At 11/23/09 08:26 AM, alejanpli5 wrote: So now I'm being told Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is a RPG.

"Rockstar has emphasized the personalization of the main protagonist by adding many RPG features."

wait...

Yeah, I'd definitely consider San Andreas to be an RPG in a lot of aspects. You don't have to have swords and sorcery to be considered a RPG, nor do you need turned based battles or clunky menu based combat. To be honest if you're playing Super Mario Bros. and you're so into it that you feel like you are Mario, that the character on screen in an extension of your every whim, then congratulations, you're role playing. I just never get that feeling in a game like Super Mario Bros.

I guess it depends on who you're talking to, but I think most people agree that role playing means something a little more in depth then just moving the character around the screen. True role playing is becoming that character, choosing how they interacts with the world and deciding how they develop. In Halo, you control master chief, but you're just talking him on a linear path. You're always going to run and gun and he's always going to deliver the same quips during the cutscenes.

That's also why a lot of people don't consider most JRPGs to be real RPGs. You've got the stats and you've got the gear, but the character development is completely out of your control. Plus, most of the time the stat development is purely on a linear track. A lot of JRPGs are trying to move away from that but you never see anything as free as a game like Fallout 3.

Didn't you almost completely give up games a while back because they were taking up too much of your time? Perhaps you might not want to push your luck and stay with games that don't have a history of destroying people's lives.

I wouldn't say intimidated, but I can't say that I'd be comfortable in a relationship where I felt like I was contributing a negligible amount of income. It's not that I want the women I'm with to be helpless without me, I've always preferred the independent type. There's just an innate need in me to provide in a meaningful way. I don't have a problem with a woman who makes more than me, but if it's an issue of her making millions while I'm not even doing 50k then I think having a long-term relationship would be hard.

I don't know, maybe that is a little misogynistic in a way, but I do think women have every right to make as much money as they can in whatever position they want.

At 11/20/09 01:34 AM, Samen wrote:

At 11/20/09 01:32 AM, Aci6 wrote: Where does it say its cock enhancing?

Extenze is an herbal supplement that's supposed to enhance your cock. I'm not sure if the drink is legit or not, though, parts of it look photoshopped.

Spoiler alert: it's not legit.

The FDA doesn't regulate herbal supplements so you can put all kinds of crazy claims on your product. Of course, that doesn't mean that they're safe. Remember a few years back when all those people started dieing because from diet products that contained ephedra? I doubt this shit is even good for you.

At 11/20/09 06:17 AM, Enoll wrote:

At 11/20/09 06:13 AM, WeirdJamFace wrote: It is my firm belief that this thread is pointless.

I just wanted to see if any of you fuckers had a 9-5 job, or if

I don't work nine to five, but I have seen the movie Nine to Five, which more than qualifies me to call myself completely cognizant of all that such a position entails.

All I know is that if Vampire Rain doesn't make it onto the list then there is no justice left in this world.

Still moving ahead and despite the game starting to pick up in terms of difficulty I continue to make headway. You know how a lot of RPGs tend to recycle previously defeated bosses as common enemies near the end of the game? This game has a real nasty habit of bringing back the bosses you've just bested in the very next area. This is a constant nuisance as the developers realized at this point that people like fighting bosses so they significantly upper their number. I've already exceeded the total number of bosses for the first game and I'm probably only about halfway through.

Another thing Ive learned is that while you certainly have the ability to push characters in certain developmental directions it's really in your best interest to make everyone a jack-of-all-trades. Invariable in an RPG certain enemies, and almost always the bosses, have a certain weaknesses that certain types of characters will be ineffective against. Most RPGs force you to work around your deficiencies, but the best way to overcome every encounter is to stock every character with the same layout of magic and strong weapons with a slight focus on defense for low HP ones. Oddly enough allowing complete control over your character's statistics and magic leaves you with a team of similar design rather than unique characters.

So to keep it short here's some quick points on my progress.

- Got sent to a mysterious island to recruit dragoons and wyrvens to my cause. I was excited by the prospect of seeing some bad-ass troops around the rebels camp. The fancy hat wearing 'tards that prance around there just don't seem capable of taking on an empire so massive that people simply call it the empire. Unfortunately that hardened nation of warriors couldn't stand a little poison in their drinking water (you hear that shit Kefka, that trick was old hat by the time you pulled it) and they were all dead, tough shit.

