Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

I'm the...

I guess it's too bad you're all sluts.

At 4/7/06 11:31 PM, FlashSpark wrote:

At 4/7/06 10:01 PM, -Manman- wrote: Shadow of Sun stuff.

So you would say that the sight is legit. I was thinking about it but I don't know. It's one thing posting here and another submitting there if you know what I mean.

I don't follow your reasoning. I've posted in this thread before. Many times. Now I post longer articles on The Shadow Sun, simply because they don't get discarded in this massive BBS as easily.

You could always just check out the site.

The only thing I see wrong with it right now is that it doesn't have enough regular members. It's looking like a pretty promising little community though.

At 4/7/06 12:01 PM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote: What's the best way of showing a characters thoughts?

I think it sort of depends on what perspective you're writing from. In third person, you can add "he thought" to the end of a character's thoughts, and that's pretty explanitory to the reader. You can put their thoughts in italics as well, but I find it garbles the look of the paragraphs.

Thoughts don't seem to be too much of an issue when writing from first person though.

- I thought the plaintiff was lying, but I had to prove it. Otherwise, Willis was going to have a date with the chair for sure.

Unless it's expressed in quotations, all text is inside the main character's head. Easy enough.

TOTALLY OFF-TOPIC: I don't know if anyone has posted a link to The Shadow Sun yet. I've submitted a quadruplet of articles there for reading pleasure, and am sure to post more in the near future. I prefer to post them there as they don't get lost as easily as in this steaming pile of BBS.

At 3/31/06 05:13 PM, popop_ozu wrote:

At 3/31/06 05:10 PM, Scene wrote: It's too bad you signed over your soul to the devil to get good at being a VJ...

Exactly, you can't get out of it now.

I didn't sign anything. I was just naturally good at it. I can sell myself pretty well, and even work as a telemarketer.

It's retarded dinosaur bad.

If it's fixed now, I don't know why you're looking for help. But just so you know, you never, ever pull a computer's plug out of the wall while it is running. Never. This is MUY BAD. You can do serious damage that you can only fix with some expensive help. You know, like you found out.

I think you have a couple of hours to wait before you can pull that kind 'o crap.

I can fondly remember a time when I younger. A time when I was pure, naive, even stupid. A time when I wanted nothing more than to be a Video Jockey.

I would make my own videos, documenting myself as I introduced different videos. I would give all the relevant info about the artists, directors, even locations where the video was shot. I was flawless. When I would hear about the VJ searches and contests, I would practically piss my pants in excitement, hoping that this was going to be the year. (I was far to young at the time to even be eligible, but again, I wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.)

Time went on, and my dream lived on inside me for another few years. I would film myself less, but only because I had to concentrate more on school and my social life.

But then a change occurred in me. I began to see things in a new light, and gain more than a few new perspectives. I became sharper, and more eloquent in my speech and writing. It was as though my brain had woken up from a kind of blissful daydream. I remember thinking that this new change would only help me more in achieving my goal. I had no idea how wrong I was.

With my newfound change, I also began to experience new things. All the physical and mental experiences were no longer outside my reach, as I had the age and the resources to attain them. Some nights were spent locked in my own head, while other were spent far from home in new and exciting places. A lot of my new adventures involved music.

I got involved with a clique of "music kids," and for a time was the lead singer in a friend's band. During this time I was introduced to new types of music, and I found the majority of it met my approval. So much so, that I wondered how I could have lived without it.

But the new music that I was getting deeper and deeper involved with wasn't what I had known. I was used to the Top 40, the pop, the accepted music of society, the music shown to us by MuchMusic and MTV. Their music was what I had honed myself to deal with. This new music was something totally alien to them, but I found it to be more comfortable.

Needless to say, I was slightly confused for a time. But then I began to think that I could become the savior. I could breathe new air into the stagnant pool of girl-pop and alt-rock! I could be the best VJ ever, simply by being something different! I had all the skills, knowledge, and drive to make it. I was going to save music television.

But my new perception also enabled me to see a change in my target, my MuchMusic. Not only was it now different from the style that I had grown to love, it was its antithesis.

