At 5/9/08 11:33 PM, Stonehell wrote: Buzz Killington to the rescue.

It's cool. The sort of moronic bottom-feeders that'd actually get excited over the prospect of correctly guessing the right moderator's name wouldn't read the entire topic before they spooged their guess all over our faces anyway.

At 5/9/08 11:25 PM, Captain-Jack wrote: Previous comment withdrawn.

Like the phallus during intercourse when babies aren't preferred, or like the entirety of your post history?

CHOOSE WISELY.

Also: I'm in a fun-ruining mood. It was mighy-potato. Although he didn't, just allegedly.

At 5/9/08 11:09 PM, Captain-Jack wrote:

At 5/9/08 10:59 PM, JoS wrote:

At 5/9/08 10:51 PM, Captain-Jack wrote: HOLY CRAP JOS YOU ARE SO FREAKING FUNNY

Is that a pun I hear?

In order for something to be a "pun", it has to be a play on words.

In JoS's defense, "holy crap" is a pun. The play here is the fact that there's a pre-existing expression for surprise, and that the subject of the thread concerns a Moderator having shat himself.

I took several AP tests years ago and passed every one. Which are you referring to?

Just be an all-around decent poster for a consistent period of time (1+ years) and if eventually the administrators and current moderators decide that we need more moderators and you seem like a decent candidate to everyone, you're in.

Asking or constantly bothering the moderators won't help.

Except: we don't want every thread on the front page of the forums to ALWAYS be every single fucking noob-assed fag who just discovered Numa Numa on youtube for the first time linking us with "LOL THIS IS HILARIOUS." No description, no screenshot, nothing at all to indicate that we're wasting our time when we click on their link.

Because it's difficult to keep a character consistent when they're embodying competing ideals. Like, how do you write a character that is both experienced and innocent? You can't really, it just automatically sounds cliche, foolish, or makes your character unbelievable in some way. Why do you need to have competing ideals? Because without competing ideals there's no basis for a story. Morals present in novels are there so that the author might persuade the reader using the logic of the metaphorical to behave similarly or differently from the characters in the story because they've understood the lessons learned from the main characters' plight. A truly persuasive piece always includes the concepts it's trying to disprove, if only to discredit the validity of those ideas.

So basically: it's a formula that works. It works because it panders to the believability people need in order to appreciate a story's message.

It's also the reason why 99% of the stories here on Newgrounds suck. The authors are so interested in pandering to a like-minded crowd of story-loving readers with nearly identical personalities that they don't write in any more dynamic characters to balance it out. It's not realistic to have situations where everyone would always agree based on their character, nor is it realistic to have situations where characters with near identical characteristics disagree just for the sake of it.

ITT: I write too much to explain my thoughts on a simple question.

Suicide shouldn't be illegal and it's not a morality issue, it's a health issue. A normal, healthy human being is genetically wired to self-preserve.

So while I don't agree with suicide, I do think that everyone has an inherent right to die. I wouldn't condone someone's decision to kill themself, but I would respect the choice and their conviction.

The happiest I'd ever felt was in a dream when I was young at a sleepover at Boston's Museum of Science. The only problem was that I was awakened from it prematurely, and as a result could not remember anything about the dream other than the resounding pleasantness from having had it. I'd enjoy dreaming that dream again, both for the contentment it provided and to sate my curiosity as to what it was that provided such happiness.

Otherwise, I want to spend time in my dreams on Earth BC. To see the unpolluted night sky, enjoy the fresh air and billions of acres of never deforested land.

... sex with hot women is lame. People can and already DO dream about that. You guys should challenge yourselves to come up with something that you haven't dreamt about or can't.

It makes more sense to put the numbers in order of maximum possible value.

12 possible months, 31 possible days, 99 possible years.

If I want a condom here at school I can get them:
- Free from health services (if I'm planning on getting laid)
- Free from any Residential Assistant (If I wasn't planning on getting laid, but happen to have some girl rearin' and ready to go in my dorm) by just knocking on their door at any hour of the day.
- Free from any STD awareness event, anti-AIDS event, or whatever else that happen here on campus pretty regularly.

Or I can buy them from the store. But the point here is that most college campuses have the resources to provide them pretty easily. Does your university have a health services or campus nurse or anything? I bet she's got a budget for providing condoms.

Traditionally, since forums are media intended to provoke continued discussion in relation to title's topics, you should be returning to every post you make that got someone else interested in responding and responding in kind. Even if it's days or a few weeks later. Newgrounds is only different because it moves so fast that you can't really do this just by keeping on top of the topics listing, you've got to go through your personal post history and look that way.

Except, nobody does because you guys are mostly fags.