- Came back to find that the princess had been replaced by a hideous snake monster that tries to rape and devour Cock. I'd also like to recommend naming a character Cock if you ever play this game. It's a source of endless cheer to see the game declare that my Cock's strength has increased whenever mhy stats go up. After briefly considering the implications of reptile-human relations I decide to slay the abomination.

- Go to rescue the queen and promptly get captured. Fortunately the empire had the decency to leave me with all my weaponry and items as I sit in jail. Seriously, who do they have running this prison? That's day one stuff right their buddy. I have a copy of the empire's prison guard training manual, it says that shit on page one. "If you happen to capture a foursome of plucky teens make sure you TAKE THEIR FUCKING SHIT!!" They will come back to bring forth the empire's down fall. This shit happens all the time, don't be the douche to fuck it all up because you couldn't be arsed to confiscate the hundreds of eapons and healing items they drag around. Also, rape them if you get a chance, they have soft skin and even the dude's faces are pleasantly effeminate"

- Stormed castle Fynn, pretty straight forward stuff here. Go straight to a boss and kick his ass. I need to give the empire props for their etiquette on invading cities. They had the courtesy to not touch any of the valuable treasures of immeasurable wealth that sit, unhidden, in unlocked chests. I, of course, do not have that level of chivalry.

Do you have a plan for you future? Not every path in life requires going to college, but it kind of sounds like you're not interested in college just to be the one guy who doesn't want to go. I'd suggest going to community college for a semester or two if you're not entirely sure higher education is for you and you don't have any long-term goals set out. It's easier to have that foot in the door and then decide that you really don't want to continue than it is to stop your education and then start it up again. Plus, it will give you some time to get a little perspective on where you want to go in life.

At 11/16/09 07:36 PM, dirgeofcerberus wrote: Recently he has bought a shit load of add-ons and Carlos Mencia videos using my account.

You can't fool me, buddy. You purchased all those Carlos Mencia videos on your own and now you're too embarrassed to admit it so you try to pin it on some imaginary guy who is supposedly abusing your account. I can't really blame you. I'd rather tell people that I gave my account information away to a stranger over admitting that I willingly purchased episodes of Mind of Mencia too.

Step Brothers is the kind of movie that only appeals to twelve year-olds who are seeing their first "dirty comedy." Even among the genre of comedies that are just a parade of puerile gags strung together by a paper thin plot Step Brother wouldn't be considered excellent.

Major League Felching

I don't think there's anything that doesn't fly out in California (besides gay marriage).

At 11/15/09 05:52 PM, zen64 wrote: Quick question, chief. Are you playing FFII the legit way or the "press attack or magic then go back and continue to completely destroy the game" way. If it's the latter, I don't blame you at all, man.

The GBA version gets rid of that cheat. I think they tweaked the system so that you shouldn't have to resort to dastardly tactics to get your character up to snuff. In any case I'd be trying my hardest not to sink to that level if it was available.

So where was I? Oh yes I acquired the Mythril and have now been tasked with destroying the empire's dreadnought, which is a real shame. I find myself having a hard time bringing myself to destroy something with a name as awesome as "dreadnought." Unfortunately this game doesn't offer you the option of defecting to the empires side so blow it up I must.

I go to the town where it's being build, slip through some sewers, but egads! The Black Knight (Oh golly gee-willakers, what could his real identity be?) informs me that I'm too late and the dreadnought goes on a killing spree. I've got to hand it to this game, it's actually pretty dark as far as games on the NES go. Major character die left and right, villages are besieged with only an elderly man left crying in the streets to mourn the dead, young nubile virgins are raped and implanted with the unholy seed of thousand screaming hell-beasts.

So now I have to find open the gates to this one place to get some kind of fire to blow up the dreadnought. Unfortunately I get lost for an hour at this point because I didn't realize that you have to talk to the king to get the necessary information. Being the kind of RPG player who always talks to every character after every major event just incase they have some slightly different dialogue I already did that. But no, that was wrong. You have to talk to princess Hilda first before he'll give you that information. That's utter bullshit, if you mention the sunfire before you talk to Hilda he draws a fucking blank, but afterward he's got a fucking novel's worth of information. Fuck you king, I'm glad you're dead.