I began to watch various features on the channel and cringe in disgust. Whole hours dedicated to Hilary Duff, Hawthorne Heights, and Green Day soured my interest in even bothering to save the station. It seemed to me like they were too far-gone already. The new line up of VJs that they had enlisted didn't help either. They shilled bohemian fashion and retro-rock t-shirts, while promoting the latest Lindsay Lohan movie with as much enthusiasm as they could possibly muster. They were pathetic.

I couldn't imagine possibly being a part of that. I had no shame in previously wanting to, but in light of what the station had become I had no choice but to abandon all thoughts of joining their army of drones. It simply would have been too much for me to bear.

I still want to be seen, and still want to be heard. I want to be a big deal. But I also want to do it on my own terms. I don't want to be a VJ anymore. I want to be myself.

Fuck that shit foo'!
C's for life! Throw it down fo' Eight Tray!
Okay?
All day!

...stop eating my soap.
...quit having sex with my mom.
...eating all that food makes me want to throw you out a window.
...the Internet is pure evil.
...if you smoke in my car, I'll kill us both.
...quit taking my pills while I'm asleep.
...I need those to live.
...quit fucking swearing so much, you fucking shit dumpster.
...I'm going to hang myself and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
...I really mean it.
...I want you to stick your face into this blender as far as you can.
...I want you to clean up after we're done.
...I don't care how big of a mess it makes.
...it looks bigger in person.
...say hello to my little friend.
...I meant big friend. Big.
...it's "turkey, ham, garbage, fist." Get it right, moron.
...it's called spousal abuse. Get used to it.
...keep your sunglasses on and no one will be the wiser.
...I get be Goro.
...the safety word is "butterscotch."
...it's because I love degrading you.
...no, you can't wipe it off. Not yet.
...I don't care if it is in your eyes.
...I'm going to hit you with a ball-peen hammer if you ask me again.
...we don't celebrate birthdays around here.
...I killed Santa, that's why.
...get me another drink.
...do it or I'll hit you again.
...you can get me a drink, or you can get my gun.
...it's all up to you.

25. Toast
Simple pleasures people. I can't think of a more perfect food. It's like, a Transformer of food. It starts out as something totally plain, but them BAM TOAST.

24. Underage drinking
How I miss it. It has truly lost all novelty now that I don't even get ID'd at the liqour store anymore. Enjoy it while you can young ones!

23. Fighting
Not even just physical fights, but arguments, diagreements, scraps. Anything. Any display of "I'm better than you so there," is just awesome. I love being wrong.

22. Starcraft
Words cannot describe the unabridged flawlessness of this game. It will stand the test of time and rise up again as the best game ever, ever.

21. Chocolate
It's a fucking aphrodisiac. Plus, it goes well on toast.

20. Winter
Honestly my favorite season. It brings snow, which means snowboarding, snow bunnies, and apres-shred festivities. I feel for you poor bastards who will never see any snow, ever. I really do.

19. Fucking
Um...yeah.

18. Having all my senses intact

17. Drawing
I take great joy in putting aside a couple of hours a day, just to listen to some music and draw. Not even anything in particular, or the drawing I need to do for school. Just drawing for the sake of it.

16. Your mom
HAHAHA. I got you good you fucker.

15. MONSTER
This book is the most amazing thing I have ever read. Monster: The autobiography of an L.A. gang member chronicles the story of Kody Scott aka. Monster Kody aka. Sanyika Shakur. It follows his life from when he was first inducted into the Crips until his latest incarceration. Amazing read. Look it up.

14. Transformers
I can't believe that they still have such a nostalgic effect on me. Harkening me back to younger days, the original series of cartoons and toys are truly my, and everyone else's, favorite.

13. Being a guy
I can't imagine being anything else. I'm not trying to be sexist, I just think I have it way better off being a man than if I was a woman. I'd spend less money at the bar, sure. But I'd take my stick and berries over anything, anyday.

12. Lying
I love it. And I can't stop. It is one of my best weapons, and my greatest flaw. The worst part is, I lie the most to people I know best.

