I never leave a story behind a beat I drop, but tonight's different.

After countless nights where I can't sleep, I just can't trust what my mind tells me anymore. It's kind of hard believing that everything that you put in is going to pan out in the end. Now I'm not saying that it doesn't but it's hard getting it out my head that everything eventually comes to an end. Thankfully, it goes both ways. Honestly, I don't question when I receive blessings, so it's really unfair to get pissed when I see a couple gray cloud roll around my way. It's all relative, though..you know? Sometimes, it just becomes too much. That's why I called this Beautiful Nightmares. Every dream that I have is bittersweet. They are, in fact, nightmares, but they aren't "traditional" nightmares such as, falling or being chased, etc. They're memories...vivid memories.
(You see, I have remarkable recall. I remember moments; it's borderline photographic. As a result, I have flashes of reliving memories. It's a double-edged sword, as you can guess)

So what happens is I lay down and try to sleep, to no avail. It's usually what-if's and I wonder's that are in my head. When I sleep, there aren't bad dreams of my ex with another guy or her throwing me by the wayside. Instead, memories flood my head about my ex and all the times we had. Yes, the good, the few bad and the occasional indifferent. The thing about it is that I enjoyed all the moments and the fact that I'm having dreams about her are just salt in the wound, hence the title, "Beautiful NIghtmares"

I know. It sounds kind of weird typing that, but yes this is over a girl. It didn't "end" with malice or deception, but it was still ugly. It's a circumstance situation and I don't feel like explaining it. And I know there's a whole world out there just waiting to be explored and I might find someone "better" than my ex, but that's tomorrow and it hasn't come yet. Until then I'm going to have sleepless nights complete with a full recount of a girl that will forever hold a spot in my heart.

Kat = 5.24
Forever and Always.