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These guys make lovely church music~

At 5/23/14 03:14 PM, kieron1 wrote: Listen honestly that poem was amazing and i could relate to all of it don't say it's bad be proud of a piece of work like this. Also if your writing about how you feel right now i'm 100% sure it will sort its self out. Keep writing because this is amazing!!!!

Just a few long thoughts put into words~ Thanks a bunch.

At 5/22/14 02:21 PM, Tremax wrote:

At 5/22/14 12:45 AM, Little-Kinky wrote: It's terrible, and I accept it~ But I'd love if someone would force them self through the entire thing-
I wouldn't call it a poem, it's just a thing.

If you think it's terrible, why post it?
And why make us waste our time? Post something you're proud of and then ask people for constructive feedback.
You've already sold yourself short.

Because I wanted to share? It's a spur-of-the-moment thing I wrote and felt like posting. I'm not looking for constructive criticism, I'm more looking for comments on... Its contents?

It's terrible, and I accept it~ But I'd love if someone would force them self through the entire thing-
I wouldn't call it a poem, it's just a thing.
____

Grief

Is that what they call it?
When you sit alone at night, listening to the wind blowing
Feeling your tears flowing
Thinking about the black hole that has opened in your heart?

Grief- is that the term they key?
When they find you convulsing on the floor, helpless sobs spilling from your body, wishing the pain would subside?

Grief.
So many other words that work:
Scared, Depressed, Confused, Scarred
Lonely
Yet, Grief is the one that springs from the murk

Grief?
Do you use it to cover my real feelings under its blanket?
Do you think melting the hundreds of emotions into one will make them easier to manage?
Or do you simply not know how to act, not know how to deal with the damage?

Grief~
I suppose it may fit this situation- but what do you call it when you find me with the calender?
Find me counting off the days, the hours, the minutes?
Every day, starting from that dreaded black hole of a date and working to the present
Every day, checking the numbers, the dates, the notes- making sure I haven't lost count..

I haven't.
Three years, today.
As if I needed to check the date at all

So, Grief.
Everyone seems to think you are the cause of my woes
And all seem to think you are the reaper that haunts my prose
I suppose...

But Grief, oh grief, don't take all the credit.
For I've wedded your father, slept with your mother, was beaten by your brother, and raped by your sister
That's Sadness, Depression, Exhaustion, and Loneliness, respectively.

So call me a slut, for taking on your family in such a way. Say I'm a whore for getting into the things that I have:
Go ahead, I see where you're coming from.
But Grief, don't forget that you're apparently the cause for my actions!
Don't forget that you're the reason I put out!

You're not the reason I put myself out of control-
I do it so I can be in control!
We both know very well I couldn't stop, start, or intervene in what happened on that damn day,
But at least I take comfort in the choice of not having a choice.

So, Grief, once again.
I say: go away, for today.
I've had my fill from you
You know how it works: You go first, then your father, then your mother, then your brother, and your sister and I elope.
It's how it's been for the past three years, and if every person who hails you when they see me is to be believed, it is how it shall be for years to come.
____________

To say I didn't know where I was going with this would be a lie. It's a jumble of bad poetry, and in general, jumbled. Still, I needed to vent. Every word has its purpose. Thoughts?

At 5/19/14 09:58 PM, Sensationalism wrote:

At 5/19/14 09:54 PM, SansNumbers wrote:

Stupidly drastic. I mean shit, I was still forced to play outside despite my horrible allergies and asthma. Keep your kid away from their food allergens and keep an epi-pen handy. Don't make it everyone else's fucking problem. I hate that shit.

They don't allow us to keep any medication on us whatsoever, including Epis~ You're supposed to check them in with the nurse, otherwise face the punishment for possessing drugs on school property.
Nobody follows it, but still.

Anyway, my school has a very lenient lunch program. You can easily apply for reduced-price lunch (like, less than a dollar for the entree, milk/juice, two fruits and two vegetables). You can also get the free lunch if you ask nicely enough, or if you have a low income household.

The school, I think, has a responsibility to offer the kids they're keeping for 6.5 hours a chance to eat and provide them things to purchase there. No problems at my school, besides absolutely TERRIBLE quality food.

We recently implemented a plan to convince (force) the kids to start eating fruit. By that, I mean they force you to take a piece of fruit with your lunch. It's been called a success and we've even gotten those silly certificates saying we're outstanding for implementing the plan.

