Good but too slow and no kick-in. If you kicked it in and put some real energy into the main verses then this would of been amazing. Rest of it is good though, but I find this with a lot of your work I hear and I came upon your work via average girl. That song kicks in and you really put some speed and pace on it. Never do build ups if you never kick it in to something fast. It is like revving up a card getting dropped from a plane and then only going 10MPH.
Like I said, it may just be your style and it is nice but you seem to have some sort of weird conflict, you sound like in your songs like you are trying to getting power and energy out of your voice but yet because of the fact you hold back you never get there. I listened to your haru-song and my god I loved that, you clearly have a great voice and lots of talent so far be it from me to say you are doing it wrong but sometimes, you just need to stop with being slow paced and just crank it up.
Mix up you pace. Come in fast, slow down for a moment then kick it back in. Enter slow, build up and pull a false let-down to then hyper ramp up. This is the element of these sort of song because if you listen to dragonball Zs opening it is all mega energy, no holding the voice back.
Just my 2 hundredth of a pound sterling but you are talented. Keep it up.