I'm sure there are quite a large number of fat people who would do anything to be in your position.

You should consider yourself among the lucky.

At 10/3/08 11:35 PM, Malachy wrote:

At 10/3/08 10:44 PM, JackPhantasm wrote: And also. She referenced his dead wife.

Quite distasteful.

she's running with a man who got married to a much younger woman almost as soon as his first wife's death certificate was signed

Interestingly enough, Carol McCain's not even dead.

She was just crippled by a car accident in the late 1960s, while John was in 'Nam, and when he returned in the early '70s, Carol couldn't satisfy McCain's insatiable lusty impulses. Thus, being the maverick he is, John shopped around for other options, favoring a solution that could be roundly criticized on both sides of the aisle in the Congress of Morality, and eventually finding one in the form of a millionaire beer heiress who happened to be around 17 years younger than him, and somewhat more than modestly attractive.

Carol, of course, understood that behind every great man, is a great woman in which to dump his ever-virile semen. Being that she was unable to perform this essential duty, confined as she was to a wheelchair, she fully understood, and accepted, the reality of McCain's decision. The decision of that Oh-So-Irascible Maverick, for whom we now have the great honor to cast our ballots.

At 10/2/08 11:59 PM, Sensationalism wrote: What's a black state?

If I had to guess, it probably somewhere close to here:

Probably the dumbest line I've ever heard on a nationally televised debate.

Well, now.

Back on the Art Forum about a year and a half ago, we had this little weekly competition called "Photo Manipulation of the Week." Some of the contributors to this thread might remember it.

As I recall, there was a fighter jet that was used as the base photo one week, and I superimposed its image over that of a monster truck for the competition. Despite this photo being rather old, I find that it somewhat suits the theme in question here.

HQ Version

Generally, the kinds of people who don't vote, are the kinds of people you wouldn't really want voting, anyways.

A Cubs win this year would really be fantastic. On this, the 100th anniversary of their last World Series title.

A Cubs win this year would also be highly unlikely, given their luck. Nonetheless, I would root for the Cubs in such a situation, considering that all of my teams have been knocked out of contention already.

Frankly, though, I don't care as much about who wins the World Series, as long as it isn't the Yankees.

At 9/30/08 06:28 PM, elliez3 wrote: What about the users who post around NG, but don't have flash? Will WE get reimbursed somehow??

Reimbursed for what?

For enjoying a free community provided by Tom and Company, which includes entertainment of many variations, not to mention nearly unlimited free space in which to blog, post, write, draw, etc?

Is that not more than payment enough to cover your patronage of the site? There are some sites out there that would make YOU pay for all the shit that Newgrounds provides free of charge, and in such vast quantities that you'd virtually never run out of content.

At 9/30/08 01:07 AM, marchohare wrote:

At 9/30/08 01:00 AM, Joshiwa wrote: ...seems to me that they would be able to have the elevator within the next few years.

They have that sticky materials problem to overcome first. They might have that solved in the next few years, but they sure won't have the thing built.

Having seen a Discovery Channel documentary on the subject, a possible material that has been proposed for such a project as a space elevator has recently been uncovered.

Carbon nanotubes are thusfar the most viable option for space elevator construction, but in order to string together such long lines of nanotubes, the tensile strength of this material must somehow be increased. The problem of Oxygen production also exists, although I assume the use of plants will somewhat resolve this issue, in the same way as it has on the ISS.

At 9/29/08 10:36 PM, iamb wrote: I forget, is written porn allowed in the General forum? Because that's what this is.

As I interpret the rule, it's based largely on quality of the submission.

The reason story threads were carpet-banned was because of a few bad apples who wrote shitty serialized "choose your own adventure!" stories, ruining it for everybody else. Since that time, though, the limits on story threads have been somewhat reduced.

At 9/29/08 05:38 PM, AznWarlord wrote: Plus, imagine a life with no Coke, no Microsoft, hell even no McDonalds (and I fucking hate McDonalds).

