Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

My mental image of the Doctor as a morally upstanding Newgrounder has been wholly betrayed by this new development.

Goal 1:
Design, produce, print, and sell a comic book

Goal 2:
Befriend an old black woman

Goal 3:
Meet someone who is half Puerto Rican and half Tibetan or Sherpa

At 12/29/14 04:08 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 12/29/14 03:55 AM, fmn335 wrote: I wish I had the power to morph into anything I want!

Granted. You can only do this once ever, and the change is permanent....you wish you knew this before you decided to add a pair of rockin' Double D titties onto your chest, and nothing else.

I wish that all of mankind was merged telepathically with each other as one cohesive entity, the singularity, within the realms of comprehension and capacity of our minds as they are today.

Granted. This happens far in the future, long after you are dead. Your mind is reconstituted by merging all of your life's surviving work, a mathematical reconstruction of your approximate personality built using simulated evolution schema, and knowledge of the culture you were raised within. Time travel is invented, but since large scale interference with the past would cause irrevocable damage to the timeline, governments are granted the authority of Gods to protect reality from that sort of interference, only intervening in small discrete steps to improve the outcome of the ancestries of people who have insufficient data for artificial reconstruction.

You live in a simulated universe which feels as real or more real to you as the one you originated in, but you are never able to decide how deep into each fractal arm of reality you truly are. Are you the original Phobotech? Are you the first order, second order, or millionth order simulation of your persona—a computer blip in the unending process of creating more human humans?

You aren't even sure whether you are Phobotech. Maybe you are another mind who has assumed his identity. Perhaps you are a time traveler who went back through the Origin and invented yourself.

The endless possibilities confuse us and we never agree.

I wish I had a hundred unique sweaters.

At 12/29/14 12:07 AM, yurgenburgen wrote:

At 12/29/14 12:01 AM, 24901miles wrote:

At 12/28/14 11:52 PM, yurgenburgen wrote: oh yeah, that as well

Did you ever get to see Dau?

still in post-production as far as I am aware

I'm getting anxious for the US release and I'm trying to convince a friend who owns a cinema to have his mediator get a reel. Where do get your updates on the progress? IMDB?

At 12/29/14 12:01 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 12/28/14 11:17 PM, AboboJoe wrote:
Having a 64-bit chip. Being extremely fun to play on as a kid.

Having big adventures across Nintendo land to get their son back in an epic fashion.

Getting an AIM account so me and him and @Bit can group chat

At 12/28/14 11:52 PM, yurgenburgen wrote: oh yeah, that as well

Did you ever get to see Dau?

I don't really have one. I do watch things of this nature from time to time, though I have never been the sort of person who was able to pick favorites.

For documentaries:
www.documentaryheaven.com

For 20th century historical footage:
www.youtube.com/user/britishpathe

At 12/28/14 08:30 PM, Gagsy wrote: Sucker for any BBC/David Attenborough doc.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2zLvWeyiJY

@freaksy101

Bring the record to a graphic design shop, have them duplicate the label. Buy a blank record and have it inscribed with the Eagles Debut. Use the dummy record, give the real one as an accompanying present.

Craigslist ad "looking for experienced art welder"

Buy a length of chain, have it welded to shape for the base and LEDs, cut out in the center to hold the clock.

Add the wiring for LEDs and bolt on any additional parts.

Add the nuts and stuff to the fake record, then the label.

Iinstall the finished record, then the hands.

Make a hardwood box to hold it just in case he needs to move or put it in storage.

In 80 years, the clock is broken and the record is tested, and it still plays Eagles.

At 12/28/14 10:14 PM, jbown345 wrote: i feel like maybe we should lay off the guy? i dont know, he's dedicated a lot of his time to this place and im sure hes not reacting well to the group hazing

A lot of us actually think he would make a good mod, myself included.

He plays by the rules and has a reputation to uphold. He doesn't really participate in discussions with much depth, but then again neither do most mods.

At 12/28/14 05:21 PM, WahyaRanger wrote: The other issue I'm not having is what the make the top and bottom frame out of. I'm thinking some kind of sturdy plastic, but I went to the local craft shop and they had nothing like what I was hunting for. I have to hit up Amazon and eBay.

In case you decide against plastic:

I'd mount it on a flat cut of hardwood treated, but that doesn't fit the look. Can you get to a junkyard to find a 70s fender or dashboard piece, and cut that to size? Or maybe an old jukebox?

How are you going to make the base panel which attaches to the wall?

At 12/28/14 05:09 PM, WahyaRanger wrote:

At 12/28/14 04:58 PM, Jay wrote: There's so many worthless records out there, any collector would agree, so just grab a few to be safe and experiment. As long as you aren't drilling through any Pink Floyd, Beatles, etc vinyl, then there's nothing to worry about.

It's the Eagles debut.

Why would you use the Eagles debut instead of a dummy with a fake label?

At 12/28/14 09:28 PM, CiviLies wrote:

At 12/28/14 09:22 PM, WahyaRanger wrote:

At 12/28/14 09:18 PM, CiviLies wrote: This entire thread has mostly been about people who "don't care" about the NGBBS awards complaining about the NGBBS awards.

