LOL!
July 16, 2008
Dear Fellow Followers Of God:
There comes a time in every person's life when god calls upon them to ritualistically remove their own liver. For me, that time is at hand. And I, Jesus Christ, am not a blasphemer. Nor am I disillusioned about the consequences of fulfilling god's edict.
I know that at best I will be left bileless, most likely dead. So, let this be my last testament. Let it be known that while my body lies here in Applebee's bathroom full of riblettes and those little cheese thingies, but empty of a liver; the rest of me is in a better place and surrounded by the spirit of the lord.
Rejoice!! Do not mourn nor question.
KTTL (kudos to the lord),
Jesus Christ
P.S. Reassure my children that my suicide wasn't entirely their fault.