Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 3/8/11 05:30 PM, cheese-man wrote: Still to this day

Can they still buy Call of Duty Black Ops? or World at War?

1) A boat with enough sand and gravel to form a section of land that can be turned into an airport strip. IF the island itself is not big enough.

2) A fully loyal forgery master who will follow me and execute ALL my wishes, and that has to be able to create the following:
- gov't issued certificate to immediately create fully functional and staffed airport on said island/land section;
- gov't issued certificate that grants me full ownership of the island and all its features (including airport); thus, I can donate the airport and most of the island to the Canadian gov't in exchange for the small favor of giving me a flight off the island;
- gov't issued document that ranks me as an "essential asset for the Canadian gov't and a prized civilian", returns me home, and grants me $300,000 per year for the rest of my life (I'm not a greedy fuck, that's enough for me)

3) One slice of freshly-baked blueberry pie.

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I'm a lethargic fat-ass with weak legs crippled by my monstrous weight, and I feel the need to drive a large, four-wheeled vehicle around... But the gas prices are so high, I spend almost all my money on gas, and I don't have enough left to buy myself a 3000-calorie box of lightly powdered donuts and a 30-oz reduced fat chocolate smoothie for my "diet" lunch.

:'(

I'll go crawl in a corner and stay there until my leg bones get pulverized under the weight of my planetary-sized ass.

Libya's at war, gas prices go up. They go up even on regular days. Oil isn't an infinite resource.
It's about time you get a motorbike. Or at least trade in your 10-year old clunkers and pay those extra dollars to buy yourself a hybrid vehicle.
Then you save money on gas and you can feel proud of yourself that you're at least doing your small part in the attempt to save this wreck of a planet that our beloved governments and mega-corporations have created due to an insatiable greed for benjamins.

At 3/4/11 02:58 PM, MrPercie wrote: You get these dumbfucked people who think JUST buying a gun is going to make them safe. OH NO dont both buying better doors and windows that arnt so easy to break and burglar alarms. Im not saying they CANT have guns but they need to fucking realise if they REALLY wanted to be safe you need MORE than just a fucking gun for protection against crime.

True.

But with the average response rate of 20-30 minutes on most home security companies, I can easily smash your expensive windows, tie you down on a chair, steal almost all your valuable electronics, and still have time to make myself an espresso on your coffee machine.

If you have a handgun handy, I'll smash that window, get shot, and bleed on your expensive window frames. Then you only need to fix your windows, not re-purchase half your electronics.

Burglars are pretty smart... Get a thicker window, they get a bigger rock. Get a better door, they get a bigger guy with a crowbar.... but they're usually good runners, too. But can they outrun a 9mm Parabellum round?

Conclusion: Get better doors, better windows, AND a gun.

At 3/3/11 06:14 PM, ming-the-merciless wrote: Define "defence" I would consider "defence" equal strenth/force as you attatcker?
If you agree then it is safe to say the attacker is using a fire-arm of some type, making your argument invailed and parodoxal. Unless you belive if somone punches you you have the god given right to destroy them with powerful gas fed self loading wepons... That's fair.
Herp derp

Honestly now... are you fucking lobotomized?

If someone BREAKS into my house, decides to ROB my stuff, THREATENS me or my family, or attempts to CAUSE ANY TYPE OF DAMAGE, be it to property or to my family, I do INDEED believe I have the fucking right to put a bullet in his leg - AT LEAST.

Once a criminal is busted, he gets any medical treatment administered after he is processed by the police. Then he goes to jail where he sits there for a few years.

Once my door is broken, thousands of dollars worth of property are vandalized and/or stolen - or in the grimmest scenario - my family members are bleeding in a corner - I have to pay for all this shit from MY OWN FUCKING MONEY AND TIME.

Don't try to get all egalitarian and fair here. My house, my territory, my right to evacuate the intruder. If he pulls out a crowbar or a billy club, I am threatened with a potentially lethal force, therefore I have the full right to retaliate with potentially lethal force.

