Why do seemingly all of our favorite video game characters suck?

I'll tell you why, in this new thread devoted specifically to bashing and sullying the name of all game characters, hero and villain. Come one, come all, and bash any character you don't like, which, if you're like me, it will be all of these stupid assholes and more.

1. Link-Pretty boy fairy buttfuck.
2. Cloud-A spiky-headed pretty boy fairy buttfuck, with a sword that no one could ever wield physically.
3. Mario-Fat, lazy, plumber, who always, with the help of some gay invention or pathetic powerup, manages to save the princess and the world, with time left over for tennis, kart-racing and baseball.
4. Kratos-An overly-buff murderous asshole with blades on chains he somehow manages to throw and bring back without ever getting cut.
5. Sonic-...Come on, a hedgehog who runs at mach speeds and saves the world from some fatass mechanic with a really stupid haircut.
6. Master Chief-Some badass super-soldier with really big guns who saves the universe from a bunch of slugs.
7. Doomguy-another badass loner with really big guns who saves the universe from total annihilation about twelve times.
8. Bowser-a big mean turtle with spikes and firebreath who can't do jack shit to kill a fat, lazy plumber.
9. Ganon-An angry blue pig who gets killed multiple times by a faggot in green tights who has a fairy.
10. Sephiroth-A super-soldier asshole with a legendary sword that's a fucking mile long.

I could keep going, but that would take the fun out of this thread for the rest of you. I hope this thread makes a big hit, and pisses off a lot of faggoty fanboys.

You need cigarettes.

I haven't had any for twenty-four hours and I'm pissed off plenty.

Pay attention whores. I'll only explain to you how this all goes once.

Ganondorf loses first, cuz nobody likes him, plus he's not human which makes him also unfavorable. Then, Cloud and Link, being the pretty-boy fairy fucks that they both are, team up against Sephiroth and own him. Then Ganondorf rises, transforms into Ganon, then owns nobody, cuz he gets owned by Link and Cloud once more.

So now we have but Link and Cloud. Assuming this is Cloud and Link at the ends of their games and have all powerups, items, max health, magic, other stupid fanboy shit, they brawl, and Link comes out on top.

Why? Because:

1. I said so.
2. Because Link has a freestyle fighting system, while Cloud has that gay turn-based RPG enema.

Link wins, you all suck.

Blow me.

I'm confuzzled...

At 8/16/08 11:35 PM, Lost-Chances wrote:

At 8/16/08 11:29 PM, JamesTKirkV2 wrote: I'm just wondering. Cuz most of my posts are simply smartass comments, and I'm never very nice to ppl here. I just wonder if anyone recognizes me as a prick.

Who are you? Try actually doing something impressive or making at least a half intelligent comment for once.

That's one of the things I'm talking about. I don't make intelligent comments very often, so...

Your an asshole, you asshole.

big smelly ass sniffin asshole.

At 8/16/08 11:32 PM, RetardedNINJA666 wrote: No, you just like having fun with people.

I thank you for understanding me, asshole. ^_^

At 8/16/08 11:31 PM, Ismael92 wrote: At least you recognized it, that's important.

Work on your social skills, or whatever you want =)

Well, I know I'm an asshole everywhere else, but it seems as though online I at least make an attempt to be nice to people.

I honestly think we'd all be a lot better off with a bit of asshole in us. ;P

That seems like an odd thing to post about...

I mean, I like alien chestbursters as much as the next guy, but, do you have a life?

I'm just wondering. Cuz most of my posts are simply smartass comments, and I'm never very nice to ppl here. I just wonder if anyone recognizes me as a prick.

I don't have a lot going on.

If you died 5 times...how are u typing? ;P

Get laid, smoke some reefer, play video games till ur eyes hurt. XD
You know, the good way to spend your last day of freedom.

first, I think you should avoid newgrounds...it eats ur life aways.

...What?

Dude...you've got some serious problems if a forum is a good enough cause for you to pull it out...

jesus.

This school year, I'll be a senior, and I was wondering what you ppl did or plan to do as seniors to make it the best year of your pitiful life.

I was thinking of beginning a tradition of "welcoming" freshmen, since for some reason my school doesn't have anything like that.

As well as neverminding my civil tongue and when somebody gets an easy question wrong simply call them a dumbass.

I always go fast. It's pretty easy for me.

Pity the hackers who only ever use two fingers.

You all have problems...

Outside is where the air is so fresh and it stays fresh EVEN IN MILK!!!

even in milk.

I don't really get scared by movies anymore.

Especially the old slasher films, they just made me laugh cuz they were always so predictable.

Like, anyone in the movie who gets laid dies.
Or any guy who acts like an asshole dies.

And as for the exorcist...the only freaky part about that is when you freeze the movie on that face with the bloody eyes and sharp teeth.

At 7/9/08 10:41 PM, MikeRomanul wrote: I love band.

I play the drums.

SHUT UP! >:(

The mods left!!! WHOOPEEE!

Big Bad Ron.

end of thread.

now give me big hug. ^________________^

my latest pathetic atempt @ geting band 4 a week, or month, don't reely care, cuz I hate this forum.
>:O >:O >:O >:O ^_^ >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O :) >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O >:O
maybe 4 2 months...pleeze ^_^

At 7/9/08 10:32 PM, 792247 wrote: It's July 9th ya pot smokin' patriot.

Hey! You say that like its a bad thing man.

I haven't been on the interweb for a while, so I have no clue whats been going down in the house.

Question.

Are u like 11?

I have all the Zoids. I am ashames.

At 7/9/08 10:30 PM, WingCommand wrote: you are 5 days late...

yeah, cuz I hate the interweb.

bite me.

illegal bottle rockets kick ass.
I had some big ass roman candles that made my ears ring.

What do you people do for the 4th?

it better be something bout fireworks.

story threads aren't allowed.

ur gona get band

At 7/9/08 10:23 PM, killerjeff wrote: Noobs are the opposite of nerds.

Actually, that's right.

...not sure what that has to do with anything here tho...

You've been taken over!

Get rid of them.

and do a barrel roll.

only game I ever had to cheat on was Doom 3: Resurrection of Evil, because the final boss is impossible to kill otherwise.

360 sux.

don't buy.

end of thread.