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I collect money. I have been collecting for 21 years and have only amassed a small fortune, to date. I would like to have the chance to see my collection in full like in the film "Bruster's Millions", when he saw a million dollars in a bank vault. I hope mine will be bigger, and made of pound coins

At 5/30/04 01:05 PM, DAmainman wrote: One must also wonder what our fair country will be like Post-Blair, we may have our chance to make Joxa P.M. after all!

Having had time to think about this, during my recent 4-day exile, (I don't want to talk about it thanx.) I conclude that if we are to make a political stand, we need a political party, what what. Because we are English, I suggest the Tea Party. (Anybody mentions Boston, and I shall be forced to withhold the Moet et Chandon from them)

Any better Ideas chaps?

At 5/29/04 11:05 AM, DAmainman wrote: One was slightly worried about one's cohorts when one was rewiewing this topic,

Cohorts?! Now look here, old boy, the word cohort refers to army, albeit slightly primative. If I am a member of anyone's army, I am a member of:

1) Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II's army.

2) Joxa's army, as he should be the PM

You know when you've been Games Workshopped.

You sold your soul to GW?!

At 5/25/04 09:18 PM, Rabid-Echidna wrote: I'm planning on inventing a solar powered armchair.

How about a solar powered tanning machine?!

At 5/26/04 04:09 PM, EtonBoy wrote: One has just done something very english one has just got accepted into a hooligan firm, one is very pleased with oneself

I say, does that mean one will not be joining the festivities in Portugal this summer, or would you be watching the games on one's television, on one's yatcht, off the portugese coast, old bean

At 5/26/04 12:52 PM, EtonBoy wrote: Good show Mr Coop we will appoint you minister of thread interfearers

If Chef is going to be the Minister of thread interferers, then I propose that Joxa should be Prime Minister

I could do with a second from someone and an acceptance from Joxa, so we can get the ball rolling, what. Might I also be so bold as to propose Eton as minister for Class, with his touch of Burrberry. It all adds a touch of penache to the thread, doesn't one think.

If Mr Shift want's to put marmalade, or any other type of preserve on his crumpets, then whom are we to object, so long as it's in the privacy of one's countyy estate. However, tis not polite to go spreading preserves on crumpets at someone else's tea party. It's a damned insult, I say.

I must say, Evening Shift, old boy, if you are going to join in the hunt for JF's, then there are more points available for JF's who are not supposed to be here. The ones who are have money and can obviously invest it in our thriving tourism industry. Try setting up a gift shop in one's country manor. It works wonders. Just take a look at places like Chatsworth House in the Derbyshire countryside

Absoultely Spiffing

Actually, the purple haired muchkin you speak of did show up yesterday, old fruit. He joined in with our discussion on politics.

I say, old boy, have you seen any Johnny Foreigners about your way, at all? The swines wrecked one's prized croquet lawn, yesterday and the contractors have tabled a mighty bill to repair it.

It turns out these foreigners didn't even speak a word of the Queen's English. Damned dispicable, I say.

Professor Frink, of course.

"Jesus, Mary and Gloiven!"

At 5/25/04 01:11 PM, Nirvana13666 wrote: People are afraid of what they can’t explain so they make up these ideologies and theories to comfort themselves. Yes we have a creator but what if he wasn’t meant to be praised? What is Jesus was just a man and we have blown this whole “story” out of proportion? People would go on a rampage if religion was banned.

People are afraid of responsibility. They feel less guilt, if someone or something has told them to do it. People like me say the same sort of thing, but we say "It seemed like a good idea at the time." instead of "God told me to do it" or "The devil told me to do it"

At 5/25/04 06:02 PM, jonthomson wrote: I say, it's great to see such a bastion of English heritage going strong. Say, wasn't our cricketing victory over those blasted Kiwis brilliant? Any of you chaps care to say how we will do in the foreign lands of Portugal this fine summer?

I believe our adventure into the foreign parts of Portugal shall be quite profitable. That David Beckham chap is playing a quite delightful game at the moment. Even though we are managed by a JF, I think that it will be a good summer for the sporting endevours of that beautiful country, we call jolly old Enland.

Better than '66 I tell you!

White with one sugar and a dash of Scotch. Helps with the concentration what what.

One's lawn is clear of the JF's, but it it now a mere shadow of it's former self. Damn selfish JF's, they pitched their tents on one's prized croquet lawn.

Calm down, Chef old boy. The next thing one knows and one will be running about, drunk as a lord, waving one's meat cleaver above one's head. That just wouldn't be cricket old boy.

At 5/25/04 03:55 AM, Chefcoop wrote: I say that spoiledrotten charcter has been on another thread calling our country 'limeyland' the cheek of it. The Queen will here of this what what.

Well, what do you expect. She lives in Yankeeland and doesn't have much truck for us English chaps, eh.

I got back from the med today, only to find that some of Johnny Foreigner's lot had take up residence on the lawn of one's mansion. I sent Jeeves out with a polite warning, that if they did not vacate one's lawn, then one should take off one's belt, and by thunder, one's trousers would fall down.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I do declare that Johnny Foriegner hunting season officially open. (Look out soon for official JFH point scoring and ranking tables) Get off Her Majesty's land! The hounds will be released in five minutes

At 5/24/04 10:47 AM, EatonBoy wrote: What ho chaps, how is everyone today whatwhat one must say that our boys are stuffing those Kiwis at Lords A-MAZIE-ING isn't it oh well tea and swiss roll anyone?