Well, it seems to me as if we'd simply drink Pepsi, use Macs, and end up eating in more often.

As a matter of fact, that sounds like pretty much what I've been doing for years.

At 9/29/08 01:46 AM, StarF68 wrote: That is AWSOME!

You'd be surprised how easy it was to find a decent picture of your face.

At 8/28/08 01:54 AM, Melles wrote: Nothing in the funnies are ever 'funny' anymore, its either bland, stupid or stolen jokes that have been around since the dawn of time.

That is exactly why Photoshop exists. To make the unfunny become funny.

I'm sold.

At 9/27/08 06:07 AM, wreckages wrote:

At 9/27/08 05:55 AM, Bolo wrote: It was then that we became free.

wow bolo, you really went all out on that one, didn't you

Oh, hardly.

At 9/27/08 05:11 AM, MattHarty wrote: I'm 21 and still suck on my moms tits. What's your point?

That's so coincidentally funny!

It was just the other day that my mother was sunbathing out on the roof, nude of course, when I caught fleeting sight of her in the viewfinder of the camera which I had installed up there for just such a purpose.

Her saggingly sensual breasts hung out like schnauzer puppy dogs, strangled by the hand of the archetypal Futuristic robot; they were cartoonishly swollen by exposure to ultraviolet rays, which, after years of constant sunbathing (she neither worked, nor ate, nor slept anymore), were being consumed by watermelon-sized subcutaneous cancers, giving the impression that she was in some form of bizarre cross-species mutation of a sea cucumber and a prehistoric yak.

Naturally, being aroused by the sight of her, and having not seen her in the flesh since I was a young child, I was drawn to that fateful rooftop of my house, where the weight of her tumors, I now realized, had essentially become leaden barbells across her chest, negating the possibility of her departure, and increasingly making the act of breathing a more difficult task. I watched her mottled red-black burned skin (once, I remembered, she had been Snow-White), rise raspingly up and down, shuddering spasmodically with every successive exhale.

Slowly, I climbed the ladder which led to the roof, shedding my clothing as I went. A full erection was now quite imminent as I anticipated the upcoming playful contact between erogenous zones which had so characterized the combined youth of myself and my mother years ago; I longed deeply and subconsciously for those steamy, dark days.

Now on the roof, beams of angry sunlight struck my wand'ring eye, forcing me to gaze down upon the sunbed stretched for several meters in every direction. There she lay atop the bed, black and crispy as if simultaneously becoming an African and a burnt strip of bacon - aye, she certainly smelled as if she'd been fried in her own savory juices for the course of a fortnight's interval.

And as I laid softly upon her breasts, I felt their leathery exterior, knowing that what lay beneath it must by right be intense and purified essence of my mother. I laid my face upon her two-foot diameter, misshapen left nipple, and gently tugged with my teeth. And so were we reunited - forebear and progeny - for an ultraviolet tryst on this sun-dappled roof, me tearing ever more eagerly at her swollen tumorbags, and she growing ever more faint, ever more raspy with my every stab of incisor into her chest.

She voiced no protest, only faint moans of pleasure, as I suckled greedily at the life force within. There was no woman's milk in here. Only the milk of a million mutated membranes, formed into hard, tight balls of random cellular growth, which slipped sensually, erotically through the small opening at the tip of her nipple, which I had expanded greatly in my tearings.

And then with one great twist of my teeth and my head, my lion's mane of uncombed and sweat-drenched hair, I pried the entire massive breast from her body and flung it ceremoniously into the air, where blood vessels, instead of shooting rivulets of blood, instead shot innumerable tightly packed projectiles of tumorous origin far and wide across the roof.

It was then that we became free.

Here's the thing that always galled me about the game World of Warcraft, and others like it;

Essentially, what you're doing is paying a faceless corporation an exorbitant amount of money in order that they might find more effective methods to cause you to waste time. You're actually PAYING this corporation to siphon your time away, and reallocate it to the maintenance of an intangible unreality that will disappear the instant you stop tossing quarters into the maw of the beast.

