In my last topic, you got to witness the shrewd sales tactics of Anigen. Now read this message he sent me the other day. This kid definitely has his finger on the pulse of things.

From: AniGen
Sent: 09/29/07 01:40
Subject: the epic TRUTH MAN FUCKIN TRUTH
dear mr n2x,

sometime a few months ago I sent you a rather disturbing aim message. the fact of the matter is, mr n2x, you need to realize that no one acts that gay for real and in all honesty I was only pretending to suck up to you so me and stag could add your account to lists of high level accounts we have.

the truth is, you're a ng faggot. im sorry to tell you. the anigenbot.justgotowned link you sent to me was a blatant unfunny and unoriginal ripoff of the already unfunny ytmnd.com, and the messages you sent me were just generally lame. posting it all on the bbs and reviewing everything I said is only further proof that you clearly don't have half a dick and you waste too much of your life on newgrounds

in conclusion

FUCK YOU IDIOT PIECE OF SHIT. HERES A TRUTH FOR YOU. WHEN YOU ARE FUCKING ON A CRODILE, THERE'S A 27% CHANCE THAT THAT SAME CROCODILE WILL BITE YOUR ASSHOLE OFF. HE'LL JUST BITE YOUR ASSHOLE CLEAN OFF YOUR ASS AND IN 7 DAYS YOU WILL DIE FROM NON SHITTING. YOU WANNA FUCK WITH ME BITCH IM 14 LIFE 250 LBS AND CAN KICK YOUR ASS NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY YOU'RE FIVE YOU HAVE NO LIFE AND CANT SAY SHIT YOU KNOW WHY CUZ UR MY BITCH U DONT KNOW SHIT YOU SUCK MY COCK YOU LIL WHOREFUCK BAG IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY BECAUSE UR A DUMBASS CUZ IM READY FOR COLLEGE AT MY AGE. YOU JUST GOT BITCH SLAPPED HOMOSEXUAL BECAUSE IM SMARTER THAN YA SO YA STFU STFU STFU SUCK MY DICK BITCH UNEARTH JUST OWNED YOUR ASS

PS: cuc ya 3 gaty m00bdog

PSS: seriously spam aside youre really gay

My ears are still ringing from that all caps shouting tantrum. I have only a vague clue of what he was trying to say, though. That's what's keeping me from calling his parents to take away his internet.

At 8/15/07 07:42 PM, Mr-President wrote: Where the hell do you find the time for these things?

And what's your rank right now?

I just vote and deposit every night before I go to bed -- simple as that. It's gotten me to a humble rank of 46.

At 8/15/07 07:20 PM, Warrickneff wrote:
Do you deposit every day still...or just whenever you get around to it but you just had so much exp from before?

I deposit every day. I didn't for more than a year, but then I got back on track. If I'd deposited every day since signing up, I'd be at least number 5 in the rankings. Holy geez.

At 8/15/07 06:39 PM, gumOnShoe wrote: Yeah, you can just feel the power, radiating, seeping, gushing from the screen while you bask midly away from it at levels 10 -15. I can only imagine how my very being would be RIPPED apart at the slightest sudden exposure to it. I expect it would hurt, a lot. ;(

It did sting at first, but now it doesn't.

At 8/15/07 05:55 PM, TehreTard wrote: There's a reason why I didn't type my AIM in my profile. You know, since people you've never met could easily IM you from checking your profile and just engage in a stupid conversation that is ultimately a waste of time. Perhaps you could switch to MSN instead so you won't have to worry about people you don't know trying to chat with you.

This porno bloopers you speak of, is this from a free site or it's a DVD you bought?

If I deleted my AIM info, then I wouldn't have anything to write about today. :-)

And the bloopers were a collection of clips from some torrent site. Empornium, I believe.

At 8/15/07 05:45 PM, mastergurosp wrote: People actually ask you for your account? Wow them a bunch of beggz0rz

Yeah. They IM me at their convenience, just asking for it.

What the hell is this? People keep contacting me out of nowhere asking for my account. Little lady-boys come out of the depths of the internet to message me weekly, maybe biweekly, about giving up my NG password to them. What benefit is there having access to a couple extra Flash games from nearly a decade ago?

