Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 10/24/11 07:20 PM, Garage wrote: That is terrible. You should be put in prison.

All these crimes I've commited... I feel awful!

Im secretly a hacker that hacked sonicflare9's account before

Stop being such a faggot slacker

When guy tht gets all the girls says shit like "hurr durr im not cute" or "i cant dress" when he obviously knows that he's lying just to get attention.

and what else grinds my gears?

You America.

Fuck you.

At 10/9/11 10:52 PM, Mfan wrote: she's teasing you like all the other whores do

women are evil little beasts

heh heh

I was finally able to talk to my old crush today, and I was a kinda happy to see her. She kept poking my cheeks and touched my shoulders, and sometimes she would slap me on the cheek gently.

y she doin dis

So, today, I was hanging out with some of my friends at the mall, and I saw my girlfriend kissing another guy. You want to know what I did?

I cheated on her in return. I walked over there with one of my friends, and made out with her. Right in front of that bitch.

That'll show her!

this is not a parody thread

So, I was bored and decided to play Street Fighter 3 in my room. I called my girlfriend over and asked if she could come over, because she loves playing SF3.

So, she came over and we played for a good while, and she said "im cold, could I get under your covers?" I didnt want to miss a chance, so I said "maybe both of us should get under it...." and it eventually led into sex. Unfornatuely for me, my bed is really old, and the legs were going to break, and they did. It made a loud bang, and my mom came upstairs to see what happened.

She opened the door, and saw us naked in the bed, and she yelled at us for about 10 minutes. She said that my girlfriend cant come over to my house anymore, and said "that's disgusting, she's younger than you, and you shouldn't do that until you're married"

Well, has this happened to anyone else?

At 9/22/11 05:35 PM, Dogbert581 wrote: Too much cock sucking, or not enough cock sucking

Either way you're not sucking the correct amount of cock

Thanks for being mature about this, I had a feeling that some unfunny fuck would post something like that

I woke up this moring, and felt a big pain in my throat and chest. It hurt whenever I ate/drank something, it hurt when I yawned, it hurt to breathe deeply, and it hurt to talk a bit.

And sometimes, the pain in my neck would feel as if someone were choking me, because my throat or something would get tighter.

What's going on, and how do I treat this?

Remember my girlfriend? The abusive one? Well, I hope you do.

Today after school, I did my homework and went to hang out with my friends. One of them was a really cute girl that I had a crush on, and a couple were some dudes. After about 5 minutes, I found out that I left my phone at my house, but I didnt freak out.

About 2 hours of hanging out, I went back home and my girlfriend was there sitting on my dad's porch, with a serious face.

Her "Where were you?"
Me: "Hanging out with my friends."
Her: "I called you twice and you didnt answer"
Me: "I left my phone inside."
Her: "Who were you talking to?"
Me: "I was hanging out with ______"
She got up, and slapped me in the face.
Her: "You arent cheating on me, right?!"
Me: "No! Why would you think that?"

I turned my head and went inside, and into my room. She followed me, and closed the door shut.

Me: "What are you doing?"
Her: "Nothing."

After that, she threw punches at me, slapped me, scratched me, and everything. I couldnt do anything but sit there and take it.

Jesus, what do I do about this?!

The invisible aliens are coming!

He was driving his car chasing after us

Whoops, I fail.

I meant "Day"

So I was bored, and decided to hang out with 3 of my friends. One of them hurt her ankle a bit, so we told her not to come. She begged to come and came anyways.

We were basically walking down streets and stuff, going into different stores and crap until one of my friends had the weird idea to play baseball in a big parking lot. Obviously, I told them not to, since there were 50 million cars with breakable windows, but they didnt listen.

It went pretty well for about 15 minutes until the baseball hit a car window. The alarm went off and it was LOUD. We panicked and decided to run. Unfortunately, a cop happened to be there at the moment and chased after us. The girl with the hurt ankle couldnt run, so I had to carry her away, and jesus, she was heavier than I expected. After a 10 minute chase, we made it safe at home, and my arms were fucking killing me.

Then it got worse when the SAME cop showed up at my door an hour later.

anyways, how was your day, Newgrounds?

At 8/20/11 11:40 AM, Asandir wrote: Sad to hear. Are you hurt now?

I told her not to slap me hard.

Then she slapped me again.

I slapped her back, and she slapped harder.

At 8/20/11 10:23 AM, RyanBustersword123 wrote: why does she hit you anyway?

I asked her why, and she said that she hits everyone, but hits me more.

Also, I didnt/dont tell her that I enjoy it when she hits me, she would be weirded out.

Sometimes it'll be a gentle slap on the cheek, or a elbow nudge, but sometimes its a really hard slap to the arm, or punch to the stomach, but the weird thing is this:

I like it when she hits me.

For some reason, I think it feels nice when she hits me, but not when anone else hits me.

What the fuck is wrong with me

At 8/14/11 10:26 PM, saqwert wrote: That describes every freshman. They deserve to get their shit kicked in.

I dont think im the shit and better than everyone

At 8/14/11 10:09 PM, Smittytheghost wrote: Don't worry kid. At my school, we only go after douchebag freshman who think they're the shit and have something to say about everything. Just act normal and don't go trying to be cool.

I thought you guys would beat up the weak defensless kids?

What is this

This reminds me of

Im not destroying the world, im saving it!

Is anon trying to help us or something?

I go to high school this Tuesday, and, Im pretty nervous.

Im afraid that im going to be lost. But im more scared about this "freshman hunt"

What kind of stuff do they do to us?!

At 8/9/11 04:46 PM, Squidbit wrote: Why would she just send that to you? That's retarded.

She told me that she sent that to everyone.

At 8/9/11 04:26 PM, tox wrote: we dont need to.. we just dont like you thats all

I love you too.

At 8/9/11 04:19 PM, NuclearWarFare wrote:

Obvious troll is obvious

Oh, would you like to explain how im a troll then?

Shut up faggot.

So, school starts next tuesday and I was going to ask out a girl I liked then.

But then today, she sent me a text saying "Man, I love my boyfriend :)"

Why am I so slow all the time, this always happens.

I fucking hate this.

At 8/8/11 02:52 PM, wuggums47 wrote: Go for the one that likes you. Once you get to know her, you will probably like her too.

Do you mean that I should go for the one that likes me now?

Or do you mean that I should go for her best friend?

At 8/8/11 01:56 PM, ClockworkSpace wrote: put your penis in dude

What am I putting it in?

I would rather have you stop posting