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You learn something new everyday, I guess.

Whenever I think of "eugenics" I always think of the racist movement that tried to bring "genetic evidence" in support of addresses "real racial difference".

But I never realized (though i probably should have guessed or perhaps i was afraid to think that it could go this far) that people were actually forcibly sterilized by state governments for decades. And the simple fact that I didn't know about this (and I paid attention in U.S history) just tells me how hard our state's are trying to bury this issue until everyone it affected is dead.

I just wanted to make sure that my previous ignorance of this issue is not lost on anyone else. This is a shameful chapter in our nation's history that needs to be remembered.

At 4 hours ago, Glaiel-Gamer wrote:

At 17 minutes ago, unconsidered wrote: Is there a price?

$14.99 (or $11.99 if you are subscribed to Playstation Plus)

Tyler, if you weren't such a damn cutie, I'd laugh at the idea of paying more than $10 for this. But instead, I'll just pay.

The correct answer is either "a robot?" or "a battery". Then again, who I am to say what is correct in this world?

There's actually an answer to this but I like the turn this thread has taken.

You said it yourself.

At 48 minutes ago, IGotMilk wrote: What do you think were the most freedom-loving and hating presidents in the US? I say the most free-loving one would be Thomas Jefferson, he was a true Libertarian, and hated strong national power when he was the leader of the Republican/Democrats. The most Authoritarian president for me would be, of course, Dubya the 2nd. Seeing in that he invaded Iraq without HOR/Senate's approval...

What are your ideas?

Yes, Jefferson, a slave-owner, loved Freedom.

I'd go with Grover Cleveland on that one, since he fought for Hawaii to keep its sovereignty.

I don't believe there has ever been a freedom-hating president.

At 3 days ago, Coop wrote: Just a quick question for this one - what program did you type it in? The formatting is screwed up between the word processor and the BBS window, with apostrophes and I wanted to bring it to the admins' attention.

Yeah I was going to post this. I copy-pasted it off of Word 2010. This needs fixing, it happens too easily.

sorry for chastising people previously for this.

If people could be trusted to use substances responsibly, I'd be fine with the use of any drug recreationally, even those that are clearly harmful.

They can't.

All substances, including alcohol, should be illegal unless it is prescribed.

You are what you eat right? I was wondering what composes of everyone's favorite or preferred News Source to go to. If you just use news.google or something, maybe just suggest the links you most often click-through to.

Favorites:

CNN
Hot Air (conservative newsblog)
The Daily Show
The Colbert Report
Wall Street Journal
Fox News (I don't like their commentary but I like their website)
Politifact Factcheckers
New York Times

And just for fun I'll put the sources I can only sneer at.

New York Post
World Net Daily
Huffington Post (This has less to do with their slant, and more to do with perceived quality of writing vs. self-purported reputation)

What frustrates me right now about both conservative and liberal reactions to this video, is that both sides are formulating opinions on how to accept these videos into the public discourse without even bothering to fully understand Critical Race Theory. I've actually taken a class on the subject and right now everyone is demonstrating the problem that always accompanies it: people like to either accept or deny racism in today's society without regards as to the changing definitions that academics use to describe it.

At 8 hours ago, Aci6 wrote: Yeeah, last again.
Haven't touched my Vita except to move it, this is kind of annoying to a degree since I paid so much for it. I'm just waiting on some decent games to add some diversity. Awesome update.

Why'd you buy it then?

Sorry about that, i posted the same video twice.

Obama addressing crowd

I guess the point of my post is that I really don't see anything that condemns Obama of, well, anything. I was definitely disappointed with the Jeremiah Wright connection with Obama brought up back in '08, but this video seems like a pitiful attempt to tie Obama to radicals again (specifically because I would never consider Bell anything but an academic of a particular school of thought involving race. That does not fall into my definition of radical.)

