Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 6/27/13 11:18 PM, bigCman321 wrote: Finished up a "painting" of one of my first OC's today. If anyone wants to give it a shot that'd be cool. I'll try to draw someone else's character.

I got bored. Have a picture. Your signature sucks so I improved it. Considerably.

I stole the idea from somewhere. Don't remember. For the signature, that is. I know where I stole the idea for the character from. Fuck.

At 6/27/13 12:36 AM, PatBest22 wrote:

At 6/27/13 12:25 AM, lovingthedark wrote: Switching to http://tinychat.com/ngart - because I like topical urls.

Haven't really been able to connect to tinychat in a few days. Is this only happening to me?

I keep getting this shit. This happening to anyone else?

Not just this room, happens all the ones posted in this thread. And it's been happening the past few weeks. Then when I switch to a different connection (say on an ipad or some shit), nobodies in the fucking room.

We should have a pinned topic for all moaning about motivation. There's only ever the two stock responses.

1) Keep drawing until you get motivated.
2) Keep drawing until you get motivated (except worded differently and two fucking paragraphs longer than it needs to be).

There. You're now a master on persisting through bouts of creative exhaustion, with techniques that only other masters will be able to match. You're welcome.

At 6/27/13 11:38 PM, Aigis wrote:

At 6/27/13 11:21 PM, LeeIsMyName wrote: My girlfriend forcing me to do it was the only thing I've drawn in this entire time.

what?????

Are you telling me that after a rowdy bout of depraved BDSM themed sexual intercourse you're not ready to scribble away? I think that at the least it'd be very inspiring.

At 6/17/13 04:20 PM, TomFulp wrote: Really wonder how many people would keep them on-hand.

I would never let mine leave my wallet.

Just walking up to random assholes and dropping
"Now, I know you're wondering who I am. With my suave voice, chiseled abs and shaved nipples, how could you not? Don't worry, I can see the sheer amount of curiosity eating you up. Look at me when I'm speaking to you, I'm not technically nude in public.

I'll have you know I'm a relatively unknown user of a fairly popular flash-based website. Here's my card. Keep it. It'll come in handy."
Then just strutting away or something.

Some other uses for this magnificent idea:
- Slipping it to a police officer who's giving you a ticket and telling them "I hope this will change your mind."
- Handing them out at funerals, and telling them that you specialize in this type of occasion.
- Stapling them to five-dollar notes and giving them to kids with a wink and a "Don't tell your mother".

Yes, I can see no way that this could go wrong. At all, really.

Anyone who names themself "Asskiller" is okay in my book. I can assure you that I'm never going to visit Reddit, though. The layout is so aggressively awful that browsing it for any length of time makes me nauseous. I don't know how people put up with it.

At 6/14/13 11:30 AM, TomFulp wrote: People nowadays aren't as into forums as they used to be, they have SO MANY online places to hang out and socialize. If someone chooses to make the NG forum their place to socialize, it's like a GIFT that should be cherished...

Any two-bit webmaster can host a simple BBS, and just about every single webmaster has decided to do so. Why not sign onto our milky teats and discuss the dripping satchels of tender white meat with our other losers who've yet to realise that they're giving "obscurity" a bad name?

There are forums and gatherings of chucklefucks still that charge for admission and have a waiting list to filter out the less determined tits. This is hilarious on more levels then I can count, which is up to 3.

"No "I'm new" threads" was always a dumb rule because it filtered out the kind of people still greenhorned enough to be susceptible to Stockholm Syndrome and call the first forum they land on "supreme gathering of not-chucklefucks". Chances are that if someone isn't immediately going to try and make a "I'm new" thread, then they've already gone through this tumblefuck charade before and as such will not beg forgiveness when you backhand them for being such a little bitch.

So. This new direction makes sense.

At 6/12/13 10:22 AM, Escalus wrote:

At 6/12/13 09:34 AM, kakalxlax wrote: i know what he meant.... he is just jealous

You know there are more reasons to say "No" than just jealousy.

