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I can go without a shower for long periods of time without feeling disgusted of my self.

At 2/23/14 03:21 PM, Lagerkapo wrote: Verdant retrograde enlightened sun panacea mechanical system of singular release in very finely tuned arbors of systematic syntax boundaries, translations of integral source field mind transition between something and not but still nothing ever always did the same, even when it’s beaten the game.
Now quickens the race, pace car did laps even god could not chase, but of course we can see this thing through quickly for we are free to be the largest singular mind ever defined and if all goes right we might just fight what we think we might know and show that god only knows of the perch on which he still grows
And told not to enter this place of space we truly face the compound truth of this entire race, destined to bore down the barrel of God’s Light gun and erase the space with which we've been faced and built to sunder with the old glorious light of seasons yet to come

Oh my goodness. Reading this aloud alone gives me chills as if I were listening to my favorite music.
The sentences are perfectly lengthy yet delicately smooth. And the context continues to resound in
my brain.

The Fault in the Silver-Lining

Did you know
That when my eyes are clouded
And my mind is empty
I can hear the clock ticking,
Counting each worthless second gone by.
Do matter how hard I try,
My heart won't beat in unison
With the indefinite continuation
Of life.

Did you know
That when I lay with my ear close to the ground
I can hear the pulse of the earth beneath me.
It slowly spins,
So alive
Yet filled with the dead.

Did you also know
That when the blood rushes through my body,
I can hear the wind tremble and quake
With a familiar fear.
It shudders
Because it knows its fleeting existence
Will slip through the world's fingers.

Did you know
That I'm afraid of that too?

Tinted Blue

I wanted
To capture the sea,
So I picked it up with my hands.
It seeped through my fingers,
And became droplets on the floor.

I wanted
To live in the ocean,
So I poured water everywhere.
It swam away
And was gone within the hour.

I wanted
To never leave the water,
So I never got out of the pool.
Now, my lips are tinted blue
And I have water in my lungs.

I got my wish,
But now my family is creating a flood.

At 2/19/14 06:08 PM, beakerboy wrote: Right now tho my plan for that is for DDomme to receive a pet in the mail, after which more violence ensues, alongside other horrific things.

Ah, well, keep on writing what you love. I'm actually looking forward in reading more of your writing. I love the diction in the protagonist's dialogue, no matter how cringe-worthy it may seem.

At 2/18/14 10:32 PM, beakerboy wrote:

At 2/18/14 10:20 PM, MilesTailsPrower10 wrote:

Well then. You've certainly got the "torture porn" stigma flowing within you.

Alas, this one of those texts that requires a person who actually enjoys the fetish being portrayed in it.
Or have a strong stomach and/or sense of reality.

D thanks.

Well, for me, this was pretty mild. But don't worry, I'm gonna test all of your stomachs. Down to the last drop of... Stomach acid. And the people who actually enjoy this stuff (myself included) are gonna rejoice at the miracle that is me!

Also, one question, is this going to play out like Dexter (I would assume you know about the series) or are there going to plot twists?

At 2/18/14 09:43 PM, beakerboy wrote: “Now, run along like a good little boy,” I squeak as I remove the restraints. He falls down like a limp fish flat on his face, without a sign of consciousness. Oh… I think to myself. I guess he passed out. I’ll just dump his body in the river. My mind inattentively wanders… Hehe… I love my job!

Well then. You've certainly got the "torture porn" stigma flowing within you.

Alas, this one of those texts that requires a person who actually enjoys the fetish being portrayed in it.
Or have a strong stomach and/or sense of reality.

Old Oak Tree

Swaying in the breeze,
A thousands stories to tell.
The years are edged in every square-inch.
Year after year,
Time takes its toll,
The seasons go by,
But you always stay the same.
The birds will fly away,
Hundreds of miles from here
Without a second glance.
Of all the fleeting things in the world,
You are the one that I can rely on.

A Mystery

I want someone to tell me there's no one else like me.
Say that I'm as precious and irreplaceable as the fleeting moment we are living in.
I wish someone would say that they are desperate to freeze the picture,
So that I could be captured and would never leave.

I suppose everyone yearns to find someone willing to extol them endlessly every waking hour.

How selfish I am.

Though I might say these loving things to someone, I should want for nothing in return.
In reality, I must realize that love shouldn't expect anything in return.
So, instead,
I must find someone to accept my love.
Though it may not be returned for years to come,
I want you to be happy.
I hope that you smile everyday.
I hope that woe never crosses your path,
And that you are forever immersed with the joy that I may never know.
Love is still a mystery in my youthful eyes,
And in you own as well.

