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A chiptune... uh... tune, featured in Portal Anarchy!
Story trailer coming soon ;)
As a short loop with no build, I feel like this is not a story but rather a frozen moment in a story. As such, it's really nice. But why is it four minutes and sixteen seconds long? Why not just set one instance of the loop to looping?
The melody has great potential for a longer, more story-like piece. If you just want something light and simple as a background that doesn't take too much attention to itself, then this is good as is. But if you want the music to stand well alone and dig into somebodies heart, then follow TroisNyxEtienne's advice.
Props for getting the chords, metrics etc. musically correct.
Granted, I'm aware this is a chiptune, but... here we find a few composition no-nos:
1) A loop that lasts for a few seconds, which DOES NOT BUILD UP with any layers of instrumentation, differing chords or sections, or even differing melody lines or dynamics,
2) And all that, coupled with a I - V - vi - IV chord sequence, which a lot of mainstream pieces are guilty of.
Even if this were an end theme with cutscenes or credits, part of what makes the piece memorable is not only the melody, it's the buildup: what goes into the substance of the piece. Let me give you a good example: Ashes of Dreams from Nier. Or even, the credits theme for Kingdom Hearts 1 (Capriccio I forget what the rest of the title is). Both of them have a recognisable melody, like yours. But what makes them stand out is that they tell a story. Every piece that tells a story must ACT like a story: it must build up, have a climax and a resolution -- and this piece has neither.
Thought it was great. Enjoyed it a lot!
not bad =)
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