This isn't one of times where those other reasons matter. Template is obviously insanely jealous. I have to admit, I'm fairly jealous of kaklakkywaks myself. A reasonable jealousy. The sort of jealousy that says "If you ask me to post nudes, I'll do it. But if not? Hey, that's okay too".

Here's a hint for everyone, including you who so desperately wishes to get critiqued.

Critique others. Lots people, over a period of several months, and watch as these people who were on their hands and knees begging for your spunky love change exactly jack shit, continue to suck and wonder why exactly it is you wasted your fucking time on a bunch of fucking ingrates who wouldn't change if you broke their hands, their kneecaps and their noses then rubbed their faces in the fucking drawings that they so desperately wish would magically become better.

Become embittered as you realise these sack-of-shit dime-a-dozen kids aren't looking for anything approaching critique, just validation, and even at their most convincing are more likely to resent you for taking the time out of your fucking day to give them a proper fucking critique.

This thread has been tried before, more times then I can be bothered to count. Take a fucking guess as to how they ended.

At 6/11/13 10:25 PM, Poseidon98 wrote: BTW: PLEASE NO HATING (the amount of Newgrounds haters, is TO DAMN HIGH!)

It's inversely proportional to the amount of people who bother to proofread their fucking posts.

I'm not going to give you a critique, and in fact nobody is. You're not worth my time. I doubt you classify hating as anything other then "negative judgement". Which is exactly what Critique fucking is.

But here's a few tips.

1) Don't invert your pictures. You're not fooling anyone and it looks like shit.
2) Use a scanner. And if you're using a scanner, get one that doesn't suck. Anything resembling closer inspection on this blurry-ass picture leaves me nauseous.
3) Spend more time on construction. You've skipped right to the "fun parts" of rendering and rendering some more, and as a result you've got a lot of texture on a picture that makes no sense.

I could nitpick and point out how the feathers are clumped in random piles and are indistinguishable, the tail feathers look like wafers, the skull belongs to Frankenstein's marketable Mini-Monsters and the eyes were plucked from the face of Sonic the fucking Hedgehog, but you stopped listening a long time ago.

I need a drink.

At 6/11/13 06:42 AM, ornery wrote: He meant real porn and stolen porn, not drawn boobies.

Colour me disappointed that 14 year olds looking to spank their inky dinky winkies are still the primary demographic for the Art Portal. And colour me curious that some retarded chameleon-looking fridge-door drawing was confused for meat popsicles bumping uglies.

At 6/11/13 01:56 AM, DestinyArtsStudios wrote: that's (W)500x(H)800 px maximum = 4.000.000 sqr-px.

At 6/11/13 02:18 AM, DestinyArtsStudios wrote: sorry! i meant 500x500px maximum = 250.000.000 = perfect fit!, NO! "cuts!" needed, remember in "square!" pixels

You've been issued this limited edition and totally legit restraining order for your crimes against basic arithmetic.

At 6/10/13 03:48 PM, TurkeyOnAStick wrote: There's a shedload of porn that's been removed

That's actually being enforced now?

Neat.

At 1/28/13 09:05 AM, Template88 wrote: i for one welcome the new image size limit but 5000x5000 seems grossly excessive, 1000x1000 would've been adequate for basically anything but whatever its still awsome

Comics, collaborations, compilations - I've hit the old limit a fuckload of times.

Single images depicting one instance? Yeah, 1000 pixels squared would be more than enough. But that's not the only type of picture that gets submitted.

That fucking tinychat isn't working for me in the slightest - fucker can't be half-arsed to connect and that ain't nothing but a Prince Albert on my patience's dick being tugged in all the wrong directions so I'm giving a firm right the fuck up.

I like the idea of birthday gifs, so I made one. Been hankering for pixel art as of late.

Happy Birthday, chucklefuck.

At 5/23/13 04:19 AM, Spags wrote: Also in unrelated news, the new Daft Punk album is fantastic! You should all give it a listen.