If it's deleted, it's because it's so obviously an unacceptable topic that we shouldn't even have to bother leaving a reason why in the first place.

Based on the topic title you gave your other topic, I can tell that the base picture was terrible (face partially cut off, low resolution, excessively poorly lit, low quality, etc.) and that of the replies:
-1/3 were people who posted something without photoshopping the image
-1/3 were people who quickly used MSPaint to shoop da woop, get a cock in there, write something stupid, etc.
-1/3 were being wet-blanket douchebags, either by posting the same image with "I made him gay!" or saying something like "this topic sucks" or "ANOTHER photoshop topic?" or "fail" and posting an unrelated picture, either lolcats, fail pictures, orly owls, or something otherwise mind-numbingly stupid and unfunny that's based off one of 12 derivative jokes that have been circulating the internet plaguing it since it's creation.

But yea, if your thread's deleted, that's how you learn what you're doing wrong. When a thread of yours gets deleted, abandon the idea that you should be making threads in the first place. Learn by lurking around and seeing what we let slide and why. We do post normally as moderators, too.

You want to start by moving your fingers gently but firmly down the neck and towards the opening. Once you're in position, a couple quick twangs will have her singin' her tune in no time.

Don't let me spoil the fun... but seeing as how both of them work for Newgrounds.com inc. full-time as the two staff members most involved with the community, perhaps it's just a coincidence in keeping with the site's interests that they happen to be browsing the forums simultaneously.

I was raised to understand that swearing is the result of an inability to express oneself using better terms.

I've never felt comfortable swearing in front of my parents, really. When I was at the age where I was most likely to fly off the handle and start cursing them out, I knew that it was much better to just avoid communication at all instead. I mean, I COULD curse out my parents if I really wanted to, but now-a-days the desire just isn't there. They pretty much only want to help me out and be helped in return. When your parents treat you as a peer instead of a child, you basically don't resent them anymore.

It's popular and increases their ratings which allows them to shove higher-paying advertisements down the listener's throat.

<3 commercial radio.

It's not a bad song, you guys just love to hate music, is all. If it's a problem, change the station. Or give your opinion to the offending radio stations. As one of the customers they're trying to keep listening, they'd probably value your input that they play something too much. If there's enough people saying they don't want to hear Nickelback as often, then maybe they'll stop playing it.

But when you're coming to Newgrounds to find a common hatred of Nickelback among the userbase, you're pretty much doing the exact same thing you decry the radio stations for doing--sounding like a broken record.

Your network administrator set it up when they set up your home network. You can't 'find it' unless you wrote it down.

If it's WEP, though, there's plenty of tutorials online that'll teach you how to crack the encryption. If you cannot find the key and nobody knows it, your router has a 'reset' button that you need to push with a paperclip or a pen or something that'll reset your router to all the defaults and you'll be able to set a new WEP/WPA passcode.

Also: sometimes the passphrase itself doesn't work when you're putting it into different computers with different NIC cards. If you encounter this problem, just put in the corresponding 64 or 128 bit Hex code and it should work perfectly.

If you guys were learned or even mildly interested in medicine, you'd know they've been researching for years the way that Salamanders and other limb-regenerating animals regrow lost tissue. It's known that humans have the potential to regenerate lost body parts, with the fingers being already particularly prone to the ability to regenerate in children. It's basically a matter of being able to instruct the cells around the site of the cut to regenerate tissue instead of forming a scar.

It would appear as if there's, at least minimally, some way devised to do this already for the fingertips. Seriously though, this is all in a recent issue of Scientific American, probably April or March's.

Happy old man day, old man.

<3 PM system back when you could attach images.

At 4/28/08 05:42 PM, CatherineElizabeth wrote: {.9, .99, .999, .9999. ,.99999, .......}

I'm sure you understand the rule of construction. Find me the least upper bound on this set. That is, find me the number that is greater than all the elements of this set, but is less than all the other numbers which are greater than all elements of this set.

Following your instructions, .999999 would be the number you requested. No matter the size of the set, due to the nature of infinity, you can always add an extra nine to the end of whatever you've written and it will be a larger number than before, while still smaller than the infinite possibilities remaining. Unless we're not following a pattern here, in which case the next number would be x. x = (1.0 x 10^-%u221E) + .99999.

At 4/28/08 04:15 PM, Evark wrote: That part right there, in it's wrongness, is what makes your proof possible. 10x - x = 10.

/me facepalms. I'm an idiot. ORDER OF OPERATIONS.

9.9999999999 - .99999999999 does in fact, equal 9 even.