At 3/3/11 06:42 AM, Im-A-Pirate wrote:

At 3/2/11 09:46 PM, DevilDog016 wrote:

In the end, pheromones, secretions, and electrical impulses will show who's clean and who's a lying skank.

Polygraph tests are waaay too inaccurate, that's a very bad idea.

Why would it then be a widely-accepted method of testing sex offenders?

At 3/2/11 06:05 PM, IncendiaryProduction wrote: Obvious gimick account.

Their first post is about being framed for rape, and on their second post they show in-depth knowledge of how quoting works.

Right now, your average Internet user can get in-depth knowledge of multi-quoting from ANY website that charges its users with providing their opinion to multiple subjects. It probably took 90% of Newgrounders... an astonishing 10 minutes to figure it out?

If this is true... try to get a polygraph test for yourself, and also propose the court for them to be taken by whoever is accusing you.

The judge or courtroom have no right to deny you this option - especially if you do it with a certified specialist, under the supervision of your lawyer, and paying for yourself; It's a perfectly reasonable and logical (not to mention effective; the mouth may lie but the body is always honest) and the court/judge may realize this could provide important evidence and impose them on your "victims".

In the end, pheromones, secretions, and electrical impulses will show who's clean and who's a lying skank.

At 3/2/11 07:51 PM, BumFodder wrote: What are your opinions on citizens owning guns?

In my opinion, strict gun control and high penalties for gun crimes are the best options.

The severity of crime punishments is irrelevant to me. When someone breaks into my house to steal my property and threaten my children, I want the peace of mind that comes from a 12-gauge semiautomatic shotgun.

At 3/2/11 08:12 PM, TheConfusedTurtle wrote: I had a thought. From what I know lightsabers can cut through anything. If you turned a light saber on, faced the laser down and dropped it, would it go all the way through a planet? If so, when it hit the other side of said planet would it have the momentum or ability to cut through the atmosphere and continue into space, or would it flip around and keep cycling through the planet until the planet was erased?

I don't know why this is on my mind.

Remember it took quite a while for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to cut through a steel hatch in The Phantom Menace. Lightsabers can cut through stuff the size of a human easily, but throwing one into the ground... Not possible.

What if the hilt catches on a rock? And nothing can stop liquid magma. Not even a lightsaber.

6/10

I'd get gunpowder burns on my left cheek, set my stubble on fire, shoot my ear, probably put a hole in my ceiling and/or lamp, stink up the house with burnt hair and fumes, probably give my mom a heart attack, scare the shit out of me and my dad, then look at my arm and whisper "awesome..."

1) Push
2) Push
3) Wait a few days to see what hormones do (shits und giggles) then either press button because shit's messing me up or press the button if I'm getting isolation dementia.
4) Push

5 dollars sayin' that Tali still won't be able to get out of her damn suit, even with no microbes and shit. Damn lousy immune systems.

nuffsaid

At 2/23/11 02:50 AM, Falling-Apart wrote: What are some things that just disturb the shit out of you? For me it's kidney stones, just the thought of a razor sharp jagged rock tearing up your uretha as is slowly comes out just sends chills up my spine.

I had one of those. It's like pissing ground glass.
What makes me cringe?
Hemmorhoids, Justin Bieber, all the shitty music on the radio, the fact that most of the good rock/metal bands are slating final tours, and hairy mantits.

At 2/23/11 07:34 PM, narkij wrote: So how long has it been since your last shower or bath? What is your record?

Yesterday.

You are a smelly, dirty, crusty and clammy Victorian buttfuck. I want to rub black plague all over your sticky, steamy genitals.

At 2/23/11 07:32 PM, darklink4567 wrote: C'mon Newgrounds! Do it! Give me the best damn creative insult ever! I demand you!

I want to exercise my tactile senses on all you usually-untouched areas.

At 12/16/10 06:30 PM, klik wrote: Well I'm heading over to Woodstock, anyone wanna join man?