I thought it was alright. Decent, if anything. Listenable. Good for listening to while drawing, but then it's repetitive and doesn't feature much in the way of vocals, and it's hard to fuck THAT up.

Everyone having their fucking birthday at this time of the year

How many orgies happen in October that I'm not invited to?

I googled "HOW 2 DRAW GUD" and took it from there.

not kidding

At 5/19/13 08:49 AM, Slint wrote: How do you explain the fact he has a son named jesus christ.

His named was transliterated into Latin as Jesus. His original name in Hebrew was "Yehosua", pronounced Joshua.

Etymology: 1
Uncultured Shits: 0

Sarcasm being difficult to interpret isn't some phenomena new to the Internet - sarcasm has been recorded as being undetectable in print form since 1580. The key to realizing why is recognizing how important nonverbal communication is to conveying ambivalence, the same reason written satire is often a lost cause.

There have, however been several proposed solutions:

At 5/19/13 01:38 AM, Dawnslayer wrote: I find the [/sarcasm] tag works best.

This is remarkably close to one of them: using special punctuation to denote when and where sarcasm is used. There's also the slightly less obvious method of exaggerating the message until it's completely ludicrous to believe it's intentional. However, both of these make the core intent of sarcasm completely obsolete; subtlety.

I prefer the other method - just post the message, and if no one understands it then to hell with them.

At 5/18/13 07:04 PM, darklink4567 wrote: You know what I'm talking about.

No I don't.

Calling every mutually sympathetic relationship a friendship, then discriminating in them beyond that using arbitrary criteria is a distinctly American trait. I don't have have "real friends", just friends.

Well actually, no I don't, but if I DID have friends, they'd just be friends, not "true" or "real".

At 5/18/13 10:59 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 5/12/13 03:59 PM, Psychopath wrote: Is it better to recreate a dead topic or necropost? It's safer to do the former but less redundant to do the latter.

Umm, I really have no idea what "necropost" means. What is it?

Common term for a post in a thread inactive for a relatively long period of time; for example, your post in this thread.

I treat threads that have fallen off the front page with the same listless attitude that I do a coin under the fridge. The BBS has claimed them, it is theirs now and I can't be arsed to go after them.

At 5/17/13 09:59 PM, DigitalStrip wrote:

At 5/17/13 09:56 PM, RacistBassist wrote:

At 5/17/13 09:54 PM, DigitalStrip wrote: Will I go to jail if it gets to big?

If you commit crimes

I just wanted to start one to see how big it would get hopefully no crimes are committed

That's not a gang, then, it's just a club with a dumb name.

Can't really expect you to read up, since you're asking a fucking forum for basic answers, but a gang is defined by that it engages in illegal behaviour. That's the technical difference between a regular congregation of individuals and a gang; criminal activity.

If your little social experiment gets big enough, you might be issued with a cease and desist because Freedom of Speech doesn't cover obscenity, which "Rabbit-Stranglers" most certainly is. There, you've learned two things today.

You can suppress your gag reflex by squeezing your left thumb in its fist.

Practice safe-sex. Prime-cut meat flails are a notorious choking hazard. Do not leave them unsupervised with children 6 years or younger.

This has been a public health statement. Thank you.

Hi everbody, my name is Lintire, and I'm an alcoholic.

and before one of you stupid dickheads tries to be cute, that was a joke

Once tried to ride my bike like a surfboard. This worked remarkably well, just remember to dismount before you run out of road. My hobbies include trying to perfect the over the shoulder roll (I've yet to start), painting, then dragging those paintings out into an abandoned alleyway and lighting the motherfuckers on fire using Redhead brand matches and a can of Axe deodorant. Best use for Axe I've seen.

There's no real dada or situationlist angle to it, it just summarizes my contempt for what a fucking waste of time art is. Artists are god-damned blight on society, metaphorical Clean Ones whose entire existence is a joke.

At 5/18/13 10:02 AM, Strength wrote:

At 5/18/13 07:08 AM, 111122223138 wrote:

I'm a Chemical Specialist, and she's a Chemical Equipment Maintainer. Lol.