Fragment

My eyes remain clouded,
Unable to conjure any form of tears.
They are dry, blood-shot,
And shift out of focus.

Though I lay still,
My heart is ceaselessly spinning,
The world is endlessly aching.
I can taste the song and I can see the heat.

I hear my heartbeat alone above the ringing that is the scream of the night's wind.
It is calling out for the tear that has fallen
Upon your sleeve, resting on a desk.
The old wood is marked
By the ink that was spilled
When you tried to let the words escape from your lips.

I toss and turn as the crow flies away.
The butterflies are beckoned to mourn the loss of your tears,
Yet I am left.

Arms reach out
And grasp empty air
And I snuggle into a fragment
Of a memory
That is over before it even started.

The dove finds you
And delivers a cold stone--
All that tossing and turning
Has strangled me.

Another Mistake

Cold and cruel accusations,
Hateful glares under stone hearts.
Dark red stains of regret upon the slate,
The tears have dried
But the betrayal is fresh.
Nausea and woe
Fills me up to the brim.
Though I was the one
Who was hurt the most,
You are the one
Who cares the least.
You don't bother to face me now
Or ever.
You never saw who I was,
A vulnerable little boy,
Searching for a hand, anyone's,
To guide him from the hell he had created in his head.
Just another mistake
On the record of my life,
A lie I had no recollection of
May haunt me forevermore.
Mauled and scarred,
I broke and gathered myself up.
You will never know, not now,
How deceived I felt.
Someone finally cares, I thought.
But, you falter,
You pull your hand away.

No, it was never really there.
Not where it was supposed to be.
You were too afraid to reach down below the surface.

No.

My mistake.
You never tried
Because you never cared.

Freeze the Picture

How far do I dare dream?
How can I help but look at you,
And see eternity?
Before long, my mind begins to wander,
And I soon begin to fantasize.
Could you change my life?
Will you become the missing puzzle piece?
Will you be my best friend,
Competent and kind,
Or are you to be my soul mate?
Will you be my future,
Or will you only be my past,
For we may never meet again.
It matters not,
Let only now be relevant.
Just smile at me,
And I'll freeze the picture.
We can defy fate.
It will last
Forever.

Stay

Uncertainty glistens in my reflection,
Creases of doubt are edged deep into my brow.
My gaze wavers on my body,
Inspecting for any flaw whatsoever.
I think of how my heart thumps inside,
Expanding my chest and threatening to burst.
Still not sure how to feel about you,
I'll go through one more day.
You laugh so hard,
Your smile so bright,
I need for you to be safe.
I can't tell if this connection
Is real
Or a notion in my imagination,
But there's something about you.
All I know for certain is
I want you to stay.

Story Time

The face of evil,
Once a god frozen in the ice,
Whose sanity melts remembering touch,
Is a drop of fire on the rise,
Its soaring hopes
Tied with black ribbons to an electric chair.

Lament, bleeding roses,
Bite your tongue until it bleeds.
In the silent midnight,
A tear sings a water's lullaby,
An underwater fire walk in the labyrinth submerges the ivory heart.

Anxiety,
Harmony,
Praying for spring:
The cycle of love and solitude.

Rescue is possible.
We need an instant repair.

Until then, I'll be missing you.

There is a Mermaid Inside of Me

There is a part of me
That has ceaselessly wandered, like a solitary cloud,
Yearning to defy,
Suffering silently,
Dreaming of impossibilities and foolish things.
Her notions were naive and ridiculous,
Yet somehow understated
And they sparked awareness in me.

On the surface,
I am content with my life.
Deep down,
I feel like a square block being forced into a hole.
I don’t belong to this world presented to me
Though perhaps that’s just my bad judgment.

Still,
Something stirs within me,
A driving force takes hold of me.
A flood of hope fills me.
As we leap of the rough, rigid earth
And dive.

Restless and ambitious,
Serene and sincere,
A mermaid resides within me.

Oh how she desires to break her shackles,
She believes there is more than what the world has given us.
She implants a prevailing sense of expectation.

Do I dare wade in the shallow water?
My heart beats rapidly,
Blood pounds in my ears
As I contravene,
And break the surface.
I face my comprehension,
Embracing the rushing waters.
I am held by the most comforting sensation.

