RAB10 is scripted, storyboarded, and dialog is recorded. Accept no substitutes.

I spend my pathetic 10-12 minutes of daily free time on it. I hate full-time work.

It are due out this summer. That am all.

--Dave

Howdy do, stinky pinkies!

As I might have casually foreshadowed towards the end of RAB3, I was really thinking about making a Retarded Animal Babies movie once upon a time! I averaged 8-10 minutes of finished toonage per month, so a 90-minute movie would take, at most, maybe a year. I wrote the script in five hours back in September, and whaddyaknow, it sucked. Ass. Still wanna read it? Here you go.

After shitting out RAB6 & 7 instead, I drunkenly and publicly swore off all things RAB, since I was poised and ready to take on full-time work elsewhere. But that job tanked like a big ol' chocolate plopper (much to your unending glee), so back I came with RAB8 and even a fat, shiny, world-pommeling DVD, with a super-secret RAB9 hiding on it!!

And now, well...what can I say. Double farts. I'm actually working elsewhere instead, in a big, stark building full of untrusting side-glances, shattered dreams, and stale coffee. What do I do? Trust me, you couldn't care less. It's the banal end to a 21-month run of unemployment and the failed pursuits of countless unrealized pipe dreams.

However, I promise to at least try to cap it all off with a RAB10 sometime in the coming months (working on odd weekends here and there), exclusively for Newgrounds. I have an idea for it, and you will gobble it up like a turkey dinner!

--Dave!

At 2/1/04 05:09 AM, _THE_KNOX_ wrote: um,_knox_ is not the real knox .... i am :P
just letting you know

I knew that! I knew you had all those underlines in your name. I see it a LOT in a certain Portal sidebar.

Makes little difference to me, though...don't really know either one of you guys. I have equal well-wishings for everyone. Come, join my circle of love.

Monkey love!

At 1/31/04 12:52 PM, Red_Wire wrote:

At 1/30/04 06:11 PM, BurningComposer wrote: How do you think some people make money? Giving things away for free? Yeah, that makes sense.

Uh... I dunno.... well, er, a JOB?

I know it seems that simple to a lot of people, but the art market has totally dried up. It's either sell fun DVDs or get a job somewhere making $5 an hour. Perhaps I'm just postponing the inevitable, but who wouldn't! Gotta give the dream a shot, or life's not worth living.

Sorry about cluttering it up around here with clicky-clicky ads...it's probably annoying to people who don't like my work. I'd suggest just not bothering with me at all instead of checking out my profile, etc. if you're not interested in what I'm sellin'. :o)

--Dave!

At 1/30/04 01:39 PM, SteveZarebski wrote: Hi Dave RAB 8 was awsome I can't wait for more why are you not going to but RAB 9 online?

Tell ya what. I'm pressing 1,000 DVDs. The shit on them is my whole last four years. But if there's nothing on there that you couldn't see online, the temptation to send me beer money in exchange for the DVD would be tiny. So I made an exclusive episode, as a special thanks for your dollars. People who buy it can feel special knowing they've got something that other people don't. Sure, it's a ploy. I'm doing the best I can with what little I've got!

By the way, that earplug thing was weird. Filled up my ears with silicon goo for ten minutes. Ickypants. I really did feel like I put a hot glue gun in my ear.

At 1/30/04 02:39 PM, _KNOX_ wrote: Good job using NG for advertising dickshit (new word).

I like that word. Dickshit. I'm going to steal it!

Advertising here is the ONLY reason to spend 100+ hours on making a free Flash toon. The only reason. You're a captive audience, and I'm using all of you. Hope ya don't mind, and that you can be entertained while I try to scrape something together for my starving family! :o)

Hello again!

As it says in my description of newly-posted RAB8, I didn't get that job after all, so I've got plenty of time to kill making more internet craps for your tired eyes.

Unfortunately I don't have time for my usual rambling post; I have to go get fitted for earplugs (I'm in another damn band). Here are all the pertinent links I want to ferret you off to:

Pre-order my DVD! 30 toons, over 2 hours of content!! Also has NINTH ANIMAL BABIES FILM that you won't see here or anywhere else online!

CD-ROM updated! Has RAB1-8 on it!

Holy crap! Valentine's Day cards! Order now in time for the holiday!

And last but not least...

LEGO ANIMAL BABIES!! I'm auctioning the first set of all five characters, done in LEGO! Over 300 pieces total, with step-by-step instructions! Orange, brown, pink, and even a few purple bricks. Shiny goodness for the rabid RAB fan.

Unemployment makes me do strange things!

--Dave

Incidentally...here's the RAB7 contest winners.