Also, I look swanky in a Tux.
I am Logan Fierst.

i think i fucked your bitch dude

I've known at least four girls with that general facial bone structure. You could've fucked anyone's bitch.

Inquiring people about their financial situation just tends to remind them how money is the root of all their problems. It's not generally considered polite conversation.

I don't make much. I don't expect to, either.

At 5/17/13 08:28 PM, Heinrich wrote: The school I used to go to had coins all over the floors due to people discarding them or throwing them at others.

I knew a kid who you'd see bent double more often then not, chicken-picking yesterday's metal leftovers as if it was going to fund his way into college. The butt of every miser-related joke the school had to offer. If the term had been popular at the time, he probably would've been called a Jew at every available opportunity. As it was, he single-handedly curbed the populace's lack of attention to the contents of their wallets on his quest to be the first fleshbag magnet.

"It adds up" was probably his favourite saying. I like the think the accumulated derision at his petty greed "added up", too.

Not a bad guy.

There isn't a single benefit to rearing children that isn't distilled idealism.

I'm not an idealist.

If I was feeling particularly sentimental about my impact on the world, I'd strap two kilos of plastic explosive on a Chinese hooker and blow up an airport. I guarantee you no-one would forget that in a fucking hurry. Though I can see myself raising a child. Out of spite.

A fuck you to every inept pair of parents who started out dreaming of hope and happiness and subsequently had it all crushed by a world and a child who didn't give a shit about their Saturday morning fantasies. A child who knew all about the good, the bad, and ugly. I'd train that piece of shit to rule every two-bit motherfucker who crossed their path, if I had to do it with a hoop and a cat o' nine tails.

Less reliable then plastic explosive. More expensive, too. But sometimes, it's the thought that counts.

The Newgrounds tumblr page, far as I can tell, is about posting updates from interesting or popular creations/artists, along with a short comment on the contents.

This is the exact same service the Frontpage provides.

It breaks the succession of horse-themed bondage pornography that usually fills my dashboard, but there's no real reason to follow the blog, itself.

I don't care if you fuck two chicks and a dude right in front of me for all I care.

All for society at large, it's the difference between a burp and taking a piss in the street. Some people don't like it when you do either, some don't give a fuck, an some discriminate, make all sorts of arguments on the social acceptability and merits of belching versus relieving yourself. Hell, sometimes there's laws.

It's all arbitrary, man. Just go with the flow if you give a shit about what people think.

You have to look at it from the employer's perspective.

Hiring someone is a gigantic commitment - they're a constant drain on resources, and firing a less-than-stellar employee is harder then ever. It is, to say the least, a gigantic risk - and to decrease the chances of that gamble in these harsh economic times, employers are being stricter about who they hire.

Try looking through some guides on HOW to hire someone, not how you can get hired. They're incredibly comprehensive - recruiters are well aware of the costs of mis-hiring, and are doing everything in their power to subjugate that cost.

Point is, no-one owes you a job, especially in this struggling economy.

At 5/9/13 07:14 PM, dlxrevolution wrote: You should try looking up numbers of places that are hiring in the phone book or online, and constantly call the number ,asking for positions, until they get so irritated that they hire you. I've always been told that's a good method to use.

Somebody lied.

Call places that don't even say they're hiring, but being forceful or irritating is the worst possible mistake. Giving off the sense that you think you're entitled to a job will just have them hang up in seconds flat, blacklist your phone number, and laugh about the freak who wouldn't back off.

Cold-canvassing (the process of contacting businesses you'd like to work for at random, in person or at random) is your best bet if you haven't gotten a job before. Prior experience and other assurances that you're not a complete fucking waste of space are probably the most important aspects of any resume for any potential employee, and if you haven't got them (and I can't stress this enough - especially in this economy) then cold-canvassing is really your only avenue.

Your resume will end up at the bottom of a trash can the second that a competing would-be employee that does have those aspects crosses their sights.