So for those keeping track -

Made it to the Keep: YAY
Got the torch: YAY
Got the sunfire: YAY
Princess gets her ass kidnapped: BOO
Infiltrated dreadnought: YAY
Princess is not in another dreadnought: YAY
Dreadnought goes boom: BOO
King dies: YAY

At 11/16/09 11:30 AM, SlipperyMooseCakes wrote: http://www.totallycrap.com/videos/videos _modern_warfare_2_sucks/

Can you really blame the guy? I had the same reaction when Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad failed to live up to my lofty expectations.

Call of Duty: Roads to Victory on the PSP.

Alright moving right along now, despite not being worthy of joining the resistance not to long ago, the rebel queen Hilda (what a unappealing name, and that's coming from someone who named the female in his party Testes) has entrusted me with securing a supply of mythril. This would have been easy if I wasn't wandering around for an hour to find the town of Salamand.

You see, at one point your path breaks off down two directions. If you take the left it's a short trip to Salamand and if you take the right you're going to be wandering around like an asshole. I think it's pretty clear that I was wandering like an asshole.

So eventually I get to a point where the monsters are to strong to fight so I work my way back and finally found the town I was looking for. If find my contact, but he thinks I'm not worth his time and I must prove myself. There's a fundamental difference between I+II right there. In final Fantasy the First motherfuckers were knocking down my door to offer me sacred quests, in here no one trusts me worth a shit. I can't really blame them, would you want a guy named Cock fighting at the head of your rebellion?

I should just leave this asshole to his own devices, but I'm a good guy so I work my way down to the caverns, free some slaves and then fight a boss that actually requires some thought. After the previous game I was expecting a five minute dungeon capped off by a boss that dies in three hits. This was a nice change of pace, the dungeon was deep, filled with hidden treasures and an optional boss that almost fucked me up.

Unfortunately the denizens of this world have no intention of making things easier for their inevitable saviors. You'd think after bringing the mythril back to the base they would suit me up with some badass weaponry and armor. No, I have to buy that shit on my own. You motherfuckers aren't even paying me. I have to scrounge my spare pocket change off of the corpses of goblins. Do you even know how bad the corpse of a goblin stinks? It's like shit, if shit could die and rot into an even more fetid pile of unholy stink.

At 11/15/09 04:32 AM, Hemlok wrote: Just got the full 1000 in Modern warfare 2. Estate Takedown on veteran wanted to make my gut a baby kitten...

Took you less than a week, it couldn't have been that bad.

At 11/15/09 12:26 AM, Jereminion wrote: i guess in your crappy town you all own old televisions but in modern towns we have hdtvs.

Doesn't change the fact that it's NOT OUT ON DVD YET, YOU TWAT.

Clearly responding to a post that anyone with a shred common sense would ignore.

What are you, stupid? Zombieland is still in theaters, DVDs of said movie do not currently exist. You can save it on Netflix so it gets delivered to your house when it does, but you're going to have to wait a while for that.

Granted the selection of instant view movies is slim at the moment and not everything is available as soon as the DVDs are released but they're doing a decent job of getting both new and old movies in at a steady clip. Picture quality has been mostly excellent for me. Occasionally things look a little wonky when the camera's moving around and once the audio and video was so badly off-sync that the movie was unwatchable. Still, it's definitely been better than Hulu quality for me.

Too many people are hating on Sonic nowadays, it's not edgy or cool to say that Sonic sucks anymore. I hereby announce that its officially cool to like Sonic again. God bless you, you furry blue rodent.

I just smashed my Xbox with a hammer. It is now little more than a pile of bent metal and fragmented circuitry peppered with tiny flakes of paint. Am I a hardcore gamer now?

At 11/13/09 10:44 PM, puddinN64 wrote: So, does Dawn of Soulds add or radically change the gameplay of the first Final Fantasy?

It's pretty much the same, just made less tedious. You level faster so there's almost no need for grinding, plus enemies are easier and the battles are streamlined so they proceed faster. On top of that you get the reworked dialogue, static "cutscenes" at certain points, and the four bous dungeons.

At 11/13/09 03:58 AM, HellboundNinja wrote: You really should toss in Tactics from the PSP and Crisis Core and dissidia for the shits and giggles part....all 3 are worth playing

I might consider it if I had a PSP. Unfortunately I don't, nor do I have the money to pick one up any time soon. I could get the original Tactics for the PS1, but the pacing of the tactics style games make them hard to riff on. I don't really want to tell people about my progress in a game if I can't make it entertaining. Of course I'm fairly certain I could find some clever things to say about X-2, so I may keep that in mind. If the leisurely pace of this challenge doesn't quite live up to the term masochism I could always suffer a girly-foo-foo game to punish myself a little.