Hey Everyone,

I wanted to make this thread in order to promote discussion on the Andrew Breitbart Video(s)

What it's about:

Conservative Blogger, Andrew Breitbart (who died March 1st) promised last month to unveil videos of Obama's college days that tie him to radicals and were covered up by the mainstream media. Breitbart's Promise

The First Video: Premiering on Hannity this evening, the full video of Obama speaking at a rally in 1990 in support of Derrick Bell, a former Harvard Law professor who notably became the first African-American professor to receive tenure at Harvard. Throughout his career, Bell fought to improve diversity in the faculty. This video came out during a rally in support of Bell in his attempts to bring African-American women to the faculty.
Obama addressing Rally at Harvard

I want to get some reactions from people before I put my opinion. How much is this "reveal" worth?

Hint: It has to do with AndrewBreitbart.com's editor saying that Derrick Bell is the "Jeremiah Wright of academia"

At 1 day ago, Anabioo wrote:

At 5 hours ago, EKublai wrote: I'm planning on writing a sort of tutorial for this...

I found Coop's link to lulu very helpful, they walk you through the process quite well.

I think a tutorial on how to make a good looking book would be in order. Such as not using their cover designer for text or formatting your text without having to pay for Lulu's professional help. It requires a bit more work than Lulu is prepared to give. Also, they would probably prefer people pay them to do the job than show them how to do it themselves. More arenas for business.

I'm linking to the hotair conservative blog article to ground my refutation.
School apologizes for its âEUoeracistâEU chant of âEU¦ âEUoeUSA! USA! USA!âEU

Basically, I think that this viewpoint that "it's not racist because U.S.A doesn't refer to a race" is bs.

I think the thing that really takes the "nationalism" out and "racism" in is the fact that BOTH SCHOOLS WERE U.S HIGH SCHOOLS. Therefore the only reason to chant U.S.A would be to target the ethnicity of Edison's players.

The semantics that "U.S.A" is not a race is irrelevant because nationalism is a moot point since both high schools are American.

First, everyone at the basketball game knew exactly what was going on. That's why the head coach of the winning team immediately put a stop to it and later the kids responsible for the chant apologized and one of them even said "I wasn't even thinking".

As a former high school basketball player from Chicago, I understand how heated things can get. Shouting matches get started all the time amongst fans, and you always rub it in the other team's face. I remember a game where my school (a secular private school) fans had chanting match of "Evolution!" against a catholic fan sides shout of "Jesus loves Us!" And race was nearly ALWAYS a point of contention. The winning team is just as likely to try to bring the other team down further as they are to try to build themselves up. But it is the manner in which one side taunted the other.

In some sense, shouting "Edison Sucks!" would have been more appropriate.

In the end, these are high schoolers, so they get some leeway and excuse for inherently being idiots. But for me, this is really in the interest in how people are trying to take the racism out of a clearly racist situation.

At 2 days ago, Anabioo wrote: I want to ask a few questions:
If someone is thinking about writing a book, what is the first thing they should do?
How should they go about getting their book distributed?
If they are readying the book for print by their self, what applications are recommended?

If you guessed that the "someone" was me, you guessed right. I was thinking about using MS Office Publisher, but I do not own it, and Word can't figure out "Oh, he wants to fold the page in half, so I should put page one here, page two on this other sheet...." Of course, if I simply let someone else (i.e. a publisher) do final designs for me, I'd not have to worry about it, but I do not want to do that. I was thinking about distributing it myself, mostly online on places like Amazon and physically to people I know, but I don't know how to copyright protect my work.
Thanks!

I'm planning on writing a sort of tutorial for this, based on my experience with publishing The Newgrounds Writing Anthology. And Word can actually do it for you, but you need to know some subtle trickery to pull it off. When I find the time, I'll be sure to post in this forum.

At 10 hours ago, DeftAndEvil wrote:

At 4 hours ago, Anabioo wrote: Wow. Shot down my hopes and dreams, guys. Sheesh.

This ain't the point the writing forum yo!

Actually, Renga is a legit form of poetry, and shouldn't be lumped in with the "writing games" that we discourage. I'll probably add something a bit later Anabioo!

At 10 hours ago, paradigmvulpes wrote:

i'm not really sure how else to help you, i mean, its hard to take in work when your teeth are being ground to teeth by a brick.

For some reason, "teeth are being ground to teeth by a brick" seems very wise, even though I assume you miswrote it.

At 10 hours ago, Deathcon7 wrote:

At 20 hours ago, RedCoin wrote: Ah thankyou, that's exactly the kind of feedback I was hoping for. There's some good ideas here that I can really make use of.
Thanks again.

