At 11/15/09 10:36 PM, LBRocker wrote:

What about those carnivorous plant things? Would they be carnivorous ganja plants? Would the edible mushrooms be crack rocks? Would bowser be "da man"?

I think the plants would be cops, and instead of sewer pipes they'd lurk in alley ways. I'm fairly certain mushrooms would be 40's, though.

At 11/15/09 10:23 PM, LBRocker wrote:
Does that mean the little mushroom things would be called porchmonkeys?

YESS.

SWEET GOD OF HATRED YESS!!!!

And instead of turtles, they'd have homeless people, because just like turtles, homeless people only play dead when you kick them; then they get right back up. The only way to get rid of them is fire.

At 11/15/09 10:19 PM, ian4678 wrote: How the hell did you become a mod?

The power of Hate.

At 11/15/09 10:05 PM, DM692 wrote: But you would have complained if he had of been any other race, so are you suggesting that Mario simply be no race at all? Or an alien?

I would insult you here, but I'm too lazy.

I never said it was BAD that Super Mario is racist against Italians, merely that as a white man, I don't consider Italians the same race as me, and apparently, neither do the Japs.

For example, just last week I watched a Jew and a Wap try to explain to a Black guy what it's like to be white.

Needless to say, I had to jump all in that shit before they poor dude was hopelessly confused.

Not all pale people are white, despite what they'd have you believe.

I ate flour, sugar, cinnamon, and salt all mixed up dry in a cup once.

Fuck you.

You may want to wait a couple hundred posts.

Let me assure you, the stupidity has only begun.

I like looking at roadkill.

It makes me laugh.

But not in a good way.

Really, life is a disgusting, nasty, perverse thing, and it should all be destroyed.

I hope you get shot by a hunter next time you go out into the woods, you sick subversive perv.

Earth first. We can destroy the other planets later.

At 11/15/09 05:43 PM, All-American-Badass wrote: Could be worse, Mario could've been black. Imagine what they'd make Mario do if he was black.

They'd have 40's and blunts instead of mushrooms and fire flowers, and instead of fireballs he'd throw basketballs. Princess Peach would have a huge ass,

Really, the game would be better all around.

Let's get down to the facts, shall we?

1: Nintendo is Japanese.
2: Super Mario was designed by the Japanese
3: Mario is depicted as an Italian.
4: Mario is a plumber who never plumbs. EVER.
5: Mario is depicted as chasing a peice of ass all the time instead of working.
6: Mario is only worth a damn if he's high off of mushrooms
7: Mario "throws" fireballs. Weakley. So pathetically in fact they just kind of dribble around on the ground about a foot in front of him.
8: Mario can have infinite life... but only if you make him fuck a turtle up against a wall.
9: If you fuck the turtle too hard, you get AIDS and die.
10: The enemy characters are little mushroom "Goombas" which, as we all know, is a racist term for the italian mob's thugs.
11: Mario never changes clothes, because he is a greasy wap.
12: All mario ever does is get high on mushrooms and smash bricks with his head.
13: Luigi looks EXACTLY like Mario, because as we all know, all italians look alike.

.... and that's a good number to stop on.

Goddamn racist jap game designers, making the hero of a game a big fat Italian ass who spends a whole game chasing his dick around trying to get some pussy. It's disgusting, really.

I just realized none of the pictures/video are up yet.

SHIT.

I'm gonna comb through www.myspace.com/hysteriaentertainment to see if I can find any.

Damnit, it's been since friday, surely they've got SOMETHING up.

If you EVER get a chance, you need to ring announce an oil wresting match.

Between six greasy strippers.

Good times.

They were had.

BY ALL.

cops showed up just to see titties then leave. Cops love titties.

I remember last week I was playing a show to a packed house, drunk off of free beer, playing songs I was improvising on the spot and blowing the minds of everyone in the room with my insane speed and technical prowess with my three closest friends.

