. That's if Zack "Danger" Brown actually manages to fulfill all of the perks, which, considering he promised anyone who donated $3 and above a bite of the potato salad, seems highly unlikely, in which case he's going to run into real legal trouble. Furthermore, someone who calls themself Zack Danger Brown is being encouraged. The whole shebang is bad news for society and for anyone who could use tens of thousands of dollars to do something productive or at least more entertaining long-term.

And, I'm not actually mad. I also think it's hilarious, but that doesn't mean it isn't stupid and self-serving. I guarantee that the majority of those contributing now are just doing so because they saw it on their favorite Internet news hub, because they want to seem witty by adding to the joke, and because they feel far more comfortable being in a mob of 3,000 people than outside of one. I find all of that pretty funny, hence the link if you want to donate:

Click here to contribute

You may have read a news article in the past day or so about a guy who created a Kickstarter to help raise $10 to buy the ingredients to make a bowl of potato salad. The story made the local news because he raised a couple grand in two days, then it made its way to CNET and a few other big Internet news sources in the last 24 hours. The AV Club summed up my thoughts this afternoon with an article titled "Please don’t give this kid money for his potato salad Kickstarter".

Right now it's at $15,000 with 25 days to go. That's fifteen thousand American dollars for some punk making a dumb joke on the Internet. He's not making a movie, he's not writing a webcomic, he's not doing something for the world, he's just making a bowl of God damn potato salad, and people want to throw money at him because their lives are empty and it made them laugh for ten seconds.

Link if you want to donate:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/324283889/potato-salad

I actually wrote this when the Kickstarter read $45,000, but $30,000 of that turned out to be fraudulent. Still, 15 grand???

At 7/6/14 10:41 AM, Slint wrote:

At 7/6/14 10:40 AM, WahyahRanger wrote: Dude, you're so much smarter than this.

But it's a tiger! And he's wearing A HAT!

I was going to say that's an epic photo without reading down the thread, but I'm glad I didn't, because I didn't even see the hat!! The tiger is wearing a hat!!!

Pic 1000x more epic now that I see the hat. Well done, sir. I'm changing my phone's ringtone to Tiger Rag to celebrate.

Also, I'm having a hard time picking a mood for this post. None of the smileys do the look on my face justice.

At 7/5/14 10:06 PM, beakerboy wrote: Anyone who knew me back then will tell you that I sure as hell wanted it to be.
Anyone who knew me back then would tell you that I sure as hell wanted it to be.
Anyone who knew me back then would've told you that I sure as hell wanted it to be.

Uhm, out of these 3 sentences, which one works?

All three of them work; they're perfectly grammatically correct and all mean different things.

I still cherish the memory of the time Poozy banned me for bypassing the filter, back in aught'10. Ooh, and I got a PM from Auz confirming that he and Poozy had, after some deliberation, agreed on my ban.

Jack Herer for me, any day of the week.

At 6/13/14 09:18 PM, Urban-Champion wrote: p sure its mario

Seriously? That's not helpful. There's a dick-ton of Mario games, and just saying "its mario" doesn't help anyone.

You're looking for Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, OP.

At 6/13/14 05:07 PM, AcetheSuperVillain wrote:

At 6/12/14 10:35 PM, RWT wrote: I'm far more concerned as to why the artist tagged it as "Fan Art"
on DA.

What the hell does he think he's a fan of??

Pulp

There has got to be a more specific name for this particular sub-genre of pulp. From the same gallery:

At 6/13/14 08:53 PM, Sensationalism wrote:

At 6/13/14 08:47 PM, Raab wrote: Despite popular belief....

It is not always correct to use 'I' for yourself when describing the actions of yourself and another person in a sentence.

Here is an example of when I is used correctly:

To that end, "whom" is not always right. "Who" is the subject. "Whom" is the object. Use them properly. It's not "Whom are you speaking to?" it's "Who are you speaking to?"/ "To whom did she pass the ball? is correct.

"Whom are you speaking to?" is the correct sentence. "You" is the subject and "whom" is the object.

Fact: it is perfectly grammatically correct to end a sentence with a preposition. And it's also completely correct to occasionally split an infinitive or begin a sentence with a conjunction if you want to. These so-called "rules" were largely invented by a minority of Latin-obsessed writers and educators in the 17th and 18th centuries who wanted to make the English language sound more formal and less like something people actually speak.