Guys, let's remember to comport ourselves within this thread according to the guidelines established in the original post. If you want something reviewed, please be sure to review something first, be it requested within this thread, or a thread that piqued your interest. Thanks!

Hey Redcoin,

Here's your I.O.U ONE Review

Blood Diamond has a very graphic botched abortion scene. Also, the Ides of March suggests abortion.

This site makes me sick. It's one of the most misguided and cowardly attempts at manipulating impressionable and paranoid minds I've seen.

Hey all, this is the intro paragraphs to my short story "I've Been Sleeping with Mrs. Murphy". It's a psychological ghost story about a woman whose parents are recently deceased. I've never been quite satisfied with the first two pages. Anyone have any feedback. I feel like it doesn't have an immediate impact.

JikkiâEUTMs muffled barks from inside the car were the loudest sounds for a mile but I barely heard them. I stood in a noon slurry. Overhanging the driveway a leafy maple was weighed down by snow and ice, branches bending, teasing pavement, nearly snapping. The sky above my parentsâEUTM house was bright and I couldnâEUTMt look at any part of it without squinting.

Over the past months, the house had dredged up a frantic anonymity, had exchanged the weave of seasons for a haze of paralysis, had evacuated itself of content and living memory such that when I saw it, I felt nothing but a hungry, grim pull on my arm. Pale clay swelled around the bottom, smirching the basement windows with kisses of gray crap. The dead grass had receded and the black ground of Iowa pulled up and away from the patio. The ravine behind the house, a pox of downed oaks with ragged bark like screeching baby faces, leant a moist, creeping edge, quietly sliding under the downstairs living room. I could tell the property was sinking, leaning, falling away from the street. Mud hissed through my sandaled toes and it filled in my footprints so as to leave no trace of void. The murmur of falling snow faded and the sky whitened, but the sun didnâEUTMt peek, didnâEUTMt filter through the clouds and it glittered up over the neighborhood like a hoary Christmas bauble.

I stepped on the doormat, which was face-down because I had turned it over when the coconut fibers were withered so darkly that âEUoeWelcome HomeâEU had become illegible. At the front door, there was no wind to tinkle the chimes beside my head. In my hand was a dripping umbrella. And then my hand started to drip.

I grabbed the dented knob and pushed for a while before stopping. The key was in my pocket. I reached for it, wondering how I could have forgotten that doors needed keys to be opened. But unlocked, the door was still sticky. I thrust my shoulder against it. It gave way. The rush of air behind me was unexpected, and the house inhaled me, drew me down onto one knee and onto the dust, which swirled and powdered my jeans. My shoulder was bruised and the keys chewed at my palm and the chimes outside whipped around like tiny shouts. But I was calm. I was unhurt. I was okay. Because I could hear Jikki now. His barks out in the drive insisted, I saw that. I saw that. It happened, and thatâEUTMs for sure!

I got up. I closed the door, and I couldnâEUTMt hear Jikki.

There were no lights I could turn on. I looked into the dark of the hall. I had forgotten to bring a flashlight. The light from outside let me see straight into the dining room, but it didnâEUTMt feel like enough. Not being able to direct light on anything made the dark seem deeper than it was, like a crack in a cave wall. And from the dark, the wetness and the cold crawled up my pants leg, up my thighs, over my chest, and then into my mouth. I shook my head and thought about what might be growing on my tongue and leaving behind that leaden, sweet taste. I hoped what I had just swallowed was a lump of nothing and not the same mold mossing in the dining room, the bathroom, the cellar, for all I knew, every room. But I couldnâEUTMt bring myself to call the medium surrounding me âEU~airâEUTM. The medium that was not air was thick and stagnant and prickly and its clinging texture tapped my skin unevenly as though I had brushed the opposite end of an unseen spiderline, trembling with the wriggles of a trapped mosquito or fly. I pictured bodiless mold entities crawling toward me along these same threads.

I just wanted to do a small update on the Anthology.

All's well. Everything's been edited and compiled and formatted. all we need is cover art and we're done.

Yayz!