When you do stop playing, and indeed you will tire of the game eventually, you will find your pocketbook in a much-reduced state, and yet you have absolutely nothing to show for your expense beyond a couple of pixels on the screen of a computer, and even those will be excised as soon as the monthly fee ceases to be paid.

This type of exploitation on the part of Blizzard is not only disingenuous, but also blatantly obvious. Few business models in the history of mankind have been as efficient as the sale of intangible pixels, created for pennies on the dollar, and peddled en masse to people of every continent.

That so many of the players of these games are unaware of these facts, or either understand them, and yet continue to waste valuable time and money (perhaps modern life's two most valuable resources), is certainly not a positive reflection on these users.

Unless you have 2+ years' experience with photoshop, do not under any circumstances use the liquify tool.

As an amateur, it has the effect of making anything you do in Photoshop look like utter tripe; clearly the work of somebody who is inexperienced.

At 9/22/08 11:46 PM, NickScott wrote: And wtf? I thought Apple was the creative one, but they totally ripped Zune off on this one.

From what I understand, the Zune lacks an accelerometer, which allows for screen rotation on the iPod..

At 9/22/08 03:28 AM, Piss wrote:

At 9/22/08 03:22 AM, Bolo wrote:

At 9/22/08 03:15 AM, TheDrizzleStick wrote:

At 9/22/08 02:29 AM, Bolo wrote:

pics or it didn't happen

Okay, then. Pictures.

Wtf, idiot. That's a rock concert.

Rescind this insult posthaste!

I will no have you defiling the name of Moses for your "Rock" sac-religion.

"When your day is too long, your intestines are too short, your breakfast consists of prunes, and your lunch consists of laxatives, then you have a legitimate reason to commit suicide."

There's your quote.

At 9/22/08 03:15 AM, TheDrizzleStick wrote:

At 9/22/08 02:29 AM, Bolo wrote:

pics or it didn't happen

Okay, then. Pictures.

At 9/21/08 07:16 PM, Sn1p3rX44 wrote:

At 9/21/08 07:08 PM, Bolo wrote: STUFF ABOUT RELIGION

Stop talking.

Hey - chill, buddy.

It's your ass on the line, that I'm saving right now with knowledge. You've got the power of sotn running through your blut, but it can be driven out!

And I'd like to make an amendment to my last post. Moses lived only a paltry 120 years; It was Noah who lived to be 950, with the help of our conveniently friendly overlord, Yahweh. And Methuselah outlived him by another nineteen years, yet!

Jeanne Calment, that little shmegege who claims to be the oldest person ever to live, is nothing but an insignificant and ultimately evil dreykop, who will come to know Yahweh's power in due time.

But you just sit tight, there, kid. With my help, we'll expel all those little tayvls from your soul, yet.

There is anger in this face.

Whoa there, buddy.

Clearly, you haven't heard about Moses or Abraham. Abraham, without a shadow of doubt, lived to be 175 consecutive years old. Jesus, he didn't even take a break for a couple of centuries; he just fucking plowed through those years like they were a whole line of nafkes in a whore house.

And don't even get me started on Moses and his 900!

Do you have any pets?

The Yankees and their decrepit old stadium, inflated egos, massive Pay-Scale, and overrated players, can all sit in the stands and be crushed by the stadium's rotting pillars, and I'd be a happy man because of it.

I imagine my sentiments are probably similar to most baseball fans outside of New York itself.

Because it's a great idea to take the Lifestyle advice of a guy who's in a community college.

At 9/18/08 09:00 PM, JadeTheAssassin wrote: Hey.

I was here before you.

Somehow, that one seems to have found its way onto Dramatica.

At 9/20/08 05:11 AM, Casualty wrote: You were lucky it was, and that was, as you said, the greatest time of your life.

Since nothing will ever equal how rapturously wonderful the dance was, the attendee can never truly be happy again! It's all downhill from there until death!