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Hey there!

My friend and I have been writing a comedy/drama comic called "Voodooville" for about a year now. We've finished our first solid draft of the first book of what we hope becomes a series, and we're starting work on the second book right away.

Preview of the first 8 pages (Out of a total of 40 pages): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CwY6ll_972aEre48x9G2iUZs7xcLVUfNXIrAuPjGhSY/edit We also screwed around with storyboarding using Bitstrips- please, don't put stock into any visuals we've used here: http://imgur.com/a/bgu45

Our story is about a voodoo doll that, through the spell of a voodoo shaman, becomes possessed by the soul of a dead man. This person has essentially been reincarnated, born anew, into a New Orleans that is experiencing a sudden, mysterious introduction of very real magic, such as voodoo, that til now has been believed to all be superstition and fiction. As the story progresses, it is revealed that magic in all its fictitious forms is becoming reality all over the world, and nobody knows why. The voodoo doll sets out with the friends he meets along the way to figure out what the hell is going on, and who the hell he used to be before he died.

We've put so much work into our crazy plot and world, it's pretty difficult to concisely sum up the story- so please, ask questions if you're confused or intrigued about anything.

Our issue is neither of us can draw. We're not able to pay for the art, and we understand asking someone to draw 40 pages, each of which requires pretty complex art for free is a lot.

So, we want to set up a casual partnership with any competent artist who enjoys our story, and is looking to develop their art skills in an interesting way. All we ask from you is for the art to make sense with the story we've written- outside of that, you'll have complete creative liberty. We encourage you to come up with imaginative, even surreal art- the story demands it. The art can be comprised of basic sketches, or something more finished- as long as your art is cool, unique, and recognizable as a comic that we can release, we ain't complaining.

Once we find the artist we want and they draw the forty pages, we plan on releasing weekly as a webcomic. If we find we can continue past that, and you are still committed and right for the job, you can continue to work with us, and split any kind of profit with us. If you don't wish to continue, and we go on to find a new artist, you will always be credited in future issues as our first artist. Obviously, any profit from the pages you've produced will be split fairly with you.

We're having a lot of fun with this story, and have a lot of epic ideas for the direction we want to take it in. We really hope our dedication to Voodooville is clear- I've seen plenty of partnerships between comic artists and writers where the artist is clearly doing all the heavy lifting. We don't want that. We just want to make something awesome.

No way am I gonna finish in time, this sucks. Here's the rough intro I had.
It struck Esther- and it happened to strike her at the moment when she was really expecting her animal instincts to kick in. To kick in some aperture to her consciousness, and scream thoughtless white noise into her skull. She was honestly pretty disappointed with her reflexes in the face of inevitable death- rather than spasming helplessly, or heroically gathering her thoughts and focusing on a plan of survival, she just sat, apparently in some early form of paralytic shock. No, wait, not paralyzed- she had just put a finger to her temple to muse this point. Still, it had to be shock- what kind of sane person would just sit in a situation like this? She waited pointedly, expecting fear to check the time, realize its missed appointment, speed down a neural highway, and finally overwhelm her. She gave up after a bit, and resumed her realization.
It struck Esther that whoever had sabatoged her car so that when she started it, it would lock her inside, lock out the steering wheel, pedestrian, and emergency brakes, and lock (or more likely glue) her foot down on the accelerator must also have had the devious foresight to sit in on a long line of city project planning committees, and wait until an especially unyielding structure near her address was approved- just so they could get the jump on her, and send her hurtling towards something unfamiliar. Whoever had done this must really hate her to go to such lengths to make her final moments on Earth so confusing. This was the only way she could explain her current situation of driving very quickly towards a very long red wall she was sure had not been dividing pointlessly into her street yesterday.
It struck Esther.
When Esther came to it took her some time to realize she was still in her car, first of all because she had been pushed into a very different position than the one she had been in when she'd passed out, and second because of the initial groggy effects of escaping an inescapable death. She was now lying on her back, her arms stretched behind her onto what remained of the back seat, her legs splayed over her head.
CRUUUNCH.
The metal of the tortured car screamed out at a new stress. Esther snapped her head up to look at her arms again.
Something was now jutting through the warped roof, something that hadn't been there before. Esther recognized it as a jagged piece of red brick, the same red brick that was meant to pulverize her into jelly seconds ago- seconds as far as she was concerned at least- hovering above her trapped arms. If it had the weight above it that Esther suspected, it would at any minute slam down and crush everything above her right wrist, and everything above her left elbow.
She stared, waiting. There was no movement on the part of the part of the wall.
She turned her focus back to the windshield to see where the light was coming from. The instant her stare left the brick...
CRUUUUUUNCH.