Wow.

Yeah I hate to be a cunt but can't this thread be locked now?

I'd like to second this notion.

You're flouting NG Holiday tradition. According to the scroll, *ahem*
The two spammiest users must treat the Awards Discussion Thræd as a chatroom for three (3) consecutive hours, forcing the only active Moderateur to Loque the Thræd."

Man, this is the greatest thread.

Knocker: Knock! Knock!

Homeowner: Who's there?

Knocker: I am the person you invited to dinner.

Homeowner: You are early, mein freund. It is breakfast-time. Ha! Ha!

Knocker: Oh, my mistake. Guten morgen! I have just flown in from halfway around the world and so my internal clock is 12 hours fast. I will go back to my hotel room and rest for the time being. Aufwiedersehen!

Homeowner: Danke! Ha! Ha!

A third party observing this interaction: Why did the German fellow not invite his German colleague inside to share breakfast? Are they not close enough acquainted? This mystery could remain permanently unsolved.

A fourth party observing the observer: This does not interest me. *eats a weiner schnizel *

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Who are you to question the self-determination of any of God's magnificent creatures? Should any chicken be forced to walk only on one side of the ground its ancient forebears trampled over with their lumbering gaits and mighty talons? A chicken does not abide the laws of Man. A chicken can not be expected to fear the temporary lines we draw upon the wilderness.

At 12/28/14 09:03 AM, Scintillating wrote: Why did the Newgrounder make an unfunny joke?

Because of ass-burgers.

Funny you should mention it.

I found an old archive of assburger photoshops from five years ago.

Come visit I'll make you an omelette so fluffy you melt

At 12/28/14 04:57 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: I'm sure people with preexisting medical conditions could shiver themselves into a heart attack or stroke.

Right?

Probably. Not that it matters, isn't the mechanism of death for a heart attack decreased blood flow resulting in asphyxia. If someone shivered themselves into a heart attack they'd just lose consciousness before they could feel their extremitîes freeze over.

I mean, obviously, they aren't going to shiver themselves in getting terminal stage 4 cancer.

What if the freezing process was slow enough to reduce metabolism and heart-rate the way cryogenic sleep works in lab experiments, but not slow enough to stop the spreads of existing cancer cells?

Look, can't anyone have fun and laugh a little anymore? Why is some kid always online with his smart-assed Wikipedia answers, as if anyone gives a fuck?

Don't cry, nobody's fact checking your little game

I think the world probably starts to slow down and your vision fades to black from the peripherals until you go blind and your final moments are progressively slower and slower shivers as your muscles freeze in place.

At 12/28/14 04:34 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: x-mas gumdrops..

Spicy ones, at that.

new years eve party on newgorunds.

Not short term plans.

Gotta get that shower head looked at. What, do I call a mechanic?

Actually, leveling and reseeding a yard, replacing a stoop, felling trees on a 30-50° incline above a residential neighborhood, limbing century oaks, finishing a second story, window repair, subdividing, etc.

Solar panels? Maybe dude. Awesome location for it.

Mechanics open in the morning.

Sunrise at the beach is just a good time for a winter swim.

Good luck dude.

Thanks, you too.

I am kicking back eating gumdrops, stewing over plans, thinking about house repairs, waiting for sunrise.

That Supergandolfini guy over there tripped your grandmother.

*points*

Putting together lists of disjointed text doesn't yield interesting results. Choose longer posts you have made.

This is supposed to be able to parse tweets and social media interactions, but I think it does a lot better with longform.

At 12/28/14 01:43 AM, thegarbear14 wrote: heres the result from a very cliche graduation speech from highschool i wrote, the goal was to write a cliche speech and i wanted mine to sound like it was written by a fucking cheeky bastard douche lord.

Self-expression
36%
Self-transcendence
100%

I only chose that essay because it was short and because of the topic it doesn't truly represent me. It representes a naive douche who speaks in cliches.

I thought your results were pretty interesting to compare to the character you were writing as and the persona I see in your posts.

Is there any chance you would post the speech here?

At 12/28/14 01:56 AM, Xenomit wrote: Also, miles, does this program have anything to do with what you asked me over PM several days ago or were you just using this for fun?

Everything I do fits together as a jigsaw piece and part of the larger puzzle of my activities. Our discussion is relevant to a larger project which incorporates this and some other stuff I have done with BlueMix and AWS, which in turn is under a larger arc of goals.

At 12/28/14 01:14 AM, Dr-Worm wrote:

At 12/28/14 12:26 AM, 24901miles wrote: Since we all really don't care why our names were mentioned, I pulled a list of the votes we all got, including events which focused primarily on one person's activities.

3 votes all in positive categories. Eh, I'll take it.

I tend to think that people who are voted into any category see it as a positive. @Xenomit loves socializing and being the center of activity, @TheGamechanger enjoys building discussions for the forum to participate in, @Phobotech is pleased by making thoughtful contributions to the community. Maybe they all disagree on what makes a good poster (number of threads, number of threads participated in, or depth of contributions to discussions, per) and maybe their styles go against the grain in different posting climates, but who's to say the BBS would be any worse if the climate changed and they were voted in for different awards?