Jolly good show, chaps. Especially that Andrew Strauss fellow. An inspired performance at the crease over the five days and on a debut to boot. One has been left in awe. Good show

Ah, yes the navy. One tries to keep the tradition going, but one can't tear oneself away from one's prized yacht, the 'HMS Lady Ria'. Still, the tradition lives on and one can also indulge in a few leisure activities at the same time: Fishing, swimming, shuffleboard. the only problem is that one's balls keep rolling about on the billiards table.

One caught a huge bass today. It must have weighed in at ten pounds. Jeeves cooked it up a treat on the barbeque and we all washed it down with a spot of Darjeeling

"Jeeves, set a course for Blighty old boy!"

At 5/24/04 06:07 AM, Damien3003 wrote: Do people NEED racism for guidance in life?

Well, the KKK seem to

Like in the one episode of Drity Sanchez, where they were playing snooker and one of the guys dangled his sack in a pocket. Guy takes a shot, hits him square in the scrote.

IT DREW BLOOD!!!

Never do anything which could remove yourself from the genepool. Otherwise you'll end up here: http://www.darwinawards.com

At 5/23/04 04:05 PM, NonicEguy wrote: The Korean army is the biggest, but not the strongest! The American army is Strongest!

Yeah, the strongest at sitting behind a wall, unloading a full magazine blindly, at what they think might be an enemy and then discovering it was just a bunch of civilians or allied troops. They killed more brits in Afghanistan than the Taleban fighters did (so the taleban were poorly equiped and had inferior numbers, but they were the enemy, so were actually trying to kill us)

I say chaps. What a damned shame for those boy the Jag-wahs. Apparently, they lost a diamond worth £140,000 in the race yesterday. Still, not to worry, eh?

I've decided to pop round to Gibraltar today for a spot of fishing in the Med. The sea's lovely and cool and the totty is spot on.

Anyone fancy a dip?

What, and kill off the planet? Why don't we just all submit to communism? That would work so long as every country did it

What a spiffing day for a spot of motor car racing. I'm in Monaco, on my yatcht. What a jolly good race, even though that I-Tie won it. Still, it's better than old Harry Hun winning and spoiling everybody's fun, eh, what what.

Tis a damn shame that Jenson Button didn't win, but never mind. There are more races to be run and I'm sure he'll come up trumps when he gets to Silverstone.

Still, what lovely weather we are having in the harbour. I might go for a quick dip, what. Maybe I'll get Jeeves to park next to the casino, so I can win even more cash, to go with the oodles I already have.

Toodle-oo chaps

At 5/23/04 05:55 AM, BananaBread_Muffin wrote:

At 5/23/04 04:45 AM, Coop83 wrote: 2) Switzerland (the Swiss are so well trained, that the whole country gets up and fights if they are invaded, pluis they don't interfere in other people's businesses)

Although the Swiss are hardly in the thick of the action these days... XD

The Swiss army never was in the thick of the action, dumbass. They are the classic examples of neutrals. They train hard, to defend themselves and maybe submit some troops for the UN's peacekeeping forces. THEY DO NOT INVADE ANYONE

At 5/23/04 03:09 PM, leeboy105 wrote:
We are taking the piss, but of peoples' risible misconceptions of the English demeanour and speech.

For example, old boy. I would normally talk with a bit of a brummay accent, sow this just lets me get a little further detached from realitay, if yow get moy meaning.

by the by chaps, you missed an excellent game of cricket today. Our lads won by four wickets. Jolly good show, eh?

At 5/22/04 07:03 PM, EatonBoy wrote: Oh that would be DEE-LITE-FULL whatwhat shall I get Jeaves to bring cucumber sandwhiches?

Rather! nothing like cucumber sandwiches accompanied by the sound of leather on willow, eh, old chap?

At 5/22/04 07:38 PM, BigBlueBalls wrote: I'd agree that the British army is one of the most highly trained in the world though. The U.S. would be second place

Sorry, my research from various sources concludes the following top three for military skill (taking into account size, training, effectiveness in combat etc)

1) Britain
2) Switzerland (the Swiss are so well trained, that the whole country gets up and fights if they are invaded, pluis they don't interfere in other people's businesses)
3) US

At 5/23/04 02:15 AM, T_Money_revenge wrote: your right a good religion teaches you to be a good person.

Therefore Christianity is wrong, because most people who call themselves Christians have been arrested for something, own a weapon of somekind or pay no heed to the bible.

New theory: MODERNISATION. Write an 'even newer testament' where people can associate themselves with the charachters. Unlike me, most people lack the facilities to empathise

The UK made Centurion Tank. It comes complete with 105mm gun(range 205km / 127 miles) , 51-152mm (2-6") thick armour. Max speed of 43kph (27 mph) and space for 4 crew.

Optional extras include Sunroof, CD player and nine(9) cup holders

A snip at £250,000

Tally Ho to that old boy! Fancy a game of Cricket tomorrow? we are one man short.

I do!
The best regiment in the whole world has to be the Special Air Service. Since they're British, I conclude that the British armed forces are better than the US army.

The US army relies on weight of numbers to win it's battles (Bush doesn't mind the number of caskets coming back from Iraq) and the fact that they shoot blindly until their magazine runs empty.

We British on the other hand have mastered three shot bursts with auto weapons. Much more accurate and therefore cheaper. We are more Elite than you Yankees could ever possibly be.

There. I've said my piece, so can we stop this argument, please ladies and gentlemen.