Just realized I missed the deadline, but I'll post this anyway. Just a rough draft beginning I came up with tonight.

Gustavo had grown the wrong way, and he had grown much too much. When he was naught but a tater tot, and the boughs of his mother tree were bare for winter, he had confused them with the her roots. An easy mistake to make- easy at least for a juvenile tuber plunged forth to life in the dark womb of a tree.
Gustavo wasn't enlightened to his poor judgement, as he'd never met anyone who had grown the right way. In fact, he wasn't much of one for any socializing at all, as the only company he ever got in the musty underground was worms, or worm-like creatures, whose shameful agenda in visiting the gargantuan potato was not at all neighborly chumminess, but to sneak a nibble at his soft white potato flesh. Gustavo developed a somewhat skewed and pessimistic perception of other people, and considering this upbringing, I think we might forgive him. He'd been dealt a bad hand. He'd grown the wrong way, though he didn't know it. And just think, some days you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and think you have it pretty bad. Imagine waking up on the wrong side of the Earth's crust.
It IS necessary, before you ask, to generate this abundance of sympathy for our protagonist potato, to prepare you for the torrent of bad manners directed at wandering innocents that unfortunately comes from this very potato in the next paragraph. It is necessary to remind you he doesn't know any better, or else you might consider him the villain of our story.

I think it's supposed to be like a narration, but I agree it's confusing.

At 1/7/13 10:11 PM, ngmastah wrote: So, I recently read some Chuck Palahniuk books, as well as, Brave New World and I was inspired to write something about consumerism, capitalism, and shit like that. This is what I have so far, not really planning on writing a novel or anything but it'd be awesome if I could get some critique/direction on where to go with this, if I should really go anywhere with it at all.

I walk briskly down the hallway, observing the absolute beauty of the hotel. Unlike the unenlightened, I am not confused about the aesthetic nature of my surroundings. Every object in this hallway, down to the finest detail is a product. A delicately crafted product, created by an infinite amount of consumers, and an infinite amount of competition. Because of this very reason, all these products are at their absolute best; molded, shaped, and sculpted by one of the strongest human emotions that exists, the desire to best another man. This quality shows; these products appear smoother, sleeker, and much more pleasing to the eye than the crude, chaotic shapes of the natural world. Yes, there is not a single star in the universe that can shine as bright as the TESLAÃ'© bulbs that dangle and sparkle overhead of me. Just like how the lighting fixtures have more radiance than the brightest stars, the serene and calming nature of the white walls around me also possess a similar effect. Yes, there is nothing in the universe that is cleaner than the speck-free walls around me, created with the most perfect dimensions and size ratios, these walls epitomize the standard of perfection society has today. But I am not separated from this seemingly-perfect world, my white, double-breasted Desiderio suit-jacket, and matching dress pants made with HYDPK material is the flawless complement to this hallway. It is as if the material world and I are one, both immaculate, cool objects that counterpart each other. This is why I enjoy my job so much, I am able to spend so much time in settings that reflect my personality.
But enough about the allure that both the hallway and I share, I must get on with my task, for if I get distracted, the transaction will be cancelled. I stop, and see the room number 'one zero four' right in front of me, slowly, I open my suitcase from Perfezione, admiring the golden trim outlining the edges of the suitcase, which complements the solid, jet-black, leather exterior. What lies within my suitcase, is perhaps the most fascinating piece of technology I have seen, it is a MAG 3025 MAG-FIELDÃ'© Powered Gauss Rifle, capable of disassembling a man in seconds. I take the three separate pieces and put them together to give life to a weapon that will be used to take lives. I carefully close my suit case, and place it against the wall, I proceed to check my SOLAREXÃ'© watch, it is 11:59 pm, one minute early for the assassination. Being the punctual and polite man that I am, I wait an extra minute (For my contract states that the assassination take place at 12:00 AM), this is the point when I break down the door, staring eye-to-eye with my target who appears calm; apathetic to my sudden, unexpected entrance. Predictable behavior. In an instant, the man who was once a living breathing human being is dead, the skull which once housed his very personality, his very being is now merely a remnant of its original form, what remains is bone fragments, blood, and brain matter. Although the entire room is covered by his bodily fluids, I remain untouched. Thanks to the ultra-hydrophobic material my Desiderio suit is made of, all the blood that came into contact with my suit merely slid off, as if I didn't commit the act at all. The suit was very expensive, but it provides a barrier for me, seperating my clean, sterile appearance from the bloody and dirty work that I do. Even in death the man appears very calm. No one puts up a fight anymore, in a future where everything has a price, everyone has an expiry date.
The deed is done, I check my Orange (c) 60 TB Phone with LiteSpeed and check the LIBERTY (c) banking application. Excellent, a sum of five thousand dollars has been recently added to my bank account. Now that my target has expired, it is also time for its perpetrator to retire as well, I being to slowly take apart my rifle while appreciating it's aesthetic shape and appearance. I am pleased with the brand of firearms that I use. While many other weapons manufacturer's attempt to create a "personal" feel by making parts of their weapon's handcrafted, MAG (c) persists in crafting their firearms through only the use of machines. This is exceptional in that these weapons lack that risk of human error that others might possess. I place the rifle carefully into my briefcase, and then proceed to imprison it once again.