I still hate this proof. >: (

At 4/28/08 04:06 PM, CatherineElizabeth wrote: 10x - x = 9.9~ - x
9x = 9

That part right there, in it's wrongness, is what makes your proof possible. 10x - x = 10.

If you know any other proofs for 1 = 0.9~, please share them, or if you wish to challenge the validity of my proof or the statement that 1 = 0.9~, feel free to provide a critique.

Regardless, I've seen proofs that do it without mistakes such as the above. I don't agree with them, they simply take advantage of the human inability to express the infinite to prove something stupid. .9~ approaches 1, and continues to become infinitely closer to one, but does not actually equal one.

You'd be arrested before you managed your third. The first would catch local authorities off-guard. But once the second had exploded the authorities would drop 'coincidence' and 'accident' from their vocabulary in describing the events. The reason the third would not be a success is because the matter would be brought to the attention of the federal government in the form of the US Military's commitment to preventing domestic terrorism. Your state's gas stations would be crawling with local police, state police, and perhaps even State and National Guard troops.

You'd be tried and convicted and put away for the duration of your natural life. You'd face the death penalty depending on how many customers' lives were lost in the explosions.

But yea... I guess you're just making a point that gas prices are ridiculous. Though I counter: I've had my license to drive for 5 years now, and even when I first started driving gas prices were all over one dollar a gallon anyway. The lowest I ever saw them in my life was hovering around one dollar when I was very little.

"It is believed that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) could produce one of these micro black holes, but this is highly unlikely due to the relatively small size of the collider. (It is theorized that to create a micro black hole with currently-available materials would require a circular accelerator roughly 1000 light years in diameter). Although the Standard Model of particle physics predicts that LHC energies are far too low to create black holes, some extensions of the Standard Model posit the existence of extra spatial dimensions, in which it would be possible to create micro black holes at the LHC[2][3][4] at a rate on the order of one per second. According to the standard calculations these are harmless because they would quickly decay by Hawking radiation."

Quoted from the wikipedia section "Micro_Black_Holes." Most important part bolded for emphasis.

I'm pretty much convinced I live in the best area on earth. At my ENORMOUS public school, it's pretty much unheard of that anyone who notices someone behind them about to enter/exit a door will hold it for them, at the very least the duration they're within range.

... I use it specifically to ensure cute looking women don't have to hold their own door open. I mean, if you've got a reasonable excuse, why not?

I want you to know that I spent the better part of my morning laughing my ass off at basically every other paragraph this man has written.

Obviously, even he doesn't actually believe the shit he's spewing, but it's just part of the persona he has to maintain for the sake of his livelihood (IE: Stephen Colbert). But yea, shit's hysterical. It's great that he can take so many tired stereotypes and keep them interesting, nay, hilarious.

Seriously, I recommend every one of you read the site, even if you deplore the message. The stuff is so over the top you can't help but be amused.

At 4/25/08 09:08 AM, gumOnShoe wrote:

At 4/25/08 08:00 AM, Magyar wrote: but there is piss on the seat already, I don't want to touch a piss covered seat...

Someone pissed on that seat and someone has to clean it up, I'd prefer it to be the same person, but that doesn't mean you should add to the problem.

Not to mention you should have enough functional brain power to know that the easiest way to lift a toilet seat is from the BOTTOM, not the piss-covered top.

You have my sympathy. I thought about giving detailed instructions such as "this is the lock, use it" "this is a handle you push down on to flush." "This seat has a hinge for your convenience." "The green zone lies in the bowl" "Please flush all paper when finished." etc.

Ha ha ha. That'd be ace. Personally, I don't bother with shutting and locking the door behind me when I'm in the stall for a quick piss. I'm not worried anybody's gonna grab me and spin me around or anything.

I have to say though, its also pretty bad when they don't wash their hands. Its no wonder college is a cesspool of sickness.

I suppose that's true. Though, to be honest, I practically never wash my hands after using the bathroom. I haven't been sick here at school yet this year, despite most everyone around me becoming ill in some way or another. My immune system is pretty much unstoppable. But I also don't piss on myself, so there's not much need.

Fucking amen. And I absolutely love the self-righteous douchebags who try to give you some bullshit about saving water for the third world, or some shit. If there's a place on this earth that doesn't have water, not flushing the toilet as often just plain WON'T help at all. It's just an excuse for you to be a lazy cock-sucker.

I've thought about putting up signs: "FLUSH THE TOILET, YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COMMON COURTESY, PLEASE COME TO RM 401 AND KINDLY FIGHT ME. I'LL GIVE YOU A SWIRLY IN YOUR OWN WASTE LIKE THE FILTH YOU ARE."

I routinely flush the toilet BEFORE and AFTER flushing now, since apparently 75% of my peers are stretched assholes.