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Response to: A story of mine Posted August 23rd, 2012 in Writing

Thanks, I'll definitely work on this. Thanks for the criticism, man, now I know what to work on, time to edit the story a bit. I may or may not post the next chapter, I have a bit of replanning to do, mainly the amnesia, the writing of Instincts, how he knows so much anyway, I had an idea for how he did, but I trashed that. I'll definitely be reconsidering that, if I can find all the notes on that version of Instincts. I actually did get some inspiration from video games, I read a lot of books too, I guess I need to read a bit more, find some more first person books so I can figure out how to write this, cause I mainly read second person. Thanks, I'll be back, trust on that.

A story of mine Posted August 23rd, 2012 in Writing

Well, first, before its story time, its get to know the author.
Well, first off, I'm 14 years old, I've been writing for about 2 years now, give or take, been through 4 complete rewrites of my book and I am hoping this first chapter doesn't do too badly on here. Now this chapter will only make sense to me in the beginning, because I'm the author and I pretty much have most of the story in my head, some written down, but mostly in my head. If its too confusing at the beginning, I'll pm you my notes, but there will be a lot of spoilers in it. I won't mind help or criticism, just don't be so cruel I stop writing, cause I'll hate you forever. Nah, I'll never stop writing. The title is Recollections, I'm sure that's a title of another book, but it makes the most sense to this. I'll warn you before hand, certain parts, mainly fights, of this story will be, let's say, graphic. And there will be curse words, because I feel curse words help to realize how bad the situation is, or how serious something is or isn't. You have been warned. And if your wondering why there is no quotations or whatever their called around the speakers words when they're talking, it's because it's in his mind, and Instincts is just the part of the mind that knows anything at all about what's going on. Sorry about that spoiler, but I don't need reviewers getting all mad about that.

Recollections
Chapter 1

I'm falling. I see a cliff above me. I feel something crawling over my head. My head hurts like hell. Everything else hurts, but not like that. It feels like there's a snake with little horns all over it scraping my brain at 30 miles per hour. Don't worry, just your demon skin healing you. I roll over and see the ground far, far, far away. Whats demon skin? It's your bond with a demon, located on your left hand. Hows it healing me? Your bond gives you the demons power. The skin automatically spreads over you, healing you rather quickly, even hardening it somewhat each time. Will it make the pain stop? Not till it's done healing. Now then, tell me, who are you? Who am I, who are you? Why, I'm Da... I don't know, except for two letters, my name could be anything. Dante, David, Daemon, hell, that could just be my last name's first letters. WAIT A MINUTE!! I see what you did there. Now tell me who you are, right now. I'm your instincts. Yeah, and I'm not in agony. I don't hear you moaning in pain. What do you mean... Wait, your right! It's done healing! Congratulations. Now focus, we're falling pretty fast and pretty damn far. Your not gonna live unless you do something, and soon. I got nothing, do I have other demon skills or can I only heal? You can use the skin as tentacles and grab on to the cliff, but the the impact would leave you stuck in the cliff and at this speed, will it even stick? You can shoot beams of pure sin, but that's useless unless your fighting or trying to hit a far away target. And you can grow wings. Yeah, lets go with wings, how do I do that? Just think 'Grow wings'. Really, that's it. Just think 'Grow wings'. I feel bones unsnapping in my back and snapping into the air. I twist my neck to see it and the bones are getting bigger and growing feathers. When it's finally done growing, it's a sleek, black, shiny, pair of about 13, 14 feet. Wow, that was awesome, watching it grow. Yeah, do I need to teach you how to flap your wings and fly, it's a little to late to push you out of the nest, and your dumb enough to not know how to flap. Fuck you, and yes, teach me how to fly, you dick. This partnership will go better if you don't talk back. Do you want to die? Can you feel new muscles on your body? Yeah, they're wing muscles. Try to get some feel for them. I can make them wiggle a little bit. I try to make them both do that at the same time. I throw my arms up in frustration and they actually flap up. I slam my arms down and they flap downward. My arms are gonna be so tired after this. I spread my arms out, and begin to glide. I tilt my body downward, slightly, till I'm at a ninety degree angle, and begin my descent.

Some amount of time later.

God, my arms are tired as hell, and so are these wings. Can I put my wings back? Think 'Retract wings.' Retract wings. A lot faster coming in then out, aren't they. Very, now we both know you have no idea where your at Shut up. so we should find out. I check all over myself for pockets or items and find a phone, touch screen, maybe 4g phone, headphones, a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, two pistols, desert eagles, 6 clips, holsters for pistols, clips found in belt, and a sheathed katana, black as night, about 6 feet long, the sheath black as well, not as black, though. With equipment like that, you must have killed people before. True that, now lets find civilization, and something that reflects so I can see what I look like. Why not use that phone? Too small, I cant see my full body. I begin to walk forward. God it's hot here. I take my trench coat trench coat off and hang it over my shoulder and walk on. I think we're in hell. How are you so sure? There's fire spouting out of holes, the ground is red, the sky is black, I smell death everywhere, if this ain't hell, we're on fucking Mars and I want to know how I'm breathing then. Demon skin would allow to breath, and it would already be over your mouth. So we're in hell. Maybe, or maybe this is the apocalypse. Maybe, if it is, it's taking forever to end. Either we're dead or on an unknown planet. Unknown to us. Look a town, head that way. its a bunch of rocks. Boulders, and a few people can be seen going to and from buildings. Alright, let's go.

Half an hour later.

It's 5:57 p.m., and I'm tired as a motherfucker. Talk to someone, see if there's a hotel, or an inn, or somewhere to rest. I light a cigarette and walk to a building with lots of people outside. I walk over to a guy in all black, smoking a cigarette like me.

"Hey man, can you tell me where I'm at?"
"Your at Sector 76."
"Cool, is there a place where I can crash?"
"Go halfway down here to that sign, it says hotel. You either have to pay or do chores, unless your only staying one night. If your only staying one night, you get no food and a crap room."
"Guess I'm doing chores, thanks man."
"Don't mention it."

I finish my cigarette and stomp on it, then move on down the street. I look around, this place is loud, bright, and annoying. I arrive at the hotel and ask for a room, paying with chores for two nights. I walk up to my room to find a queen size bed with red everything on it, sheets, pillows, covers, even the mattress itself is red. There's a tv, a phone set, and a window. I jump on the bed, trying to ignore the red, fall asleep, from exhaustion.

I hoped you enjoyed the story, I probably won't be posting another chapter for awhile cause I'm about to be in high school and won't have time to post. I'll still write, just not post.

Response to: your best game Posted August 23rd, 2012 in Video Games

final fantasy 7 because its awesome... if this doesnt mean games you used to have then devil may cry 3...i havent got the 1st or 4th ones yet :(