Well, as a (I assume) young writer you're definitely gonna hear this type of criticism a lot. I do. You're real verbose, which is great, but this can also seriously harm the quality of your flow. It's easy to get overzealous with flowery language as a young writer, especially as an avid reader- it's something schools tend to beat into us as well. But if you really want to create an interesting story, or any kind of serious piece of writing for that matter, and have the reader's focus drawn to the idea rather than your impressive vocabulary and cleverness, you need to get over that shit and place yourself and your style in the background. Because right now, your story is taking a backseat to you. Cut the fat, and just tell the story. With practice, you and your style will emerge naturally, no matter how lean you write.

Some examples of what I mean: "Then proceed to imprison it once again." "These walls epitomize the standard of perfection society has today." "The suit was very expensive, but it provides a barrier for me, seperating my clean, sterile appearance from the bloody and dirty work that I do." So much for saying so little. What's more, it sounds flimsy, non-committal. Like you don't trust that you have something to say, so you hide it with migraine-inducing layers of fluff and adjectives. You don't have to write everything like it's a script for an action movie either, but you can certainly find some middle ground

This heavy articulation is especially noticeable in your character's internal monologue, which, now that I look, is apparently the whole thing. Know why? Because nobody talks or thinks like this. That's why I couldn't even tell that all of it was him talking. Because it's not him talking, it's you writing. And you're having way too much fun with it too, at our expense: those painfully long descriptive paragraphs that feel like they were written by some guy in a marketing firm completely kill your pacing. Not to mention your main character.

All in all, it's not shit. I mean in the grand scheme of things it's shit, but everyone's beginnings are. It's a good start. As to whether you should do something further with this in particular, it's hard to say because, once again, despite your wordiness, you didn't convey too much of a character or an idea, you more showed off a little masturbation. Which we all do from time to time- it's healthy. It seems like you have a good imagination, and the ability to have a lot of fun with your writing.

The whole naming a brand every five seconds is a little strange. I'm not going to say don't do that, it might just be a part of the story's style, but I will say it could probably be implemented in a less jarring way.

If you're serious about writing, and you wanna do up the form well, I strongly recommend Strunk and White's (EB White of Charlotte's Web) Elements of Style. It's small, a bit old, and pure fucking gold. Seriously, it can only help your writing. Every writer should have that book.

<Moved to here from general on the recommendation of Timmy>
Anyone desperate enough to make a comic with me? I obviously don't have the best available credentials, with the grand total of one crappy flash, but I have a sort of interesting storyline planned out in my head, at least in my opinion. It involves a voodoo doll coming to life through a mishap, who through various misadventures eventually finds who it was made for. They then search for the creator of the doll, and for the reasons it was made to harm this man who doesn't have any reason for a curse to be laid on him. This is only the beginning, it progresses far past their meeting with the dolls creator, maybe even to saving the world.
So its not the best, nor most original idea, but I think it has the potential to work well as a comic. I have plenty of ideas for it; problem is, I'm not a good enough artist.
I don't know how you guys are going to react to this, as I'm asking a lot. I want someone who legitimately likes the idea, and will stay with the project. I can't pay you, but you will definitely get half, or maybe more, of ad revenue, or any other profits. So, anyone interested?

Anyone desperate enough to make a comic with me? I obviously don't have the best available credentials, with the grand total of one crappy flash, but I have a sort of interesting storyline planned out in my head, at least in my opinion. It involves a voodoo doll coming to life through a mishap, who through various misadventures eventually finds who it was made for. They then search for the creator of the doll, and for the reasons it was made to harm this man who doesn't have any reason for a curse to be laid on him. This is only the beginning, it progresses far past their meeting with the dolls creator, maybe even to saving the world.
So its not the best, nor most original idea, but I think it has the potential to work well as a comic. I have plenty of ideas for it; problem is, I'm not a good enough artist.
I don't know how you guys are going to react to this, as I'm asking a lot. I want someone who legitimately likes the idea, and will stay with the project. I can't pay you, but you will definitely get half, or maybe more, of ad revenue, or any other profits. So, anyone interested?