At 12/28/14 01:01 AM, Natick wrote: bunch of nobodies and idiots congratulating each other on winning the senate elections for shit mountain

It's just like a real election! Yaaay!

When the world's oldest people are asked about the most important decisions they have made, most respond that it was their choice to be happy which made life worth living.

I think large groups make rational decisions when their choices average out.

http://watson-um-demo.mybluemix.net

In short, BlueMix is IBM's cloud computing platform. They allow developers to buy access to a powerful storage and processing system which is constantly upgrading processors and adding new types. They have recently added the ability to use IBM Watson brand natural language processors in addition to the more common machine learning and deep learning systems.

I have been using this to learn about a couple of you recently. Sorry!

Copy as past a few of your posts into the magic box and submit it for evaluation. Or somebody else's. Or somebody famous. Post the results here.

Are your results accurate? Are other people's results accuate?

Hey Bees, how's kicking ass and taking names

Since we all really don't care why our names were mentioned, I pulled a list of the votes we all got, including events which focused primarily on one person's activities.

40	TheGamechanger
31	NekoMika
22	Monster-64
21	Supergandhi64
19	Bit
17	Amaranthus
15	SubliminalVirus
12	Wegra
12	Xenomit
11	24901miles
11	dovahkhiin1994
11	EyeLovePoozy
11	WahYahRanger
10	TomFulp
9	Chronamut
9	Cyberdevil
8	ZE13
8	Phobotech
7	liljim
6	Piper
6	Radaketor
6	sekhem
6	TurkeyOnAStick
5	NGPulp
5	Nipplemanofmilk
5	Sevkat
5	stafffighter
5	Zachary
4	Alexborn
4	Asandir
4	BrenTheMan
4	Cordyceps
4	FinaLee
4	Voice Acting
4	Yurgenburgen
3	AtlasTheGaurdian
3	Dr-Worm
3	Gagsy
3	Heinrich
3	Murray
3	TheKlown
3	ZeroAsALimit
2	Avery
2	Back-From-Purgatory
2	BrazilianNinja
2	Chat removal
2	CorpseGrinderClock
2	DoctorStrongbad
2	fieldertiger
2	GoryBlizzard
2	Jester
2	Lich
2	ManDeep
2	NewgroundsMike
2	Slint
2	VNZI
2	Wavepad
2	XwaynecoltX
2	ZJ
1	1916 name
1	Afro-Ninja
1	baronvonbadguy
1	Bedn
1	BeheadedbyMuslims
1	BlueReality
1	Boomstick
1	brokendeck
1	BumFodder
1	CiviLies
1	Cronizone
1	DalexJ1337
1	Dean
1	deckheadtottie
1	Diki
1	DuckZombie
1	Egoraptor
1	EJR
1	Emma
1	GingerGymnast
1	Havegum
1	Head-Full-Of-Acid
1	HKS
1	Idiot-finder
1	idle
1	JadeTheAssassin
1	Jay
1	JeffreyFrog
1	Jolly
1	Jrob
1	kanef
1	KatMaestro
1	Knights
1	KoopaHermit
1	Larrynachos
1	Light
1	LiquidFire
1	Makakaov
1	M-Bot
1	McKillerRus
1	MONGOL9999999
1	MrWade
1	mysticvortex13
1	NeonSpider
1	ngcomicd
1	Nor
1	Oolaph
1	Painbringer
1	Plymouth58
1	poxpower
1	PsychoGoldfish
1	Raab
1	Rad
1	ReNaeNae
1	Robmon
1	Satori
1	Sensationalism
1	Sense-Offender
1	SexualEmo
1	Share the Food Wealth
1	Shauna
1	Slacker013
1	SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2
1	someaveragechap
1	Stereocrisis 
1	Stix
1	Store closing
1	Sword-of-Kings
1	Tailsprower
1	The BBS Awards 2014
1	The GIF Thread.
1	theblackkangaroo
1	TheColourAwesome
1	tigerkitty
1	UFOx
1	Voltage
1	williwowza
1	x-gary-gigax-x
1	YenMuffin
1	Zerodecoole

At 12/27/14 11:05 PM, vixuzar wrote: what kind of category even suits me ?

Best Syrian 2015
Most Interesting Punctuation 2015

At 12/27/14 10:34 PM, Cordyceps wrote: Most Helpful
Cyberdevil is often seen in the Where is/How to? forum, with a well rounded knowledge of the site and its content.

Hey, dude, you forgot to link his profile!

Cyberdevil

At 12/27/14 10:13 PM, stafffighter wrote: So the idea that people can discuss politics in an organic and non-adversarial manner is a myth? I don't look over to poli much any more either but smart people do exist.

The idea that the ideas and advice given by science to industry and passed on to be enacted by militaries is cherry picked for profit while disregarding the negative externalities is pretty accurately portrayed IMHO.

I'm sure there are plenty of people having nice little political chats for decades who throw all the rules out the window when trillions of dollars are on the line.

Yes, he shocked and awed us with a preemptive strike, as is his right as the decider.

People say the same thing about Elysium. How would you have done either differently?