Sure, let me bring my Carcano M91/38 with me. Can we stop in Dallas for a bit?

At 8/30/10 04:34 PM, IncendiaryProduction wrote:

At 8/30/10 02:29 PM, illuminate wrote: a flash drive containing 40 naked photographs of the boy in various poses.

i think that that kid wanted this. 40 nude photographs in various poses? nobody would do that for just 20 bucks. you have to want to do that. its not like the guy tricked him, HE SENT HIM 40 FUCKING PICTURES!

Read the story about the kid who killed his parents for taking his Halo 3 DVD. These types of fuckers lost their marbles a long time ago and are dangerous.

That's why I always carry a sawed-off Benelli M3 with me at all times.

At 6/19/10 01:41 AM, Mystery-Moon-Pie-Aud wrote: Silly boy, for no one realized that although there was a very acidic solution atop the building, there was also a very basic one, and hence cancelled out and the pH of it all is now 7. Problem solved before it started.

Hahah, I must admit, that was clever.

How the fuck did 3D Realms manage to screw it up just a few months away from release?

Kill them all and let God sort 'em out!

D'AAWWWWW...

At 8/30/10 02:29 PM, illuminate wrote: A 22-year-old Florida man faces 16 counts of possession of child pornography, after allegedly soliciting a 10-year-old boy for pictures via Xbox Live.

Even deranged pedophiles prefer Xbox over PS3. Proof that PS3 sucks.

According to authorities, Hammerstone offered the boy 1,600 Microsoft points - $20 worth - to send him naked pictures.
Hammerstone was arrested last night in his home, where police deputies discovered a flash drive containing 40 naked photographs of the boy in various poses.

Jesus, what some people do for $20...

At 8/30/10 04:19 PM, DevilDog016 wrote: Uhh... About 15 videogames, my favorite books, documents, few toy cars, my bonsai tree, and random crap that always clutters my bookcase and pisses me off.

Crap. Here ya go.

Uhh... About 15 videogames, my favorite books, documents, few toy cars, my bonsai tree, and random crap that always clutters my bookcase and pisses me off.

At 8/30/10 09:15 AM, Zerok wrote: I'm not sure if it gets any duller than this.

Actually to my right it is duller. Just that colour of wall with no fixtures.

Wow, dude. Ghetto.

At 6/25/10 11:00 PM, SloppyMoe606 wrote: Can I sue the company that made the cereal?

Sure, why not? Use this.

At 6/25/10 08:24 PM, FunnyStuff707 wrote: What do you guys want on it?

Another pizza.

At 6/17/10 02:44 PM, Warforger wrote: No you won't.

I'm a metalhead myself, and I dare to say my music library comprises of far more genres than yours.

Yah, like those metal heads who go onto rap video's on youtube and keep spamming them with "rap = crap" they totally are tolerant of other genre's of music, and yes metalheads tend to be the ones who do this.

Sure. Because that's why all the people I see spamming metal videos have account names that would be representative of wannabe-gangsta 50Cent fanboys who would suck a crippled black man's dick just to claim that they have "the ghetto soul" in them.

Also, because the tens of comments I received on my metal videoclips weren't written by people who had only "Rap" set as their favourite genre in their profile description, and also by people who said it needs more synthesizers. Because obviously, he knew that ALL music must have synthesizers, even though synth abuse is a trait heavily featured in rap and hip-hop songs. Fuck meaningful lyrics, as long as you get ear damage.

The metalhead elitists are annoying and the world would be better without them.

Because the world would be better with rap elitists who claim they are the crusaders of the ghetto and they fight for the 'hood and the brothas while, in reality, they sit on their uneducated, no-postsecondary-studies asses and ram their keyboards while shoving Cheetos and MTNDew down their throats.

At 6/18/10 09:05 PM, arcansi wrote: Acid doesn't work that way, it's a physical impossibility for acid to eat through 6 stories.

Fuck you and your real world!