Cold-canvassing means you're competing with nobody but yourself, shows both initiative, confidence, and performance under pressure (everyone knows how terrifying it is), and gives you that shot you need to prove to somebody that you're a reliable, respectable employee.

Prove you're an asset, and the jobs will come to you.

I don't care in the slightest about any of my pastimes.

Painting, writing, programming, animating, mathematics, physical exercise, videogames, design, physics; they're nothing to me. I've never achieved anything out of passion, only out of a dull spiting impulse. Honestly, the more I do, the more obvious it is that anything I do is a complete and utter waste of fucking time.

But then, what isn't?

As stated several times in this thread, the most common traits that girls desire in a guy are confidence and competence; unlike male ideals of attractiveness, it's not (at least completely) physical in nature. Of course, this doesn't mean that a girl will be solely attracted to those character traits, and they can find men attractive in the physical nature too. Of course, this doesn't mean that a girl will only date a guy if he's confident and competent.

Sweeping generalizations, at least in a field where personal taste accounts for literally every aspect, will serve no-one well.

Cockiness, or brashness, has a lot in common with traditional ideals of confidence. Remembering that most people don't see themselves or the people they like as "bad people", it's entirely possible and should even be expected that girls will find guys you don't personally like, attractive.

A few anecdotal first and second-hand accounts of this, and voila; guys like dickheads.

At 5/4/13 03:58 PM, FBIpolux wrote: OP: Bitter dickhead.

That's a granted.

Not to say you're somehow obligated to not feel bitter that you're completely ineffectual at wooing a girl. Contrary to what these weak, feeble "nice guys" believe, you shouldn't be weeping with gratitude that a girl has even noticed you.

These perpetuated ideals of "alpha" and "beta" are somewhat embarrassing to witness.

At 5/4/13 03:00 PM, LDAF wrote: I came in to find interesting discussion, and found some reasonable points in the OP's argument.

I may be out of touch with the community on General, but I don't exactly remember this forum being a bastion of reasonable conversation.

I feel sick to my stomach on behalf of the writers who had to resort to using such base forms of comedy to appeal to people too stupid to know "subtlety" if it out-witted them in front of their lover. Watching he lowest common denominator of "laughing at someone for being different to you" used to satiate these mongoloids is like watching the national IQ drop steadily before my very eyes.

It's gross, to say the least.

As for feeling sympathetic that overweight or obese people are being mocked for their grotesque bodies and sickening deposits of sagging tissue exacerbated by their vapid, shortsighted lifestyles that are rooted solely in pursuing comfort?

Last time I checked?

No.

At 5/8/13 04:24 PM, wankwest wrote: UR THOUGHTS NUGRUNDZ

I looked into it. Maybe this can shed some light on the current state of trailers.

Trailer editing agencies (or "Trailer houses", as they're colloquially known, and there's quite a few of them) operate independently of the creative team behind the film itself. Narrative editing (film or television) is lateral to Trailer editing; so the two studios, or departments as the case may be, have no direct contact whatsoever.

What usually happens is that a Trailer house is hired by the publishers and communicates solely with them - they feed the agency shots, dictate the mood of the trailer. Fair to say, the nearest candidate trailers have for a creative lead are the publishers. You can see where this is going.

Trailer editing is advertising, so crafting a narrative is only ever attempted when it will help the product. And most of the time, it wouldn't; publishers heavily follow trends and market-research. Once they convince people to watch the film, the actual content of the film isn't particularly a big concern for them. They've sold the product.

Remember, they're bean counters, not legitimate human beings.

The trailer industry isn't heavily regulated beyond what the advertising industry is - as long as it depicts the movie it's attempting to sell, then by-and-large it's kosher. Depicting the exact mood and tone of the film isn't currently a concern for the advertisement review panels. Being offensive or obscene are far bigger problems for them, and that's what they concentrate on.

So the Trailer houses are ordered by the publishers to emulate market trends, and the market trends are dictated by current trailers.

Welcome to Hollywood.