11. Not being dead
Pretty obvious, but it has to go on the list.

10. Clothes right out of the dryer
I have been enjoying this way too much since I started doing my laundry more regularly. I will sometimes throw already cleaned and dried clothes back in the dryer, just so I can put them on afterwards. I have a problem.

9. Owning a pet
There is something to be said for having dependents, especially those as loyal as common domesticated animals.

8. Music
I can't imagine being alive without music. Hell, I can't imagine even being deaf. I'd go absolutely crazy.

7. Facial hair
Mine in particular. Scruffy = sexy. Ladies with facial hair need not apply.

6. Chicken
I mean in food format. While still alive, chickens are some of the foulest (fuck you, it's not a pun) creatures on earth. But cooked chicken flesh? Fucking A+.

5. Driving
I sometimes take portion of my day, and just drive for two hours straight. You can't imagine how relaxing some of the roads around can be. Just flying down the highway, windows down and music up. Heaven.

4. Art
Expression.

3. Working
Some of the happiest times in my life are when I'm putting in a hard day's work at a real, honest job.

2. January 17th, 2004
It's really special to me, anyway.

1. Friends
I mean, people I actually know. People who I can actually contact and know that they're around somewhere. Actual friends.

Math is fun.

And EVIL.

At 3/28/06 12:06 AM, Wadezilla wrote: What's wrong with anal sex?

Everything.

25. Being Naked
I just find it really uncomfortable, all the time. Say nothing for being with someone else, or a crowd. The main reason I don't do pornos.

24. Taxes
Pretty self-explanatory. I know I need to pay taxes so total chaos doesn't break out (or some shit). Doesn't mean I have to like it.

23. Birds
Fuck birds. Seriously. I hate birds. They say only pigeons are rats of the sky, but in all actuality all birds a disease-ridden death merchants. I swear to god I'll kill any feathered wildlife that comes within 20 feet of me.

22. The Internet
Sure, it's made our lives a hell of a lot easier and better. But at the same time, it's spawned veritable legions of stupid, lazy, porno-addicted assholes that revel in the fact that they are at home and they can insult someone who is thousands of miles away with little or no consequence. Boo Internets.

21. Airport security
I was detained by airport security in my hometown because my mother took a picture of me in the terminal just before I went off to a competition. I never made it to the competition.

20. Dying
I had to put this in here somewhere. I mean, how much does this suck! I know we all have to die, but it still sucks. Like taxes.

19. Puking
I was never a big fan of expunging the contents of my stomach. Something about it is just fucking gross.

18. Your mom
Hahaha. Ha. You dick.

17. Being cheated on
SO EMO! But seriously, Jess, I fucking hate you.

16. Country music
It just really, really blows as much as something can blow. It's bad enough I have to in a town where any girl worth going after listens to this shit. (I pick out the winners by pumping some Ladytron. This method doesn't leave me with many winners.)

15. Jail
Can't say I've ever been. But I've seen Oz.
No, really. I know you read all the papers saying that prisoners get treated too good in jail. Well, the jail might treat them good, but other inmates don't. Everyone treats everyone else like shit. It's constant abuse of all kinds.

14. STDs
Might have something to do with #17. I never found out for sure. It's all gone now.

13. Theatre
I'm talking about actual live theatre. This stuff is really boring. Not because I'm a Hollywood-molded robot who hates culture. We probably just don't have any good actors in our town. I need to move.

12. Awards shows
I really don't want to get into this one. Fuck it.

11. Little dogs
I have nothing against little dogs, actually. I'm more against what they have become. I actually owned a little Boston terrier for a time, until he caught a bad case of DEAD. I was considering getting another small dog, because they are so loyal, and more energetic than most other larger dogs. Plus, they are much easier to care for when living alone. I was advised against it however, mostly because it would be "too gay." I countered with the "chick magnet" side, which was parried by "we'll kick your dog every day." I hate my friends.

10. Crying men
I don't mean crying boys, or crying males in general. I mean full-on bawling grown men. I have seen enough of this for the rest of my life. I don't care what you might have had to deal with in the past, or what kind of Navy SEAL-type training you have. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will prepare you for a grown man who suddenly breaks down in the fetal position and begins to cry. Nothing.