At 12/17/03 06:03 AM, Frank2982 wrote: What was going to be of that part shown on the CD where you were making an episode. The one where the drunk cat was sleeping against a tree and the RAB were jumping around on a wagon of some sort. Just wondering if that was a thrown away idea. A none finished episode... etc.

That was from Magic Animal Babies...that beer contest thingy I made.

--Dave

At 12/16/03 02:46 PM, Bertuzzi44 wrote: FUCK.
Dave, you made the best shit on here, good luck with that job. I can't believe it's the final one, especially after in the comments for RAB 7 you said something like "I'm going to keep making these things forever." I'd stop if I were you too, but it's just a disappointment. This is a sad, sad day.

Sorry about that...it was very irresponsible and hypocritical of me to say. I knew full well this new career was starting soon and I just got caught up in the excitement of uploading the film. And surprise, I was cocked.

At 12/16/03 02:38 PM, leigh_mcgrath wrote: The life of a cartoonist is that of starvation and infinite sadness.

Oh god... back to drowning my sorrow in booze...

Amen to that, brother!

*clink*

Thanks again, everyone!

Hello, beloved whippersnatchers.

Just a quick post to say thanks for making the bringing of Retarded Animal Babies to your otherwise innocent li'l eyes a (mostly) fun and rewarding experience. RAB7 ("Shitty Shitsmas") will be my final episode for a long, long time, probably ever (unless some TV deal happens...yah right).

I really should have ended it after the first one. RAB1 was a pure chunk of bliss to make...a 16-hour affair that stands alone, pleasing the widest audience. Everything after that was done as a big THANK YOU to Newgroundsers.

It's funny...new episodes always get compared to the ones before them; with every bad one submitted I'm accused of "losing my touch," and with every good one, "I'm back" apparently. It's kind of silly, but that's the good ol' fickle internet.

These things all get made pretty late at night over the coarse of several weeks, and I'm just doing my best with the abilities I've got. I can't "try harder." This is it. I suck/am God/whatever to different people. Some people rip off anime, some people draw stick figures. I draw auto-fallating puppies and booby-dragons.

Anyway, I've been out of work for over a year now so I had plenty of time to make big-ass Flash shows for no pay (except my seventh or eighth lifetime dose of pseudo-fame). I'm starting a new job the beginning of the year so I didn't want everyone pining away for a "Crappy New Queer" or "Cunty Cuntingtines Day" episode, etc. Nope...gotta pay those power bills, so I'll be instead starting full-time work in January for a developer here in CT. I'll actually be submitting a game of theirs, for which I made art, very soon here at Newgrounds (go easy on it!), with one final taste of Animal Baby-ish characters in it (two very hamster-like beavers!)...so you can watch for that if you wish.

Thanks again for all your support. To the fans: big bear hugs to ya, and I'll hopefully have a DVD for sale very soon! And to the naysayers: you'll just have to pick on someone else for a while.

--Dave

Never heard of it.

Hello, crapweasels!

Retarded Animal Babies 6 is (finally) up. I've been, you know...busy sitting around. You know how it is.

If you've seen any of the older episodes this past week, you might have noticed something different about them! The #1 single viewer request (other than to go fuck myself right in the keester), was to add subtitles. I've gotten hundreds of emails saying shit like "that fucking Hamster's voice is really hard to understand, man," or "hey, email me all the RAB scripts or I'll scrape your eyes out with a fondue fork!" So there ya go. Subtitles. No more will I have to email people about what Bunny says when he's possessed in RAB5, or what Donkey says in the Escher painting in RAB2. I'm free! FINALLY FREE!!!

Oh, yah. Added stop/play/rewind shit to RAB5+6 also, but not 1-4, for unnecessarily ass-chafing technical reasons involving "event" sound. 1-3 are pretty short, anyway. And as for RAB4, I didn't even add the subtitles or change any damn bit of it at all for that matter, because it's just too big and programmatically hulking already. Sorry 'bout that.

And...ahem...there's a few links up towards the top left of the movies too! Yeah, right up there! See 'em? Clicky clicky!

--Dave ("jotandjab")
www.umop.com

Heya,

Just a quick note to let you know the CD-ROM is now available at my shop!

CafePress.com/animalbabies

It's got all five episodes on it so you can watch 'em anytime offline. It's also got a nine-minute, live action BONUS QUICKTIME video! It's a Behind-the-Scenes thing....basically just me talking about how the toon gets made and acting like a jackass. Fans will probably enjoy it. It actually answers a lot of the technical questions I get all the time, too.

Yeah, I'm kind of taking over the homepage here after Tom's generous post from a few days ago about the beer contest thingy. SOWWY! BAD DAVEY

See you in a couple months! Got an idea brewing for RAB6 but obviously I want to polish it even harder than my chafed knob getting it ready for ya.

--Dave!