At 5/19/10 11:28 PM, sasuke2910 wrote: - Flash Player is CRAP!!! Needs to be upgraded to the point where my flashes don't lag! I mean I can run Counter Strike at 1024x786 but I can't play a 550x400 flash if I put to much crap in it.

I have this EXACTLY, and it is just godamn terrible. I'll make an animation up to about two hundred frames, and when I preview it its choppy as hell, and I have to take a load of stuff out. I've tried to find an extension which allows for better swf previewing, but if anyone else does, please let me know.

That worked pretty well, thanks man

You could put the movie on very low quality.

AS2:
_root._quality = "low"

AS3:
stage.quality = "low"

If even that doesn't work you'll just have to test your movie on a faster computer, or remove stuff from the movie.

Hope this helps. :)

Thanks, I'll try that.

At 4/30/10 10:26 PM, harlemBlack wrote: I don't know why my submission doesn't belong to Pico Day 2010 collection. I did include the preloader but...

Someone has to recommend it for the collection, and it has to be approved.

So I'm trying to make an animation, and when I preview it with test movie, it lags at about the 250th frame. This makes it so I can't see if it's in sync. I'd just like a simple way to preview my work without lag.
Thanks

At 3/22/10 07:21 PM, Farza wrote:

At 3/22/10 07:19 PM, Archon68 wrote:

At 3/21/10 08:50 PM, MatchboxDan wrote: damn potato leek soup is good!

The fuck is this?

Its called people trying to get attention.

Geez, calm down, I just was just closing the discussion in a silly way. How on earth did this become a discussion thread? It's fine, just weird.

Ok, thanks. On a differing note, damn potato leek soup is good!

Sorry, it's supposed to say Question Bout The Newgrounds Flash Ads.

Can I use them anywhere? I'd like it if I could put them on my site for example. I'm aware of Google ads, but I like the NG ones.
It's cool if I can't, just thought I'd asked.

Shouldn't this say Friday, not Saturday?

At 12/20/09 01:52 AM, MatchboxDan wrote: Just messing around ; )

Oops, sorry, that last one had hit boxes in it

Just messing around ; )

I'll take flash the game

At 11/5/09 06:15 AM, hdxmike wrote:

At 11/5/09 12:30 AM, Nayhan wrote:

At 11/4/09 11:57 PM, MatchboxDan wrote:

At 11/4/09 11:49 PM, Nayhan wrote: What a lovely ending to the story.

Romantic really.

I think I'm going to cry...

BAWWWWWWW !

This makes me all fuzzy and warm inside

You should get that checked, your liver might be getting moldy.

At 11/4/09 11:49 PM, Nayhan wrote:

At 11/4/09 11:41 PM, MatchboxDan wrote: I GOT THEM FUCKING BACK!
One of you kind sexy people sent me a solution for my problem, I decompiled my own swfs! I'd like to thank you guys again, you're fucking awesome

Now maybe I can finish my week late Halloween animation.

What a lovely ending to the story.

Romantic really.

I GOT THEM FUCKING BACK!
One of you kind sexy people sent me a solution for my problem, I decompiled my own swfs! I'd like to thank you guys again, you're fucking awesome

Now maybe I can finish my week late Halloween animation.

It looks like the damn things are contaminated somehow. But thanks for your help everyone, you've been awesome.
Oh and I did back em up, but that didn't wotks either of course.

At 11/4/09 01:16 PM, PBass wrote: It's possible that you could have corrupted the files. Are they on a hard drive or a flash drive?
Try opening your .fla files on flash on a different computer to see if flash is the problem or your files are the problem.

Good Idea, but I dont know anyone who has flash

Last night, I started having problems with flash. It would not open any file with any animation, fbf or tween. It would however, open single frame (Multi-layer) Flash art. When I open a flash animation, it shows the weird screen below, and when I try testing the movie, or drawing, Flash crashes. I can't find anyone else who has had this problem. Oh, also I tried making a new animation in a new file, which opened perfectly.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if I won with this?

Sorry, link

I'm new to Newgrounds, and I just made my first flash. I know It's too short, but I hope you enjoy.