9. Your mom
HAHAHA. Fuck.

8. First dates
God-damn! My idea of a successful first date is one where she recognizes me a few days later. Not that I haven't had any relationships, but the first actual date was always hell for me.

7. Talking on the phone
I wouldn't even own a phone if life didn't make it a fucking necessity. It's just really awkward to speak to someone when you can't read what their body language or facial expressions are telling you. It actually makes me feel like I'm blind.

6. July 25
The day I turn another year older, year after year. Scares the hell out of me.

5. War
Again, I don't really want to get into this one. It's just too much bullshit, and it's on the list.

4. Money
One of the worst ideas on the face of the planet. One can argue that this concept is so evil, it can never be destroyed. The primary root of sin, you always want it, but never have enough of it. There really is no escape.

3. Drivers
You know the ones. Drivers who are bad enough to aggravate you, but not bad enough to swerve off the road, crash into a boulder and die. I don't know where or how one person can pick up so many bad habits.

2. Anal sex
IT'S JUST FUCKING WRONG SO CUT IT OUT.

1. Your mom
HAHAHA. Fuck you man. Fuck you.

At 3/27/06 03:46 PM, -TheFaces wrote:

At 3/27/06 03:20 PM, -Manman- wrote: The irony is delicious.

You ruined it... it's supposed to be a stupid pun like "Can I get a spot because I have to much irony over here."

...are...are you serious?

Can I take your picture?

At 2/11/06 11:12 AM, DashDingo wrote: They took a part of Daft Punk's Technologic, slowed it down, and made it sound shitty.

It doesn't sound that bad, but it would have been better if he could have used more than the one line of "Technologic" for the chorus. It's the repetition in Busta's version that bugs me.

Slice of bread
Tomato slice
Black forest ham slice
Gouda cheese slice
Leaf of lettuce
Another slice of bread

Arranged in a sandwich of course.

At 3/27/06 03:13 PM, SirXVII wrote: Wow. You spent all that time writing a letter when in the end I just have to point out that you are stupid.

1. Blah
2. Blah Blah
3. I still can't hear you.

Your ability to not take a joke just makes you look dumber than you already are.

The irony is delicious.

At 3/27/06 01:36 PM, MrOrange2006 wrote:

I hope that they are able to get a sequel, and call it BEARS ON A PLANE!

Don't encourage that kind of fucking stupidity.

Dear Chuck,

How you doing? Probably pretty good, eh? All the recent attention you've been getting must be nice. Just about everyone this side of Siam knows your name by heart now, and is more than happy to bust out in song about it. You have a plethera of websites devoted to you, even if they are filled with absolute lies. "Chuck Norris Facts" my ass. You seem to be enjoying a kind of fame that was previously accessable only to whores and Paris Hilton in that you haven't done anything special.

It almost makes me wonder how you managed it. I mean, you're a shitty actor. You're "karate skills" are pretty weak, you have the personality of a drunk Texan, and your newfound rise to fame gives no explanation. And for the record, "Because Chuck Norris is fuckin' awesome!" is NOT a viable explanation.

I'm sure this isn't the first letter of this nature you've received. And that nature is an angry one. I have had three, I repeat three nights out at the bar ruined by you and your ilk. If I have to hear what Red Bull is supposedly made of or how many "speeds" you have, I'm going to kill myself. And I was seriously considering it for a time. I was going to go "Chuck Norris" on myself, just to protest the lunacy.

But then it hit me. How do you kill a legend? By becoming a greater one. But how do you surpass the legend of Chuck Norris? By being The Man who Killed Chuck Norris.

I can't believe I didn't see it before. All I have to do to make it stop is end your life Chuck. Mind you, it will be difficult. Not killing you, that shoudl be pretty easy. The hard part is going to be how to do it in a legendary fashion. Should I simply gun you down, Pacino-style? Duel at dawn? Throw you into a strategically-placed tank of sharks? No, I'll have to kill you with my bare hands Chuck. It's the only way to make sure your legend dies with you.