After I got off stage, awoman with huge boobs came up to me and put her arms around my neck as we danced together to the following band. I pulled her close, and whispered in her ear:

"You know, I'm also an internet moderator"

She couldn't believe it.

based on a true story. Mary has huge boobs

At 11/11/09 10:12 PM, Skwurll wrote: Write me a fucking love song!

Or a hate song, whichever is easier.

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that

You made room for me, but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'mma need a better reason to write you a love song today
Today

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under you
And your twisted words, your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way,
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'mma need a better reason to write you a love song today

Promise me you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'Cause I believe there's a way you can love me because I say

I won't write you a love song
'Cause you asked for it
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'Cause you asked for it?
'Cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that there's a reason to
Write you a love song today
Today

At 11/11/09 09:58 PM, boloneyman wrote: horrible shit

Thanks for proving me right.

Remember kids, prose is about word choice. Poetry is about meter. Don't confuse the two.

Taking a paragraph and breaking it up into shorter lines does not a poem make.

At 11/11/09 09:39 PM, EpicFail wrote: Hahahaha. Oh Funk, you make me feel happy.

Does Happy have big boobs?

At 11/11/09 09:26 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote:

If someone isn't well versed in writing poetry, then it's best that they stick with uniform syllable counts, but there are ways to make non-uniform syllable counts work.

It's called syncopation. There's nothing wrong with it. However, before you can sycopate, you have to establish pattern. Without that established pattern, syncopation sounds like gibberish.

At 11/11/09 09:27 PM, Adio wrote:
Well, since you compared poetry to music, I will as well.

Consider bands that use time signature changes. If done correctly, they can flow well also. I'm not a writer, so I probably have no fucking clue what I'm talking about, but it seems that the way poetry flows can differ. Syllables or not.

I do this all the time. I wrote a song where I joined a 9 beat with a 6 beat, which comes up to 15 beats per line, just close enough to 16 to feel like a natural beat, but one beat off so it had an original sound.

At 11/11/09 09:25 PM, PinballWizard976 wrote: So what we're back in the ages of romanticism?

Hell now. This concept predates shit.

Obvious example here.

"confus'd "

See this? Morrison is emphasizing that the final syllable in "confused" isn't counted. He has a numerical rhythm in mind, even though he intentionally sycopates it.

And what would you say when some uses a 5 / 4 tempo in music? That they didn't write poetry or anything?

I didn't say it HAD to be 8, did I? No, no I didn't. I merely said it had to have a rhythm to not suck.

I dunno, I have mixed feelings bout this.

Don't. Just blindly do what I tell you to do. It'll save us both a lot of time writing shitty poetry.

At 11/11/09 09:19 PM, Adio wrote: I saw where you deleted and remade.

I left an extra "is" in my line of verse, fucking up my syllable count and pissing all over my point.

Smooth one, FUNK.

Like ExLax, baby, like ExLax.

On topic though, poetry is poetry. If it sounds sensitive and flows well, the masses will love it. A sad fact.

Sensitive, not so much, but it's syllable count that creates that "flow" of which you speak.

At 11/11/09 09:19 PM, Strength wrote: What is this 1745?

All old things are new again
For instance: you have no friends.
I'm sure that you know what I mean.
Now go drink some sweet gasoline

Follow it down with a match
Hopefully inside it will catch
Fulfilling my fondest desire
To watch your dumbass burn in fire.

Read that aloud. See how it has rhythm?

That's how poetry should be.

Just for the record, it's not really poetry if each line doesn't have a syllabic rhythm. The best way to establish syllabic rhythm is to use the same number of syllables in every line.

If you're writing a poem, and your poem doesn't have syllabic rhythm, it sucks dick and you should die in a fire.

Good poems always have a beat [8]
A good beat which makes it complete [8]
If your poem is shitty and gay [8]
Ball it up and throw it away [8]

See how that works? If there was a song playing in the background written in 8/8 time (or doubled measures of 4/4 time per line. Fractions=music) the words would match the beat perfectly because you make one sound for every beat.