Hey, thanks for voting, everyone! This is indeed the sixth movie I was referring to in my RAB5 comments. Yeah, I took 'Retarded' outta the name for the same reason I'd have to if I ever wanted to work for TV. Execs won't go near that word.

What am I going to do with a $7000 bar? Will it come with a keg? What are the taxes on this thing? My accountant friend tells me 25%. Better sell some alcohol-soaked blood!

I was going to post a plug to this contest on the homepage myself sometime this week or next, but now I don't have to. Thanks Tom! --Dave

At 8/9/03 06:24 PM, Nameless88 wrote: "I did indeed script a fucking full-length picture featuring these characters, and I might even post it on my site someday. I'm only 99% sure I've scrapped the idea. Once that percent is 100 I'll post it."

Holy Shit! A full length movie of retarded animal babies?!?!?!?! An hour and a half or more of pure retarded animal goodness?!??!?! *screams like a little girl* Eeeee! *falls to the floor, foaming at the mouth and twitching*

It's never been done; a full-length animated movie by one person. And with my dirt-ass, corner-cutting art style, I'd be just the guy to do it. That script is pretty raw, though. I'll either re-write it, revise it, or just bag it and keep making shorts. I don't know yet...I've only been doing this series for a few months now. Keep spreading the word, and maybe by this time next year enough people will have heard of it for me to really want to try. But until then....*yawn*...beer me

I don't want to give a single thing away about RAB5. All I can say is there'll be no Nadir. That was a one-time thing that I tried on for size. It was a pain in the ass, to be honest. It was also fun though, and I like the result.

FART!

--Dave

Hello!

My shorts are earth-toned in excitement for all the fun things I have in store for you. I get lots and lots of emails from squirts asking when they're going to see Retarded Animal Babies 5, and I'm happy to say that I've finally come up with a concept worthy of putting up alongside the other four. It's scripted, storyboarded, audio has been recorded, and art/inking have begun! Look for it in about a month.

Other things of retarded note:

1) I made an Animal Baby beer commercial which I'll submit here sometime in November. Sorry, can't say the name of the company. No, it's not for TV. But maybe it'll lead to something...who knows. That's why we're all here Flashing, isn't it?

2) Lots of rumors floating around after RAB3 about a movie coming out in 2005 A.D. :o) C'mon, that was a joke. That said, I did indeed script a fucking full-length picture featuring these characters, and I might even post it on my site someday. I'm only 99% sure I've scrapped the idea. Once that percent is 100 I'll post it. It's a helluva weird read.

3) I'm very excited to be making a CD-ROM that I'll be selling at my CafePress shop. It'll have all five episodes, fun navigation, and a BONUS QUICKTIME behind-the-scenes movie with me talking about all kinds of stupid shit; mostly the process of making a RAB flick. Fan candy! I should be releasing it sometime around the same time I submit RAB5; a proper Animal Baby Assault!

4) Until then, I've got TONS of new stuff at my shop. Six different baseball jerseys and COOL-looknig mousepads (featuring 300dpi screenshots from episodes), with plenty of products featuring all the Babies, and SATAN too! SATAN hat! Fucking Fucker shirts! Hell yeah! Please visit and show your support: CafePress.com/animalbabies

See you soon!

--Dave

At 6/10/03 05:22 PM, PikaExploder wrote:

> but now you are trying too hard.

I agree. This one was was too big. Too many ideas in the kitchen. Cant...stop...animating........please send help.

> I still love the series, but it definately doesn't deserve a 4.5+

That's what you believe, and so you voted a 4 or less. It's a democracy, pally. I'm obviously trying to hit square into the jugular of the masses, and god bless 'em, they seem to like it. Giving people what they want is all any of you has to do. Stay true to your style, heart, and sensibilities, but entertaining is all about just giving them what they want. Luckily for them, it's what I want, too. I love this brainless shit.

4.5+ is a true honor (just as it was for part 3 during its first month). Thanks, voters! And for those who are pissed off and dearly wish against my would-be success...don't worry, it'll skulk back down to 4.15 or whatever in a month or so. It always happens.

If this thing gets noticed by some fat slob in a tall building, I'm looking forward to interviews, etc., where I get to talk at length to any who would hear about the sheer, total coolness that is Newgrounds.

Arrogancy is clearly pissed about a review that I recently wrote, laced with assorted ramblings about how he's a genious, and can do anything besides quality amateur anime stuff, etc. So I can see how he'd have gotten upset. I used the word "amateur." How dare I! Don't I KNOW that he's a future squillionaire?

FART

In other news, thanks for all the 5's! Me are love you too. I'm more than happy to lower the standards of toon viewers everywhere with my shitty shittery. It browns the fingers and warms the heart. It rubs the lotion. Well grease my feet and make me a pot pie!