I am gone
Beneath the foamy blue waves,
As fleeting as an inscription on the pearly sand.
I have left to chase the dreams that have haunted me.

I let the vast blue heavens carry me away.
Smothered in a feeling of tranquility,
I suddenly realize what was obvious the whole time-
There isn't a mermaid inside of me,
A completely separate being who doesn't belong.
No-

For I was the mermaid all along.

I will be adding more of my poems onto this thread due to a bit of scolding from responsible mods.

At 2/4/14 07:03 PM, Iusethetoilet wrote: did she just become a man or is this on purpose like it can be both man and woman? or are you into some freaky shit? xD

Unfortunately, it's typo that managed to get on my poem due to my mind wandering elsewhere.

It is so clear,
Your bright eyes and white skin,
Your golden, metallic hair shining,
Your unwavering smile lighting up my world.
Soft words of wisdom,
Spiked my curiosity.
I could finally believe
And it was Beautiful.
The dark abyss that was once swallowing me whole
Had turned into a shining haven that I entered gladly.
Your persistent gaze saw right through me.
A foreign sound reached my ears,
Sweet and clear.
I realized that it had come from me.
And thus, we laughed in unison for what seemed like infinity.
Time stood still as I absorbed his every movement, every word, everything.
Your shining eyes met mine.
And I gave a sigh of relief as my worries drifted a million years away.
I was soaring in a sky of no boundaries or limitations
Her soft laugh was left ringing in my ears,
Still unaccustomed to such joyful and content sounds.
A dark cloak that had been suffocating me was suddenly lifted away,
And in its place, a blanket of hope.
Then, I woke up.
It was all gone, like smoke lost in the wind.
It had drifted so easily away from me,
A world that I had created if only for a moment, was gone,
And with it a girl named Phylum.

At 2/2/14 03:18 PM, DBuck-Eye wrote: I like it, though I do find that it has maybe an overly perfect view of cats. "They live and let live". Not if you're a small creature or an ankle.

Think of the cats as an allegory to people who just "go with the flow".

We can learn so much from these intriguing creatures.
While you pester about the smallest inconveniences
They are basking in the little pleasures of the world, one lazy eye calmly gazing at your foolishness.
They don't see why you fret about a broken vase or two
It's all rather trifle to them.

While the most trivial of matters seem to you send you into a panic
The cat will never cease to ponder your dramatic antics.

You see, cats don't think.
They just do.
They live and let live.

Perhaps we can get something out of observing cats.
Don't over think the complex, disorderly world.

Just let it be.
It will fall into place.
It always does.

The curtain opens,
The blinding lights surround me,
I have entered a new world.
Who I am is nowhere to be found,
I am gone,
I am someone else.
My costume is my clothes,
The lines are my words,
I sing with another's voice.
I'm oblivious to the audience,
I am absorbed in this world,
My emotions are true.
I have escaped reality,
Martin's life is a distant memory,
For I am now living as a new person.
I have truly been betrayed,
I have truly fallen in love,
It is all real.
The apprehension is true,
My doubts and my fears make me vulnerable,
I have embodied this person,
I am reborn.

I am filled with anticipation.
I am tempted to look ahead.

I am never lonely with my paperbacks.

The sun shines across the pages on a sunny day.
My mind is racing as I take in every word
My whole being is absorbed into the pages, into new worlds.

Perhaps today I'll be in a magical kingdom
Full of dragons, elves, and magic.
Or maybe I'll travel back in time
to the life of an infamous monarch.
Maybe I'll witness heart-break
I might witness betrayal.
I might see a newly found hope.
What could lie just around the corner,
What could occur on the next page?

Eventually, I have to surface
Though much too soon.
I am forced to come back into reality with a jolt.
But, a comforting thought always reassures me:

I can always go back.
I have eternity in my hands.

I am always free to escape, to imagine, to dream, to wonder, to love, in my books.
I feel the emotions vividly
The characters are flesh and blood.

To know.
To learn.
To understand.
It's a gift that I could never repay.

At 1/28/14 04:23 PM, Kylpault wrote: Not that it's a bad literary move but now that my understanding has been opened, the poem is much more of a depressing tale. But there is a light.

I understand the recurrent depressing tone in my poems lately. I myself have felt a little out of it thus, I'll tend to, if not alway, express my emotions in my writing.

At 1/28/14 04:12 PM, Kylpault wrote:

:What is the creature?