I can see the headlines now! "Chuck Norris felled by complete stranger! Karate skills useless against enraged pshycopath!"

"Norris never had a chance," they'll say. "What a fucking fake."

People might be upset for a time, but they'll get over it. Hell, your redneck fans might stop kicking each other in the face and crushing beer cans with karate chops long enough to give you a moment of silence. But then the silence will be broken by the roar of Jeff Gordon's 24 car and they'll forget all about you. You will be nothing but a memory, and not a very good one at that.

I hope you understand Chuck. This is the way it has to be. It's nothing personal, but I just can't stand it anymore. You simply have to go. I wish it was a simple as kidnapping you and leaving you in the desert somewhere, but people actually have to see me kill you in order to end the legend forever. If you were to just disappear, people will rationalize it into something retarded like, "he went to go kick some ass in outer space, 'cause Chuck don't need no fuckin' space suit!" Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.

Well, I'll see you soon Chuck. Take the time to say goodbye and make any apologies that you have to. You can try and prepare yourself, but it really won't do you any good. The best you can do is try and be a good sport about it and put on a little show for the people. You know, try valiantly to defend yourself against my onslaught with little success. Just think of it as role reversal. Now you get to play the bad guy who dies like a dog at the hands of an adversary he doesn't know.

See you later Chuck,

Love, me

At 3/25/06 04:02 PM, Frogcloset wrote: what about the people been born while your killing the others
your logic is flawed

What about the fact that you'd never actually live for 76 million years you dumb turd.

You're fuckin' flawed.

Metal Gear Get A Fucking Imagination You Leech

- 180,905,023 other people share your birthday.
- It would take 1,456,345 pounds of plastique to blow all these people up.
- It would take you 76,633,377 years to kill all these people by hand.
- Accomplishing this would earn you 4,522,625,575 more years behind bars.
- You would get ass-raped 27,135,753,450 times while you were in jail.

No lie. Fuck, I wish I was lying.

I recently got laid off again from my job at the warehouse, so my friend suggested this telemarketing place. 12 bucks an hour, and you get to make up your own schedule. It sounds pretty good, so I go in for an interview and a testing session.

I get hired almost on the spot. I guess they think I have a good voice for the job. They sit me down at a station that afternoon and tell me to go at it.

The first name that is dailed for me is, I shit you not, ZYZKERWEIZ. I didn't realize we made calls to fucking Jupiter.

I spent the next hour repeating the same message to strangers while they were trying to eat dinner.

I now belong on the lowest rung of the scum-ladder. Ahead of me are car salesmen and lawyers. Why? Because at least they get their own jokes. There aren't any telemarketer jokes. People just look at you with pity and disgust.

"Did you hear the one about the guy who worked as a telemarketer for three weeks?"
"No."
"He choked himself to death with his headset."
"HAHAHA! What a fucker!"

I miss being in school.

Are you for real?

Can...can I take your picture?

Lack of an appropriate driver on your computer at home?

01-17-04 - A thing

I was awake for hours last night
From dusk until the next day's light
Not a blink of rest had I
Yearning for the way we fight

Bites and claws and venom's blight
Justified in our own sight
How pained we must have appeared
They don't know why we have to fight

Almost nightly, our private dance
We knew the risk, we knew the chance
One of us right, or one of us wrong
One now with life, but no romance

The light is meant to quell the storm
But our fabric is far too torn
No needle nor thread will sew a cure
For this gift, or your scorn

Answers lie somewhere not here
Somewhere with sympathetic jeers
I'm probably never coming home
But that's what's going to stop the tears

My words would poison, hurt, and maim
The life now given to our shame
There is now no more us or we
Write only to tell me the name

I hope I'm not under my shower. It's frickin' heavy.

IN the shower is another matter. It a strict segway of cleanliness.

1. Wet self.
2. Soap body, head to feet.
3. Wet hair.
4. Shampoo.
5. Condition.
6. Dry and fluff, medium heat.
7. Apply scent of the day. (Today was coconut)
8. Dress.
9. Rock world.