At 11/13/09 05:00 AM, puddinN64 wrote: Would you recommend the first game for the NES for 5$?

If you want to be entertained I'd suggest Dawn of Souls for the GBA. You get FFI and FFII in vastly modernized packages and you can probably find it for under ten bucks. If you want the full NES experience then go for it. Just be aware that the pacing is going to be much slower than you're used to if you've never played an NES RPG before.

Welcome to the demod club. We meet at Fridays once a week for half off mozzarella sticks during happy hour.

Someone else owns a bad game. Now I no longer deserve to live.

At 11/12/09 04:02 PM, The-Omnipresence wrote: I was hoping you would be a bit more pissed off at the ending then that. I mean you go through all this crazy shit for what?

It was a crappy ending, but it wasn't all that frustrating because there was so little lead up to it. I had absolutely no attachment to the characters and my expectations for how everything would turn out were already low. At least the gameplay was solid and the battles were fast paced and you moved from place to place quick enough to keep me from getting bored.

In any case I've started FFII, I've taken full advantage of the naming system to turn this into the adventures of Cock, Testes, Taint, and Philip. The intro sets up some fairly standard RPG fare. Evil Empire is trying to take over the world. Big bad guy tosses fire monsters onto innocent villages. If only I could be on the side of the evil fire demon wielding empire this game might have my full attention.

So your motley band on teenagers who will undoubtedly be entrusted with restoring peace to an embattled kingdom run away like pansies and directly into RPG cliche #264, the early unwinnable battle that punctuates the idea that you start out your grand adventure in a feeble condition. Although I'll cut the game a little slack since it is 20 years old and it had to have still been a decent story telling technique back then.

So I get my shit by some kick ass black knights and wake up in a rebel hideout. I'm reintroduced to my team which includes a broad with disturbingly purple hair (apparently she took the time to meticulously die it before fleeing the invading amry) and a retarded caveman looking motherfucker who can only speak in sentence fragments. I'm sure that won't get annoying. So there's Cock, Taint, and Testes, but what about Philip. Oh god not Philip, he was my favorite.

Furious after having our homes destroyed my team tries to join the rebels, but despite being outmanned against an encroaching superpower they have some incredibly high standards and we're refused. Of course they have no trouble with pointing us in the direction of the heavily guarded city where our friend might be being tortured. That's surely a safe excursion.

So we take a trip there, (enduring a fifteen minute setback when I wander into the wrong area and get slaughtered by werewolves) play a little stealth game which involves the tricky skill of not going up to enemy soldiers and talking to them, talk to some dude who gives us a ring and dies. I personally like how we watch the heart-wrenching scene of a man's life slip through him, but the game then decides to play a jaunty little victory tune to announce that we've collected his ring. Long story short, we go to the rebel camp and apparently we've now proven ourselves and we're officially rebels and we get sent on out first mission. I can only imagine the excitement that ensues.

I've been debating whether or not to buy this game, mostly because I just put $600 into fixing my car and making any extraneous purchases doesn't seem fiscally responsible. My final decision has been to skip it for now. Have fun with your disposable incomes, you fucks.

Go for the discounted one. You'll eventually have enough points for the other so you might as well save yourself a few bucks.

At 11/11/09 08:12 PM, lifeofmystery wrote: father sonholy spirit.

OH my gracious lord god! i beg your great wisdom and omniscience (goodness right?), as i beg thy. Please et me have a copy of Modern Warfare 2, even though it may be sinful, or even if tis not, please give me a copy.

I'm channeling god and he says you're shit out of luck. He was going to answer your prayer, but the lines got crossed and your copy of MW2 got sent to a starving Ethiopian. Umbente says it was hard to swallow and cut his throat on the way down, but he's very grateful for any form of sustenance. On the bright side you are getting his loaf of bread, enjoy it.

At 11/12/09 01:32 PM, RDSchley wrote: what is your Team so far in FF1? warriorx3 + white mage?

Mine so far is Red/White/War/Thief

I just went with the standard Warrior/Monk/White Mage/Black Mage. Just sticking with the basics, no need to rock the boat.