At 1 hour ago, RedCoin wrote: Hey guys. I posted mine here on the writing forums but the same thing that happened to John's story happened to mine so I'm gonna post a link to it in another forum, I hope that's okay.

http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/105717/the-robin-request ing-advice

I've including all gonna relevant information in that post.
Thanks

Hey redcoin,

That was great. There's little I can say by way of trying to improve it. You really nail the voice of the character. The "prisoner" line at the end surprised me, and I didn't really know what to do with it, but otherwise, this was a very nice, simple story.

Perhaps it could use a tad more character arc, just a tad. The line about slamming the door due to heartbreak or anger was nice, but I thought a little vague, as if he didn't really care that he was angry. The image for this character is of a guy who watches the world from out his window. Maybe he could also be watching a neighbor he has a thing for leaving the apartment building on her way to work or something. And then his heartbreak is him finding she's got a boyfriend. I don't know, just a thought.

At 1 day ago, pvt-blasto wrote: hey everyone! I have never posted on the writing forum and thought this would be a good place to go.

first let me introduce myself, I'm obviously pvt-blasto, and have been on newgrounds for quite a while now. I did some animation hobby projects a while ago and lately i've been working on my graphic novel. I wanted to share with you the graphic novel i've been working on and maybe talk about writing related stuff!

just to clear the air a bit, yes this is a bit of a shameless plug... but don't hate me yet...

my comic:
http://www.daveswurld.com/

the reason i'm posting this here, is because i consider myself more of a writer then i do an artist (as you can plainly see) and i honestly care a lot about my writing and writing in general when it comes to comics, cartoons, movies, and the like.

the comic itself is about a child-like being named Dave who lives in an empty universe. it is about his personal growth as he learns the cruel facts of life and death. Those are the general heavy points, but it is generally a positive story about taking things in stride and growing up.

let me know what you think! and if you feel this is the wrong place to put this, by all means flame me, i do not want to give anyone bad impressions.

thanks!

Welcome to the writing forum.

In my opinion, I think the writers who get the most out of this forum are those that return and participate again and again. You get double respect for helping other authors with their writing questions as opposed to just getting advice from writers. Basically, the more you participate the better we learn what kind of writer you are and can provide better feedback.

We generally like to see people refer to their work as posted on Newgrounds through posts or through their personal pages. With a graphic novel, I understand there may be limitations to consider (although even then, I myself used the flash portal to upload my graphic novel series "Wishbone"). But I really like seeing stuff written, I guess, in the context of what Newgrounds provides.

Anyway, I hope you find this place useful. Remember when asking for help, just be specific, be open-minded, and respectful of everyone.

At 2 days ago, JohnEndel959 wrote:

Thanks for helping out! The Mask is 5,000 words, so it's pretty long. The redesign errors are bad, and since The Mask is so dialogue driven, they're totally jarring. In the other posts I tried to replace all the special characters by hand, but I missed a few, sorry.

I really wanted to at least try writing horror because I've always loved Stephen King, Scott Sigler, etc. I tried to create the right atmosphere, but I guess it is easy to become blatant. I can't wait to hear the rest of your critique!

Hi John,

I left a critique on your thread. I have two more suggestions that you might find useful.

1: You might want to consider framing the story differently. Rather than an extended (and very one-sided) conversation, maybe you'd rather have Jake settle into the session with Lister and just tell a story within a story. The function of Lister in this story seems to be one of having a very educated, supposedly stable individual become destabilized. So why not make it seem a little more scholarly, which would add a certain eerie scholarlyness to it. Read the first page of "Frankenstein" for an example of this.

2: If not, I would really cut down on the dialogue since the abated nature of it really doesn't help us get to know anyone but Jake and that, in a very perfunctory way. A good rule of thumb is to remember that dialogue should only be the highlights of a conversation.

3: The story felt like an "origins" tale or a prequel more than a stand-alone. I felt unsatisfied at the end to the point that I thought there should have been more to come. This has to do with my "curse" critique on the other thread. Perhaps it wa part of Jake's plan all along to pass this curse to Lister. That's the sort of vibe I got and now I felt like I was waiting for Lister to pick a new target to give "the mask" to.

Hope this helps, and I look forward to seeing more of your writing on here.

