I am a bit shocked how close your voice sounds to MM :) I don't want to nit-pick the song so I'm only gonna say this: good job :) To me it felt like a mix between MM's voice, NIN's way of using harsh percussive sounds and the atmosphere of the newer Mortiis music :) Don't be afraid of using a bit of guitar riffs here and there - even if it's just VST - it will add more depth and aggression, which is after all specific to industrial music. The vibe is there, it just needs a bit more edge - IMO, of course. All in all, quite remarkable :)