He began his testimony by saying to the prosecutors, "Can you define, for me, what you mean by the word 'alone'?" I thought, "This is gonna be one long fuckin' day!" He doesn't know what the word "alone" means? He's gotta know what the word "alone" means!
He doesn't know what the word "alone" means, which means he thinks the voices in his head are other people! And then I flipped to the other channel. At the UN he hadn't even spoken, he was just standing in front of them. They were giving him the standing oblation.
They were screaming, "You got a blowjob! You got a blowjob! I wish we could have gotten a blowjob!"
And I flipped back and he said to the prosecutor, "Can you define, for me, the word 'is'?"
And the prosecutor said, "Jizz?"
And he said, "No, IS!"
And I said, "You know what the word 'is' means, that's the FIRST verb you learn in ANY language! It's the verb to be, it's the verb of existence! It's why you went out to get your winky whacked!"
And then I flipped and they were screamin' at the UN, "We want cigars! Get us cigars!"
And then I flipped back and he said, "Well I wasn't really screwin' her, your honor. 'Cause, you see, you put this on your finger, you put the finger in my ear. I ain't fuckin' my ear, am I?!"
And I kept goin' back and fourth and back and fourth and back and fourth. And JUST before I passed out...
I thought, "If it weren't for that horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college."