Hey John,

You have some really nice elements in this story. For me, it doesn't quite work well as a horror piece, so I'll address what I think could be done to help in that regard.

I think the main downfall of the "horror" in this story is that it feels too contained and not part of a world other than what we know of. A horror piece doesn't have to be impossible or supernatural. One viewing of SAW can show you that much. However, horror of any type needs to transport the reader to a world where everything is connected by a dire logic and where the stakes are continually raised as the story progresses.

I think a good comparison to make with your story would be "The Sixth Sense", which if you haven't seen, what's wrong with you? Stop reading this and watch it because I'm about to spoil its structure for you. It truly is one of the great modern horror films and it has a very similar setup to your story and explores similar themes. A troubled individual and a psychiatrist. However, what I think the film has that your story lacks is a full body. If you recall in the film, Bruce Willis realizes that his inability to help Cole at first is connected with his past mistakes with other patients. There is a scene where Willis keeps rewinding the tapes of his past interviews with other patients and realizes there are ghosts whispering in the background noise. Your story is basically that scene and nothing else. The true horror of any work comes after that scene, when the protagonist believes he's finally got it right after being wrong for so long, and then the story completely proves him wrong one final time. You attempt to do this with your twist, but the psychiatrist never seems to struggle in your story. He either believes he's right or realizes he's wrong, he's never uncertain. He never questions what is real until the very end.

So one way I think you could possibly accomplish this is by doing a few things. First, I don't find Jake very believable. He's very open and ranty, which is alright, but people are only like that when they are absolutely certain that their interpretation is right. Jake here is just actively seeking help which is boring. I would cut down on some of Jake's longer passages of dialogue. Perhaps he could be more resistant at first? Or try to refuse help altogether?

Also, a title like "The Mask" conjures up memories of folk-loric stuff like "The Monkey's Paw" (which you can read for free by googling it) or perhaps if you're more inclined, remember the campfire morality tales of "Are You Afraid of the Dark". Your object is not a monster, but a curse. If you want to try another route, I'd suggest a "curse" style of escalation. You begin with a character who firmly does not believe in the "curse" and continues to ignore the curse even after events occur which suggest that the curse is real. And then, you put your character in a situation so obvious, with stakes so high, that he has no choice but to believe in the curse in order to save himself.

So those are two basic ways of looking at horror. One is a very psychological approach, and the other is very plot-driven. There are all sorts of shades of gray in between, so experiment. Horror-writing is, and should be, very fun to write. Hope this helps.

Hey guys,

This isn't so much a stated opinion, but it's something that has been in the news recently.

I can't find a lot of research of the viability of algae biofuels, I was wondering if anything could help me on this. Obama's been getting alot of flack for the proposal of investing in developing this alt. fuel but a lot of the criticism seems to be centered around the "weirdness" of slime as energy.

For a side project, I've always wondered about Gingrich's lunar base proposal. It seems a little more fantastical but it's also a radical idea, and I'm just wondering where the inkling of possibility might have sprung from.

Thanks.

At 18 hours ago, Ilssm wrote:

I myself am a moderate, because going with JUST Right wing or Left wing policies is idiotic. And I could care less about voting, I'm probably not going to when I turn 18, maybe not ever.

First of all, to the OP, congrats, voting for the first time definitely gives you a charge of excitement.

To Ilssm: I understand what you're getting at, however, hopefully your stances on issues are created because you're genuinely convinced by a variety of viewpoints. Politics is about Left vs. Right, policy-backing is not, mainly because conceptions of what is "left-wing" or "right-wing" change all the time. I generally have a hard time seeing wear I fall on the spectrum, but I'm fine with that because what's important is that I always consider different arguments and make sure that my political stances are balanced correctly and in line with my worldview. In the end, I'm probably left of center of the current midpoint, but I think it's telling that I read hotair.com, a conservative blog, but do not read a liberal blog. I don't need my own preacher to preach to me anymore.

Personally I think the final draft demo gets the job done fine for rough-ups. Unless you're planning to submit it to someone and don't want the watermark (which I'm pretty sure doesn't get exported with the .PDF anyway) there's no real disadvantage to the demo other than having create a new file every fifteen pages.

Thanks for the post though if you could be a little more concise next time. That was kind of unnecessarily long.