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Spoilers: Spiderman Homcecumming is a huge waste of time

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Jul 15, 2017 | 4:52 PM EDT
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Spoilers:
Spiderman Homcuming was enterly pointless.
A complete waste of time.
a 2 hour marvel movie where absoulutely nothing interresting happens.
While it is true that homecoming has the second best villain in a marvel movie. First being guardians of the galaxy 2.
Birdman is a surprisingly good villain, despite the fact that he garbage in his original movie. I am not even sure if he had superpowers in that one.
Neither does he here actually. He has to fashion his own wings from alien technology that he had to pilfer.
much like iron man but much less snarky and smug.
And he does it for a good reason he sells illegal arms to make money not because he is a sadist or psycho.
the finest and purest villain, played by a good actor. the only saving grace in this teenage angst spiderman drama.
spiderman however is garbage.
at the start he is an obesessed fanboy to the great ironman, who is a distant father figure to him.
pretty much like supergirl series but even worse somehow.
the entire arch or the movie is spiderman trying to earn the respect of the iron man.
and he does this by being a complete retard. by willfully damaging the expensive spiderman suite the gave him. taking on foes he can't handle, endangeroing civilians, causing massive property damage.
and what for? just so he could learn how to do it on his own? bullshit, all he had to do was call avengers on the villain.
that would ve been the responsible thing to do and he would ve achieved all his goals. he would ve impressed iron man with his investegatory skills and responsible decision making.
and he would ve been able to keep his girlfriend save without having to jump over police helicopters. and then he could ve gotten some proper training from iron man.
he has all kinds of crazy training simulations in the animations.
and in the end when he finally has somehow impressed iron man with his foolish meddling only to turn down the offer to join the avengers.
at the moment I felt aww too bad he doesn't join the avengers. but then I realized who fucking cares.
the avengers is already a tiny clown car filled with too many clowns. and they are constantly bickering over who gets to wear the flower that squirts water.

You know how much I hate origin stories So you can understand me relief that we don't have to suffer and death of uncle ben in this movie.
But this is no less an origin story than the other spiderman movies were. much worse so even because spiderman this time is so fucking young that he still has to learn how to tie his shoes.
what is this? Benjamin Button Spiderman? Is he going to be teletubby spiderman in the next movie? At least that would be less insufferable than another movie teenage spiderman.
the stakes were incredidbly low. cause any time spiderman messed up iron man prompty came to bail him out, so what could the point of this movie possibly be?
for spiderman to be an avenger? big deal he was already in civil war. a rason for spiderman not to be in the avengers? well that clearly needed a whole movie as an explanation.
it's not even the spiderman doing anything good. cause all he does is cause chaos.
A complete waste of time. yet somehow beloved by critics and viewers alike.
what a sad state of affairs that this movie gets good ratings only because all just cause people were glad not to get a hattrick of shitty vanilla spiderman origin stories.
all the tech was really cool. the alien tech, the spiderman tech. the villain tech. it was all beautiful. but the story was so increddibly boring.
ok so it had a nice twist with who the bad guy was. but it was only good cause it was completely randomly pulled out of stan lees ass.
oh the villain was someones father was he? what is he darth vader. this is just the worst writing in super hero movies so far and that's a low bar to limbo.

I am glad these movie reviews are getting a decent amount of views, I love doing reviews. I am planning on doing a few more game reviews soon.
gimme a like if you agree, and subscribe if you don't agree. and give me a copyright claim if you are a butthurt movie producer.

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