Recent example: this poof, anigenbot, he messaged me last night as I was enjoying a pleasant evening of watching porno bloopers and eating nachos. He had the gall to interrupt MY TIME and waste it with his pathetic attempt at coercing me into relinquishing my password. Here is an example of his witless, sycophantic jawing:

anigenbot: hello sir :]
anigenbot: I was wondering if I could ask you a question, sir
n2x 0000: WHAT
anigenbot: :0, well sir, I noticed you were a high level on newgrounds
n2x 0000: What's it to you?
anigenbot: well, haah, that's an amazing feat :D

He continues to try desperately to win favor by appealing to my "humanity."

anigenbot: I was wondering, since it seems you haven't gone to newgrounds in a good long while, if I could possibly have your account?
anigenbot: I mean, since it doesn't seem to be one of your top priorities anymore
n2x 0000: What privileges?
n2x 0000: You get like, two flash animations.
anigenbot: well, if you don't want it, could I have it?
anigenbot: I'm an animator in fact
anigenbot: I love animation, it's a passion
anigenbot: but a lot of people get a lot of crappy movies into the portal and win money because of it
anigenbot: I want to be able to help give the money to the folks who do deserve it
n2x 0000: Oh, that just melts my heart.

He persists in his prattling for longer than would be interesting to read. I tried to make the conversation more lively than he was willing to. Some snippets:

n2x 0000: Do you know how many people have asked me for this account?
n2x 0000: How much money would this fetch?
anigenbot: haha, probably in the thousands man
anigenbot: well, I have just as big a shot as any of those other blokes [Poser.]
[...]
anigenbot: so you're saying
anigenbot: you won't give your account to me
anigenbot: because you could find better use for it selling it or keeping it due to attatchments?
n2x 0000: What immediate benefit is there for me to give away something I've worked so hard on?
n2x 0000: Haha, I said "hard on."
anigenbot: well
anigenbot: there is no benefit
[...]
anigenbot: What I'm saying is.
anigenbot: You're not giving your account to some 13 year old kid.
n2x 0000: Oh, yeah. How old are you?
anigenbot: 19
n2x 0000: And where are you from?
anigenbot: Boston.
anigenbot: lmao
n2x 0000: I don't believe you're not a virgin. [I had asked him earlier]
n2x 0000: At least with women, anyway.
anigenbot: christ
anigenbot: you're asking if i've had sex with women
n2x 0000: Yeah.
anigenbot: even someone I've known for like 2 years don't ask me that
n2x 0000: Well, I'm someone DIFFERENT.
n2x 0000: I need to be assured I'm bestowing my hallowed account on an upstanding human being.
n2x 0000: Link me to the myspaces of the last four chicks you've slept with.
anigenbot: man, I don't get to know them
n2x 0000: INTERCOURSE
n2x 0000: Or Facebook.
anigenbot: still, I don't stick with them long enough
anigenbot: I am very choosey about my women
anigenbot: I try not to find just
anigenbot: some skank
anigenbot: who doesn't give a shit, you know what I mean

Let's break for a second here.
No, I don't know what you mean, anigenbot. If he's very picky about your women, then why does he not get to know them? And why does he care what another female thinks of him? Does he seek out girls who will invest their hearts in his sorry excuse for a self, only to kick them to the curb after he's broken their hearts and deleted them from his Top 8? I wouldn't want that lowlife handling my account. (Of course, that's just the person that the holes in his story create. We all know 100% that he's a virgin or near-virgin who can't even ask for a number let alone a date.)

Want more proof of this lying liar's lies? Check out this message he sent to BlueHippoNG (whom he originally posed as for me):

anigenbot: this guy is a real fucking asshole
anigenbot: and im sick of his shit
anigenbot: im ready to fucking block him and go to bed

What a two-faced cretin, sucking up to me while he stabs me in the back. I called him on it when BlueHippo informed me.

n2x 0000: Hey, why not tell me you're sick of my shit to my face?
anigenbot: man, I don't have anything against you
anigenbot: it's just
n2x 0000: I'm going to tell you the same thing I told my sister all the time when we were kids: You're a man with a small wiener.
anigenbot: well
anigenbot: I'd love to tell you that my weiner is actually a pretty good length

So, let's review. This dishonest swish wants my account for nothing, and expects me to give it to him. To that I must respond with a resounding N-O, and send him on his merry way to cyber-panhandle elsewhere.

Even if by some grace of prime design he's a creative genius, I still wouldn't give him my password for his complete lack of effort to convince me. If he really wanted it, he would have made the prospect seem anything but worthless.

Again, why do people do this?

P.S. I am not completely disinclined to relinquish my account to someone else, just those who have nothing substantial to offer me in exchange.

P.P.S. For all those nincompoops who have solicited me in the past and cited no recent BBS activity as their cue to move in and beg: here you go. I am alive.

Mister Jeremy Lokken, you have been my hero ever since some four years ago when I first watched Reading Rainbow. I just thought I'd let you know that.

Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do.

Harass this person the best you can on AIM. Tell him n2x sent you.

Awesome. Also, be sure to read Flight of the Corballschnap on NG Lit.

1st

Gamecube rules. PS2 isn't too far behind. Xbox is poopie