Meanwhile, nearly all of it gets thrown away because it's just so.... Bad. Nobody trusts it, if that makes sense, and more times than not, you get a bad taste that tells you something's wrong with it, so you bin it.

----

Lunches need to be... Fixed.

Not that I would know, but I -think- you just have to look harder for the "grit"~

At 5/18/14 10:16 AM, WahyahRanger wrote: I just keep an asshole expression on my face and that way nobody fucks with me.

Doesn't have to be a fight~ Could be a car accident, death, threat, controversy- anything could trigger it!

At 5/18/14 10:15 AM, SansNumbers wrote:

At 5/18/14 10:14 AM, Little-Kinky wrote: You've never had a flight/flight response?

It's very hard choosing between flight and flight.

That's why some people absolutely freeze up when they have to~

At 5/18/14 10:13 AM, Slint wrote:

At 5/18/14 10:10 AM, WahyahRanger wrote: Fight it off,

or run, flee, or fly, if you're a really talented human being.

Oh I see.

Well then I always choose fight. Even in the most retarded of situations I go for the fight, I'm an idiot.
But if I am to be robbed or beaten I'd feel better knowing at least one of them went home with a bloody nose.

I -don't- think you understand what this is about~

You've never had a flight/flight response?

The feeling of having your body try to take over in a dangerous, or high-stress situation is pretty neat.

Heart pounding in your ears?
Everything tensing up?
Feel the need to act immediately?
Does your body seem to wanna move by itself?

That's what I feel the few times this has really happened~ How about you?

It's your imagination~ Same amount of people posting, they're just all doing it at once.

At 5/14/14 04:00 PM, Tremulos wrote: Wow way to replace the Calendar instead of adding a separate entry, noob

1/10 for making me reply

Do we really need the calender, anyway?

Please explain!

I have an endless list of fetishes~

Most recently, I've been really into gas masks and public humiliation. Neat, right?

#literally crying, right now.

Probably you, or..

Pretty much any song from the Enigmatic Box Of Sound gets me~

And then, to cheer myself up, I listen to THIS

Last post.

I was going to keep trying for my best score, but apparently they only give you three readings, so it would be cheating to keep trying. That's about as well as I'm going to do~

I tried again. This time, it gave me a snipped from Alice to read~

This is fun.

The person I'm with now, right? They moved here from New York.

It turns out, we've seen each other at a mall nearby before~ Never said anything to each other, we were just strangers.

What's really odd, is it turns out we've actually met online before on IMVU. That was a fun realization~

Those are the only ones I can think of~

At 3/9/14 12:30 PM, ManDeep wrote:

Whenever I see Mandeep, I think of...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSMoxfkv_qM

That. NSFW

I was the tallest person in Kindergarten for half a year. Does that count?

Mittens!

I thought the title said TrackIR, and I got excited...

I'm only 17, so say what you will~

But about half a year ago, I started to get really anxious, and I was always on the edge of anger. Cried over every thought on every night, and nearly drove myself mental. I am emotional, but I was a wreck.

I was at that point where I needed to decide what I want to do after high school, right? It killed me. A student, athlete, lots of community service, blah, blah. I could pretty much got to any college in the state, including Yale. The entirety of my extended family called almost daily, waiting to see what college I picked. All of the people around me in school were locking in what they wanted to do, and I was just lost.

Err- long story short, I'm going into the military~. Everyone says I'm wasting my brain- and they're probably right. But ya. Hard decisions that'll impact your future suck. If it's really, really troubling you, you should take as much time as you can to think on it, then make a decision you're happy with. The only thing is, once you've made it, you have to stick with it in your head~ If you're still having real, real seconds thoughts, then you're probably doing the wrong thing.

People still buy physical lightbulbs?

Why not get cloud illumination?

Heya.

So I've pretty much finished up the first chapter of one of my stories, and I'm looking for a few reviews!

It's right here.

This story in particular sort of got bumped to the back of my projects between a few other stories, as well as work. By that I just mean I never got around to the editing it. I've been having a ball with it during my free time.

Thoughts?

Possibly....

This?

The next time you spot it, call them out on it.

It's a lot harder to mess with someone when you know there's someone else there with them.