Part of the process of writing poetry is getting the syllable count correct. In advanced poetry, certain syllables are pronounced in double time because that's how they are pronounced in common speech. (For example, the suffix "-er" is normally not considered a syllable because it's more of a consonant added to the end of a syllable)

Oh, and I wish you all would die. Slowly. By being crushed by a car while you hear your mother scream, right up until she is also hit by a car within earshot.

Once I saw I german shepard with broken legs look up at me from the middle of the road from a previous wreck.

I plowed the shit out of that fucking dog.

It was funny because I was going so fast it's yelp was all dopplered out.

Remember kids: things die. You might as well learn to enjoy it.

For instance: Bacon. Dead pig. Horrifically slaughtered, then sliced into bloody strips and seared on a hot piece of iron. DEEEEE-LICIOUS.

At 11/11/09 12:48 AM, Gagsy wrote:

(.

The beauty of being a heretical apostate is that I don't even feel guilty for that.

But seriously, doesn't "atheist" sound like someone trying to talk with a dick in their mouth?

Her: Atheist
Him: What was that honey?
Her: *pops dick out of her mouth*
Her: I said "anal sex"
Him: Not yet, you have to get more spit on it first.
Him: *shoves cock back in her mouth*

At 11/11/09 12:44 AM, Gagsy wrote: But I can't say that properly. I can say athiest right though.

Take the dick out of your mouth and try again.

sorry. Couldn't help myself on that one.

At 11/11/09 12:35 AM, EvilerBowser1001 wrote: I gotta say that this is pretty much the only faith that sounds like a Death Metal song.

Satanists are all butthurt ex-christians. Atheists and nihilists don't actually believe in anything, so their beliefs aren't nearly as fun in practice as they are on paper.

As a heretical apostate, though, I get to drink free sacramental wine from the church AND go home and sacrifice a goat, without any conflict whatsoever.

I don't have to tithe, I get to believe that god will forgive me of all my sins, so I get to do whatever I want, hell, I don't even have to go to church if I don't feel like it.

It's the best of all worlds, really.

And if someone calls me a hypocrite, I can just point out that since I'm a heretical apostate, they can suck the puss from my fat ass pimples.

At 11/10/09 11:42 PM, All-American-Badass wrote:

that's not only HARDCORE but also BRUTAL.

Ray: I'm going to stop drinking.
Me: Why? You're an alky.
Ray: Because I just remembered how many teeth that fat whore who kept trying to stick her tongue down my throat had
Me: Sounds like you didn't drink enough.
Ray: Hmmmm... you have a point.

At 11/11/09 12:25 AM, jarrydn wrote: I prefer apathetic agnosticism :]

That's just laziness.

For example, as a heretical apostate I believe that since god gave me genitals AND hands, he must want me to masturbate.

By the same token, I get to believe everyone I hate is going to rot in hell.

Conversely, however, I don't have to be a good person to go to heaven.

Oh, and in my heaven? Strippers.

Damn my religion rocks.

I invented hardcore.

Last week I played a show at House of Thor where we improvised the whole set and basically told everyone to fuck themselves if they didn't like it.

Then we drank our free beer, and spent the rest of the night trying not to get raped by fat nasty whores.

Good times.

I just won at religion.

Heretical Apostates, besides being ALLOWED to be giant hypocrites, pretty much get to pick and choose whatever they want to believe. About anything.

Oh, and it's the most subversive of all religions. Basically it's going to church simply to fuck it up and bastardize it for everyone else.

Plus, it sounds cool as shit.

Fuck atheism.

Translation:

You're an EMO fag.

Do you have a vagina?

NOOOOOO.

Do you control who gets vagina?

NOOOOOO.

Love is a myth, and you're an idiot.

At this point, you're going to have to bite the bullet and find a couch to crash.

Your home situation is never going to stabilize.

Your best bet is to try and get a college dorm/some college kid friends. They'll understand your situation better than most other people. You can get loans to pay for dorm fees even if you have no job, which will fill you in until you can find work.

It's a shitty situation to be in, but you can't kid yourself that your dad won't keep playing the "get out of my house" card. He's apparently a power hungry dick.