The creature is a human taking care of the plant.

At 1/28/14 03:28 PM, Kylpault wrote: But then I started to read it faster, to get a better rhythm. And faster. And faster.

Yes!! I'm glad you were able to find the correct rhythm. Re-reading sure does help.

At 1/28/14 02:58 PM, Iusethetoilet wrote: ehm...wow..i guess.. this is both deep and dark and you leave me to think that you might need a shrink xD jk, its good :)

Nah, I've never actually ingested any drugs nor plan to. This is more like my own representation on how someone views their surroundings when addicted to a drug.

Blood-shot eyes frantically search,

Trembling hands with apparent blue veins are cut and bleeding

with lucid desperation.

The need is instilled deep within,

Will never cease and will always devour.

Sleepless nights and idle days start to fuse together.

What is the difference between the sun and the moon?

Quaking with a persistent panic,

What’s wrong with me?

Don’t want to be suffocated any longer,

Locked in this prison,

Drowning and withering,

Influenced,

Drugged beyond recognition.

Intoxicated blindly,

The gray world

Grows fogged and hazed.

My bloodcurdling screams

Are the only things that are my own anymore.

Brittle and broken,

Dwindling into a fervent abyss of shame.

Only to be remembered

By the scars that I left.

Thankfully redeemed

By the solace rush that I crave.

The images you create for the reader are lucid and you make Idle Stan seem very austere.
I can imagine a person standing in the middle of a huge war, unaffected by his surroundings.

At 1/28/14 06:06 AM, fearthepiff wrote: Another amazing piece of work, which really is no longer a surprise coming from you. I don't know if you've ever thought of being published and sharing your stories with a broader audience, but your amount of talent is clear and candid, you, my friend, have a gift a storytelling.

I can't thank you enough for the support I am getting right now. This is helping me regain my faith in writing more publicly since no one would ever be this supportive.

At 1/27/14 10:56 PM, Maltos wrote: An original story however I did not expect to feel pity for the creature but it wasn't a bad feeling in the end I felt the sadness for the creature as well for the main character. Then just as the darkness was at its max it ended on a light and happy note.

I'm glad I was able to express the appropriate emotions to my fellow reader.

A quiet and serene awakening happened all at once. One moment, my world was desolate and empty; the next, my world was transformed into a bright and vast landscape. Waves of the feeling of joy seemed to radiate from the earth. I had come so far from being all alone to being surrounded by solace and others just like me.
This world, however ideal it seemed to be, did not revolve around me. This place wasn't created or staged for me-I discovered that one day.
As my kin and I were contentedly swaying in the gentle summer breeze, a silhouette of a foreign being was seen coming over the horizon. As it approached, so foreign in the way it moved, I wondered why it couldn't just reside as I in the grassy meadow. Yet, it bounded around my whole world as if it was normal. It couldn't be, though, since I haven't moved from this spot my entire life.
How strange it was while in motion. It just couldn't sit still, even to bask in the sun. But, I was surprised to see it at rest on one occasion. It rapidly expelled hot air as it laid down beneath me. I could feel the steady air beat against me.
So, this creature has the tendency to move and stay still as it chooses? How strange.
The creature came back again and again. I became used to its recurrence. In fact, I may have even started to look forward to its bold entrance everyday. Sometimes, it would come particularly near me and breath into me, which I found unsettling at first. But, soon I became accustomed to the gentle touch and the breath of the creature. How it pained me to see it leave everyday. No longer was I content to sit here idly anymore. Though dozens around me, my family, had rested all their lives, I yearned to follow the bounding creature beyond the horizon, away from the only world I had ever known. I needed to know what else there was.
For the first time, I was thinking for myself. I was thinking beyond the present, and into the future. I knew that the universe expanded to much more than just a meadow.
I desperately wanted to become like the creature, as our differences were apparent. It was much larger and stronger, though its body was soft to the touch. It had strange and rather awkward appendages-to run with, I suppose. I felt like this creature was the doorway to my destiny.
So sad was the time from then on. One day, as the creature laid down beside me, it appeared to wither in pain. Small, sad sounds came from it as drops of rain poured from it, like a rain fall. How I wished to comfort it. But, there was no way I could, so I only sat beside it, its suffering becoming my suffering.
That was the last time I ever saw the creature.
Time had taken its toll of my life force, and I gradually faded once again into darkness. But, as soon as I was completely submerged into the loneliness, I saw light. And, I stood up and ran to it.