A word to the wise, children: when you're of legal age to partake in the libations of an alcoholic nature, keep a close eye on your wallet.
Last night, while getting what scientists call "totally and utterly shitfaced", I did not realize that my wallet had either fallen out of my pocket or was stolen. Now a night that was fun and silly and ended on the high note of hot makeouts has resulted in high stress levels, sadness, frustration, anger, and a plethora of other emotions that make me want to punch myself in the face for being so fucking oblivious to the plight of my wallet that, for the majority of the night, was tucked snugly in my back pocket.
tl;dr: Losing your wallet fucking sucks asshole.