Debit card, condom, three hotel room keys, $47 US dollars, 500 rubles, one Guatemalan quetzal, copy of my thumbprint, Allen wrench, plastic sword, old Washington Nationals tickets, Starbucks card, business card for a strip club in Barcelona with a calendar of Spanish religious holidays on the reverse, photo ID, red envelope, and a scrap of paper with a Hong Kong phone number and "Tiffy" written on it

At 6/12/14 11:10 PM, Vnzi wrote:

At 6/12/14 11:07 PM, Shade wrote: Yes, and you're the one talking about the Fire Apartment.

O... kay? I was referring to him saying that he doesn't want to call the fire apartment because he doesn't want to pay a fee, and I asked why he thinks so.

I'm just going to step in here: Fire Department

At 6/12/14 09:26 PM, WahyahRanger wrote:

At 6/12/14 09:24 PM, Xiicubed wrote: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHRE_hrUkzU

I don't think poking fun of legitimately autistic people is funny.

Instead may I suggest finding videos of furries being stupid or people lighting themselves on fire next time?

Screw those illegitimately autistic people, man. If you're going to do something funny like light yourself on fire, have the decency to be cleared of any disability by a psychiatric professional, so I know if I can laugh at you with a clean conscience, man.

I'm far more concerned as to why the artist tagged it as "Fan Art"
on DA.

What the hell does he think he's a fan of??

At 6/12/14 06:15 PM, Scintillating wrote:

At 6/12/14 06:10 PM, DeftonesFan665 wrote:

At 6/12/14 05:32 PM, All-American-Badass wrote: Personally my grievance with Wal Mart is that they have fucking 20 checkout lanes in the store but any any given moment t

This. It's so annoying to go there in the morning and there's only one lane open.

Self checkout is the solution

Shoplifting, mate; I haven't paid for anything at Walmart in years. Just dress nicely and be Caucasian, and no one will pay you any mind.

At 6/9/14 05:54 PM, CoolBerries wrote: hatred-filled beauty in my poetically punk music

That's a load of crap. Your music wasn't the product of your struggle, it was the product of the hope you kept alive that things could be better and you might get over being so fed up with the world. Now you've got a nice piece of tail and you think everything's rosy and perfect, so you don't have anything interesting to say anymore. Think long and hard about what you don't love about this girl and why your relationship with her doesn't magically solve all of life's problems, and therein will you find your muse.

Happy Birthday John F. Kennedy!

My man Carmelo is 28 today too! Yeah, boy!

He'll probably show up late to his party, though. At least JFK has the "I'm dead" excuse.

At 5/29/12 06:46 PM, Bobbybroccoli wrote: ...icians.

Really.

The conservative party of Canada (the ruling party) headquarters received a human foot in the mail today.

What the hell.

I initially read this as "Human Foot Nailed to Canadian Politician."

Asian chicks are hot. Canadian men will be attracted to them and inevitably have half-Asian kids. The males of that generation will seek out Asian immigrants to mate with, creating children who are three-quarters Asian. The cycle continues until the entire population of Canada is Asian, with almost no remnant of Canadian genes left.

That's how the Soga clan took over Japan in the 6th century, anyway.

At 5/17/12 07:27 PM, Sheizenhammer wrote: I'll ignore the apparent irony of making 'sour' cream stay 'fresh' for longer, but I do have to point out that making jars of food completely airtight only encourages growth of the worst form of food poisoning you can get.

Just saying.

People keep stealing your lunch from the office fridge? Paralyze those bastards!

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/cgi-bin/seigmiaow.pl?

You'll never guess what this website has.

If anyone can find a better domain name, the kudos are yours.

At 5/17/12 07:56 AM, stinkychops wrote:

At 5/17/12 06:18 AM, Falonefal wrote:

At 5/17/12 05:07 AM, ih8dude wrote: Shouldn't you be posting this on those forums and not on a website that got it right?

Like if you want to discuss how fucked up Hitler was you have to discuss it on www.IHateHitler.com instead of here.

Are you that bad at thinking of things to complain about that you had to go straight to Hitler?

You'd be surprised how popular hating Hitler is.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=346 3817&pagenumber=2

Also, that place looks like the BBS' psychotic cousin.

At 5/17/12 05:34 PM, rocky99213 wrote: If a knife is used a lot, and you would sharpen it regularly, wouldn't the knife disappear eventually.

Nope.

At 5/17/12 03:57 PM, MaartenC wrote: Dude. Nobody gets drunk after 1.5 liters.

He could be Asian. Or Native American.

Philosophy's great... I live to go out and get trashed with my boy Socrates, then listen to him use the fact that he's taller than Simmias to prove that the soul is immortal, while some flute-chick blows me and we all drink wine and eat olives.